Monday, November 30, 2009

Gravity check

So I'm cruising easily down the K12, the quadruple black diamond run at the exclusive ski resort where our family traditionally spends our Thanksgivings.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the snow was... well, sitting lightly on the mountain side. It was truly bucolic and I basked in the bucolicness as I passed through 20, 30, 40 miles per hour down the mountain.

I was basking all bucolic-like when suddenly I saw out of the corner of my eye a little white snow bunny dart out from behind a tree, right into the path of my slicing skis. It was only my expert skiing ability that saved the delicate rodent creature from certain decapitation, as I executed a triple-axel-reverse-front-gainer to avoid dealing the death blow.

But as bad luck would have it the tip of my ski lightly clipped an overhanging spruce limb, throwing my equilibrium off just enough that I landed slightly askew on my left foot.

The pain was instantaneous as all my weight combined with my downward and frontward momentum transferred and compressed on my left ankle. I heard a sound like the cracking of knuckles, and while I remained upright on my skis, I made the rest of the run down the mountain in severe pain.

Yeah. That sounds pretty good. Pretty heroic and not at all stupid like the actual true story.

You know, the actual true story where I decided not to wake up our six-month-old daughter, instead carrying her to the nursery to sleep. Then, since I was carrying her and unable to see where I was going, I don't realize when I get to the bottom step of the staircase that there is actually one more step to go.

Then I step out to walk down the hall, but there's no floor there and I end up tipping forward, landing on the side of my foot, having it fold under my ankle and hearing that tell-tale knuckle-cracking sound that (I find out three days later) is also the sound of foot bones fracturing.

Yeah, falling down the stairs is totally lame.

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  1. Not to be pedantic, but rabbits are lagomorphs, not rodents. ;)

    Otherwise, I'm totally willing to claim to have witnessed this selfless, lagomorph-saving ski maneuver... As long as you're willing to swear my bruised shoulder came from shoving a puppy dog out of the way of a speeding car, and not from mis-judging the width of a door frame.

  2. Whatt's an ankle?

    The important point is that baby girl never touched the ground.

  3. Smeddley,

    I think you and I are thinking of completely different kinds of snow bunnies.

    But I got yer back, man.

  4. Nick,

    The girl never even woke up, thanks to a heroic tuck-and-roll maneuver on my part as well as a several-inch-thick layer of cushioning fat (also on my part).

  5. so how long do you have to walk on your spare foot

  6. Nuke's right...Way to take one for the team and not fumble the baby! Hope you feel better soon!

  7. Fumble the baby...

    I would have killed the bunny!


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