Another headline I couldn't pass up

Pipe leak forcing sewage into Missouri River

The Wyandotte County (Kansas) government dumped a bunch of raw sewage in the Missouri River and wanted to warn the people of Kansas City, Mo., about it.

Which is more considerate than the government of Kansas City, Mo., which craps on KC residents with no warning at all.

tagged: news, Kansas City, Wyandotte, Missouri, raw sewage, commentary

Not for amateurs

Public Service Announcement:

Pole dancing isn't for amateurs. Before you decide to become a pole dancer, be sure to get the proper training. Oh, and don't drink and pole dance.

The More You Know...



tagged: video, humor, pole dancing

Headline of the Day

Stagg trial ends with hung jury

Does this headline make anyone else think of a bachelor party?

tagged: news, Kansas City

Like a good neighbor

We received this nice note from the people we sold our Roeland Park house to:

Dear Emawkc and Supermodel Wife,
We just wanted to take a moment to thank you for making our first homebuying experience so positive. We really appreciate how well you've taken care of this house. All of the extra cleaning, painting and reseeding, etc. was unexpected but very much appreciated. I hope your sellers were as kind to you as you've been to our family.
Good luck to you in your new home and future endeavors.

What a nice sentiment. It sounds like our former neighbors have some great new neighbors.

Unfortunately, our sellers weren't as kind to us. But, time to move on...

tagged: home, house, real estate, Roeland Park, Kansas

La Cage aux Foley

I haven't commented much on the Mark Foley circus, mostly because everybody else already has.

But this headline struck me funny (not that there's anything funny about what Foley did... oh c'mon, sure there is!):

Ethics committee ready to probe Foley case

Just the use of the words "probe Foley" makes me chuckle.

The story notes that "The Justice Department, meanwhile, ordered House officials to preserve all records related to Foley's electronic correspondence with teenagers."

I wonder who's going to pull the plumb job of going through Foley's briefs.

tagged: Mark Foley, politics, Republican, Democrat, probe, ethics, pop culture

Deployed: Kuwait and wait

Thanks to everyone who expressed their concern for my brother-in-law Nick as he shipped out to serve as an MP in Iraq.

Nick arrived safe, but tired, in Kuwait. I was forwarded the following email from my Supermodel Wife's Supermodel Sister and wanted to post this portion of it as an update on Nick's adventure. Names have not been changed, although I have omitted the more private and personal content.

Hey Honey

Just wanted to drop you an email. Its 5 dollars to access the slow ass internet here for an hour so this wont be too long. Right now I'm in Kuwait as you already knew. We're not doing much but we're going to be training soon. It's so weird here. It's dark by 6PM and light by 6AM and it's hot. I'm sick of sand which is probably bad because it's all I'm going to see for awhile. I'm not sleeping well, normally about 5 hours but it may get better as it wears on me some more and I develop a routine.

What else.... I go to the gym about 2 times daily and that's been fun but I am sore. We're supposed to head to Iraq about the 16th or so and I'll know more about things then. Everything is good and my spirits are high but I miss you pretty bad. Okay I've got a list of things I need you to mail out ASAP....

I need one pair of large PT shorts and one large short sleeve PT t-shirt from clothing and sales.
I need you to send me more boxer shorts. 3-5 pairs as they are non existent here and I didn't pack near enough.
I need you to go to a Sams Club and buy a 600 minute rechargeable international phone card and that will be what I use to call home with. Because its rechargeable it makes it a lot easier. I've had to buy some stuff since I've been here, (underwear, pillow, a watch, etc.) but haven't spent too much money.

That's really about all I have to say. I love you. I miss you and I cant wait to talk to you soon. The sooner they get phone cards here the sooner I'll call. They are currently out here and I'm not calling with the credit card again. May be a few days. BTW I leave for a 3 day field exercise on Thursday and won't be back until Saturday. That will probably be the next time I call.

I love you so much.

Love, Nick

tagged: Iraq, Mosul, Kuwait, war, military, soldier

Timber

We received word from our former neighbors that the ancient Sycamore tree on Linden Street in Roeland Park finally had to remove .

The tree was enormous. In a city rife with huge trees, this tree stood out as truly gigantic.

Several owners of the property had investigated having it removed. Too much maintenance, what with the leaves and sticks falling all the time. But it never happened, probably due to the price tag of cutting down and carting off the leviathan.

My Super Model Wife and I were always relieved to see the grand creature remain. That's why we made a trip back to the old neighborhood to bid the old Sycamore a fond farewell.

John, the owner of the house, said a crack in the west trunk appeared over the weekend. The west trunk leaned out over the vintage ranch house, threatening to crush it and the neighboring houses with the next stiff wind.

John said he would end up paying about $10,000 to have the tree removed. The Roeland Park arborist said that the largest tree in Roeland Park had fallen down last week. So this tree, for a few days, had the honor of being the largest tree in the city.

Though we understood that it was necessary, that, as George Harrison said, all things must pass, it was sad to see this majestic tree...

...reduced to a child's plaything.

tagged: Kansas City, Roeland Park, tree, timber, environmentalist

Arrgh! I hate that!

So I'm refueling my car this morning on the way to work. I go into the QuikTrip to pay for the gas and buy a cup o' joe.

I pay by debit card, sign the slip and head back to the car with my coffee and a renewed sense of optimism for the day.

Waiting at the first stoplight, I lift the coffee cup to take a drink and catch the undeniable aroma of cheap men's cologne. I sniff the cup. It doesn't seem to be coming from the plastic or the lid.

Then I smell my left hand. Ughh! I'm not sure whether it's Old Spice or Stetson, but it's some kind of old man's cheap scent. It's horrible. I run through the previous 20 minutes in my mind.

Obviously I picked up the scent like a bad germ from something that some cologne bather had touched. It couldn't have been the pen I signed with. I'm right handed and the odor is on my left. It wasn't the handle on the gas pump, since that would smell like gasoline (which would have been better).

I conclude that it must have been on either the door of the convenience store, or the coffee dispenser.

Regardless, I have to put up with the ridiculously obnoxious smell for the next 30 minutes until I can get to a washroom at work.

I hate it when that happens.

tagged: smell, odor, QuickTrip, coffee, cologne, Old Spice, Stetson

YouTube Tuesday: Put Something In

Our soon-to-be four-year-old daughter is really into reading. We've always read to her every day, and she's got a bookshelf that would shame Captain Kangaroo.

A love of reading is something I inherited from my parents and we want to pass it on to Bethany.

It seems to be paying off. For the last four months or so, she has been honing her reading skills -- practicing writing and sounding out the letters, spelling her name (and ours), playing word games like "What starts with 'B'" etc.

So I decided to kick up the reading level a notch and bought a copy of Shel Silverstein's Where the Sidewalk Ends.

The whimsy and poetic format have been a big hit with Bethany. She particularly likes to read about The Hippopotamus Sandwich ("The hardest part is biting in to it.").

So when I saw that there was a Silverstein video poem on YouTube, I thought it might be fun to show it to Bethany.

Then I watched it, and it gave me a severe case of the heebie-jeebies.

Enjoy (if you can).

tagged: movie, YouTube, video, poem, poetry, Shel Silverstein, Put Something In, culture

Deployed

Nick shipped out early yesterday morning.

He had a one or two stops to make in country, so by now he's probably on a plane with the rest of his platoon on their way to Kuwait for a couple of weeks of training.

From there, it's into the shit.

Nick will be stationed in Mosul. He's part of an MP battalion that will make regular driving patrols around the region.

What's amazing to me is that Nick is only 25 years old. 25, and he's commanding a group of men who, in all likelihood, will have to kill someone at some point. Not to mention the high probability that some of them probably won't come home. That's some heavy shite.

I try to think back to when I was 25. At the time, I was editor for a small daily newspaper in Kansas. As such, the biggest danger I faced was a tongue-lashing (heh) from a pissed-off reader.

Certainly, I never stared down the barrel of an IED (it's a figure of speech. I know IEDs don't have barrels).

So yes, we're all nervous about Nick's safety. He understandably doesn't like to dwell on it.

We bought him and his Supermodel Wife of a year (my Supermodel Wife's sister), lunch last weekend when they came to town. He reluctantly talked about his mission, and was frank about where he was going and what he was getting into. He noted that most of the support staff will never leave the military base, and as such will be pretty safe.

The MPs units however will face daily danger as they make their patrols. But Nick would rather focus on the task at hand, whatever it may be, than worry about the danger and risk. A result of his military training, no doubt.

So, let me just take this chance to ask you to keep Nick and all of our soldiers on your mind.

And to wish Nick godspeed and safe returns.

tagged: Iraq, Mosul, war, military, soldier