Friday Blogthing: Say what?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland   "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
The Inland North
The South
Philadelphia
Boston
North Central
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

tagged: blog, quiz, accent, region, midland

Kiss my big, black, hairy tongue

Casually reading through my RSS subscriptions this morning I came across something so disgusting, so gross, so OMFG!!! that I just had to share it here.

It comes from the Mayo Clinic (via neatorama).

A black, coated tongue is a temporary, harmless condition typically resulting from an overgrowth of bacteria and sometimes yeast in the mouth. These organisms accumulate on the tiny projections of the tongue — called papillae — and cause discoloration. Certain types of bacteria and yeast make red blood cell pigments (porphyrins), which can give the tongue a black appearance. In some cases, the tongue may also appear "hairy" due to more rapid growth of papillae or an interruption of the normal shedding of cells by the tongue.

Okay, ready for the picture (you knew it was coming)...



tagged: medical, oral hygiene, black, hairy, tongue, gross

In a non-bind

(EDIT. -- I'm pretty horrible at political rants. In order to do a really good rant, you have to actually care about the subject you're ranting on. Still, since evolution is still on hiatus, I feel I should gripe about something political and this seems like a good controversial topic.)

The do-nothing Democratic congress continues to do nothing and brag about it.

The latest example is this so-called legislation that the Democratic peacocks are promoting as a rejection of President Bush's proposal to increase troop levels in Iraq.

Oh, it would be all well and good if they actually were rejection the president's proposal. 22,000 troops may or may not make a difference in Iraq, but as Jerry Seinfeld would say, if it doesn't work that's one big matzah ball hanging out there.

But of course the "legislation" in question isn't really a rejection at all.

Senator-with-a-porn-star-name Dick Lugar almost hit the nail on the head when he said

"It is unclear to me how passing a nonbinding resolution that the president has already said he will ignore will contribute to any improvement or modification of our Iraq policy."

What Lugar may know but didn't mention is that improving or modifying the Iraq policy isn't the goal of the Democrats. On the contrary, the goal of the Democrats is to do nothing and make sure the policy doesn't change, but still appear as if they are attempting to change the policy.

As I pointed out last November, despite what they say the hypocritical Democrats need the war in Iraq to continue, and to fail, in order for Hillary and/or Barak to have a chance of winning the presidency in a couple of years.

tagged: Iran, democrats, war, Hillary, Barak, Bush, politics

YouTube Tuesday: Da Bears Shufflin' Crew

Might as well get this out of the way now.

I was in high school the last time Da Bears were in the Super Bowl, a time of break dancing, clothes with lots of zippers, and of course, the Super Bowl Shuffle.

I can't believe me and my adolescent comrades took this song seriously (can anyone thing of a more blatant attempt to make a bunch of black guys look white and white guys look even whiter?) but such are the ways of youth.

Here are a few fun facts about the Super Bowl Shuffle, courtesy of mental_floss:

* The song actually reached #41 on the Billboard charts.
* The song actually was nominated for a Grammy, for best Best Rhythm & Blues Vocal Performance. The Bears lost to Prince.
* Defensive end Dan Hampton felt it was too cocky and declined to participate.
* In 1998, The Onion brilliantly reported ‘85 Chicago Bears Return to Studio: Shufflin’ Crew begins work on long-awaited follow-up album.
* You can find the complete lyrics here.

BONUS: As long as we're on this trip down amnesia lane, here's one of the classic Superfan sketches from when Saturday Night Live was funny...

tagged: movie, YouTube, video, football, Bears, Super Bowl, Shuffle, NFL, sports, pop culture

Friday blogthing: Doh!!

You Are Homer Simpson

You're just an ordinary, all-American working Joe... With a special fondness for pork rinds and donuts. You will be remembered for: your little "isms" and philosophies on life Your life philosophy: "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."

The Simpsons Personality Test

tagged: Simpsons, Homer Simpson, pop culture

Movie Mini Review: Life Aquatic

I'm going to try to start a little series of movie reviews. Why? Well there are some movies I like and some I don't like, and what the heck, maybe by reader will get something out if it. If nothing else, we can start a discussion about how off base I am with my assessments.

So here's the first installment.

Title: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Cast:
Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, Owen Wilson, Anjelica Huston, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum

Plot summary:
While making a documentary, the famous oceanographer Steve Zissou (Murray) loses his dear friend, eaten by a mythical jaguar shark. He raises funds for an expedition in his ship, the Belafonte, to hunt the shark and make a new film. The journalist Jane Winslett-Richardson (Blanchett) and a pilot that claims to be his unknown son, Ned Plimpton (Wilson), join his crew in their journey, planned by his wife Eleanor Zissou (Huston). While making the movie, they are attacked by pirates and left without any money to finish their work. (credit to Claudio Carvalho)

My thoughts:
I remember being keen to see this movie when it was released in theaters back in '04. I didn't get to see it at the time (we don't get out much, what can I say), but the film didn't seem to do that well commercially.

Too bad, because it's a great movie. Although I can see how it would be difficult to market. It doesn't fit neatly into the genres that movie marketers seem to rely on.

It's not really a comedy, although it has some hilariously funny lines as you would expect from a movie staring Bill Murray. I found myself laughing out loud many times.

It's not a drama either, though there are some dramatic moments, like Owen Wilson's poignant death scene.

And this movie certainly didn't have a big special effects budget. On the contrary, the effects seemed to be deliberately low-tech, as if the director Wes Anderson were trying to make the underwater scenes kitschy in an attempt to poke fun at those high-dollar, CGI-enhanced blockbusters.

In the end, this movie is a great example of how you don't need formulas or special effects or billion-dollar budgets to make a great film. You just need a great story, excellent writing and solid directing and acting.

Unfortunately in Hollywood, those things are rarer than money.

Favorite quote:
"Son of a bitch, I'm sick of these dolphins."

tagged: movie, Life Aquatic, film, culture, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, Owen Wilson, Anjelica Huston, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum

YouTube Tuesday: Not so cold

The KC metro area, and much of the central midwest, has been in the grips of icy temperatures for the last few days.

I heard one of my coworkers say it was time to move south, that it was too cold to come to work or even get out of bed.

I suspect there's some other motivational problem with my coworker because, while it is indeed cold, it's not THAT cold. I mean you wouldn't want to go have a picnic in the park when it's 8 degrees Fahrenheit outside. But let's face it, it could be much colder.

Just take Alaska for example, where it gets really cold. So cold that water, thrown outside, evaporates in midair.




tagged: movie, YouTube, video, weather, cold, Alaska, freezing

And that settles that

When I was grade school, a good friend of mine was the first kid in our town to get a video tape player.

His dad was kind of a gadget guy, an "early adopter" as the marketing gurus say. They were also the first family to have a video camera, and a cell phone (which, back then, came in the form of a small bag that you would sling over your shoulder, and you had to put an antenna on top of your car for it to work).

Anyway, they spent hundreds (maybe even a thousand) of dollars on this video tape player and we all thought it was so cool how you could watch a movie at home without commercials. You could rewind, fast forward. It was all very cutting edge. But eventually, we got tired of watching the same movie over and over again.

That's when my friend's dad realized he had invested in the wrong technology. We had been watching a Betamax player, and it didn't take long to see that VHS had won the format war.

I bring this up because we technophiles were facing a similar showdown until today.

The war was between which high-definition video format would succeed the standard-def DVD. On one side was HD DVD, on the other was Blu-ray. Sure, there were efforts to work together to come to a consensus. But like the battle between the Galactic Empire and the Rebel Alliance, no solution was forthcoming.

Until today. The multi-billion dollar porn industry has stepped in to put and end to the destructive conflict by adopting the HD DVD format for your late-night wanking pleasure.

The importance of this development would be difficult to overestimate. Despite the lip service (pun intended) paid to morals and family values in the US, Americans were estimated to spend as much as $8 to $10 billion on pornography in 2003.

And it's axiomatic that, from a technological standpoint, where the porn industry goes, the rest of American follows. Arguably, the porn industry deserves credit for most of the advance in high-speed internet content delivery technology, and possibly the internet itself.

So here's a twenty-one tissue salute to the porn industry for solving yet another social problem.


tagged: technology, culture, video, movie, porn, industry, Blu-ray, HD DVD

Friday blogthing: Are we not men?

Your 80s Theme Song Is:

Whip It by Devo

What's Your 80s Theme Song?

tagged: 80s, music, Devo

Pump you up

Clusterflock linked us to a NYT Magazine article interview with Dick Pound, head of the World Anti-Doping Agency (note: I'll stay clear of the obvious joke about how Dick Pound sounds like a porn actor's name. I mean, that's just too easy even for me).

Here's that passage got my attention:

Performance enhancement is like any other kind of underground activity: the participants are the only ones who know for sure what they’re up to. Anabolic steroids were for weight lifters, home-run hitters and sprinters and would never help an athlete in an endurance event like the Tour de France, right? Yet that’s what Landis tested positive for. How that might have helped him climb mountains is unknown — except, if he took them, by Landis and any enablers. Everybody thought pitchers never used steroids because they value flexibility more than strength. Then baseball started checking for steroids, and about half the positive tests came from pitchers. In university laboratories across the world, and in places like the United States Department of Defense, scientists are dreaming up yet new ways to enhance human beings — steps that may very well be taken by elite athletes before they are perfected or even considered safe.

Hey, you ain't seen nuthin' yet. What do you think the whole stem cell thing is about. It sure as hell isn't about curing Parkinson's Disease, I can tell you. That's just the public propaganda that "they" want us to buy.

And who is "they" you ask?

Well, I have documented proof that a cabal of conspirators including the Defense Department, George Steinbrenner, GlaxoSmithKline, and the University of Oklahoma is conducting a secret research project to create super enhanced collegiate curlers using stem cells.

Of course this is just the first step. The technology will eventually be used to create a race of super soldiers, kind of like Kurt Russel in that movie Soldier.

Which is really okay. I mean, we're going to need somebody to fight the machines when the great robot revolution begins.

tagged: steroids, doping, Floyd Landis, culture, sports, stem cells