Friday, March 04, 2011

My next million dollar idea: Continental Golf

A few weeks ago I posted a few random items from my fictional bucket list. Some of those things I've already done. Some I'm still working on.

One in particular, I'm completing today.

I had this idea of creating a sport, in part, to gain a small measure of immortality (perhaps due to an aforementioned existential dilemma) . Consider James Naismith, who invented basketball while working in New England. Sure, you'll hear KU fans say he invented basketball at KU, but I think it's pretty well established how delusional KU fans are.

Anyway, to back to the story, the working name for my new sport is Continental Golf. Let me esplain...

You see, there's a sport played all over the country called golf. Essentially, you hit a small ball with a long club in an effort to make it land in a hole some distance away. Score is kept by tallying the number of hits — or strokes — it takes a player get the ball into the hole. The goal being to get as low a score as possible over the course of 18 holes.

My adaptation of this is similar, except that instead of 90 to 500 yards separating the start and finish of a hole, it could be 100 to 600 miles or more.

You see, I envision each hole taking the length of an entire state. One would tee off, for example, in Leavenworth, Kan., and play west to finish by putting into a hole near Horace, Kan.

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So you would end your first hole, then continue into Colorado, teeing off in, say, Cheyenne Wells, and finishing in, maybe, Dove Creek. You would continue, so on and so forth, until you had played the entire course, which obviously would be composed of up to 18 different states.

Obviously, this is a more extreme version of traditional golf. But hey, I enjoy the challenge.

As with conventional golf, we'd have to establish a "par" for each hole, and I'm thinking we might rely on the sport's pioneering players to help with this. We might find it necessary to count every 10 hits as a stoke, and then use a decimal system for scoring. Kansas, for example, might have a par of 440.0 which would be roughly 4,400 in conventional golf strokes (if you're a big hitter).

Colorado, though shorter, has a pretty big bunker in the form of the Rocky Mountains, so you'd need to account for that in the par rating. But you get the idea.

As for equipment, I see us using pretty much the same items as regular golf as far as balls, clubs, gloves etc. Although we should consider trading in the battery powered golf cart for a diesel powered Hummer. Or maybe a good quarter horse if you're a sport purist.

Now, the beauty of this sport is that while it may not be practical for your average Joe to take a few weeks off every year to go play a hole of Continental Golf, I'm thinking ahead to the digital spin off.

Imagine the appeal of taking my new game, putting it on an Xbox or even a Wii, juicing it up with some Google Earth mojo and launching an online Continental Golf league. You get to multiply the appeal of golf by the joy of travel and tourism, and I get to take a tasty little cut out of every purchase.

So, who wants to be in my first foursome. I'm thinking we tee off in late April?

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  1. You know, I'm kind of falling in love with this idea. It's the kind of thing which could catch on.

    A couple of things in no particular order:

    1. The holes would not have to be played in order.

    2. Penalties would have to be adjusted.

    3. Drinking is mandatory.

    4. A decent prize upon completion regardless of score.

    5. A traveling cup for the lowest score.

    6. Maybe a Base 1000 scoring system, i.e. a par three is 3000 conventional strokes.

    7. Cooperation with local golf courses for use of fairways and greens. For example, the end of the 18th would be the 18th hole at Pebble Beach.

    I must think think about this.


  2. The prize for completing: A date with LPGA golfer and model Anna Rawson.


  3. R.S.,

    Yep. This format lends itself nicely to a shotgun start.

    And I agree that drinking should be mandatory, as it is in conventional golf. In fact, rather than a drink cart, we might want to think about using a refrigerated beverage distributor's truck.

    Your comment about penalties reminds me of my days living in Atchison when my friends and I used to buy an egg carton full of used golf balls and try to drive them across the Missouri River.

  4. BTW, you use any of my ideas without attribution, bub, and I'm suing your ass.



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