The Case of the Missing Pants

Xavier Onasis makes a solid point about a lawsuit filed by the father of a drunk driver who was killed because of his drunk (and possibly high) driving.

But believe it or not, that's not the most ridiculous lawsuit in the news these days.

Consider this story from (big surprise) the Washington, D.C., area:

A customer got so steamed when a dry cleaner lost his trousers that he sued for $65 million. Two years later, he is still pressing his [law]suit. ...

..(T)he problem began in May 2005 when Pearson became a judge and brought several suits for alterations to Custom Cleaners in Washington. A pair of pants from one suit was missing when he requested it two days later.

Pearson asked the cleaners for the full price of the suit: more than $1,000.

Now, we've come to expect this kind of idiocy from the Jerry Springer set. But the idiot plaintiff in this case was a freakin' JUDGE!!!

And it gets better...

... (T)he cleaners have made three settlement offers to Pearson: $3,000, then $4,600, then $12,000.

But Pearson was not satisfied and expanded his calculations beyond one pair of pants. Because Pearson no longer wanted to use his neighborhood dry cleaner, he asked in his lawsuit for $15,000 -- the cost of renting a car every weekend for 10 years to go to another business.

Manning said Pearson somehow thinks he has the right to a dry cleaner within four blocks of his apartment.

The bulk of the $65 million demand comes from Pearson's strict interpretation of Washington consumer protection law, which imposes fines of $1,500 per violation, per day. Pearson counted 12 violations over 1,200 days, then multiplied that by three defendants.

But a week later, the Chungs said the pants had been found and refused to pay. Pearson said those were not his pants, and decided to take the Chungs to the cleaners and sue.

I'd like to give this judge the benefit of the doubt. I'd like to think he's doing this to set an example of how bad these frivolous lawsuits are becoming.

But as a judge, he should know better. There is enough abuse in the legal system already, and everybody knows it.

Thankfully, a large segment of the public is behind the real victims in this case. Attorneys for the South Korean immigrant owners of the dry cleaners have been inundated with donations to help the Chung's pay their legal defense costs. A defense fund has been set up at www.customcleanersdefensefund.com.

Now, how do I donate to the fund to get that judge disbarred?

tagged: South Korean, cleaners, judge, Jin Nam Chung, Roy Pearson, frivolous, lawsuit

Friday Blogthing: Hasslehoff

The other day, a friend told me to "hasslehoff" during a bit of good-natured ribbing. After having a good laugh at the expression, I decided I'd better figure out how I would, in fact, "hasslehoff" if the need ever arose.

Luckily, the interwebs once again came to the rescue.

Cult Icon Hasselhoff You are Hasselhoff, the Cult Icon. You revel in your enigmatic and confusing popularity – moreso in the positive aspects of it than the confusing or unclear parts. You are the shining star of the world: more specifically, of Germany. Someday, you will be featured in a ticker-tape parade. Someday! Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

tagged: quiz, David Hasslehoff, humor, Friday

Gastro congressional disorder

While they're hard at not-work not-proposing a plan for dealing with Iraq, our new reps in the House have passed legislation to distract us with a useless investigation into gas prices.

The bill is sponsored by the dramatic Bart Stupak, D-Mich.

The bill's sponsor, Rep. Bart Stupak, D-Mich., said the legislation would help stop "the truly outrageous prices we are seeing at the gas pump," The Detroit News reported.

"Today, every member has a choice," said Stupak. "Side with big oil or side with the consumers who are being ripped off at the gas pump."

The "us v. them" black and white view point makes for good copy and emotional rhetoric. But like the legislation itself, is merely a distraction.

First of all, the prices aren't "outrageous."

A diagram in the June issue of Wired Magazine shows that "even when prices hit near-record levels in the US, American drivers get off cheap compared to European motorists."

Londoners, for example, were paying $6.65 and gallon for petrol when the article was written. Parisians pony up $6.52 a gallon, and Romans forfeit $5.62 to fly around in their Fiats.

What seems to be getting stuck in Stupak's craw is that companies are making money from selling gasoline. Can you imagine!?! A corporation profiting from doing business! The impudence! The shear audacity!

Look, the reason petroleum companies are charging more for gasoline is because they can, because consumers are paying for it. There are signs that we (consumers) may be reaching our limit, but I still see hundreds of people commuting to work in SUVs and giant pickups with nobody but the driver inside.

Americans don't really care about the price of gas. Not yet. Sure we may grumble. And Stupak and other politicians will try to score political points off that grumbling.

But the way to beat high gas prices is to change our behavior. When we really start to care, we'll buy more efficient vehicles and use more public transportation or maybe ride a bike once in a while.

A congressional investigation sure as hell won't do any good. I suspect Stupak knows this. This looks more and more like a wedge issue. A way for Stupak and Co. to make a meaningless gesture and then point to political enemies as being "in favor of big oil and against the little man."

So tedious.

tagged: oil, gasoline, gas prices, peak oil, Stupak, drivers, petroleum

Wired on the Bloch

In case you haven't seen it yet, Wired magazine features the the new Bloch Building at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in its June issue.

Sonia Zjawinski gives a two paragraph overview of the challenge of the design and the solutions that architect Stephen Holl came up with.

Of course, burying a gallery under 8 inches of sod could make for a dark, dungeon-like environment. So Holl came up with an innovative skylight system: five giant cubes of glass that jut above ground, channeling natural light into the 840-foot-long gallery (equivalent to a 70-story skyscraper laid on its side). These light boxes, along with strategically placed partitions and computer-controlled window screens, ensure the 220 permanent pieces look their best — and are unharmed by UV rays and the greenhouse effect. Jackson Pollock's paintings are drippy enough.

For those who haven't been in, or seen pictures of the interiors, there is a good illustration of the way the shape of the interior walls redirect natural light to the galleries below.

You can also review pictures I have previously posted. Also, the opening of the new building is only about two weeks away. Check out the schedule of planned activities at the museum's blog.

tagged: Nelson-Atkins, museum, art, Bloch Building, Stephen Holl, architecture, Kansas City, culture

Priceless works of art

I have become the proud owner of this latest work by my absolute favorite local artist.

"Friendly Alien" 2005

I'll leave it to more sophisticated art critics than myself to do a detailed critical analysis of this piece. But just try to tell me that this doesn't have echos of a budding Picassoesque genius.

tagged: art, Picasso, family, kids, drawing

some revelation

I've had some of these phrases stuck in my head since The Sopranos took a stab (pun) at artsy-fartsiness last Sunday.

The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all convictions, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all around it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

-W. B. Yeats

I don't really have much to add in terms of commentary. I don't mean to be maudlin. Certainly I'm more upbeat about the future than Bill B. Yeats was after World War I.

I think the phrase that's sticking with me in particular is "The best lack all convictions, while the worst/Are full of passionate intensity." That seems to be particularly descriptive of bloggers, no?

tagged: poetry, William Butler Yeats, World War I, The Sopranos, culture

3 A.M. Poll: Your favorite Shakespearean insult

I thought I'd take a stab and a little marketing research and ask the two or three readers here for a some polling data.

Hopefully I'll make this a regular thing. Hell, it might even be fun.

We're going to get this started with today's question: What is your favorite Shakespearean insult?

If it's not on this list, choose the last option and add your favorite as a comment.

Got an idea for a future poll question? Email it to me and I'll post it next week. And remember, it's all in good fun.

P.S. -- The entries for today's poll were all taken from actual Shakespearean plays. Anyone care to take a stab at naming them?

tagged: poll, Shakespearean insult, humor, fun, marketing research

Is that a frog in your pocket?

Professor Paul has posted this week's Kansas Guild of Bloggers carnival over at The force that through...

This is a great roundup of what's going on in the Kansas blogworld over the past week and really showcases a diversity of views. Go read it and then consider submitting a post for next week's carnival, which will be hosted by John B. at Blog Meridian.

tagged: Kansas, blog, blogger, carnival, KGB

YouTube Tuesday: I held out as long as I could

If there's any program that is consistently successfully satirical as The Simpsons, I don't know what it is.

The show has been around for 20 years and they haven't lost their edge.


tagged: movies, YouTube, video, TV, Simpsons, Kent Brockman, satire, media, government

Monday Bloody Monday

"Concrete steps and faces don't mix too well," said Dr. Obvious.

It was the summation of a series of events that had started about an hour earlier as I was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair. My Supermodel wife had excitedly burst into the bathroom holding a 4-year-old with a mouth gushing blood.

In the bustle of a Monday morning routine, the 4-year-old had followed her mother to the basement where fresh clothes hung ready for the work week. Clothes retrieved, the mother had asked repeatedly for the child to come upstairs and get ready for school

The final, most urgent "request" got the 4-year-old to react. But the hurried footsteps slipped, or tripped, sending the child mouth-first into the concrete steps.

Blood spewed (it always seems to spew in cases like this) from a gash inside the lower lip and the gums of the top incisors. It was all accompanied by howls of pain which we would learn is actually a good sign, an indication (along with no loss of consciousness) that there was no concussion.

We applied a cold press while I finished getting dressed. The dose of children's ibuprofen had kicked in by the time we arrived at the urgent care center.

The kiddo was a good patient and allowed multiple people to poke and prod and feel. The diagnosis was a "minor laceration" to the inside of the lip and a slight abrasion on the outside. No sutures needed.

The aforementioned incisor was loosened. The dentist later predicted that, while the tooth is fine, there will undoubtedly be some discoloring which will go away when the permanent teeth come in.

So how was you're morning?

tagged: family, crisis, bloody, teeth, accident, injury, Monday