Friday, October 03, 2008

The Obvious Psychic

Most people don't know this, but I have psychic powers.

My powers used to be more acute. Back in high school, for example, I successfully predicted the rise and fall of Yahoo Serious. Then during college I got kind of messed up in drugs, and even though I'm clean now, I only have flash forwards every now and then.

But I still have a talent for making obvious psychic predictions with stunning accuracy, so I've put together a few for this weekend. You can keep score at home. It's fun, see?
  • Saturday Night Live will lead off with a skit featuring Liz Lemmon impersonating Tina Fey impersonating Sarah Palin in the VP debate. That show's predictability is matched only by its unfunniness. Who'd a thought we'd look back with longing on the Kevin Nealon days.

  • TKC will have no less than a dozen posts about the KCMO co-mayors. His predictability is matched only by the pictures of scantily clad women he posts. Still, he's an order of magnitude more original and funny than SNL.
  • The K-State Wildcats undefense will get shredded by Texas Tech to the tune of about a brazillion yards.

  • Congress will drive the final nail into the coffin of the country formerly known as America by passing the $850 billion Buy Our Way Into Social Totalitarianism Bill.

  • There will be at least three people killed in East Kansas City over the weekend, which, with the direction this country is heading socially and politically, makes them the lucky ones.

  • And finally,

  • Larry Moore will continue to be a complete goober by gushing all over MU while reading non-news stories about homeless cats or fake local celebrities.
There's more, but the premonitions are getting really weird and disturbing (I don't know why The D and XO would be sharing a pair of rubber pants (shiver)) so I'd better stop for now.

You kids have great weekend.

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  1. Ya had me til the rubber pants. You are so right about the Kevin Nealon days. Sad, isn't it?

  2. How old are you, like 50?

    Who is Kevin Nealon? Was he on SNL in the 60's?

    Answer me this Mr. Smarty Pants? Am I going to get laid this weekend?

  3. The D,

    What am I, a Magic 8 Ball?

    To answer your question: Outlook not so good.

  4. I actually liked few SNL clips especially the one where McCain approves his messages. I don't watch SNL anymore, the good parts are emailed to me the next day by everyone who has my email.

  5. I don't watch SNL, but I watch the Pailin skits. The first two Fey/Palin skits were comic genius. The best political satire I've seen in years.

    Palin nails Fey - er, Fey nails Palin. Whatever.

    Especially the second skit - the "I'll take a lifeline" is the best of some totally exemplary comedy in that sktech.

    The only people I know that didn't laugh are the people who seriously think she's qualified for the job, or think that Obama is the anti-christ.

    Seriously, I have a well-balanced born-again Baptist co-worker who hates Obama but thinks Fey's impersonation is hilarious.

    Although tonight's skit wasn't that good, they should have continued the Katie Couric interview format. When you have an impersonation as good as Fey/Palin, the others (like Biden et al) seem lame by comparson.


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