Bullitt list -- 12.10.09

Today's category: Really?!?!!

• Alright, I've got a lot to say to say and not much time to say it. I'm starting on the other side of the pond, but believe me there's more later about our own effed up country. But before we get to that...
  
  Really, East Africa? Really!???
  
  The AP reports that more than 10,000 East African albinos are in hiding after more than 50 African albinos have been killed since 2007.

  The mistaken belief that albino body parts have magical powers has driven thousands of Africa's albinos into hiding, fearful of losing their lives and limbs to unscrupulous dealers who can make up to $75,000 selling a complete dismembered set.

  In the latest reported killing last October, "albino hunters" beheaded a 10-year-old boy and cut off his leg as well.
  
  Can someone explain to these people what century it is? I thought we got past this witch doctor crap and moved on to the violent racism crap.


• Next, on to the UK...
  
  Really, Leeds University? REALLY?
  
  You're seriously advertising a job that pays a guy to go to strip clubs and conduct "research"? According to the ad "prior experience of conducting research in the female sex industry" is essential.
  
  So again, really? No, seriously, really? 'Cause I might be interested in a new gig. Do you pay for relocation?
  
  
• Oh, and while we're in Europe, really Italy? REALLY? Why give up centuries of tradition for a mere boost in worker productivity.
  
  The Italian Program Minister (really?) is urging Italian workers to give up the traditional 2-hour mid-day lunch break to increase the country's productivity.
  
  Now look. I like Italy. It's one of my favorite countries. I find the culture fascinating, and lazy workers and corrupt public officials are part of the culture.
  
  Besides, I think Italian productivity may be a bit overrated. Do we really need more $500,000 cars and $50,000 dresses? I mean, really...
  


• Okay, bringing it back home now. You guys remember when liberty used to mean something in America? Yeah, me neither. But it seems like there was a time when it was more than just a punchline in an election year stump speech.
  
  Well, those days (if they ever really existed) are long gone as evidenced by two recent events.
  
  Last week a Chicago woman was tossed in jail when a couple of short segments of the movie New Moon were captured on her video camera as she taped her sister's surprise party.

  Managers contacted police, who examined the small digital camera, which also records video segments, Cmdr. Frank Siciliano said. Officers found that Tumpach had taped “two very short segments” of the movie — no more than four minutes total, he said.

  Hey, I'm not advocating pirating movies. But really?? We're going to throw people IN JAIL?! without a trial? For taping a birthday party?! REALLY?!?! Why not just go ahead and tattoo a serial number onto her forearm while you're at it?
  
  And science help you if you decide your waitress doesn't deserve a tip. Theft charges against John Wagner and Leslie Pope have since been dropped after they were arrested for refusing to pay a $16 gratuity for craptastic service in a Pennsylvania bar.
  
  But the fact that you can get arrested and carted away to the police station for not paying A FRIGGIN' TIP? Really?!! Do the police/restaurant owners know what a gratuity is?
  


• Finally, if you need any more evidence that our country has reached its cultural nadir, reference yesterday's ridiculous Barbara Walters Special. I mean, really. This show gives new meaning to the word "special."
  
  According to Walters, the most fascinating people of the year include Kate Gosselin, Adam Lambert, Laddie GaGa (I can't believe I just typed that), Glenn Beck and Sara Palin.
  
  Really.
  
  What does it say about a person when they can be fascinated by such vapid pop culture personalities. I wouldn't even know who these people were if it weren't for their ability and eagerness to self-destruct in public.
  
  Fascinating?! Really!??? This is the best our culture can do? There's no scientific, medical, literary or artistic accomplishment we can point to? You're telling me we're stuck with "pa-pa-pa-poker face, pa-pa-poker face," as our crowning cultural achievement this year?
  
  Come to think of it, that sounds about right.

tagged: Bullitt, African albino, Leeds University, strip club, Italy, culture, Tumpach, New Moon, pop culture, Barbara Walters, Lady GaGa, Kate Gosselin, Adam Lambert, Poker Face