Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday Blogthing: Twilight zone

I think I need to find a 13-year-old girl to tell be who Edward Cullen is and interpret the rest of this for me.

"Inner pain and self-loathing"??? Sheesh!

Your Result

Edward Cullen You are Edward Cullen. Charming and polite yet stubborn and overprotective, your desperately adorable crooked smile bears the weight of your inner pain and self-loathing. Your salvation lies in love -- though you won't admit it, you feel you can save your soul in the arms of your true love, Bella.


Twilight Quiz
Twilight Quiz by QuizRocket.com



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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Top Ten Thursday: Water bodies

When the high temperature for the day tops out at 15 degrees Fahrenheit, and the wind pierces your clothes like an frozen ice pick, it's only natural for a life-long Kansan like myself to take a mental trip to a tropical port.

As the great American philosopher Christopher Cross once said, "Sailing takes me away."

But away to where? That's the subject of today's Top Ten Thursday List:
Top Ten Favorite Bodies of Water

10) Adriatic Sea:
I should say that it was a really close call for the number 10 spot between the Indian Ocean and the Adriatic Sea. But c'mon, everybody likes the Indian Ocean. The Adriatic got the nod based on it's intimacy and it's ability to flood Venice every year.

9) Martian Ice Fields:
I never said it had to be solid water, and I never said it had to be on Earth. The recent discovery of frozen water on Mars comes in at number 9 for the coolness factor alone.

8) Lake Mead:
It's not the biggest man-made lake, but it's still impressive. Still, a part of me wonders about the arrogant folly of trying to harness the Colorado River in an attempt to make a desert into a garden.

7) Mississippi River:
I've associated romance and adventure to the Mississippi River since first picking up a Mark Twain novel in junior high. It's seemingly slow moving water is also a good metaphor. Life happens, but Ol' Man River just keeps on rollin' along.

6) Spring Creek:
Lots of nostalgia factoring into this selection as well. This is the creek that ran through my backyard. A great place for fishing, swimming, ice skating in the winter, camping... pretty much anything a 10-year-old boy could want to do.

5) San Francisco Bay:
I admit this pick might have more to do with my fondness for the Bay Area than the actual water itself. Still, if you've been to San Francisco in the late spring (or really, anytime), you know that the water has a way of invading the city in to form of very romantic and mysterious fog.

4) Atlantic Ocean (Mid-Atlantic Coast):
I've had some really great vacations on America's east coast. But forget New York and points north, stick with the mid-Atlantic. The ocean has a temper here, a personality all its own. I just admire the attitude of a body of water that would just as soon throw a hurricane at you as look at you. The Atlantic is also my all-time favorite body of water named after a magazine.

3) Pacific Ocean (Southern California Coast):
Nothing beats the SoCal coast for chillin' out, relaxin', maxin' all cool and all (yeah, I just dropped some Fresh Prince all up in your hizzi). The Pacific Ocean here has a reputation for imbuing the inhabitants of the coast with a peaceful, tranquil nature (though it's best not to mention this to Uzi-toting gang bangers in South Central LA).

2) Ligurian Sea:
This quiet little corner of the Mediterranean may not have the bluster of the Atlantic or the cachet of the Pacific, but I'll always remember it's quaint medieval fishing villages and rocky coast with fondness. Mark my words, I shall return there someday.

1) Caribbean Sea:

In my fantasy of selling everything I own and living the rest of my live on a boat, I imagine living in the Caribbean like some kind of reject from a Jimmy Buffett song. Fishing, drinking my Green Label, strumming my six string. Ah, this is the life (as long as I can still have my broadband Internet and high-def television. And could you please do something about the pirates and Krakenses).


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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Blockbuster FAIL

So let me set the stage here.

The kid's at her grandmother's house. My Supermodel Wife and I have returned home early on a Saturday with a chance for date night to celebrate her 29th birthday. On the agenda: dinner out and movies in.

We decide to hit the neighborhood Blockbuster Video store to pick up a couple of flicks to watch after dinner. A glance at the local movie listings revealed there was nothing we both wanted to see, so a quick stop at Blockbuster seemed like a good move.

Only it turns out that there's no such thing as a quick stop at Blockbuster.

After learning they didn't have the film we wanted (Burn After Reading, have you seen it?) and about 10 minutes or so of browsing the titles, we make our way up to the counter to check out.

At this time I'll mention that the store is nearly deserted except for us, two other couples and two clerks.

I'll also mention that it's been about three years since we've rented videos. What with cable TV, DVRs and in-laws who buy DVDs like its an investment strategy, we just haven't had the occasion to rent.

Unfortunately for us, this meant that our membership in the exclusive Blockbuster customer club had lapsed.

Zoolander, the clerk who was "helping" us (not his actual name, but it was something equally as droll and movie-related) handed me a pen and a lengthy application form to fill out.

Meanwhile, other customers went ahead of us in line. It took me about 5 minutes to complete the questionnaire, using as much fake information as possible (do they really need to know my blood type? Really???).

So anyway, by the time I finish the application, Zoolander is busy with another customer. Seems this customer wanted to do something totally crazy like buy one of the previously viewed DVDs that Blockbuster sells. This insane request taxed Zoolander's mental capacity and that of his esteemed co-clerk to the point that they spent the next 15 minutes scratching their heads, poking the computer keyboard and calling the absent manager for help.

At length, Zoolander turned his attention back to our application for membership in the highly exclusive Blockbuster Video customer club. Unfortunately, he was breaking new professional ground in taking such an application. I was honored to be the first member he ever accepted, but frustrated that it took another 15 minutes to enter all of the information into the super secret Blockbuster Video world domination super computer database.

Finally, with our most personal information safely if not accurately entered, Zoolander fake-laminated our temporary membership cards with packing tape.

We paid for our three rentals and headed out to our car where an evening snowfall had deposited about an inch of snow in the 40 minutes we had been in the store.

Given this terrible experience, I'm not really surprised that Netflix is kicking Blockbuster's ass.

In fact, as rarely as we rent movies and despite my distaste for McDonald's, that Red Box thing is looking like a good option.

Has anyone ever used it? Cause I can't afford to lose more time in the Blockbuster's black hole of the soul.

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Remembrance: Greg Hawley

This morning's sad news proved that my self-imposed protective media shield isn't impermeable to all of the mass media's messages.

Reading that Greg Hawley was killed the other day really struck a chord with me.

Sure it's sad anytime you hear of someone's death, especially if the death is random and meaningless (as most are).

But Hawley's death seems to me a particular loss to the community.

I had several occasions to meet Hawley, once when I was profiling him and his museum for a local fishwrap and again when I was visiting the museum for fun with the family.

I don't claim to be a friend of his. He certainly wouldn't know me from any of the other thousands of slightly bald, slightly pudgy suburbanites. But I was and am a great admirer of what he and his family have done.

Here's a little background for those not familiar with the Hawley's: Greg and his friends and family decided, seemingly on a whim, to find and excavate one of the hundreds of legendary steamboats that sank in the Missouri River during the late 1800s.

When they found the Steamboat Arabia, it was buried under 50 feet of Missouri River bottom farmland. Still in the cargo hold was a veritable general store of everything a pioneer could need in the 1850s, including barrels of pickles that, according to Hawley, were still edible and delicious.

The Hawley's took the trove and opened the Steamboat Arabia museum which in my opinion is one of the jewels of Kansas City. It tells a story of the people who passed through, who stayed, who lived and died here.

In this time when chain stores and restaurants seem to be flooding the metro, when any project of meaningful size seems to be managed by an east coast or west coast company, the Hawleys just seem much more organic. They belong to Kansas City like barbecue and blues.

So the death of Greg is a loss to the city.

If you've never been to the Arabia museum, or even if it's been a while since your last visit, I think now is a good time to drop in, offer condolences to the family and learn a little about our local history.

Related:
I was with Greg Hawley, a great man
Thanks, Greg Hawley
I wouldn't wear that coat around the jail...
A Riverboat Legacy
A terrible loss for historical preservation


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Monday, January 12, 2009

Metro GOOB Watch: Harold's

Leawood has an "upscale" reputation in the metro area, so it's a bit surprising to see it being hit with so many Going Out Of Businesses.

But that sentiment didn't stop a "day laborer" from taking a job holding a sign at 115th and Nall the other day announcing great deals at the Harold's Going Out Of Business sale.

The closing of the Harold's store illustrates that in the current (bad) economy is affecting even affluent places like Leawood's Town Center Plaza.

To be fair the writing was on the wall for the regional retailer of ladies fashions. It was having trouble throughout it's Midwest territory, and the chain filed for bankruptcy at its Oklahoma headquarters back in November.

Turns out the 60-year-old business couldn't keep up with the failing economy.
"Increased competition and a weak economy have left us no choice but to cease operations," stated Ronald S. Staffieri, Chief Executive Officer of Harold's Stores, Inc. "We'd like to thank our loyal customers for their many years of patronage by offering incredible values on merchandise in all stores. As always, our knowledgeable Associates will provide our customers with the same high level of service."
Related: Metro GOOB Watch: Rainforest Cafe

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Friday, January 09, 2009

Friday Blogthing: Formula for blog success

I've just discovered that there is, in fact, a good formula for becoming everyone's favorite blog. It's so simple, even you can do it.

Just do this simple math (without looking at the answers, please) and you'll discover your favorite blog in no time. For those of you who went through the Kansas City, Mo., school system, feel free to use a calculator.

Please don't look down until you do the math. You'll love it I promise.
1) Pick your favorite whole number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3

3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3

4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....

5) Add the digits together

6) Now Scroll down.........
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1. TKC
2. Kansas Sity Sinic
3. Moxie Moma
4. Logtar
5. Frighteningly Uncommon Sense
6. KC with the Russian Accent
7. May's Machete
8. Rumbling Grumbling Old Fart
9. 3AM
10. Devious Bloggery

I know... I just have that effect on people...one day you too can be like me...:-) Believe it!

P.S. -- Stop picking different numbers. I am your idol, just deal with it!!!

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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Metro GOOB Watch: Rainforest Café

The closing of restaurants and stores isn't really all that uncommon, even in the best economic times.

But lately, I seem to be noticing more Going Out Of Business signs than usual, and they are cropping up in places around the metro that you wouldn't normally think of as economically challenged.

But, as the economy continues to slouch toward depression, it has become apparent that there aren't any places that you can't think of as economically challenged.

So today we introduce a new feature, the Metro G.0.O.B. Watch (G.O.O.B. = Going Out Of Business, get it? Clever no?)

Our first honoree is the popular dining establishment Rainforest Café. Formerly located in Oak Park Mall, the metro area's Taj Mahal of capitalism, the pseudo-environmentalist jungle-themed restaurant abruptly closed its doors and moved out this week.

On Tuesday, a group of mall workers cleared the eatery of its Rainforest décor like a bunch of Brazilian cattle ranchers.

I can't really say I'm sad to see it go. My 6-year-old daughter loved the place, but the food was palatable at best. But it does go to show that despite large crowds on weekends, midweek traffic wasn't enough to keep the green coming in.


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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

YouTube Tuesday: No problems, only resolutions

I know you've all made your New Year's resolutions, and according to Obama Girl, so have many of the political figures of the day.



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Monday, January 05, 2009

Movie Mini Review: In Bruges

Title: In Bruges

Cast: Colin Farrell, Ralph Fiennes, Brendan Gleeson, Jordan Prentice

Plot summary:
Novice hit man Ray (Ferrell) and his mentor Ken (Gleeson) flee to Bruges after a botched job in London to await instructions from the mob boss, Harry Waters (Fiennes). At first frustrated by the slow pace of the Belgian backwater, Ray eventually falls in love and finds himself in a fight for his life.

My thoughts:
The DVD box was marked with words like "A Hilarious Twisted Pleasure!" and "Undeniably Fun and Refreshingly Un-P.C.!" It described the film as an "edgy, action-packed comedy..."

From what I could remember of the theatrical trailer, this seemed like a good choice for a fun night in. We popped the disc in the player, grabbed the popcorn and waited for the hilarity.

But the hilarity never came. And that's my biggest problem with In Bruges. It was billed as a dark comedy, but only a very sad, humorless person would actually consider this a comedy.

The so-called comedy in this film seems to be built the shaky assumptions that 1) nobody knows where Bruges is 2) all Americans are fat and rude 3) American dwarfs are racists and 4) murder and suicide are side-splittingly witty.

There were a few moments, a few snippets of dialogue that made me crack a smile, perhaps even chuckle out loud a little. I'd like to tell you about them, but I can't remember what they were.

There was a lot of potential for actual hilarity, the scene where a fat family of Americans were considering climbing the top of a bell tower, for example. Unfortunately it missed the mark by turning into a stream of unfunny insults. The large actors couldn't even get the American accent right (if you're portraying a Midwestern American, you should lose the Brummy accent when you curse).

Anyway, all this isn't to say that it was a bad movie. The story line is pretty solid despite a few contrived plot devices. It tends to wander off a little bit in the second act, and the bloody ending is anything but hilarious.

The acting is solid, as it the directing. The photography and locations are really the strong points as far as I'm concerned.

I actually might have liked, not loved, this movie if it weren't for the poor marketing and high expectations I had before we watched it.

My final rating: If you're prepared to hate it, you might like it.

Favorite quote:
"Jeez he swears a lot, doesn't he?"



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Friday, January 02, 2009

Oh nine.

I'm not doing any resolutions this year. They would be the same as last year anyway.

But I did want to share this new year's greeting with you as we start pushing the boulder up the hill again...
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