Come on in here, boy. Have a cigar.

One of the great things about this medium is that you develop relationships with people who look out for each other.

For example, the other day my boy Nick over at WNTV had my back in the career department by bird dogging for me the link to apply for a White House Internship.

Now, I know what your thinking. Why would a successful upper lower middle manager like myself be interested in an entry level White House internship?

Well my friends let's face it, the economy's not getting any better. Banks are insolvent, the markets are crashing, unemployment is at it's highest point of the century. At this rate, even my job of Assistant to the Regional Manager may not be secure.

So I clicked with interest on the link Nick provided.

I learned that to be a White House intern, there are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quo. This is politics after all even if the new rulers say things have changed.

First is that I have to be a U.S. citizen. Luckily, nobody has ever been able to prove that I'm not despite the efforts of a clique of Internet crackpots who swear I was born in Kenya.

I also have to be at least 18 years of age on or before the first day of the internship. Luckily I squeaked in right above that criteria. I don't want to say my actual age, but let's just say I used to carry my Rubik's Cube in the inside pocket of my Members Only jacket.

Next, up is that I have to be a student or grad student. No problemo. I can go back to KU and get my advanced degree in French Fry and McNugget Marketing.

So now all I have to do is decide what internship I want to pursue. I could opt for the Office of Cabinet Affairs, but I'm not really into carpentry.

The Office of Presidential Personnel sounds promising. They're the people who oversee selection of presidential appointments. But it seems like it's really tough to find appointees who haven't cheated on their taxes. Seems like too much work.

Actually, the Office of the Vice President looks like the best option. I mean, the VP doesn't really do anything and I can just tell that Joe Biden is one hell of a partier. And I'm not talking about political parties here.

So I'm off to fill out my application. I know some of you may be see this as a step down in the career department. But the way things are going we'll all be working for the government in a few short months. After they take over the banks, the automakers, the newspapers, insurance companies, real estate agencies, power companies, Internet providers, technology companies... well, anyway it's pretty clear that everyone will have a government job. I might as well get in on the ground floor.

And yes, I know how interns are treated at the White House. But we've all got to pay our dues.

My only question is, do I have to bring my own cigars?

tagged: White House, internship, Lewinsky, Joe Biden, career