Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts

Monday, March 07, 2016

How d'Ya Like Them Apples: Empire

I think by now it's pretty well accepted by society at large that the only variety of apple worth eating is the Honeycrisp. So tasty, so crispy... I could (and have) live off of these sinfully delicious fruits for extended periods.

But since Honeycrisps aren't always in season (if you can find them around town this time of year, they tend to be smallish and blemished), and since I'm always keeping any eye open for the next big apple trends, I went out of my comfort zone the other day and picked up a couple of Apple varieties I haven't tried yet.

Today's taste test: The Empire.

The Empire looked good in the produce section: Deep red, shiny and smooth (much like my Russian friend). It was about the size of a baseball with no blemishes. A promising start!

From my extensive, Google-based research which I conducted over the past six minutes, the biggest benefit of the Empire is that it doesn't bruise easily. You can see why this would be good, since bruising is the path to the dark side. Bruising leads to rotting, rotting leads to anger, anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

But I suspect that the resistance to bruising also leads to the apples being harvested too soon, shipped too far and kept on shelves too long.

The sample I had tasted kind of like an apple, but it was a weak, faded apple taste. Like, if it were a coloring book, you kid (or office mate who is really into those "grown up" coloring books) only colored part of the picture and they used the very palest colors. It was like an old-timey, staticy recording of an apple taste.

So, the taste was just kind of meh. Not bad necessarily, but not the explosion of flavor you get from the Honeycrisp, the gold standard of apples.

What was bad was the consistency. When I bit into the Empire, the consistency of the fruit was kind of a cross between dry and chalky, and dry and mushy. Try to imagine dry oatmeal shaped into apple from and slightly moistened with apple-flavored water. Then you take a bite and it just has no resistance to your teeth at all.

 So, bottom line here is that the Honeycrisp is still the reigning champion of apples. It wasn't even close.

The Empire strikes out.

Thursday, February 07, 2013

Graze anatomy

It's not something I talk about, but I'm not afraid to say that I'm not nearly the man I used to be.

You see, a couple of years ago I went through a weight-loss regimen. I never really got the hang of political correctness, but I believe the proper term for my body-type was "fatus-boombalatus," and I'd come to that point in my life where you've gotta either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'... Aw hell, it wasn't all that dramatic. I just wanted to see a lot less of myself.

So I did. I dropped about 40 lbs and never looked back.

I didn't really want to make a big deal about it, and I still don't. So I'm not going to go into the whole process right here/right now (maybe some other time). I only bring it up by way of introduction of what I do want to discuss.

You see, part of getting rid of 20-percent of myself was eating smaller portions but higher-quality food. Of course if you're consuming fewer calories, you want to get more from each individual one. So you look for good ways to eat nutritious food.

Well, a few weeks ago I stumbled across a Tumblr post about a new service/web startup called Graze. This service married my passion for being lazy by shopping from home over the internet with my passion for eating delicious low-calorie snacks.

Well, here's how they explain it:


So I like what I see, and I sign up to pay five bucks a week for a box of healthy snacks that get sent to me in the mail. Sounded like a good deal to me. I mean, I spend more than that on coffee each week.

About a week ago we get the first shipment. (which was free, btw. Yeah, your first and fifth boxes are free when you sign up. Sweet!).

When you enroll for the service, you pick the four snacks you want included. For me, the toasted pistachios were a no brainer (FTW!). I also opted for a dried raisin/apple/almond mix ("Eleanor's Apple Crumble"), and a Fruity Mango Chutney (with black pepper dippers).

I also got the "Yin & Yang" a mix of almonds, raisins dried cherries and chocolates. I'm not crazy about chocolate, but I thought the women in my life might like it. (I was correct, of course).

All of the food is really tasty, especially the apple stuff which  was gone within a matter of hours. And all of the portions are low-calorie (the one with the chocolate was 217 calories for the entire serving).

I can hear you asking... "But, hey. You ordered food through the internet? Was it any good?"

Well, when the box arrived, I opened it and put on the dining room table. Between me, my Supermodel Wife and two daughters, it was empty within two and a half days. So, yeah it was good.

Looking forward to the next box coming in this week. There's a kind of granola bar-type snack that I'm eager to try out.

Anyway, if you're looking for a nutritious, low-cost and (most importantly) lazy way to get good snacks, check out Graze. Since they're sill in a beta soft-launch, you'll need an invitation code. You can use mine if you want: TNPZWDP

If you sign up, let me know what snacks you tried and what you think.

tagged: , , , , , ,

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Ode No.2 To A Honeycrisp Apple

Another short poem to my favorite breakfast food, as inspired* by Robert Frost.

The way a bro
Brought in for me
A Honeycrisp
From yon Hy-Vee

Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I'd rued.


*And by "inspired" I mean "plagiarized"

tagged: , , , , , ,

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Parents as marketers

I've been doing this parenting thing for a few years now, and I'm getting pretty proficient at it (if I do say so my damn self).

Now, I don't claim to be as good as everybody. Certainly I'm not as good as my own parents, but then few are.

But as far as I know, all of my children still live under my roof, and most of them still have most of their digits (which is more than I can say for myself). None of them have intentionally set fire to anything (that I know of) and we don't seem to be having any Mountain Dew Mouth trouble as of yet.

What I'm trying to say is that, so far things are going as well as can be expected, and I've picked up a few tips and tricks along the way.

The one I like to highlight today is one that many marketing and advertising professionals use all the time. It's about product positioning, and I'll illustrate it with this quick anecdote.

Our two-year-old is in a finicky stage. There are only a couple of foods she'll eat, and since I'm in charge of breakfast on a daily basis, this sometimes irritates the crap out of me. I mean, I'll go to all the work of preparing a delicious bowl of instant oatmeal only to have a budding food snob turn her nose up at it.

So I've been trying different breakfast items to see what works. At the super market the other day I picked up a box of Kix cereal, reasonably healthy because it doesn't have added sugar (which is toxic, by the way). Yesterday, I poured a few of he corn-based pellets into a bowl and set it in front of her for breakfast.

Of course, she would have none of it. One look at the pile of cereal and she handed me a stink eye along with a sharp "No! I want yogurt!"

Now I know most of you don't put up with this kind of attitude from a two-year-old, and you shouldn't. I don't either. I made sure to get an apology before providing a bowl of plain vanilla yogurt, her favorite. But knowing that a key to getting you're little house apes to eat different foods is just getting them to try them, I came back a few minutes later with a small handful of Kix in my hand.

I made sure she was watching when I popped a couple in my mouth and made the "Mmmmmm!" sound and said "Wow, these tiny little cookies are delicious!"

Key piece of information here: The girls is very familiar with the concept of cookies. She's tried them. She love's them. She would probably exist (for a few short years before dying of childhood diabetes) solely on them if we let her.

And of course, the mention of "cookies" got her attention. She tentatively took one of the little round pellets from my hand and popped it in her mouth. Then she grabbed the rest and ate them all. Next thing you know, she's going back to that bowl of the "cookies" and chowing down.

You see, it's all about Placement. Big Cereal does this all the time, using cartoon characters and high fructose corn syrup to get children to eat toxic substances.

As a parent, I'm just flipping the script on them. Using the same kind of marketing tactics to trick my kids into eating something less unhealthy.

And that's, one to grow on…

tagged: , , , , ,

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Another million dollar idea to start out the year

Lots of people know that I come up with a couple of brilliant million-dollar ideas each quarter. It's just part of what I do.

Whether it's indicator plastic wrap, cargo-style dress slacks, or my excellent idea for Tixaqyll, each and every one of these gems is guaranteed to be solid gold.

Well this year the inspiration came early as we were watching some generic New Year's Day football game. We began mocking all the advertisements pushing special deals on gym memberships and special meal plans to help people loose those extra pounds and keep their New Year's resolutions.

And as conversations go, one thing led to another. We talked about how people should just start exercising more instead of sitting around watching generic New Year's Day football games. You don't need a gym membership, do you?

That's when it clicked. Combine something that people need but don't want (in this case exercise), with something they love but don't need, i.e., sitting on your ass watching a big screen playing mindless programming.

Put them both together and you get… The Gym Theater.

You know how AMC has been building out their Fork and Screen concept? Where you go and have a real meal at a table and everything while you watch the latest lame-ass chick flick?

Well this is kind of the opposite of that. Instead of sitting there watching Zack Galifianakis while you eat your way toward looking like him, you instead hop on a stationary bike or treadmill or elliptical machine and burn a few hundred calories.

Sure, you might need to provide audio jacks for headphones or ear buds or something to overcome the noise of the machinery. But from what I understand, people typically listen to iPods or something while they work out anyway.

The beauty is that theaters could sell this as a monthly membership fee deal, so they would be locking in a regular revenue stream.

Okay, AMC. There's the idea. I'll let you take this one and run with it. But I think a finder's fee of 10% is reasonable and customary, right?

tagged: , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Ode to a Honeycrisp Apple

A short poem to my favorite breakfast food, as inspired* by William Carlos Williams
I have eaten
the last Honeycrisp Apple
that was in
the fridge

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
it was delicious
so sweet
and so juicy
*And by "inspired" I mean "plagiarized"

tagged: , , , , , ,

Friday, November 12, 2010

The Groupon Paradox

I was having a quick lunch with a few of my closest friends a few weeks ago when the conversation wound around to the topic of Groupon.

I'm sure that by now, most of you are aware that Groupon isn't some kind of 1970s lingo for a swingin' good time. The social buying service has been around since 2008, and it's become a popular method of local advertising and deal hunting for today's cash-strapped consumer.

But for you nifty neophytes, the basic premise is that a business will agree to give a deeply discounted price on a service or product in exchange for a guarantee that a certain volume of that product or service will be purchased.

For example, today's deal was a 50% discount on carpet cleaning from a local service company, but only if at least 50 people bought the deal. As of this writing, they had sold 257 of the deals.

So you can see that for the savvy shopper, you can save a lot of money on some useful and neat stuff.

Except, there's a bit of a flaw in this plan, at least for me.

The first (and only... so far) time I bought a Groupon deal was when a new bakery in my neighborhood advertised a special. Natasha's Mulberry & Mott (which is fantastic, by the way) was selling $10 worth of pastries, coffee, ice cream or whatever for only $5. You could buy three of the Groupon's for a total outlay of $15 for thirty bucks worth of fancy pants breakfast.

Which is what I did. And apparently a lot of other people thought this was a great deal as well since they sold 1,451 of this particular Groupon. A little quick math puts the total take for Natasha's at a cool $7,255 American in just a few hours.

It was a few weeks before I made it down to the bakery to cash in on my deal. I printed out the receipt and stopped by on my way to work one morning. When I opened the door, there were about half a dozen people queued up in front of me.

And here's the thing: They all — every last one of them — were holding the same kind of Groupon receipt that I had. When I first noticed this, I kind of smiled ironically to myself. "Heh, we're all cheap bastards aren't we?"

But as I waited in line and watched everyone peruse the bill of fare, make their choices trying to get as close a possible to the $10 spending limit and then watch the harried woman at the check-out counter perform acts of mathematical heroism to get any additional money owed by the patrons, I just became more and more uncomfortable with my own cheapness.

After all, I don't need $10 worth of pastries. I don't even need $5 worth. Truth be told, my doctor would prefer I eat a bowl of oatmeal or an apple for breakfast.

And dire as the financial times are, I don't really need to save $5 on the pastries that I shouldn't really be eating in the first place. Don't get me wrong, we're not rolling in caviar and champagne. But we're gainfully employed and sticking to our financial plan, so if I wanted to drop a Hamilton on some expensive coffee and croissants it's not going to break the bank.

When it comes down to it, the only reason I bought the Groupon in the first place was because I could get for $15 something that I perceived to be worth $30. It was like getting free money.

But as I had time to stand there and stew in my guilt, I realized that another way to look at it was that I only bought the Groupon to screw the owners out of $15 worth of food (food that I don't particularly need).

When it was my turn at the counter, I ordered the items I'd been considering while waiting. Then I deliberately ordered a little bit more so that I ended up paying more than the five-dollar bottom line on my Groupon coupon, just to prove that it's not all about getting free stuff for me.

I've still go two more to cash in, and I'm sure I'll do it before they expire in January.

But the guilt will probably kill me.

tagged: , , , , , ,

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Can able

A few years back my favorite convenience store chain, QuikTrip, removed 12-ounce cans of soda from their coolers.

Oh sure, they still stocked the big 12 packs of 12-ounce cans, but you couldn't buy a single, cold 12-ounce Mountain Dew from the refrigerator case anymore. Coupled with that, they also removed the 12-ounce cups from their soda fountain.
So, if you wanted to buy a nice refreshing soda beverage, basically had to commit to drinking 22 ounces of carbonated sugar water to quench your thirst and spike your triglyceride levels.

Round about this same time, I noticed that the break rooms where I work removed virtually all of the 12-ounce soda options from the vending machines. You basically were limited to Coke or Diet Coke if you wanted a 12-ouncer.

So yeah, it sucked. I basically chalked it up to another conspiracy hatched by the soda-industrial complex designed to force us to buy more MellowYellow than we actually want. It's just another step in making Americans fatter and lazier and easier to manipulate when leading them to the slaughter.

Now fast-forward to a year or so ago when I started to see small cans of soda appear on supermarket shelves. Finally, I thought, some of my domestic sleeper operatives in key government regulatory agencies are getting something useful done (aside from the "substance abuse and promiscuity" of some of my agents. I tell ya, good help is hard to find these days).

Now I don't want to take all the credit for soft drink makers putting these more reasonably sized portions back on the shelves. I think it's important to give credit where it's due, and I'd like to encourage the bottlers to sell these smaller 7.5 ounce cans in more locations, including the vending machines in my office.

There are several good reasons why they should.
For one thing, most of us don't want to drink 20 ounces of soda at a time. If you're like me (and god help you if you are, you poor bastard), you typically leave about a third of the soda in a typical 20-ounce bottle unconsumed, only to throw it away when you get to the office the next morning.

This is just wasteful. Forget about the number of plastic bottles that are littering the landfills and creating a floating island of plastic out in the Pacific Ocean, do you know what all that acidic, carbonated sugar water can do to your office trash can when it spills in there? It's a gawdawful mess is what it is!



And then there's the whole nutritional side of things. Not only do we not want a whopping 20 ounces of soda, we shouldn't drink that much anyway. It's just not good for you.

Granted, we all have to drink soda because of the addictive additives used by the secret cabal of high-fructose corn syrup producers (of which Ted Turner is the reigning imperator, btw) to control the population. But it's a well known scientific FACT that we don't need more than about six ounces to maintain our minimum levels of mind-control substances. Anything beyond that and you're just adding weight around your middle. And nobody needs that. Am I right, people?

But there is one reason, above all others, why we need to keep these "mini" cans on store shelves. There is one benefit above all, one advantage beyond the health and environmental advantages, of buying these 7.5-ounce cans.

I love the way they make me feel like a giant when I'm holding one.

They're just so darned cute!


tagged: , , , , , ,

Friday, January 15, 2010

Celebrity chef to visit KC

I'm no foodie but I like food and do eat. I also read. And I read something about eating that I thought I'd pass along to you people who are foodies (You know who you are. Always eating at restaurants and watching food TV).

The Shawnee Mission School District's culinary arts students ("culinary arts"!?? In my high school we had "home ec") will hit the kitchen with "world renown Mediterranean food expert" Gregory Zapantis next week at the Broadmoor Bistro.

Personally, I've never heard of Zapantis. I don't watch the Food Network, or Americas Next Top Chef, or Culinary School Survivor. I used to watch Iron Chef when it was the overdubbed Japanese version. That was some funny cooking.

Anyway, apparently Zapantis is a bigshot New York chef who specializes in Greek seafood
Zapantis’ passion for Greek flavors and deep knowledge of fish seasons, textures, boats and even the special techniques used by fishermen throughout various parts of Greece, has earned him 2003 “Best Chef Mid-Atlantic” by the James Beard Foundation, among many other honors.

Zapantis was born and raised in the Adriatic fishing village of Skala, on the Island of Cephalonia, Greece. Coming from a long line of Greek fisherman, Zapantis’ love of fish was sparked while learning to fish with his father.

It was at his family’s dockside tavern, however, where his mother and grandmother allowed him to cook and his passions really took flight.
Zapantis will be at the Broadmoor Bistro on Jan 19. Unfortunately the evening is already sold out. Guess I should have told you guys sooner.

tagged: , , , , , ,

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Bianco

It was a minor special occasion in the 3AM household yesterday, so we decided to pop open a special bottle of the special wine we've been keeping in our wine cabinet.

(We have a wine cabinet because we're neither hoity nor toity enough to have a wine cellar. Although, to be fair, our wine cabinet is in the basement...)

The wine wasn't expensive and it wasn't really exotic. Not a vintage that you would find on a list of the World's Most Famous Wines.

What made it special was that we bought the bottle of Avignonesi Bianco during our tour of Italy way back in 2001. It was our last big trip as DINKs. The last time my wife and I threw in with our "gang" our hang-out friends, cashed in our frequent flyer points and took off to show the bella vita in Tuscany.

And what a great trip it was. From arriving in Paris, the overnight to the Ligurian Coast, then two and a half weeks soaking up all of the art, culture and fermented Tuscan grape juice we could stand.

One of the biggest highlights of the trip was a totally spontaneous and unplanned trip to the Avignonesi winery. We just dropped in, unannounced, and were treated to lunch and a tour by the manager and daughter and of one of the owners. we left a couple of hours later with a couple of cases of wine.

One of the last bottles of which we opened last night.

The Bianco di Toscana is what the Tuscans would call a table wine. A blend of Chardonnay and Sauvignon Blanc, it's meant to be enjoyed immediately. As I pulled the cork, I was concerned that we had waited too long to drink it. It's been nearly 10 years since it was bottled, after all.

But it held up from the first sip. The color was more golden that I had remembered and the flavor was excellent, pears and some apricot. A buttery flavor emerged after 15 minutes or so. The it paired will with the tilapia fillets we had for dinner, and even better with the Honeycrisp apples we had on the side (though it was absolutely retched with the Chocolate Teddy Grahams we had for dessert).

Anyway, the point is it was a great eventing with the family, made even more special by reliving good times.

I still recommend any of Avignonesi's offerings. Though I don't think they make the Bianco anymore, if you can find their Rosso and especially their Vino Nobile go ahead and pick up a couple of bottles. You could do a lot worse.

tagged: , , , , , ,

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Random Photo XVI: You say tomato, I say it's about freakin' time

Way back in the days of yore, about the end of April, I invested twenty bucks in some potting soil and a couple of those TopsyTurvy upside-down tomato planters.

It was springtime. My mind was full of dreams of July when I would be picking fresh, vine-ripe tomatoes and eating them right off the plant while they were still warm from the heat of the summer sun.

But then a few storms hit. My tomato plants were pummeled with rain, the new vines broken. Sure, they recovered. Tomatoes are hearty plants. But the combination of spring abuse and a relatively cool, cloudy and wet summer meant that it wasn't until late September that I would be able to enjoy the upside down fruits of my labor.

But they are still delicious.

tagged: , , , , , ,

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Getting ethnic

One of the best benefits of living in a city (as opposed to a cave, where I grew up) is the opportunity to experience life and culture from the perspective of someone else.

That opportunity, combined with Saturday's amazing weather and a strong desire to avoid doing yard work led us to hit up the Ethnic Enrichment Festival at Swope Park.

It was a great time, and like I said, the weather couldn't have been better. I don't know if it's because of global climate change or what, but it's been incredibly unseasonably pleasant around here this year.

There were about a babillion booths at the festival, and I think we visited all of them.

Since we arrived in the late afternoon, one of the first orders of business was finding something to eat. This isn't difficult in the least. Just pick out a booth and stand in line for a few minutes. I chose to stick with my own Scotch-Irish heritage and dine on some bangers and mash from the Scottish booth (unfortunately, they weren't giving out any Scotch whisky, dammit).

We had dessert pastries from the Scandinavian tent. The powdered sugar dusted pancake balls were a big hit, as were the various fruit Danishes we sampled. Of course, later in the evening I treated myself to a mystery meat skewer and an ice-cold coconut from the Thailand pavilion.

But most of our time was spent waiting in line at the Pakistan booth where a talented artist was offering Henna tattoos for a small fee.

Our six-year-old daughter was determined to wait as long as it took to get one on her hand. Seriously. We waited a looong time.

I distracted myself briefly with trip to the privies and a brief stop to watch a group of Slovenian (I think) musicians perform some traditional tunes.

It was well after dark when we left. And although I felt culturally enriched, the food and the clutch full of trinkets left my wallet a bit lighter. But I think we got our money's worth.

tagged: , , , , ,

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Moving the bar

When we moved into our current house a couple of years ago, it didn't take us long to discover O'Neill's.

Not like it was hidden or anything. It's just up the street from our house, less than a 10-minute walk.

We quickly became regulars. Not so much for the food -- it's good food, slightly above most "bar food" fare, but not out-of-this-world. And not only because of the proximity, although the quick walk is a definite plus.

I think it has more to do with the atmosphere. There's a full bar, but the place is friendly and very family oriented. And even though a majority of the clientele are, well, let's just say "retirement age," the place has always reminded me of what I imagined the Regal Beagle from Three's Company to be like. So it's got that nostalgic quality.

That's the background for why I felt initially shocked and dismayed when I saw the noticed taped to the front door of the restaurant when we went there for lunch a couple of weeks ago. It was a notice that looked sadly similar to many of the other "damn the economy's tough and we're going out of business" notices that you see a lot of these days.

Fortunately, while I was getting my harakiri knives ready, I read a few more paragraphs and saved myself the embarrassment of public self-disemboweling. Turns out, O'Neill's isn't closing for business, just relocating.

And the even better news is that they're moving across the street to the east -- a bit farther, but still close enough to walk.

Here's the text of the notice (just to put your mind at ease):
After nearly a decade in Prairie Village, O'Neill's Restaurant & Bar has finalized a deal to jump east across Mission Road to Ranchmart North Shopping Center in Leawood.

It will operate at it's current location at 4016 W. 95th St until August 22, ending its tenure there with a big party.

The new location will allow it just one more table in the restaurant/bar area but also enough space for a party room and an outdoor patio.

A mid-September opening is planned with nearly the same Irish pub décor as the current location and the same menu - from Irish pot roast to Bayou pasta to steak or codfish sandwiches to soups and salads.

"This is one of the best neighborhoods," said Brian O'Neill Schorgle, owner of O'Neill's. "O'Neill's will be the same as before but better."

Walgreens will take O'Neill's current space, going corner to corner with the new CVS pharmacy store under construction at Ranchmart South Shopping Center.
So crisis averted. We get to keep out O'Neill's, albeit another block away, and we get a new Walgreens (whatevs) to boot.

tagged: , , , , , ,

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Awkward Pie: Lunchtime casualty

I really felt bad about it. I hadn't meant to shoot the guy in the back. He didn't even seem to notice the thick, red, coagulating liquid that was oozing slowly down the back of his shirt.

It was identical to the liquid strewn across my own face and neck, like a slash wound from a sweet-tangy scimitar.

As I apologized to the gentleman, a spry fellow of some 80 years or so who was probably a regular customer at this particular IHOP, I myself was trying to recover from the tragedy, reliving the previous few moments which in hindsight seemed to happen in slow motion.

It all started when the IHOP waitress delivered our lunch, part of which was our 6-year-old's cheeseburger with fries. Me being the Awesome dad I am, I grabbed the ketchup bottle to dispense a blob for the kid's dipping pleasure.

And like every experienced ketchup pourer, I take the usual precaution of shaking the ketchup bottle to mix in that watery ketchup juice that always perks it's way up to the top of the bottle (a substance I call "ketchup tea" and it's just as disgusting as it sounds).

This is were it all goes badly awry. Someone, some diabolical joker or lazy loser, had left the cap of the ketchup sitting on top of the bottle, but unscrewed.

The upshot: When I gave the bottle a couple of vigorous shakes, the lid flew off, followed by ketchup spewing across the table, across my face and neck, and across the back of the gentleman sitting behind me.

As I apologized profusely to the guy, I realized he wasn't upset at all. In fact, as patrons at other tables observed in shocked entertainment, the fellow actually wanted to have a conversation about the event.

He seemed like the kind of guy who would get a lot of mileage out of this story with his friends at the coffee shop, the barber shop and everywhere else he hangs out with his geriatric homies.

But as much as I was sorry for the ketchup massacre, I still had lunch to eat and I was getting grossed out standing there with ketchup all over my face, neck and shirt.

I cut the old guy off in mid-reminisce and made my way though the lunchtime crowd to the restroom where I took off my shirt (luckily I was wearing a t-shirt underneath) and used a healthy helping of paper towels and soapy water to wash the rapidly ripening ketchup from my head and neck.

We finished our lunch in relative calm. As we left, I shot the guy a final apologetic look.

He winked and said "At least it wasn't mustard."

tagged: , , , , ,

Friday, April 24, 2009

Cupini's

Finding good economic news these days is about as easy as finding a chick at a Star Trek convention.

Even in my lower-upper-middle class neighborhood in the JoCo, several businesses haven't been able to ride out the rough times and have had to close (a restaurant and a camera shop).

That's why it was a nice surprise last week when, during a trip to the local grocery, I saw a new restaurant open in the shopping center at 95th and Mission Road.

I took the family to Cupini's the next night. The Italian deli has been a hit in it's other locations around the metro, notably the Westport spot that we're familiar with. We arrived at about 7 p.m. on Wednesday evening, and the house was packed with a pretty long line up to the counter.

If you've never eaten at Cupini's before, you should expect a deli-style experience. You walk up to the counter, give your order, then go grab a table or booth and wait for your order to be delivered. A lot like Jason's Deli.

The long line was good for two reasons. One, it showed me that this is already a popular place and that a lot of people like the food. Two, it gave me a chance to look through the extensive menu of pastas, sandwiches, pizzas, salads, soups and all of the options and combinations thereof.

Unfortunately, it eventually became apparent that the staff was still shaking down their kitchen routines. The wait in line began to feel a little long, and I found myself ordering about 10 minutes after it felt like I should have.

After finishing the order I joined by Supermodel Wife and kid back at the booth the had staked out. Again, the combination of a kitchen staff in training and a super busy restaurant made for a rather long wait.

I think the long waits will be temporary and go away after a week or so. Luckily, the wait staff was very friendly. They stopped by to chat, recognized out kindergartner was starving and offered some complimentary bread sticks.

We also exchanged friendly words with fellow diners, all of whom seemed to be happy with the restaurant and patient with the opening week snafus.

The food itself, when it arrived, was delicious. I had the Chicken/Prosciutto Tortellini. It came as a large portion with a cheesy tomato sauce. The noodles were perfectly cooked and the prosciutto/chicken filling was delicious. My Supermodel Wife had a custom pizza. I don't remember the toppings she chose, but I do remember that it was delicious two day's later when I ate it as leftovers for lunch.

Cupini's also serves breakfast. I haven't sampled any of their breakfast sandwiches, though we did grab a blueberry scone to take home for breakfast the next day. It kept well overnight, so I'm hoping to hit them up for a more substantial breakfast in the future. Hopefully I'll have better luck that my neighbors.

tagged: , , , ,

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Playing ketchup

One of the things that's kind of disheartening about the recent economic bump in the road we're all trying to get through is how cavalier people are about throwing around such astronomically huge numbers.

A billion dollars here, a billion dollars there. Pretty soon, your actually talking about real money.

In fact the government so far has committed $11.6 trillion in financial support to failing businesses (banks, auto companies, insurers, mortgage brokers).

Now, $11.6 trillion doesn't really sound like a lot when you say it like that. I mean, sure it sounds large, but c'mon a 't' is much smaller than an 'm' or a "b" -- right? And besides "trillion" has kind of a pretty sound to it. Kind of like a bird singing.

When you write it out numerically, it has a little more impact: $11,600,000,000,000. Whooo! Look at all those zeros!

But I don't think even writing out all of those zeros gives a really good picture of just how much $11.6 trillion is.

To get a better picture of just how large of a number 11.6 trillion is, I like to convert it into a unit that is a little more familiar to regular working class Joes like me. That's right, I like to think of it in terms of tomatoes.

Your typical household garden variety tomato is about 10 centimeters in diameter. So line up 10 of these sweet, juicy bundles of tastiness, and you're looking at 100 centimeters worth of tomatoes. That's one meter for those of you who are products of the Kansas City Missouri school system.

At 100 tomatoes to the meter, you need 10,000 tomatoes to make a kilometer. This is nice to know, because now you can compare the number of tomatoes in various distances. For example, the distance from my house to the Boulevard Brewing Co. tasting room is about 16.25 kilometers. That's a distance of 165,500 tomatoes.

Of course, 165,500 is infinitesimally small compared to 11.6 trillion. So let's think a little larger. The great state of Kansas is 340 kilometers wide. So line up 3,400,000 (3.4 million) tomatoes side by side and you'll get from KC to Hayes and then some. But it's still only a fraction of the 11.6 trillion.

The United States is about 2,600 miles (from New York to San Francisco). That works out to roughly 4,184 kilometers. So you'll need 41,840,000 tomatoes to get from sea to shining sea. But $41.8 million doesn't even cover the mortgage on Bernie Madoff's second house.

Gotta go larger. Gotta think globally.

So, the circumference of the Earth at the equator is about 40,080 kilometers. Converted to tomatoes, that's 400,800,000. So if you had 401 million tomatoes, you could line them up all the way around the world. That's a pretty big number, but you'll note we haven't even reached a billion yet, let alone a trillion.

Earth to the moon is roughly 363,300 kilometers (at perigee). That works out to 3,633,000,000 tomatoes. So if we line up 3.6 billion tomatoes side by side you'll have a row of veggies stretching to the moon. That's a lot of marinara, but we've still got four decimal places to go before we reach the kind of numbers the bailout architects are talking about.

Going out a little farther, the mean distance from Earth to the Sun is 149,300,000 kilometers -- 1,493,000,000,000 tomatoes. Now we're getting some idea of just how large a number like 11.6 trillion is. Consider this, if you had 11.6 trillion tomatoes, you could line up tomatoes side to side and this resulting line of tomatoes would reach from the Earth to the Sun.

In fact, you would have enough tomatoes to make SEVEN lines of tomatoes from the Earth to the Sun. And you would still have millions of tomatoes left over!

So yeah, 11.6 trillion? That, my friends, is a lot of tomatoes.



tagged: , , , , , ,

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Guacamole

This public service message goes out to Chimpotle, who is known to combine foods in very disturbing ways.

.

tagged: , ,

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Salmonberry

Note to the coffee shop/sandwich bar in my building: If you keep the blueberry muffins in the same refrigerator case as the poached salmon salads, what you get is a blueberry-salmon flavored muffin.

And it's not as tasty as it sounds.

tagged: , ,

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Buy you a drink?

If you ask me, there's not much better than knocking off work early on a sunny, fall Friday afternoon and tossing back a drink or two with Jack and Larry down at the Regal Beagle.

One of the things that could be better than that, is if the drink or two (or four) is free premium Scotch whisky.

I got the tip from my local wine and spirits store that their sister location is having a free Scotch tasting from 4 to 7 p.m. this Friday (Oct. 17).

The tasting is at The Beer Cave Wine and Spirits. It's at about 87th and Farley in Overland Park, near the Johnson County Library.

From what I heard the other day, Scotches on the tasting table will include Dewar's White Label, Dewar's 12, Jim Beam, Glenmorangie and more.

And, as if free samples aren't good enough, the bottles featured in the tasting will be available at a 10% discount.

So I'll be there around 4:30 or 5, let me know if you want to meet me there. I'll buy the first round.

tagged: , , , , , ,

Friday, September 05, 2008

Friday Blogthing: with a fine Chianti

But maybe a Pinot Grigio would pair well with the pesto.


You Are Spaghetti with Pesto



Compared to most people, you have complex tastes. You're a bit of a walking contradiction.

You like a little bit of everything, even if the things you like don't go together.

You aren't picky at all. You can find something to like about almost anything.

You don't judge on appearances alone. You like to experience something before you judge it.


tagged: , , , ,, , , , ,