10 Things That Are More Important Than The Election

For months now -- actually years -- we've been hearing from all of the partisan Kool-Aid drinkers that the election in a couple of weeks is the most important thing EVAR in the HISTORY of the UNIVERSE!!!!!

And despite my repeated attempt to get through to the blinder wearers, it still seems like way too many people are deluding themselves into thinking that things will suddenly change when a new president is sworn in next year.

But, giving you the benefit of the doubt, I thought that maybe you just think this election is the most important thing in your life because you can't think of any other important things in your life. (No not you. I know you're smart enough to get it. I'm talking the other people).

So here's a list of 10 things (in no particular order) that are more important that who gets elected president of the United Sheep of America.

• Boycotting shoe stores
• Donating time and money to worthy causes like breast cancer research
• Dining at your favorite exploding steakhouse
• Avoiding the QuikTrip Ham and Cheddar on Pretzel Bread at all costs
• Becoming a better Booty Juggler
• Clearing out your DVR play list (SRSLY, you've had shows on that thing for weeks now that you haven't watched).
• Clearing out your gutters (really, you should catch up on all the home maintenance you've been putting off).
• Cleaning and lubricating your firearms in preparation for National Looting Day.
• Hiring washed-up quarterbacks for a never-was football team
• Pickling you peppers.
  

tagged: election, peppers, vote, change, gutters