Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Probing thoughts

Some local bloggers have been having a nerdgasm about the recent trip of the Pheonix probe (heh) to our nearest planetary neighbor, Mars.

It's all very exciting, the prospect of finding the building blocks of life on another planet, the achievement of sending our technology across the solar system to do our bidding, the thought of Americans colonizing another world.

But, lost in all of the hype we forgot about one very important group. I mean, don't get me wrong, I applaud our efforts to bring democracy to Mars. I'm just not so sure how keen the Martians are on the idea.

What might their feeling be about us probing their planet, acting all big and dusting off their ice and all?

How would you feel if a powerful nation shoved a thinly veiled metaphor in the shape of a robot arm into your polar ice cap?

Like I said, I support our invasion. I'm just sayin' we should let the Martians know what they're in for. And I think a good ambassador would be deep thinker Jack Handey.

A couple of years ago, Mr. Handey penned (keyboarded?) a piece for The New Yorker letting us know just what he would say to the Martians. It is cleverly titled, What I'd Say to the Martians.

Here's a snippet of audio taken from a recent episode of PRI's Studio 360. You can hear the entire essay there.

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  1. Would some one please think of the Martians, for fucks sake!

  2. Goddamn, that was funny! Thanks!

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