Christmas hangover

Ingredients:

• One SUV crammed with two-months salary worth of gifts for inlaws
  
• One three-year-old
  
• 400 miles worth of open highway to drive
  
• Inlaws (any amount will do)
  
• Four heavy Christmas dinners with all the "fixin's"

Directions: Combine ingredients and set tension level to medium for two days. On the third day, raise tension level to high and allow to boil over. Serve and enjoy.

Damn it's good to be home. 4 Christmases in 5 days is way too much holly freakin' jolly for me. I just settled in with a nice glass of eggnog that I make out of bourbon and nothing else.

Anyway, I have a lot of Christmas horror stories, some of which I might share. Actually, though, it wasn't all bad. I did get a few things from my wishlist. Plus I'm still on vacation for a few more days, so I've got that going for me.

Well, here's to wishing you all a happy post-Christmas recovery.

tagged: Christmas, hangover, bourbon

Hello? It's your big brother calling

Here’s one that will send shivers down the spines of the paranoids.

A New York judge has granted the government its request to be able to track the position of cell phone without first getting a warrant.

I can see Dan going into convulsions already.

In related news, the government has also declared 2 plus 2 to be 5, War is now Peace, Ignorance is Strength, and Freedom is Slavery.
tagged: cell phone, spying, Big Brother, news, George Orwell, Government

Even in New Jersey

I saw the governor of New Jersey wasn't happy with the state's new slogan, "New Jersey, we'll win you over," for which they paid a consultant a cool quarter of a million tomatoes.

Meh, it could be worse. But in an effort to get more entries, N.J Governor Richard Codey announced a contest open to NJ residents to come up with a new state slogan. Unfortunately, he didn't count on the sarcasm of his constituents.

The slogan committee has already had to weed out suggestions like "Come to New Jersey: It's not as bad as it smells."

Luckily, being from Kansas I have some recent experience with this sort of thing, so I’ve taken it upon myself to add a few of my own suggestions. Just PayPal me the $260,000, Gov. Codey.

• New Jersey: Keeping it in the Family
  
• New Jersey: Everyone’s a Soprano
  
• New Jersey: Neither New, nor a Jersey
  
• New Jersey: More than just a turnpike
  
• New Jersey: The State Shaped Like an Appendix

tagged: New Jersey, Kansas, state motto, news, Sopranos

Give my regrets to Broadway

All right. Enough is enough. You're having a little trouble with your commute. We get it.

But it's not a national news story.

I think I can speak for the vast majority of North America when I tell the spoiled public transportation brats of New York that I'm tired of hearing about their problems all the time.

For the last few days in the news it's all "Transit strike snarls NYC for 2nd day"-this and Judge fines NYC transit workers $1 million a day"-that.

Well, here's a news flash for New Yorkers.

"Most of country has own problems to deal with."

Here in KC we've got a skyrocketing East-side murder epidemic, they've got wings falling off of airplanes in Miami, and let's not forget about the dire plight of European Union relations.

So sorry, NY, if I'm not that sympathetic with the fact that you'll have to walk a few blocks to get to that fancy Italian bistro. You're just going to have to deal with it. I mean, fer cryin' out loud, this isn't France.

tagged: New York, transit strike,commute, news, Miami, Kansas City, European Union

Black talk

Sunday night I watched an interview of actor Morgan Freeman on 60 Minutes. Not my usual Sunday night viewing fare, but I was too busy clipping my toenails to change the channel.

Anyway, Freeman made a comment that was spot on something that's been going through my mind a lot lately. Interviewer Mike Wallace asked the tough question about what Americans should do to end racism.

Freeman's answer? "Stop talking about it."

"I'm going to stop calling you a white man. And I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man. I know you as Mike Wallace. You know me as Morgan Freeman. You wouldn't say, "‘Well, I know this white guy named Mike Wallace."’ You know what I'm sayin'."”

I do know what he's sayin'. It pretty much goes against the politically correct left, that segment of society that says in order to respect other races we must make sure to recognize (label) them.

This is something that was on the forefront of my mind a few weeks ago when my alma mater announced a new head football coach. University bigwigs and media mouthpieces alike proclaimed that KSU's hiring of former University of Virginia assistant Ron Prince was a seminal moment in college sports.

Newspaper articles proclaimed "KSU hires black head coach" and "KSU makes Prince 4th black head coach." Columnists wrote about the great opportunity and pressure on this black head coach.

Unfortunately, the theme couldn't be around "KSU new young head coach" or "KSU's promising new head coach."

Maybe someday we'll get to a point where race truly doesn't matter, when there won't be any black Americans, Asian Americans, Latino or Hispanic Americans. Maybe someday, we'll all just be Americans.

But I think in order for that to happen, we'll have to take Freeman's advice and stop talking about it.

tagged: race, black, Morgan Freeman, 60 Minutes, KSU, Ron Prince

Glass half full (update)

Here's an update on the Nelson expansion I blogged about earlier.

Anonymous, you asked for more pics, so here are some shots courtesy of Matt the Architect. By the way, I love all of those quotes you're famous for.

Anyway, check these out...

tagged: Steven Holl, Nelson Atkins, art, architecture, Kansas City, museum

A little good news

It looks like the election in Iraq has been pretty successful.

"The heavy participation in the parliamentary voting by the Sunnis, who had shunned balloting last January, bolstered U.S. hopes of calming the insurgency enough to begin withdrawing its troops next year..."

"...But violence was light overall and did not appear to discourage Iraqis, some of whom turned out wrapped in their flag on a bright, sunny day, and afterward displayed a purple ink-stained index finger — a mark to guard against multiple voting. One jubilant Shiite voter in Baghdad proudly displayed all 10 of his fingers stained with ink."

It's nice to see some encouraging news from the middle east. I know a lot of people will say that this is meaningless and Iraq is a lost cause and the US has no business being there.

Maybe that's true, but we are there, and signs like this are at least hopeful.

tagged: Iraq, elections, democracy, vote, events

We interupt this blog...

Today marked the ninth day in a row when my morning bathroom "ritual" was interrupted by my supermodel wife and/or our 3-year-old daughter.

I guess when you're the only dude in the family (aside from our neutered dog, Dexter), you really don't have much privacy. Not that I need the privacy. But it would be nice to be able to look at my Playboys without being interrupted.

tagged: women, bathroom

Glass ceiling

So my friend Matt is one of the project architects for the new expansion of the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art. Because I have such a powerful and influential friend, I scored a private tour of the not-yet-completed expansion.

The new building, designed by well-known architect Steven Holl, has been the source of a fair amount of controversy in Kansas City. Some people object to his design, which uses hundreds of slabs of specially designed glass, saying it looks too much like a prefab metal shed and it's offensive to the grand old Nelson Atkins.

Others, like Tony from TKC, object on general principal to the idea of spending dollars on "cultural" projects, saying there's no benefit to the proletariat (his opinion).

My personal view is that this is going to be a kick ass building. It's a mistake to judge this book by its exterior cover. I was able to snap a few pics of the interior before my digital camera battery died, and let me just say it's pretty damn impressive.

The spaces and lighting will be amazing for the gallery and public areas below the "lenses." And the integration with the exterior landscape will only enhance the "sculpture garden" feel of the east side of the Nelson.

My prediction is that this building will become on of Kansas City's best landmarks.


tagged: Steven Holl, Nelson Atkins, art, architecture, Kansas City, museum

Ain't no Tin Woodman in Kansas

Dan at Gone Mild asked:

What in the hell is the tin man? I mean, lions and scarecrows are part of the world, but I'm unaware of mechanized woodmen roaming Kansas or anywhere else ...

Well, Dan, here's one person's answer.

It helps to keep in mind that the original The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was highly satirical criticism of the socio-political climate of America circa 1900. So, many of the characters were metaphorical representations of the groups and social classes of which L. Frank Baum was critical.

The following deconstruction is from Henry M. Littlefield.

In the book, the Wicked Witch of the East had kept the little Munchkin people "in bondage for many years, making them slave for her night and day." (pp. 22-23). Just what this slavery entailed is not immediately clear, but Baum later gives us a specific example. The Tin Woodman, whom Dorothy meets on her way to the Emerald City, had been put under a spell by the Witch of the East. Once an independent and hard working human being, the Woodman found that each time he swung his axe it chopped off a different part of his body. Knowing no other trade he "worked harder than ever," for luckily in Oz tinsmiths can repair such things. Soon the Woodman was all tin (p. 59). In this way Eastern witchcraft dehumanized a simple laborer so that the faster and better he worked the more quickly he became a kind of machine. Here is a Populist view of evil Eastern influences on honest labor which could hardly be more pointed.

So there you have it. The Tin Woodman was a metaphorical amalgamation of the working class who had been conditioned to work for "the man" (which in Oz was the Wicked Witch of the East) until he became more machine than man.

tagged: Wizard of Oz, Gone Mild, satire, books,literature