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Here's something fun to do some weekend.

Get up at about 5 a.m. Hop in your car and head southwest out of Kansas City on I-35. Keep going for about about 3 hours and you'll arrive in Wichita. Now exit onto US Highway 54 and keep going west. Keep going. Keep going... more... more.

After about four more hours, you'll arrive in Liberal, Kan. Wasn't that fun?

Along the way, you will have noticed the landscape taking on a decidedly horizontal nature. John B. at Blog Meridian noted this phenomenon during a recent trip to Dodge City.

Most people I know--even, in one case, a student I'm teaching this summer who is FROM there--would wonder, What would bring otherwise-sane people out there? To live, no less?

I lived/worked in Liberal for about two and a half years, and it's true. At first blush, it appears that there is nothing but grass, sky and roadsigns in southwest Kansas.

But believe me, if you look more closely there is much more there. The tastes, textures and colors are there, but in much finer gradations than in urban areas. It's like comparing a subtle French-style wine to a bold-tasting Californian, or exploring the abstract and complex hues of a Mark Rothko.

You have to work a little harder, spend a little time and dig under the surface, but in the end it's worth it.

Here are a few my personal observations from living there.

• The people are very nice, congenial even, but only from a distance at first. There is a feeling that they know you're "just passing through" and that you have no real interest in getting to know the lay of the land. But they're okay with it. Life there isn't for everyone.
• For me, living in an area so dominated by vast expanses of earth and sky provided a great deal of perspective. Standing on the "hill" on the Liberal golf course, you can see forever on a clear day. You can watch towering thunderstorm clouds barreling down the prairie from miles away. It was a clear message that I, a mere human, am insignificant in comparison to the vastness of nature/creation.
• Ancient resources like the Ogallala Aquifer (a giant underground sponge full of water) and the Hugoton Gas Field - the largest natural gas deposit in the North America (aside from Al Franken)- contributed to my sense of perspective in time. There I was, living a few feet above water that dates back to the last ice age.

I guess the point is that all places are interesting and have their own kind of beauty. Sometimes it's more overt and in-you-face. Sometimes you have to get under the surface to find it.

But if you're only looking at roadsigns, that's all you'll see.

tagged: Kansas, perspective, Dodge City, Mark Rothko, Ogalla Aquifer, Hugoton, Liberal

Carlin v. Coulter

I made a special point to switch from Letterman over to Leno last night to watch Carlin v. Coulter.

I'm a huge George Carlin fan. Always have been. He's got such a great way with words and he's never been afraid to say anything. Ann Coulter was also a guest.

Obviously, like the rest of the shallow minded, I was hoping to see a train-wreck of a clash between Carlin and Coulter, two people of opposite and outspoken political views.

Fortunately (or unfortunately for those of us hoping to see fireworks) the segment was very civil. Carlin cracked wise a couple of times ("I never thought I would move to the right of Ann Coulter" he said, as he made room on the guest couch), but he pretty much let her have her moment.

And Coulter did an adequate job presenting herself. She didn't crash and burn, but she didn't knock anyone's socks off.

Of course much hay was made of the recent quasi-controversial remark she made in her book re: 9/11 wives. I really don't see what's so controversial, given the context of the comment.

My biggest problem with Coulter (and others like her on all sides of the political spectrum) is the pervasive "we verses they" world view. Liberals verses Conservatives (neocons). It's not very conducive to debate and progress.

But then, progress isn't really the objective. As I pointed out on STP's Coulter post and Dan pointed out today, people like Coulter (and Michael Moore, Arianna Huffington , et. alii.) are really in the business of generating buzz to gather readers and sell books, syndicate columns, etc. And in this regard you, me and all the rest who talk, write and comment about them are complicit.

tagged: Ann Coulter, George Carlin, Jay Leno, politics, culture, Michael Moore, liberal, conservative

You know it was a great party when...

These three words appear together: hippie airbrushed boobies.

Thanks for the pics NCTRNL.

tagged: Wakarusa, festival, Lawrence, hippie, airbrush, boobies, party

Tropical depressing

I feel really bad for AlGore today.

Lately AlGore has been at the height of his propaganda power, eclipsing even the great Michael Moore with his magnum opus An Inconvenient Truth, a so-called documentary about how evil Republicans are causing global warming in an attempt increase unemployment for brown people and make loads of money off of a hurricane-induced shrimp shortage.

Yes, AlGore has been flying high on the winds of a predicted record number of named Atlantic and Gulf Coast hurricanes headed our way this season while residents of New Orleans continue the struggle to recover after last year's Hurricane Katrina.

But this past weekend took a little bit of wind out of his sails.

As Tropical Storm Alberto rumbled toward the Florida coast, one could almost see AlGore and the Goreites salivating at the prospect of another chance to score political points from another vicious storm. And even though weather scientists remained calm, some chicken littles got their hopes up that we would see yet another hurricane as the storm intensified over a three-hour period.

But alas, Alberto just didn't have the right stuff. He sauntered onshore with lots of rain, but from an AlGore perspective, was pretty anticlimactic (anticlimatic?).

So let's hope, for AlGore's sake, that the next weather system to come across the Atlantic is a little more menacing. By the end of Hurricane Season 2006, if all goes well and millions end up dead or homeless, AlGore may still have something to smile about going into election season.

tagged: Al Gore, hurricane, Katrina, global warning, Florida, politics, environmentalist

Monkey News: Chimp rights

Taking a cue from comic genius Karl Pilkington, I bring you the latest edition of Monkey News:

Prof Steve Jones considers the consequences of human rights for chimps

David Hammerstein is a Spanish Green who supports a Bill to accord rights to chimpanzees on the grounds that "their social and emotional needs are at the same level as handicapped people, small children, or the elderly and mentally impaired".

That strikes me as a dangerous argument if applied in reverse and, although some of my best friends are primates, it is also entirely arbitrary. If chimps have rights, why not gorillas; if gorillas, why not monkeys; and if monkeys, why not mice or mynah birds? Certainly, all those creatures deserve respect - but where do we draw the line?

Jones goes on to note the main argument of the other side is that 98 percent of the DNA of chimps and humans is identical.

Of course where DNA is concerned, 2 percent can make a huge difference.

...the DNA responsible for powerful muscle proteins is also out of action in humans compared with chimps (to wrestle with our closest relative, whatever its rights, is always a mistake). A tea party organised by those African primates might also prove a risky experience, for they have a whole series of enzymes that detoxify poisons and allow them to eat plants that would be fatal to humans.

In addition we are, compared with them, creatures of regrettably poor taste, for a whole series of DNA segments involved in gustatory experience have rusted away in Homo sapiens but survive in chimps. We smell, by the way, even worse.

Personally, I've always thought that chimps aren't very much like people. But there are some people who are very much like chimps.

It's like that old Bing Crosby chestnut says: All the monkeys aren't in a zoo. Everyday you meet quite a few.

tagged: monkey, chimpanzee, chimp, human rights, DNA, genetics, Karl Pilkington

YouTube Tuesday: So What

I came home yesterday after a particularly stressful Monday. There always seems to be piles of work stacked up after a long business trip.

So I get home, plug in my iPod and cue up my "decompression" playlist. I pour myself a Glenlivit on ice and take a seat on the screened-in sunporch while Miles and Coltrane chill it out with So What.

Ahhh. Scotch and jazz. Just the thing to take the edge off.

I know jazz doesn't do it for some people. But if you can't dig this riff, then I can only conclude that you have no soul.



tagged: music, YouTube, video, jazz, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, So What

BBC: It's okay to say 'gay'

Finally, we can start using the word gay pejoratively without the risk of being called a homophobe.

No less of an authority than the BBC (THE BB FREAKIN' C!!!) has now determined that the term gay no longer refers to homosexuals.

All the gay, er, homosexual people should be relieved. Think of all of Fred Phelps's useless signs.

According to the BBC, the word now means "dull and boring." So this might be considered gay, under the new meaning of the term (Just kiddin' Tony. Just bustin' your balls).

Here's the history of the word, ganked from the BBC:

HOW BRIGHT BECAME DULL

• Believed to derive from Old French "gai", the Latin "gaius" or a Germanic source. Originally meant "carefree", "happy" or "bright and showy"
  
• From late 17th century acquired sexual connotation of "uninhibited by moral constraints"
  
• Gertrude Stein’s Miss Furr & Miss Skeene (1922) cited as first published reference to ambiguous sexuality
  
• Noel Coward pens tribute to dandies of the “gay Nineties” wearing green carnations in 1929 musical Bitter Sweet
  
• Used to describe foppish dress code, unattached men or bachelors until adopted by homosexuals themselves in 1960s
  
• Originally used as an adjective ("he is gay"), the word is adopted as singular noun ("I am the only gay in the village")
  
• Children and students use gay as shorthand for "rubbish" during 1990s
  
• Bloggers substitute "gay" for "boring" or "dull", reversing original meaning

Now, I don't mean to be gay about this whole thing. Don't want to belabor the point. But I can't wait to start calling all kinds of stuff gay.

Like, I think world cup soccer is incredibly gay (buncha muscular men chasing a ball all day). And don't get me started on how gay NASCAR races are. Hell, you can't get much gayer than a bunch of guys driving up each other's rear bumpers. Puuhleeze!

But there could be some political fall-out from this. I mean, just think how many gay marriages there are now (not mine, of course).

tagged: gay, homosexual, BBC, World Cup Soccer, NASCAR, gay marriage, Fred Phelps

And it stoned me to my soul

It was eerie standing on my front stoop. The torrential rain had abated so I was no longer worried about getting soaked.

I watched the ghostly white meteorites plant themselves in my front yard and ricochet off of my house and cars. The otherwise quiet neighborhood echoed with the crash and smash of the hailstones. The bang of the stones off of shingle roofs and cedar siding sounded like a war zone.

I just hoped for minimal damage.

When it was over, I collected a few of the golf ball-sized specimens to show my daughter in the morning.

tagged: storm, hail, Kansas, eerie, weather

KGB Carnival for June 12

I'm back after a couple of days hiatus. Everyone should take a blogging break every once in a while, just to keep the addiction in check.

But I can't think of a better first hit than the weekly round up of Kansas blogs. So here we go, just remember that it's customary to pass the dutchie on the left hand side...

• LadyGunn reveals Why I Am The Nutjob I Am.
  
  
• Lyn Perry isn't just Cloning around at Bloggin' Outloud.
  
  
• John B.'s beautiful mind presents In which the Meridian confesses he has unconsciously behaved like John Nash for 3 months posted at Blog Meridian.
  
  
• Melissa looks Pretty in Pink posted at Space and Time
  
  
• Shea finds out that Kansas can be a hot spot at A California Girl in Kansas.
  
  
• JD has some advice for Republicans at Evolution.
  
  
• Old timer Joel Matthis waxes nostalgic about old time entertainment at Cup o' Joel.
  
  
• The Whole Wheat Blogger doesn't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows.
  
  
• John Mason finds an enemy within at Right Minded Thinking.

And this week's Honorary Kansas Blogger:

• Kevin Surbaugh has some tips for Recycling Almost Anything & Saving Money at Becoming and Staying Debt Free.

tagged: Kansas, blog, blogger, carnival, KGB, Iraq, John Nash, Zarqawi, entertainment, clone

What a long, strange trip it's been

Finally back in good ol' KC. It' great to be home and see the family again. I just have a few random thoughts to close out this trip:

• Travel (especially business travel) while stressful is a great opportunity for people watching. And I saw some very interesting people during my trip from, celebutantes to redneck race fans. Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard was a really nice guy. Very genial to the wait staff and gawking fans. Even pretty decent to the paparazzi. Of course, it didn't hurt that one of the photographers slipped him a $20 to find out where Lohan and Co. were going next.
  
  
• But the best people-watching experience was seeing Spiderman walk through the lobby of the hotel last week. Seriously, your friendly neighborhood Spiderman. The hell of it was that nobody really acted that surprised. Just another day in Manhattan.
  
  
• Air travel really sucks. I took the Amtrack from Manhattan to Wilmington, DE, then again from DC to Manhattan. Great experience. No waiting, comfortable cabins, lots of room. Why anyone would want to take a plane when a train is available is beyond me.
  
  
• Speaking of Delaware, I was surprised how undeveloped it is. Very rural. Even the beach town we overnighted in seemed to be a decade or two behind the times. I think there's a lot of potential there, especially since there's no sales tax in Delaware. Of course, I was only there for two days, so what do I know.
  
  
• To the two gentlemen dining beside me at Sardi's, sorry again for spilling my water on your shoes. How embarrassing is that.
  
  
• T-Mobile hotspots really suck in Manhattan. I pretty much wasted $20 or $30 on shitty wifi connections.
  
  
• The West Village redeemed the Big Apple in my mind. Previously, my experience had always been in the Times Square area and the blocks around there. Yeah it's urban and all, but too "touristy." I'll definitely have to make a point to visit Greenwich Village again when I go back.
  
  
• How busy does it have to be for a city the size of Manhattan to have no hotel rooms available. When I arrived at the Grand Hyatt on Park Avenue and gave me their reservation number, they said my room wasn't available and the hotel was full. But if I could wait a few hours the could put me in the VIP suite on the 34 floor (rooms 44 and 45). Well, if that's the best they can do I suppose it will have to suffice. (score!)

Sometimes the lights are shining on me. Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been.
tagged: travel, New York, Manhattan, Delaware, Spiderman, Lindsay Lohan, Amtrak, Sardi's