Today's Top 10

The category is the Top 10 Worst Starting Lines for a Conversation.

So if a conversation starts with these lines, you know it's going to be bad news and you should just avoid the conversation altogether.

10. Do you want to hear a funny joke?
9. Don’t take this the wrong way, but…
8. Hello {insert your name here}, my name is Detective Smith…
7. Your test results are back, and we're going to need you to come in to the office.
6. Hello. Yeah it's been a while. Listen, the reason I'm calling is that my test results are back, and...
5. May I please have 5 minutes of your time?
4. You've had a rich, full life...
3. I'm gay and just slipped you a roofie, it should start taking effect right about...
2. Has this ever happened to you before?
1. I've got good news and horrible, awful, devastating news

Big props to my boy Mike U. for pitching in. Keep it real man.