Friday, September 22, 2017

Nambia exambia

Say what you will about Pres. Trump. His ego is brobdingnagian. Of civil rights, he’s no champion. And as for leadership, well it’s clear his managing is more like mangling.

But I can tell you from personal experience that his endorsement of the health care system in Nambia shows great pansophy.

I’m not from Nambia myself. But I grew up in neighboring Pambia. As you know, the two countries have been close ever since The Nambia-Pambia Alliance Treaty of 1836. And I well remember as a young Pambian rambling through Nambia on autumnal visits to my Auntie Annie (herself a life-long Pambian). We would spend afternoons ambling around the expanding hamlets, and scrambling among surrounding brambles. We’d pass the P.M. with her prized pet panda, handing him samplings of salmon and jam.

Tramping back to her mansion, which had a commanding view or a babbling rapids in which I liked to do some angling, we’d spend a quiet evening chatting about things like traveling, gambling and her dazzling career in acting. One summer I even managed to scavenge some scaffolding and tackled the challenge of renovating her paneling.

Sadly, those days have passed. The housing crisis cramped her finances. No matter how much ranting and haggling she did, she couldn’t wrangle a way into withstanding the bankruptcy. She ended up abandoning and later dismantling the mansion.

But I’ll still have longstanding and everlasting admiration and gratitude for the mind-expanding understanding I gained from my time in Nambia. I hope nation’s leaders can channel the same compassion.

Friday, September 15, 2017

YouTube Tuesday: Paul McCartney — Rabbit Hole

It's been another crazy ass week around here. I'm sure you all know what its like. Kind of week that can leave you feeling all thin and stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.

That's why it was such a delight to see the new hit song by Sir Paul McCartney this morning. Just the kick of excitement and adrenaline I needed to hit the weekend at full speed! Kudos for Sir Paul for his new modern club-beat style.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

We have a complete dossier on you…

"It’s just a game," a friend posted on Facebook recently.

A rather sophisticated augmented reality game where you use your mobile phone to capture “Pokemon” in a mix of real and virtual worlds. But still, just a game.

"That's it. No, there really isn't anything more to it than that."

But of course there is more to it than that. I mean, it is a game, but it’s a game that regular people like you and me can’t win.

The real point of such games (as well as the "My Vocabulary Size Is.. " and "My Celebrity Lookalike Is.. " and "If I were a Star Trek Character I Would Be..."  Facebook games that you see every week), is for big data companies to find a way to get people to voluntary sign up for software that allows them to collect tons of data about them personally.

They then sell this data to the highest bidder (usually companies associated with digital advertising) and productize you and other people who behave like you and sell you to advertisers.

A lot of people don't care that they are being packaged and sold, it's been going on to some degree almost since the beginning of advertising. The difference these days is that the data collected is waaaaaay more sophisticated than the advertiser suspecting your between 18-45 years old and you really like Jackie Gleason’s brand of misogynistic bombast.

These days, when you opt in to this kind of data collection, you’re telling them precisely where you are (down to the latitude and longitude coordinates) and when. You’re letting them in on which websites you're browsing, what products you're shopping for, what physical malady you happen to be suffering at the time.

The level of insight that can be drawn from this kind of data, the predictions that can be made about your preferences and behavior, would make Miss Cleo soak her pants.

You might have noticed that over there in the right-hand rail of your Facebook page there’s an ad for that pair of shoes, or shorts, or maybe that vacation getaway that you were Googling earlier today. That’s no coincidence. The advertisers have you pegged.

Again, some people don’t care about that. MOST people don't care about that. Indeed, some people say “Good. I get ads for stuff I’m interested in instead of some dumb punch-the-monkey spam for a high-rate mortgage.”

And that’s cool. That’s all just fine. Buuuuuut…

I just think we should all have our eyes open to OTHER ways the data could be used. I mean, some companies (like Niantic in the case of Pokemon Go) say they won’t sell your data to third parties. I mean they promise and pinkie swear and everything. But let’s face it, when the going gets tough and the investors are at the front door with pitchforks demanding their exit strategies and returns-on-investment, who do you think is going to get sold out?

That’s right it’s you, me and all of our precious behavioral data. And even more troubling, who do you think we’re going to be sold too?

The paranoid among us would say “the NSA… or even scarier, some nefarious foreign spy agency!” But the reality is government agencies don’t need to buy data about you since they already have a direct tap into ALL internet traffic and are already constantly spying on you (thanks for the heads-up, Edward Snowden!).

Anyway, if you think government agents snooping through your Google accounts and sharing your naked selfies with each other is the worst that can happen, then my friend you suffer from a lack of imagination.

Here are a couple of more likely (and probably already happening) scenarios:

First, it’s probably difficult to overstate the amount of lifestyle data that gets collected about you, especially if you use a FitBit or similar activity tracker. From your physical activity, to your food interests, to your drinking habits, to how much TV/internet video you watch… all of that is being collected and packaged and is super valuable to companies that aren’t advertising firms.

For one thing, insurance companies (auto, health) love to learn all they can about you. Do you think they won’t use your own data against you to jack up your premiums and copays? Of course they will. And since Obamacare now means we’re all criminals if we DON’T buy health insurance, well, they pretty much have us by the short curlies, don’t they?

But there are other more nefarious abuses that are (probably) already happening. Imagine what kind of web browsing/lifestyle data is available on pretty much every old whit guy making laws in Washington, DC. Do you really think it’s beyond a company like Koch Industries, or Goldman Sachs or even Google or Apple to use this kind of personal data as “leverage” on key legislative measures?

Do you really think it was out of the pure consideration for the public good that nobody from Goldman Sachs was prosecuted for ruining the global economy a couple of years ago? Do you really think all of the highly technologically literate old white dudes thought the Digital Millennium Copyright Act was good public policy?

No? Me neither (and your staring to get it, good job!) After all, our senators and congressmen are only poor corrupt public officials. They have kickbacks to pay and mistresses to feed.

So, what’s the upshot here? I guess it’s just to say that whenever an app or program or web widget asks for access to your Facebook page, or Google account or Twitter stream, you should tell it to fuck right the hell off.

Or make up a fake internet identity and spam the system.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

YouTube Tuesday: Office Invention

In case you haven't heard, our good friend Joe, former proprietor of Hip Suburban White Guy, recently got a new gig at a new cube farm.

It turns out his new gig isn't as, well, demanding of his time. Which leaves him a few minutes throughout the day to focus his creative energies to solving humanity's pressing concerns... like finding a cheap source of perpetual energy.

He sent me this video of his latest scale model. Well done, sir!

Friday, April 08, 2016

Reflective Ruminations, by 3 AM

Reflective Ruminations for April 8, 2016

  • I think "beaver" is a terrible slang term to use for a woman's … adorable son in the late 1950s.

  • Some people look at a glass and say, "It's not half empty, it's half full." Then they get throat-punched by me.

  • Here's something they won't teach you in History class: GEOMETRY.

  • It doesn't really bother me when people say "et cetera," but I get really annoyed by people who say "et cetera, et cetera.

  • It seems like we're all putting a LOT of faith in the guy who came up with the original alphabetical order.

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

YouTube Tuesday: Toon time

If you weren't around in the '80s, or if you were but you weren't of cartoon-watching age, here's everything you need to know about every Saturday morning cartoon...

Monday, April 04, 2016

Initial results

Yes, Mr. Zimmerman, we've had our best people crunching through your data and I just wanted to schedule this quick call to present some of our initial findings. Please take a look at the attached spreadsheets…

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Cuban Reverie

An original composition from Three O'Clock AM
Cuban Reverie
The stage is set, now pay the price
High priests of holocaust, fire from the sea
Rise so high, yet so far to fall
Entrails in the sky
Entrails in the sky

One decree that stands alone

Chased up all the dead end streets
Like the walls are closing in
One decree that stands alone
Chased up all the dead end streets
Killing for religion

A book written by man
Make sweet the breeze now defiled

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

YouTube Tuesday: Arrow

Here at the beginning of the end of society as we know it, as technology becomes our master, as resources dwindle, as the thin veneer of civilization begins to peel back to reveal a reality in which we feast on our own kind… it's probably a good time to brush up on the skills that will allow us to eek out a miserable existence in the post-apocalyptic hellscape that will become our planet.

That's where the good folks at Primitive Technology are being so darned helpful. Check them out for all of your primitive tool tutorials such as Making Charcoal and Basket Weaving

And, of course, the exceedingly helpful, Primitive Bow and Arrow