half staff

tagged: flag, half staff, 9/11, Sept. 11, photo, anniversary

Bumper? Hell I just met her.

The panicked squeal of the dog was followed instantly by the sound of something dragging behind my car along the gravel driveway.

I immediately stopped, fearing the death (or at least serious dismemberment) of one of my parents two Labradors. The two dogs, one a highly intelligent jet black lab named Rain and the other a chocolate lab named B.U.D. (acronym for Brown Ugly Dog) had run across the driveway as we pulled in for a Labor Day visit.

I had slowed down to let them pass before continuing to a parking place. I knew that as long as Rain was the leader, everything should be fine. B.U.D. was a different story. He couldn't be trusted to make good decisions.

I'm not sure how much in-breeding there is in his questionable lineage. I just know that in the parlance of rural Kansas, he's dumber than a bag of hair.

So when I heard the loud canine yelp and the dragging sound from the rear of the car, my first thought was that I was going to have to perform an act of euthanasia on a half-wit dog that had decided to lay down under my car.

I actually felt sorry for the poor beast as I shifted the car into Park, and I wondered how I would explain this to the five-year-old dog lover in the backseat.

My entire perspective changed when I saw what was lying on the ground behind my car. The plastic bumper (which is actually the bumper cover) was torn from the driver's side, just behind the rear tire, across the back of the car and was dangling by a few plastic clips on the passenger's side rear.

A chocolate Brown Ugly Dog, was sitting nearby, dumbly drooling and wagging his tail, seeming almost proud of the destruction he had caused. It didn't take the intelligence of a black lab to quickly size up the situation:

The two dogs had run across the driveway in front of my car. But B.U.D. was latched to a dog cable, probably due to his severe stupidity to keep him from roaming the countryside and running out to greet oncoming semi trucks on the highway a quarter-mile away.

So when he crossed the driveway, he took the cable attached to his neck with him. My car tires rolled over the cable -- front tires first, then rear tires. As soon as the cable cleared the rear tires, the dog pulled tight on the line. It became stuck on the rear fender and easily pulled the entire bumper cover off the car.

What I initially took for a yelp of panic, probably was a yelp of triumph. A canine half-wit's way of saying "Hurray, look what I did!"

So after a few minutes of suppressing my cursing reflex, I made the call to AAA. I gave them the info, they said get and estimate on Tuesday and they'll cover the cost of the repair (after I pay my $500 deductible, of course).

So it takes a couple of weeks for the body shop to get the parts in and get the work done. I'm supposed to pick up my car with a shiny new bumper cover today, and I'm only out $500 bucks.

Oh, and just to prove that God's Irony Ray was aimed squarely at me, this all happened the week after we made the final payment on the car.

Hilarious.

tagged: car, accident, bumper, dog, body shop

It's what this election is all about

tagged: election, politics, media, graph

YouTube Tuesday: TrueBlood

With all the excitement, no wait, that's not the right word, let's try this... With all of the tedium caused by the Barrack McCain and John Obama campaigns, my Supermodel Wife and I opted to watch different and more entertaining blood suckers on Sunday.

We watched the premier of the new HBO series TrueBlood. From Alan Ball, the creator of Six Feet Under, the series is set in a world where a synthetic blood equivalent allows vampires to "come out of the coffin" and demand equal rights with mortals.

While it wasn't a thrill a minute, it was an order of magnitude more interesting than watching the vampires on the political stage suck the soul out of America.



tagged: HBO, True Blood, television, video, YouTube, pop culture

I need your advice on something

So I'm in the market for a new mobile phone.

It's been a long time since I've had a gadget upgrade of any kind, so I'm looking around for a device with a few more bells and whistles. I need want to get one of those "smart" devices where you can get your email, your calendar and to-do items, surf the web, stalk Scarlett Johansson using the built-in GPS functions, etc.

You know, your basic starter mobile device.

Anyway, I've been shopping around for a few weeks and it looks like I have a decision to make. There are essentially three smart phone software systems to choose from:

1) BlackBerry: One of the originals. This technology is famous for the effective "push" email technology that allows quick and easy access to your work and, more importantly, personal email.

2) Palm: One of the other originals. Known for its PDA software. I think this has a "fetch" email reader rather than a "push" email reader like the BlackBerry, but I could be all wrong about that.

3) Windows Mobile: I don't really know anything about this other than it comes from Microsoft and nobody ever has any problems with Microsoft products.

Actually, I don't really have any real experience with any of the products, other than I used a Palm PDA device years ago before they were connected to phones (I had a Handspring Vizor). Not sure how much the software has changed since then.

That's what I need you guys for. Have you used any of these? Do you recommend it? Any pros? Cons? Easily accessible pornographic material? I just need to know the important stuff here.

tagged: technology, help, BlackBerry, Windows Mobile, Palm, mobile, device

Friday Blogthing: with a fine Chianti

But maybe a Pinot Grigio would pair well with the pesto.

You Are Spaghetti with Pesto

Compared to most people, you have complex tastes. You're a bit of a walking contradiction. You like a little bit of everything, even if the things you like don't go together. You aren't picky at all. You can find something to like about almost anything. You don't judge on appearances alone. You like to experience something before you judge it.

What Pasta Dish Are You?

tagged: Friday, blogthing, pesto, pasta,, Chianti, Spaghetti, quiz, blog, meme

Joe's thoughts

I love this point by Joe Poz in his post today:

Why is it that whenever any politician gives a good speech, the announcers say they “hit it out of the park.” Now, I want to say something to Wolf Blitzer and the rest speaking only as a sportswriter: You know how hard it is to actually hit a ball out of a park? It’s REALLY hard, OK? I mean, it happens at Fenway and Wrigley but that’s because of those park’s dimensions. If you want to say, “He hit that one out of Fenway” … OK, fine.

But hitting it out of the park suggests a titanic bomb out of Yankee Stadium. And, it should be noted that no Major Leaguer EVER hit it out of that park. None. Not Mantle. Not Ruth. Not DiMaggio. Not Reggie. None of them. Now, it is said that almost 70 years ago Josh Gibson hit it out of Yankee Stadium (though it should be noted that it is also said that Josh Gibson once hit a fly ball that didn’t land until the next day).

And this is my point. Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, Hillary Clinton, MIke Huckabee (I’m not exactly a Hucka-disciple, but I have to say I think he gives a terrific speech), these people might have hit HOME RUNS. But for “out of the park,” you need a Josh Gibson blast that is so incredible it may be true and may be myth. I say no American politician has hit it out of the park, since, I don’t know, maybe Abe Lincoln in Gettysburg a long time ago.

I guess if TV "journalists" had any creativity, they wouldn't be TV "journalists."

tagged: politics, sports, media

Biden my time

OMG Peopls! Can you believe the temerity of those REPUBLICANS!

Holy CRAPS! Trying to pull the steel wool over the eyes of the American voting public by putting a WOMAN on the presidential ticket.

Who the HELL do they think they are! Who do they think they're fooling.

I'm telling you, this is the best thing that can happen for us DEMOCRATS, as if we need any help. I mean our OBAMA express is rolling. Change is inevitable. CHANGE we can believe in!

My good friend and POLITICAL Siamese twin Xavier Onassis naield it today:

Think about this people. Who would you rather have a heartbeat away from the presidency? Sarah Palin? Or Joe Biden? I can't believe there is any question about this.

Are you kidding me? There IS no question. We can't have a WOMAN in the vp seat. We need to stock the cupboard with dudes, the older, richer and whiter, the better.

You can at least count on them not to get PREGNANT while in office.

I mean, as a rabid liberal I'm all for being progressive... up to a point. But when it comes to Hillary or Palin, well, let's be reasonable here. If we can't rely on them to keep their kids from getting pregnant, how the hell can we count on them to do whatever it is the vice president is supposed to do?

I think we all know how much of a disaster a post-menopausal chick would be in a high office. Hell, look how Nancy Pelosi has run the House into the ground. Worst Congress EVAR! Thank you Mrs. Pelosi!

These REPUBLICANS are so dense. Don't they get that we ALREADY rejected a woman being on the Ballot when we chose Obama Christ Superstar as our Candidate?

Unbelievable! And now they think we're actually going to even give this Palin chick a chance. PUHLEEEEZZE!!!!

Rich, old, white Joe Biden is the kind of change this country can believe in.

NATCH!

tagged: politics, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, Vice President, election

Random Photo XIV: mellow

Our five-year-old was incredibly bored during the Labor Day barbecue contest we were helping out with the other day. So to give her something to do, and get her out of the way for a while, I gave her our digital camera, showed her how to use it and sent her off to get some pictures.

Looking at the results later, I found it interesting to see the world through the eyes of a five-year-old again. You're at waist level to everyone. I'd forgotten how big everything looks when you three feet tall.

Three or four pictures even stood out a particularly good compositions and interesting perspectives on ordinary objects. This abstraction is one of my favorites. The crop and composition are all hers.

tagged: photo, Labor Day, barbecue, yellow

Separated at birth

Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin ...


... and fictional NBS writer Liz Lemon:



tagged: Sara Palin, Liz Lemon, Tina Fey, Separated at Birth, election, pop culture