Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Tails of the weird

I squinted skeptically as I heard the story relayed to me fourth-hand.

My Supermodel Wife had heard it from my mother-in-law who had relayed it from my my SMW's grandmother who had heard it from my SMW's uncle. If you had trouble following that, don't worry. It's all relative.

Anyway, the point is I was about four degrees removed from the horses mouth on this one, and as REO Speedwagon reminds us, tales grow taller on down the line.

But here's what I heard (this makes you guys fifth in line): SMW's uncle was swathing wheat (whatever that means) on the family farm in north central Kansas. As he was driving the swather around the field, he saw a strange looking animal running around.

It was about the size of a small dog, but hairless with a naked tail like a rat and gnarly looking fangs. He took note but, as he had a lot of field to mow and a limited amount of daylight, he kept swathing.

Then, some time later, he felt something hit the blades of the swather in a way that plants usually don't. Getting down, he saw that the animal had been nesting in the field and that he had run over it, slicing it in half with the farm implement.

He told the story to his mother (my SMW's grandmother), who told my mother-in-law, who told my SMW, who told me (stick with me here, I know it's confusing), she (grandmother) noted that she had seen a similar critter skulking around her farmhouse nearby, and that it had eaten one of her chickens.

Anyway, upon inspecting the bisected corpse, my uncle-in-law noticed how strange looking the animal was. It didn't look like anything he had seen around those parts. Hairless, big fang in the middle of its mouth, rat-like tail, about the size of a coyote, eats chickens.

I know what your thinking, and it's not Mark Mangino. My uncle-in-law came to the conclusion that it was none other than the legendary Chupacabra.

They've been spotted before, and in case you're not a watcher of late-night sci-fi television, here's a blurb from wikipedia:
Chupacabra is a legendary cryptid rumored to inhabit parts of the Americas. It is associated more recently with sightings of an allegedly unknown animal in Puerto Rico, Mexico, and the United States, especially in the latter's Latin American communities.

The name comes from the animal's reported habit of attacking and drinking the blood of livestock, especially goats. Physical descriptions of the creature vary. Eyewitness sightings have been claimed as early as 1990 in Puerto Rico, and have since been reported as far north as Maine, and as far south as Chile. Most biologists and wildlife management officials view the chupacabra as an urban legend.
You can understand my skepticism. I would have had the same reaction if they said they had sliced Bigfoot in half.

No. In my expert opinion we have a coyote, possibly suffering from a genetic condition known as "larrymoritis", with severe case of the mange.

But, as many of you already know, my motto is "Be skeptical, but keep an open mind, and pass the whiskey." So I'm just going to put this out there for you guys to decide for yourselves.

Oh, c'mon. You knew there would be pictures...



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11 comments:

  1. Eeeeghads that critter is fugly. I think he put him out of his misery.

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  2. That is one scary looking urban legend. Very freaky. Thanks for the gory pictures.

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  3. there was recently a story where some farmer (I think in KS) was hunting coyotes and shot a kid, now, that's a mix-up

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  4. That's a dingo, and it prolly just ate a baby.

    larrymoritis! Hilarious!!

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  5. I'm thinking coyote. And thanks for the breakfast pics.

    Cheers.

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  6. CHUPACABRA!!!

    And EW!!!

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  7. Why do two of the pics show a hairy animal while the last pic shows a hairless animal?

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  8. I think that that is a coyote with mange. I am very sure that whatever that is it has mange.

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  9. Well we still dont know what to think. And everyone has an opinion of what it might be. BUT I am just pretty sure it was not a coyote as we see them all the time and this was just simply different. BTW I am the uncle-in-law that hit it on our farm in north central KS

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  10. Tut looks just as what my grandfather had described to me.

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  11. it has the similarities of a Ibiza hound food for thought perhaps breed with a coyote

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