Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Lame Dane

I never understood the whole Dane Cook thing.

Probably has something to do with me not being a 14-year-old girl, but I've never thought he was even the least bit interesting.

I watched his HBO special. And the few episodes of his Tourgasm so-called reality so-called show were nearly as painful to sit through as an Oprah home sex tape. Of course, that would at least be entertaining.

But Cook just isn't funny. He's up on stage, flailing his arms around like the monkey he is, twisting his face making fart noises -- and the kids are eating it up. I'm thinking to myself: "This is the next George Carlin?"

Well thankfully, I'm not alone. According to CNN, it turns out that Cook is to comedy what MySpace is to intellectual discourse. In fact, Cook is basically the Paris Hilton of comedy. He's a celebrity because he is a celebrity, not because he has talent.

He went out on MySpace, gathered 1.5 million very close "friends" and leveraged that to HBO for a comedy deal. Of course it helps to steal a few jokes along the way, to give yourself the appearance of legitimacy.
"Where are the ... jokes?" wrote Rolling Stone. "How can any comedian get this famous with no jokes?"
Indeed. I suspect this is another example of what Joel Mathis called "The end of pop culture."

Thankfully, it looks like most people over the age of 16 have realized Cook is all style and no substance.

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Meet the old boss, same as the new boss

From today's MarketWatch:

Wall Street, led by Goldman Sachs Group Inc., ended a 12-year run of Republican support by giving 51% of its donations to Democrats in this year's midterm elections.
Although I'm not sure I would call 51% a "lion's share," this does illustrate that all politicians are whores, and they are all in the pocket of some special interest.

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YouTube Tuesday: Super day at the office

I remember seeing something like this back in the late '90s with that BudLite "Whazzup!" commercial.

Aquaman rules in this one. Enjoy.



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Monday, November 13, 2006

Friday, November 10, 2006

Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes

You may have heard about a little election thing we had in this country earlier this week. With many incumbents getting thrown out of office across the nation, a lot of people are a lot happier.

There is now a 100% Republicrat majority in both houses of Congress. So, in an amateurish and ultimately futile attempt at punditry, here's my prediction of what will happen in the next two years.
  • The first to remember is that nothing will change. Extremist leadership of one color have been replaced by extremist leadership of another color. It's like replacing corn-based vomit with green bean-based vomit.

  • There will be no new legislative initiatives. The newly elected Republicrats weren't running on a policy agenda. They were merely telling the electorate to vote against the incumbent Repbulicrats. So no new ideas have been proposed, which is why nothing will change.

  • I totally agree with Gnade, who explained on Contratimes why we will still be in Iraq two years from now. Despite the crowing on one side of the aisle about how we never should have started a war in Iraq and we shouldn’t be there now, they want and need the war as a political fulcrum issue.

  • The price of oil will continue to go up. Probably by this time two years from now, you'll have to pay close to $4 for a gallon of gas.

  • The Royals will still be losing close to 100 games per season.
Well there you have it. Really not going out on a limb with these predictions. As that great American philosopher, Butthead, once said: "The more things change, the more they suck."

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Flight delay

The bad thing about sitting on a Midwest Express 717 at La Guardia for four hours while the maintenance crew tries to fix a leaky sink (yeah, right) is that my iPod battery doesn't last for four hours and besides, I wanted to save it for the actual flight back from New York.

The good thing about the delay, or at least the silver lining, is that I was seated next to Mrs. Salleh, a democrat in the finest sense of the word on a cultural leadership exchange from Malaysia.

Mrs. Salleh is a member of an opposition political party in Malaysia. She said the government in her country is still very oppressive, although Malaysia is quite a modern country. For example, according to Mrs. Salleh the current government has ruled Malaysia for the past 50 years since it became independent. But the ruling government controls all media and social programs, and thus only members of the ruling party have access to the media during elections.

Elections aren't regularly scheduled as they are in the USofA. They are called on the spur of the moment often with only a couple of days notice if any. And by law (of the ruling party) "campaign season" is only nine days. So opposition parties have nine days to organize a campaign, promote their candidates and get the vote out -- all without access to mass media.

I listened to Mrs. Salleh describe her situation and mentally compared it to the US system. I told her that there are some aspects of her system that could benefit the US. Surprise elections for example. If the parties don't know when the elections will be, then there would be much less pre-election posturing.

I also like the idea of a limited election window. Nine days isn't long enough, but I think a six to eight week campaign window would go a long way to mitigate the adverse effects of shady campaign financing and help level the playing field for opposition candidates.

We talked more about her impression of the American electoral process. She was particularly amused by the amount of celebrity endorsements of political candidates. I shook my head when she brought it up and told her how annoying such endorsements are to those of us who actually try to understand issues and policies.

She chuckled when I called Hollywood celebrities "dancing monkeys" and characterized their fans as pop-culture sheep.

We discussed other issues, too (we had four hours fer cryin' out loud). I shared (after she asked) my opinion on the true reasons for the war in Iraq. She discussed the difficulty of finding food in New York that met the requirements of Halaal (I told her she'll be SOL in KC unless she can find a Halaal BBQ joint).

In the end, a Christian and a Muslim, a Westerner and an Easterner, a man and a woman, a Republican and a Democrat, had a pleasant conversation without resorting to name calling, insults, harsh language, etc. We both professed the good points and bad points about our respective cultures. It was a genuine exchange of ideas.

And she even gave me a high-five.


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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Culture wars

One of the best snippets of dialog I've heard on network TV in a long time was on Studio 60 on Monday.

(to the best of my memory)
Harriet Hays: I don't know what the sides are in the culture war.

Matt Albie: Well, your side hates my side because they think we think you're stupid. My side hates your side because we think you're stupid.

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

YouTube Tuesday: Vote for Billy

I don't know about you, but the conclusion I draw from all of the candidates' political ads this season is that they're all preschoolers and they're trying to appeal to other preschoolers.

I mean, when will we have a candidate who acts like a grownup? I think there's more maturity in this ad for preschool class president.



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Monday, November 06, 2006

Back from the future

I just got back from tomorrow. I was just curious about how things were going to turn out, and since I can't stand to watch the so-called news on TV anymore I decided to call my good friend Mr. Peabody and get a preview.

When he arrived we hopped in the WayForward machine to get a quick glimpse of Tuesday's election results and their longer-term consequences.

And you know what? The Democrats were right.

I mean, I don't want to divulge any of the actual details and voting numbers. I've been told that such information could adversely affect the course of events, leading to a temporal chain reaction which would cause a rift in the very fabric of space-time.

But there is one observation I want to report. The Democrats were right about the voting machines and they have been all along. There were/will be many Democratic victories, but it will turn out that they were all due to voter fraud and hacking of Diebold voting machines.

As it turns out, a group of liberals at Princeton University had been working for months on a way to hack the voting machines to steal votes. They were doing this under the guise of "research" and only in "lab" conditions.

Unfortunately, the scheme was discovered and many of the votes from tomorrow's election were thrown out. This of course led to mass protests and demonstrations which eventually turned violent. And when the first shot was fired at... oh but wait, I've probably said too much.

Anyway, have a great election day. I've got to go home and pack up some supplies. I'm taking the family on an extended vacation in our cabin in Montana.

PS -- Tony, I had a quick message from you. I'm supposed to tell you to take the blue pill, whatever that means.

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

Feeling nostalgic

You remember the good ol' days, when cigarette advertising was straightforward, misogynistic and targeted at children?



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