Obama’s Public Service plan

Like 105% of the American population I've been in a constant state of euphoria for the past week or so, ever since CNN called the election for Barack H. Obama Superstar.

I think my record of rejoicing is well documented, so I won't go over all the reasons this is election is totally going to change the way policy and lawmaking are carried out in America.

In fact, I'm so eager to Change things that I've been spending a lot of time on the Obama website, just having hope and changing.

That's where I found this awesomely changing idea for compulsory Universal Voluntary Public Service. Here's one way we will create hope by integrating public service into learning:

Require 100 Hours of Service in College: Obama and Biden will establish a new American Opportunity Tax Credit that is worth $4,000 a year in exchange for 100 hours of public service a year.

I'm tellin' you. This is one of the best hope-creating ideas of the Obama administration so far. It's so easy, I can't believe we haven't done this already (well, we didn't have any hope or change before Obama, so I guess I can believe it).

Sure there will be naysayers who claim that you can't bribe people into giving a shit about their community, but I think those people underestimate the power of $4,000 a year.

And I did check the numbers. There are roughly 17.5 million college students in the U.S. So, at $4,000 per college student per year, this program would only cost seventy billion dollars a year, a small price to pay to force college students to volunteer.

Luckily, our national reserve of Hope has never been bigger. We have vast supplies of Hope stored up, more than enough to cover $70 Billion a year for college students.

tagged: Obama, hope, change, volunteer, college, Universal Voluntary Public Service

YouTube Tuesday: New National Anthem

At least the tune is already familiar to some people.



tagged: election, Obama, humor, national anthem, video, You Tube

Okay, I admit it...

...I'm not as eloquent as Dave Barry (but then, I don't look like Stephen King's harmless, decidedly un-evil and less popular little brother either, so I've got that going for me)

Here's some spot on-election coverage from Barry's Miami Herald column:

• Barack Obama is our next president, which is very bad because he is a naive untested wealth-spreading terrorist-befriending ultraliberal socialist communist who will suddenly reveal his secret Muslim identity by riding to his inauguration on a camel shouting ''Death to Israel!'' (I mean Obama will be shouting this, not the camel) after which he will wreck the economy by sending Joe the Plumber to Guantánamo and taxing away all the income of anybody who makes over $137.50 per year and giving it to bloated government agencies that will deliberately set it on fire.

• Or, John McCain is our next president, which is very bad because he is a 287-year-old out-of-touch multiple-house-owning fascist who will rape the environment and build nuclear power plants inside elementary schools and reinstate slavery and create tax loopholes that benefit only people who own three or more personal helicopters, after which he will declare war on the entire United Nations and then keel over dead and leave us with commander-in-chief Sarah ''Flash Card'' Palin.

hat tip to Donna.

tagged: Dave Barry, election, Obama, McCain, Miami Herald

Friday Blogthing: I have been analyzed

I'm reminded of the immortal words of Don Corleone who said:
"You can act like a man! [slap] What's the matter with you?"

Results:









We guess http://3oclockam.blogspot.com is written by a man (53%), however it's quite gender neutral.

tagged: Friday, blogthing, man, woman, gender, quiz, blog, meme

The more things change

I have said I'm disappointed in the reactions of people to this week's election (and the years of campaigning leading up to it).

I think I should note that I'm not necessarily disappointed in the outcome of the election. It was expected, and I frankly gave up caring about presidential politicians years ago.

But I had been holding out hope that there were more people out there who can see what's happening and care enough to be as upset about it as I am.

In reality, the American people don't want change. They want more of the same.

More government programs to take care of the poor means they don't have to take responsibility for the poor in their own neighborhoods.

More government takeovers of failing industries mean they don't have to deal with the fallout of their own poor decision making.

If we make the government responsible for our health and education, we can go on eating Big Macs and playing Grand Theft Auto 4 until our hearts explode.

We're not responsible for our actions because we are all victims.

I've come to the conclusion, due to lack of evidence to the contrary, that as a society we've reached a tipping point, a critical mass where the number of people demanding that the government do more will continue exponentially to outnumber the people who just want to be left alone.

We will demand more and more from our government in exchange for giving up more and more of our personal freedoms and responsibilities.

And don't kid yourself into thinking this is a Republican/Democrat thing. Both parties are pushing for the erosion of personal freedom, from the constitutional abuses of the Bush administration to the support of domestic spying by congressional democrats (including our president-elect).

Yes. It's a depressing thought.

There are very few options. Either accept it, join the crowd and try to get as much as you can, or ignore it and hope you and your children die before the government goes bankrupt and is bought out by Brawndo - The Thirst Mutilator™.

Of course, on the other hand it might be kind of cool to vote for Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho for president. Now THAT'S change we can believe in.


tagged: election, vote, politicians, change, money, Brawndo

Buddy can you spare some change

At first I thought it was very precious. So cute how everybody was all touchy-feely about what they had done.

It was kind of like being a parent watching the kids open presents on Christmas morning. They get so happy about some cheap plastic trinket that will be broken before the end of January.

You let them have their moment. It's so easy to please them and they don't know any better anyway.

But then I remembered that these aren't children. They're grown adults. They should know better.

I became increasingly disappointed as I read phrases like...

I don't think there was a dry eye in the room after Obama's speech.

I watched that speech with tears in my eyes. This is something that people will remember for a very long time. We’ll tell future generations about watching this election and I feel blessed to be a part of it.

This is the most important day in my over half a century on this planet..

This is something I don't understand. There are people out there who actually think "history has been made." Mature people, ostensibly rational people who should know better than to make decisions based on emotion. People who are old enough to have learned from the previous seven to 10 elections.

But aside from the fact that by definition history is made every day, the only thing remarkable about this election is that Obama is black.

For some people that's enough. Heck, for some people that's the only thing that matters.

As for history and the big "change" that everyone is expecting, I'm surprised that so many are so naïve to think that any real change will actually happen.

Politicians are still beholden to the money of special interests. With Obama, even more so.

They will promise the voters all kinds of new, expensive programs, inexplicably paid for by lower taxes. With Obama, even more so.

Sure, there has been a change in which party is in control of one of the branches of government. But to accept that as a real change, you have to convince yourself that there is a difference between the two parties, an accomplishment that takes a monumental act of self-deception and willful disregard of history.

It's like a Royals fan, believing each spring that their team will be in a pennant race at the end of the season despite years of evidence to the contrary. The difference is that despite the behavior of the vast majority of the electorate, politicians and news media, this isn't baseball.

If we want real improvement, we need to stop looking at national politics like it's a team sport or the latest season of Dancing with the Stars.

But we don't really want real improvement, do we.

My thoughts to be continued tomorrow...

related:

• Meet the old boss, same as the new boss
• The very model of a modern hypocritical
• Meet the old boss, same as the new boss (Part II)

tagged: election, vote, politicians, change, money,

YouTube Tuesday: A tree falls in the forest

Silly as it seems, I suspect this is how 90 percent of voters see their favorite candidates. This is about the level of analysis most people put into their decisions.

Ah well, at least I got a free burnt coffee out of my vote.




tagged: election, vote, coffee, Starbucks, naked campaign,movie, video, YouTube

Yachtsee

Now that Halloween is over, it's time to shift our attention to the next task: Christmas shopping.

That's right. Retailers are already putting out Christmas merchandise. And it's a good idea to get as much gift buying out of the way as early as possible. With only 52 days You don't want to be one of those poor schleps doing last minute shopping at the convenience store on Christmas Eve.

Luckily, I learned today that I'll be able to complete a major portion of my Christmas shopping in the next week or so when I buy my Supermodel Wife one of the coolest gifts EVAR!

I just read that former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's luxury yacht is now for sale.

I'm tellin' you, it's the perfect gift. Imagine sailing the Persian Gulf in the lap of the luxurious, 270-foot Ocean Breeze. It has too many swimming pools to count, numerous salons, mahogany furniture, big screen TVs, gold and marble accents and more.

There are ornate fountains, gold-tap bathrooms, whirl pools, steam rooms, and hi-tech bathrooms and enough opulent staterooms to sleep 28 people.

This little boat is replete with safety features as well. Cruising the Persian Gulf, for example, your likely to run into your share or pirates. That's where the built-in missile launcher and bullet-proof glass comes in handy

And, if worse comes to worst, you can always escape through the secret passageway to the on-board mini-submarine.

In your face, Dr. Evil!

Oh sure, maybe it does lack a helipad. But in this day and age, with the economy in the shape it's in, a helipad might seem a bit ostentatious. We're noting if not understated at the emawkc household.

And and at a paltry $35 million, this boat is a bargain!

tagged: Iraq, Saddam Hussein, yacht, Ocean Breeze, sale

Happy Halloween!

tagged: Halloween, jack o' lantern, picture, scary, skull, carving

Friday Blogthing: Mummy's the word

I don't think I can agree with this. I tend not to get too wrapped up in Halloween costumes.

You Should Be a Mummy

You are seen as exotic and mysterious. You keep people guessing. You see Halloween as a time that you can defy expectations and show a different part of yourself. You love to try to frighten people. You enjoy being a little creepy, especially on Halloween. You enjoy breaking taboos and challenging what people are comfortable with. If that's scary, so be it!

What Classic Halloween Costume Should You Wear?

tagged: Friday, blogthing, Halloween, costume, mummy, quiz, blog, meme