Monday, March 22, 2010

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...

The gnashing of teeth and rending of clothes is still happening today as KU fans cry in their coffee and try to get me to understand just why the Jayhoax are so awesome.

It's happening in the office, but also all over Facebook, Twitter and the rest of the Interwebs as well. And I have to thank my KU Fan friends. It's been a long time since my schadenfreude tank has been this full.

Though he's not the only one, Shane is a typical (if a bit verbose) example of KU fan's inability to get what's going on outside the KU tent.
As a KU fan, you have to expect a fair amount of ribbing from your K-State and Mizzou friends when you lose. The general tone of others when KU loses is usually harmless enough, but today, it seemed like the vitriol was downright nasty. I don’t understand it. ...

The majority of KU haters that I talk to (mostly on Twitter) say that the main reason that they hate KU is that we act entitled. I don’t get that.
Well, as a long time KU hater, I relish this opportunity to drop a some learning on my KU Fan Friends (KUFFs) like a last second Ali Farokhmanesh 3-ball.

At this point, I think its appropriate to point out that the term "hate" here is used only in the context of good-natured sports rivalries and is thus probably a misuse of the strict definition of "hate." In reality, I don't really think there's anyone or anything that I really truly "hate" -- with the possible exception of all so-called "reality" TV. I think the word "hate" is overly used in our culture. To find real hate, you probably have to go to the Middle East, or to a small isolated area of Topeka.

That is to say, it's not really "hate," it's spectator sport hate.

There are more reasons to hate KU and it's fans than there are STD-infected KU sorority girls, so I obviously can't list them all here (there's not enough room on the entire Internet).

The so-called "entitlement' Shane mentions above is pretty low on the list. There's that idiotic Rock Chalk chant. Waiving the Wheat, the fact that KU takes credit for "inventing basketball" even though James Naismith created the game while he was working in Massachusetts, the hypocrisy of claiming Wilt Chamberlain as a hero even though he was severely discriminated against while at KU.

Of course, there's the ever present smugness that we non-KU fans have to endure every freakin' year. Even when the Jayhoax predictably lose in one of the first rounds of the NCAA tourney each year, we still have to hear about "why does everyone hate us..." (you can't tell, but I'm rolling my eyes). And SNYDER HELP US if KU "actually WINS a championship. Criminy! You'd think they simultaneously found a cure for cancer, brought peace to the Middle East and invented a cold fusion battery that allows your cell phone to keep a charge for three days straight.

Of course the inability of KU fans to realize that not everyone is or wants to be a KU fan is one of the reasons that we despise you so.

But for me, the biggest reason to hate on KU, is their rich history of cheating, getting caught, and having no consequences. From hiring highly recruited players' dads as coaches, to paying for students to take tests for players, KU athletics is built upon a lack of institutional control. As the NCAA Committee on Major Infractions put it
"Major violations occurred in the men's basketball program from 2002 through 2005. During that time frame, a representative of the institution's athletics interests supplied cash, transportation, clothing and other benefits to two men's basketball student-athletes. The athletics representative befriended one of the young men while he was still a prospect, buying him clothing and meals and transporting him to a number of the institution's men's basketball contests. ..."
So, maybe I'm a little too harsh on the KUers. But I just think hating on a team because they're cheaters is a better reason that hating on someone because of the way they spell their name.

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  1. Touche (rhymes with douche without the accent).

    All good points. Except maybe this one: From hiring highly recruited players' dads as coaches...


    Believe me, I know that there are implications that come with being a KU fan. Frankly, it's safer to be a K-State or MU fan because the expectations are so low. I guess I'd equate it to being a Yankee fan. Still, all KU fans are not the douches that everyone thinks. At least I'm not. I think...?

  2. A coworker of mine watched the game at the Other Place in OP. When KU lost, some guy was so upset that he picked up his mostly uneaten pizza, threw it in the trash and stormed out without paying his bill.

  3. "Frankly, it's safer to be a K-State or MU fan because the expectations are so low."

    Ditto this. I fell into a KU fandome because when I moved here from California back in 1996, I befriended KU students and alumni faster than any other group. Mostly through a work relationship that turned into a friendship. Had I become friends with K-State alum, or Mizzou alum, life would be infinitely less fun for me around football and basketball season, I think. But that doesn't make me dislike them, per se. (Well, at least not the K-State fans I know. The Mizzou fans tend to suck more than any other I've ever known, outside of Cal fans. Cal fans are just awful...)

    It all comes down to it being just a game, really. If people could remember that, then maybe there wouldn't be a need for any level of vitriol, this post included.

  4. "...being just a game, really. If people could remember that, then maybe there wouldn't be a need for any level of vitriol, this post included."

    But where would be the fun in that?

  5. As someone who has made a joke or two at KU's expense on my blog I can say exactly why KU fans are the worst. They don't get the joke. It's really about the most annoying thing in the world to explain that something's a joke. It's not that a couple of KU jokes have slipped by, no, every time there is a KU joke, I have a comment or two that calls into question the truth of my joke. Going so far as some Lawrence jerkoff wrote to us to say that he would pull all his links to the blog if we didn't pull all the KU jokes off the blog. We didn't, I don't know if he followed through, I don't really care. The only other joke that ever caused a stir was a German Holocaust joke (that was damn funny).

    Have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Have a little humility. We're all assholes, some of us can laugh about it though.

    Oh yeah, #IfuckingHateKU

  6. Wow, I hadn't heard the civil rights and ethical arguments against KU. :)

    I will say this - the worst-behaving KU fans tend to be people who never actually attended class there. They're fans of KU because they're frontrunners, and like the frontrunning fans of any team (Yankees, Red Sox, etc.) they're insufferable.

    And while we admittedly lack some self-awareness as a group, Mizzou fans are off the charts. I saw multiple Mizzou people talk about ordering UNI shirts after they beat KU...which would be akin to KU fans wearing a Bucknell or UTEP t-shirt.

    K-State fans? I really don't have a single negative word to say about them. And I'm not just saying that because I'm on a K-Stater's blog. I think most KU people agree that they're simply good fans.

  7. interesting post. i guess we learn something new everyday.


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