Tuesday, May 30, 2006

YouTube Tuesday: I'm just dealing with a lot of crap right now...

Seth Green and the rest of the crew at Robot Chicken are comic geniuses. If you need any further proof, check out this brutal Star Wars send-up.

The Evil Emperor, playing the part of an arsehole CEO, learns of the destruction of the Death Star.
"That thing wasn't even fully paid off yet! Do you have any idea what this will do to my credit!"

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Monday, May 29, 2006

KGB Carnival for May 29

Another great week in Kansas Blogging with some great posts submitted by KGB operatives. Let's jump right in...
And this week's Honorary KGB blogger goes to...
Well, there you have it. Travel seems to be a theme today, which is appropriated given the holiday.

So get off of the Internet and go out and enjoy the day.


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Friday, May 26, 2006


With the summer beach season quickly approaching, I've decided it's time for some new swimwear. I'm considering this little number, though it might be a bit too "speedo" for me.

What do you think?

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Amelie Friday, back by popular demand

All of the avid readers of this blog (well okay, one of the few readers of this blog) are demanding (well, casually inquiring) that Amelie Friday make its triumphant return to Three O'Clock in the Morning.

Well, far be it from me to disappoint (actually, that's what I do best, but do let's proceed).

Here's how it works: I list three things I like and three things I dislike from the previous week. Then, you add your own list in the comments.

Here’s my list for this week:

Things I Like
  • Three-day weekends (who doesn't like that???)
  • Dinner and drinks on the corporate card
  • Boulevard Wheat on the deck at O'Dowd's on a sunny afternoon
Things I Dislike
  • When the week-old bag of stinking, rotting, fermented grass clippings breaks open all over my legs as I'm bringing it to the curb the night before trash day.
  • corporate reorgs (who doesn't hate that??)
  • Having high expectations dashed by mediocre novel writing
Okay, that’s my list for this week. Add your own list of likes/dislikes in the comments section. Or better yet, post them on your blog and let me know so I can link to them. Let's make this a regular thing.

Have a great weekend.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

West Side represent, yo

Quick, tie a string around your index finger.

This string is there to remind you to submit a blog post for the Kansas Guild of Bloggers Carnival that will be posted on Monday, May 29.

Here are a few quick guidelines:
  • Participating bloggers should be either living in Kansas or should at some time have lived in Kansas.
  • Or, participating bloggers should have at some point traveled through, around, or over Kansas.
  • Or, participating bloggers should have something to say that would be relevant to people living in Kansas.
That should about cover everyone.

One thing I would like to see more of is bloggers from western Kansas. Recent KGB carnivals have been pretty east-Kansas heavy, so if you know anyone from the West Side, tell them they better represent, yo.

And it always helps when you mention this call for entries on your blog. Feel free to include the submit link as well.

Thanks. Check back Monday for the roundup.

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Book Report: Welcome to two years ago

I picked up a copy of an obscure little novel the other day to help pass the time during a long weekend trip to a high school graduation ceremony.

You may or may not have heard of The Da Vinci Code, a quick little read that swept the nation a couple of years ago. The fact that I just picked it up last weekend pretty much makes me the last person in the known universe to read it.

My initial thought after reading the first few chapters was "Hey, they should make a movie out of this."

But seriously, I gotta say, 50 chapters in, I don't get what all the hubbub is about. Sure, it's a good yarn, but I haven't read anything that I would consider controversial.

So the fictional account of the quest for the Holy Grail attacks Christianity. You would think Christianity would be used to this by now. There have only been, what, a dozen or so Holy Grail movies? None of which were as good as the opus by Monty Python.

But then again, it's not like Catholics are lining up to burn embassies over this, so no biggie.

My biggest disappointment is in Dan Brown's writing style. This is the first of Brown's books that I've read. The plot is rife with twists and turns, but the structure the narrative is a bit clipped and full of literary gimmicks.

There are lots of four-paragraph flashbacks, for instance. And did you notice how Brown sets up a really tough situation only to have a character resolve it simply by having flash of intuition?
"Langdon had no idea how they were going to figure out the secret combination. Then suddenly it came to him. The combination was his social security number in reverse."
See what I mean? I dunno, just seems a bit too easy to me.

But still it's a passable novel if not a classic. I'm looking forward to finishing the read, then seeing the movie in a couple of years when it's out on DVD or aired on HBO.

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

"So I nearly got killed today"

Okay, I'm about a month slow in finding this story (thanks Andrew at J4TR), but I still wanted to ask this question:

How much you wanna bet the 'shooter' in this scenario was doing the Robert De Niro Taxi Driver "You talkin' to me" routine in his bathroom mirror --- with LIVE FREAKIN' AMMUNITION!!!

The Anti-Otter was damn lucky to come away with only a splattering of drywall shrapnel.

I think this incident lends support to my theory: Guns don't kill people, jackass numbskulls do.

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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Axl to grind

Speaking of 90's has-beens, I almost missed this story out of New York.

It seems Axl Rose, the sole remaining original member of Guns N' Roses, got his ass kicked by fashion force Tommy Hilfiger in a New York nightclub last weekend.

Ostensibly, the brawl was about Rose moving the drink of Hilfiger's main squeeze. But according to the NYPost, there's more to the story (isn't that always the case?)
"...the combatants have been at odds since Rose started dating Diane O'Connor, the ex-wife of Hilfiger's adopted brother, denim designer Michael H.

One source even went so far as to claim that the Hilfiger brothers had made a "pact" to pummel Rose on sight."
Rose tried to laugh off the incident. But if I were him, I'd be super embarrassed at getting the beat down from glorified tailor. What could be worse than being Tommy' Hilfiger's bitch?

The way I see it, his only recourse is to pull a Tony Soprano and pick a fight with the biggest, baddest bloke at fashion week (assuming he can a big, bad bloke at fashion week).

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YouTube Tuesday: Canon

This promising young musician has a great career ahead of him if he chooses to focus on classical music.

In the home-brew video below, we see him take on Johann Pachelbel's Canon with aplomb. It's good to see that there is at least one youth whose cultural awareness hasn't been eroded by Xbox and MySpace.

And for those of you who "don't like" classical music, at least give this a chance. It rocks. (And excuse me for trying to class up this joint).

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Monday, May 22, 2006

It blew my mind...

...today when someone said "Pauly Shore is nearly forty."

If you ever think you have wasted your life, just remember that at least you're not Pauly Shore.

Pauly, it's not okay if you're close to 40 and people are still calling you Pauly (unless you're in the mob).

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Sunday, May 21, 2006

KGB Carnival for May 22

Thanks to another crazy busy weekend, this week's KGB carnival is a short one. But what it lacks in length, it makes up for in brevity.

Also, there are some damn fine posts, if I do say so my damn self. So enjoy.
And this week's Honorary KGB blogger goes to...
Thanks for checking us out. Don't for get to submit your favorite posts of this week for next Monday's KGB roundup.

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Friday, May 19, 2006

Do It!

As Frank Barone would say, "Holy CRAP!!"

It's Friday afternoon already and I haven't put out the call for KGB Blog Carnival submissions.

So remember, all you Kansas bloggers, submit your favorite posts of the week for Monday's KGB roundup.

Help me get the word out by forwarding this invite to any blogger you know who might want to contribute.

And don't forget to check back here Monday (or subscribe to the RSS feed) for the latest update on what Kansans are blogging.

Thanks again everyone. See you on Monday!

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Thursday, May 18, 2006

Deconstructing Mission

Demolition crews have finally started tearing down the Mission Center Mall, just a few blocks from my house.

The mall has sat vacant and closed for a few months, though it was mostly empty for a year and a half or so. Here are a few shots of the deconstruction.

I'll post more pics as the deconstruction becomes more dramatic. City officials say it will take about four months to completely remove the mall, leaving a gaping hole at the intersection of Johnson Drive, Shawnee Mission Parkway and Roe Boulevard.

In its place will be The Gateway, a mixed-use development with 1.3 million square feet of residential, retail, office, entertainment and hotel space. You can read more about The Gateway on the developer's flashy new website.

I previously posted several pics of the architectural renderings of the planned development. Even though it won't be done for a couple of years, and we probably will have moved on by then, this will be a great improvement to the Roeland Park/Mission/Fairway area.

Imagine, all this great redevelopment and no pothole epidemic. Are you taking notes KCMO?

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Holl of fame

I've posted several items about the controversial Steven Holl-designed addition to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, so I wanted to link to this interview (hat tip to Tony).

In the audio, Holl told KCUR’s Laura Spencer that the museum addition is possibly the greatest work of his notable career.
"It began an uncompromising, fundamental conceptual strategy that was radical vis-a-vis all the other architects who approached the project. And it was supported by the trustees and the director of the museum not to be compromised in the process.

All those things in place, that's very hard to get that to happen in your life. So it's a special chance, this building. It's a very special chance and plays a special part in my work."
The design is being featured in an exposition in Japan called "Luminosity/Porosity"

Images of the museum addition can be viewed here, here, and here.

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Pass the hemlock

Today's meme via Planet Rusty...

I've always had this feeling that I would die of spontaneous combustion. But evidently, at least according to this very reliable online test, it will be from something more akin to what killed Aristotle.

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I drank what?!!"

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Our better angels

My supermodel wife and I attended a social function (since that's what us society types do for fun) at the KSU Alumni Center in Manhattan.

The happy hour/dinner was in honor of the "retirement" of renowned political science professor Dr. Michael W. Suleiman after 41 years at K-State. Dr. Sulieman is one of the foremost academic experts on Arab American studies. He has written numerous books and consulted with dignitaries and heads of state from around the world. He has a remarkable personal story as well.

That's not really germane to this post. I just like dropping names. Actually, you can imagine what it must have been like spending an evening with mostly gray-haired academics. It was all I thought it would be.

But there was an anecdote that did stick in my mind, and I want to share it with you here.

During the long parade of speakers that came to the podium to sing Dr. Suleiman's praises, came former student and current professor Fadi Aramouni. I'll present his comments here, to the best of my memory:
"When I first came to K-State I saw an article feature Dr. Suleiman on the front page of the student newspaper. I immediately called him and he agreed to meet with me the next day.

"We started a conversation and eventually came to the topic of racism and prejudice. He told me "Because you are an Arab American, you will encounter racism. But, you will never encounter racism or prejudice here at KSU."

"And he was right. I never have."
So what does this mean? Does it mean that there is no racism in Kansas? No. There is racism everywhere (although I think much of it is in the eye of the beholder).

Does it mean that KSU is a special place, better than others, because this person hasn't experienced racism there? No. KSU is special, and much better than some other places, but not for this reason.

So what's the point? I don't know really. Just that it made me feel good that someone has had a great experience.

And perhaps, hopefully, in the end we'll all be judged by the better angels of our nature.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

YouTube Tuesday: Vaderzilla

I caught this one on CNN over the weekend and it was so funny that I knew it would be on YouTube in a matter of hours. Who knew that anyone could get anything useful out of CNN?

I subtitled this one "EPISODE VII: Vader fucks with the wrong Japanese cop."


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Monday, May 15, 2006

Bradical on sabatical?

I received this comment in a previous blog post:
I visit your blog because your location is in kansas and please you can help me there is a blog www.bradicalmindspew.com from kansas city i visited this blog since more than 1 years and few days ago i try to visit but since that i can not i dont know why if you can go and see and try to visit if itis a problem from my computer or other thing you understund if something heppned to your favorite blog
thank i a from algéria north africa and i have 22 my name is nabil
i will visit your blog in few
days thanks
my e-mail mohamed07dz@yahoo.fr
Assuming this isn't some kind of phishing or spam post, I'd like to help mohamed07dz out.

So, anyone know what happened to Bradical Mindspew? I tried his link and and was taken to some kind of file tree. How 'bout a little help here, KC bloggers.

UPDATE: Yeah. The idea isn't to be some kind of stalker site. Just trying to determine if he started a new blog or gave up blogging for Lent or what. Obviously, we're not trying to "out" anyone.

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Xavier, the Hip Suburban White Guy, is freaking out about the new skywalk exhibit planned to open at the Grand Canyon.

I must say I was stoked when I first saw the photos and drawings for the Skywalk, which the Hualapai Indian tribe plans to open this year.

But at 3,800 feet in the air, I can see why the more acrophobic might get a little queasy. Maybe it's best to keep your leisure activities a little closer to the ground.

Hey Xavier, how about a nice friendly game of tennis:

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KGB Roundup for May 15

Thanks again for eveyone who submitted posts for today's Kansas Guild of Bloggers roundup. We've got another slate of excellent blogs from last week.

So let's jump right in...

And the Honorary Kansas Blogger for this week...There it is. As always, there are many more excellent blogs than I have time to link to, so if I've missed anything please let me know and I'll link to it.

Also, be thinking about posts you can submit for next week's KGB Carnival. If you're interested in hosting the carnival on your blog, let me know and we'll set it up.

So until next Monday, cheers!

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Friday, May 12, 2006

You and me and the KGB

I know it's early (6 o'clock in the morning where I am), but I want to raise my Friday drinking glass to those who have submitted posts through the Blog Carnival submit link for Monday's KGB roundup.

This will be the fifth KGB carnival I've hosted, and I've received some great responses, like this one from Joel Mathis at Cup o' Joel:
Hey Emaw:

Thanks for the work you do with KGB. Speaking only for myself, I feel like it's helped create and strengthen whatever strands of community exist among Kansas bloggers. And I'm grateful to have been mentioned, because it gets my stuff seen outside Lawrence. (That's ego-driven, I know, but I can't help myself.)

You do good work. Thanks again.
No, thank you Joel for participating. And thanks to everyone else who submits and reads posts.

Let's keep working to make this the best damn Kansas blog round-up in Kansas! Help get the word out by posting a link to the KGB blog carnival submit page. Send an email reminder to all your friends and neighbors (at least the ones who write/read blogs).

Don't forget to submit your own post as well, or you can email your entry to emawkc@gmail.com. Remember, deadline is 3 p.m. Central on Sunday.

Also, if you have a nominee for the Honorary KGB Blogger of the Week, send me the link along with an envelope of "cannolis" to assure your nominee is the winner.

Thanks again everyone. See you on Monday!

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Thursday, May 11, 2006

Three's a crowd

Last night I was looking for some quick news updates on a certain topic (that I won't go into here) so I flipped over to CNN.

I didn't find what I was looking for, but I did see that goober-with-two-last-names Anderson Cooper. He was doing a show about polygamy. Turns out polygamy is a pretty big deal in Utah (who knew?) and Canada -- even though it is technically illegal. In fact, according to AC, polygamist "prophet" Warren Jeffs is on the FBI's top 10 most wanted list.

I find this all interesting since my (only) Supermodel Wife and I have been watching Big Love, a series about a family of polygamists, on HBO.

I have to ask after watching that show, why the heck would anyone want more than one wife?

But upon further reflection, I could see how having multiple wives would be a good way to break up the monogamy.

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Welcome to the nanny state

The passage of the recent Kansas state law enacting a minimum age for marriage has been a blogger gold mine.

Its generally regarded that Kansas was long overdue for such a law, that only a backward hillbilly civilization wouldn't have a minimum marriage age.

Which leads me to think that I might be the only one who believes this kind of law is just a bit on the ridiculous side. I mean, is this something that is such a huge problem that it requires a state law? Really, is there an epidemic of 12-year-olds tying the knot?

When lawmakers should be focusing on important issues such as education funding and naming the official state reptile, aren't they trying to fix a problem that doesn't really exist?

Don't most people know better? Do we really need to legislate common sense? Does it require an act of congress to get people to use their freakin' brains? And where are the parent's of all of these marrying minors?

So now that we are a step closer to a full-fledged nanny state, here are a few other laws that we desperately need:
  • All persons above three (3) years of age must wipe their asses after every #2. Subsection (a) All males must lift lid of toilet before urination.

  • Residents of the state of Kansas shall not jump off a bridge merely because their friends also jump off bridges.

  • All state residents are prohibited from employing the use of cheese graters to shave off their nipples.

  • The legal blood-alcohol limit for wrestling with alligators shall be no lower than 5.08 percent.

  • Within the legal boundary of the State of Kansas, all people must use the magic words "please" and "thank you" when requesting and receiving objects and/or service or they will have to go to bed early without desert after supper.

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Wrong way

I was on a message board the other day, discussing the possibilities of a mid-term Democratic landslide in the upcoming elections.

The question was posed:
"How the hell did Kerry lose? How could ANYONE have lost against Bush?"
My answer was thus:
"The Dems lost last time because they ran on an "Anyone but Bush" platform. They have a golden opportunity with the upcoming elections. What I worry about is that they will again focus on personality and blame instead of proposing solutions.

Wrong message: "Those guys screwed up the country, vote for me."

Right message: "Let's reign in spending and do (fill in the blank) in Iraq. Vote for me."
I bring this up, because it looks like at least a segment of the liberal voters are already losing focus.

Many bloggers today are referring to a column penned (keyboarded?) by the Washington Post's Richard Cohen detailing the "digital lynch mob" that attacked him because he found no humor in Stephen Colbert's recent performance at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

This is bad news for the Democrats. They shouldn't be attacking each other based on pop culture criticism. They shouldn't really be attacking anybody.

They should be formulating a decent and workable proposal to put before the electorate.

The majority in congress is theirs for the taking, unless they snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

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Nerd humor

Received this morning from my Supermodel Wife:
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies: "Yes, I'm positive."
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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

YouTube Tuesday: Double feature doggy style

You know those goofy videos that get passed around through email and links? Well that's what YouTube was invented for.

So today, I'm posting not one but two videos that have recently invaded my inbox.

You dog lovers should dig this: Two videos of dogs doing crazy shit for our entertainment.

This first video actually is really amazing. This dude taught his dog to ride a skateboard... a FREAKIN' SKATEBOARD!

And, if you need more canine capers, watch this video mashup.

Update: Sorry to disappoint all you who were looking for porn... cheeky monkeys.

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Worth the tip

As a huge fan of WaiterRant, I was happy to hear his radio interview with KISS FM in Boston.

WaiterRant is one of the biggest blogs out there, so if you haven't started reading it yet, chances are your friends are making fun of you behind your back.

Check out the morsels of wisdom served with a splash keen insight and a good measure of good humor.

Oh, and here's a link to the radio interview.

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Monday, May 08, 2006

Slogan? Who needs it

A few months ago I blogged about New Jersey's quest for a new state slogan.

The state bought a slogan for $260,000 from a PR firm ("New Jersey: We'll Win You Over."), then had buyers remorse and decided to hold a contest to let state residents choose a new slogan: "New Jersey, Come See For Yourself."

Well, it turns out the state isn't happy with that one either.
State tourism officials said legal issues led them to scrap the latest slogan, explaining that West Virginia and other states previously used "Come See For Yourself."
Some people might see this as a boondoggle, but I see it as something the state could capitalize on. Why not incorporate this third stab at a slogan into the slogan itself.

The clever AP headline writer suggested: "New Jersey: We're Not So Good With Slogans."

Here are a few more ideas from yours truly.
  • New Jersey: Third time is a charm
  • New Jersey: Three strikes and your in
  • New Jersey: We like to do everything in threes
If you have any suggestions, leave 'em in the comments. C'mon! New Jersey's dyin' here!

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MySpace invaders

I love MySpace.

Not because of the deep philosophical discussions or because of the prominent posting of not-quite porn pics or the multitude of horrible music linked generously through just about every profile page (except for mine, of course).

No, I love MySpace for the ironic entertainment value. The megawebsite is a gold mine of teenage idiots just begging to be mocked. And let's face it, most teens are in need of a good mocking.

Tony does a pretty good job of divining nuggets of nimroditude to share with the rest of us.

But I have yet to see anything as funny as The Magical Grid of Bad Emo Hair brought to you by Demonbaby.As the saying goes, it's funny because it's true.

Hat tip to Blandwagon for the link.

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KGB Roundup for May 8

Happy Monday everybody, and welcome to the May 9 edition of the Kansas Guild of Bloggers roundup.

It was a great week in the Kansas blog world, and I've only managed to get a few of the deserving posts listed. Check back soon for the updated list (and drop me a line in the comments of via email at emawkc@gmail.com if you know of something that I've missed).

Hope you enjoyed today's tiptoe through the topics. As I said, if I missed something please let me know and I'll be happy to add to the list.

And as usual, don't forget to add yourself to the KGB Frappr Map.

Next week's Carnival will be published on Monday, April 17, same Bat-time (about) and same Bat-channel. So make sure to submit your posts through the Blog Carnival submit link.

Ciao for now...

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Friday, May 05, 2006

KGB call for entries

Once again it's time to make sure to get your submission in for next week's Kansas Guild of Bloggers Blog Carnival.

More and more people are submitting their posts through the Blog Carnival submit link. This is much appreciated because of the extreme nature of my laziness.

But you can also email your entry to emawkc@gmail.com. Remember, deadline is 3 p.m. Central on Sunday, April 30.

Remember, we have very strict criteria for submissions. You must be a blogger who is from Kansas, or has visited Kansas, or who knows where Kansas is on the map, or who knows that there is a place somewhere called Kansas. Politically, you must be very liberal or very conservative, or somewhere in between.

And as always, one lucky blogger will be named Honorary KGB Blogger of the Week, with all of the honors and privileges that go along with that title (i.e. none at all).

Thanks to everyone for participating. And don't forget to add yourself to the KGB Frappr Map. It's fast, easy, and it can save you a bundle on your car insurance (not really).

See you on Monday!

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Cinco de Mayo, a brief history

We have all grown to love Cinco de Mayo. It's a great reason to party, right up there with New Year's Eve, Independence Day and Halloween.

But as with many aspects of post-modern American culture, we tend to lose sight of the true meaning of the traditions and observances and focus to much on the candy-colored surface.

So here, in another public service (especially for you other pale faces), I offer a brief history of the true meaning of Cinco de Mayo as presented by Universidad Vera Cruz history professor Phillipe U'Hoff.
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.

Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
What? You expected something educational from me?

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Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Best... Hack... EVER!

This hack is so awesome! I can't wait to try this along Roe Avenue, except I'm thinking of using something a bit more demented, like:


Here's a quote from the criminal mastermind who perpetrated this wicked-funny hoax.
Recently a construction company left a pair of these signs in my neighborhood, blasting out their pointless messages. Being a creative tinkerer, I decided to do something about it.
And a special thanks to Andrew at Just for the Record for mining this gold.

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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

La Vita Loca

Yesterday, millions of illegal immigrants walked off of their illegal jobs and out of their illegal schools to prove that they are willing and able to work in America, improve themselves, and chase the American dream.

It was hoped that, with all of the workers leaving their lawn mowing, roofing and house cleaning jobs, the economy would grind to a screeching halt. Unfortunately, according to the AP, the only major businesses harmed were Mexican food restaurants.
The rallies shut down 29 branches of Chipotle Mexican Grill, a Denver-based fast-casual dining chain. Goya Foods, which bills itself as the nation's largest Hispanic-owned food chain, suspended delivery everywhere except Florida in what the company called a gesture of solidarity.
As you may have guessed, I'm not a supporter of illegal immigrants ditching school and their jobs. I think it sends the wrong message. It doesn't really say they want to be American citizens, it says they want to be illegal immigrants with benefits.

Of course, I can't really put all the blame for these demonstrations on the illegal immigrants themselves. They are being led by people of questionable motive.

And, the proposal itself was stupid. The reaction among illegal immigrant groups was predictable, and I suspect that the authors of the proposed legislation hoped it would cause a nice little media diversion. When was the last time campaign finance corruption made front page news?

But now we are in a position where neither side can back down. Obviously, you can't just make 11 million people felons with the stroke of a pen. We just don't have the resources to round up and incarcerate/deport 11 million people. And even if we did, these workers are integral to our economy. I don't think we really want to face the economic consequences of removing 11 million or so workers.

On the other hand, we don't have the resources to absorb the 11 million illegal immigrants as American citizens. Our strained social welfare programs, such as they are, just couldn't handle the added demand.

Some people view this as a racial, anti-Hispanic issue. That's ridiculous.

Calling me racist against Latinos because I don't approve of illegal immigration is like calling me racist against Italians because I don't condone organized crime.

It's simply a matter of integration. One need only look at the recent riots in France and its 20 percent unemployment among some groups to get a taste of the affects of mass immigration without a system for integration.

The illegal immigration question comes down to this proposition: We can't deport 11 million people because our economy is dependent on these workers, and we can't grant citizenship to everyone because we simply don't have the resources.

The unpopular answer, unfortunately, is to look the other way and move forward with the status quo.

But that doesn't score any political points for anyone and it's not much fun to blog about.

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YouTube Tuesday: Titanic the Sequel

Since I had "Titanic" in the headline of last week's YouTube feature, I did a search on YouTube to see what else would come up.

I wasn't disappointed.

Whoever did this video did a great job editing titles, dialog and clips from various movies. It almost had me convinced that there would be a sequel to Titanic. It's mashup culture at its finest.

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Monday, May 01, 2006

Why must you be meme to me

I don't think I've ever done one of these before, so this is a first for me. I picked this one up from Joel, who got it from JD, who got it from Mike, who got it from... well you get the idea. It's like and STD.

Emawkc A-Z

Accent: None. Only foreigners have accents. You know, people from North Dakota.

Booze: Boulevard Wheat, '97 Brunello, Manhattan served up with two cherries.

Chore I hate: Well "hate" is a pretty strong word, but I could do without cleaning the gutters.

Dog or cat: Dog definitely. Jack Russell Terrier to be exact.

Essential electronics: iPod and electric nose hair clippers.

Favorite Cologne: The Beach, by Kramer.

Gold or Silver: Black gold, oil that is. Texas tea.

Hometown: Born Wakeeney. Graduated high school in Marion (not Merriam, or Marysville or St. Marys)

Insomnia: Not one of Al Pacino's better efforts, although it was nice to see Robin Williams make a break from the zany characters we were used to seeing him play...

Job Title: Assistant urinal cake changer.

Kids: One (that I know of).

Living arrangements: A cage in the basement.

Most admirable traits: 12-inch penis and self-deprecating sense of humor

Not going to cop to: Lying about my penis size.

Overnight hospital stays: none (yet).

Phobias: Carney folk. You know, small hands, smell like cabbage.

Quote: "The problem with socialism is that people like to own stuff" -- Frank Zappa

Religion: Snake Dancer.

Siblings: Two sisters, one bro, millions of kindred spirits.

Time I wake up: After my first cup of Senseo

Unusual talent or skill: I won more than seven all-you-can-eat chicken wings eating contests

Vegetable I love: Filet Mignon.

Worst habit: Entering all-you-can-eat chicken wings eating contests.

X-rays: I had my head x-rayed. They didn't find anything.

Yummy foods I make: I can smoke a mean Boston Butt.

Zodiac sign: Libra, for what it's worth.

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Instant coffee karma

Last week I blogged about an incident at Starbucks where a guy I thought was pretty cool turned out to be a complete douchebag when dealing with the servers.

I remarked that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat workers in the service industry. And because we are known by the company we keep, I made a point to speak with the Starbucks employee before I left.

Fast forward to today. I walk into the Starbucks for my daily dopio and there behind the bar is the intrepid barista from last week. I place the order, pay my two bucks and wait for the dark liquid courage.

When I pick up the demitasse at the counter, it came with a voucher for a free Starbucks beverage of my choice. Those of you who frequent Starbucks know that, depending on what beverage I choose, this voucher could be worth up to $150.

This incident made me think of something my dad used to tell me. My dad is a very wise man, wiser than I could ever hope to be. And he tried to share this wisdom with me and my siblings as we were growing up.

He told us that one of the immutable laws of the universe is that when you do something nice for someone, they feel an obligation to do something nice for you in return.

They may not actually do anything nice. But nonetheless they feel the obligation, however slight. Likewise the converse is true. If you crap on someone, they feel an obligation to crap right back on you.

This is all pretty simple, it's the whole "do unto others" shtick that others have come up with. But it amazes me how easy it is to not be an asshole and the tangible benefits you can get by being decent.

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U.S. prepares for 'Day Without Immigrants'

Subhead: Illegal immigrants and their allies plan nationwide day of protest to flex economic muscle.

"Some will skip work, others will protest at lunch breaks, school walkouts or at rallies after work."
Skipping work and school? If they not careful, these "illegal immigrants and their allies' are going to give Latino people a reputation for being lazy.

Actually, I think both sides in this debate are being unreasonable and all of the attention being paid to the issue will result in bad policy. I hope to expand on this in a future blog post, but I really don't have time to blog right now, since I'm not skipping work today.

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KGB Carnival for May 1

Thanks to everyone who submitted a post for this week's Kansas Guild of Bloggers roundup. And a huge thanks to everyone who helped get the word out.

Here are this week's notable Kansas blogs:
And, this week's Honorary Kansas Blogger...
Okay, thanks for reading and enjoy. Don't forget to have your pets spayed or neutered, and add yourself to the KGB Frappr Map.

Please submit your post for next week's edition by 3 p.m. on Sunday for your chance to win fabulous prizes.*

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*No actual prizes will be awarded, but please submit anyway.