Here at the beginning of the end of society as we know it, as technology becomes our master, as resources dwindle, as the thin veneer of civilization begins to peel back to reveal a reality in which we feast on our own kind… it's probably a good time to brush up on the skills that will allow us to eek out a miserable existence in the post-apocalyptic hellscape that will become our planet.
That's where the good folks at Primitive Technology are being so darned helpful. Check them out for all of your primitive tool tutorials such as Making Charcoal and Basket Weaving…
And, of course, the exceedingly helpful, Primitive Bow and Arrow…
Showing posts with label technology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label technology. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
YouTube Tuesday: Music Beta
I already hve my invite request in for this much-needed service:
tagged: YouTube, Tuesday, Google, Music Beta, streaming, technology
tagged: YouTube, Tuesday, Google, Music Beta, streaming, technology
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
YouTube Tuesday: Junkyard Jumbotron
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
YouTube Tuesday: Photoshopping Life
Technology is supposed to make things easier. Wouldn't it be great if you could use the image editing tools in Photoshop to edit your real life?
Like maybe cloning in a couple of extra Scarlett Johanssons?
Yeah, I think this guy's got the right idea.
tagged: YouTube Tuesday, film, video, Photoshop, Hyperakt, Photoshop dexterity
Like maybe cloning in a couple of extra Scarlett Johanssons?
Yeah, I think this guy's got the right idea.
tagged: YouTube Tuesday, film, video, Photoshop, Hyperakt, Photoshop dexterity
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
YouTube Tuesday: Conference calling
I'm fairly certain that anyone who works in a professional environment has dealt with this issue at some point.
If you're like me, working with agencies and colleagues on both coasts in a time when conference rooms have tended to become a virtual phenomenon rather than a tangible one, it's probably far more common that you prefer.
But at least we can still joke about it.
tagged: work, office, conference call, life, professional, David Grady
If you're like me, working with agencies and colleagues on both coasts in a time when conference rooms have tended to become a virtual phenomenon rather than a tangible one, it's probably far more common that you prefer.
But at least we can still joke about it.
tagged: work, office, conference call, life, professional, David Grady
Friday, May 14, 2010
Crude awakening
Sure, some people are calling the oil spill in the Gulf a "crisis." 
And I guess to certain people with certain world views, it is a crisis.
But I prefer to look on the bright side of things. Where some people see crisis, I see opportunity. In this case, it's the opportunity to look at our national energy consumption and talk about ways to make it better.
And I'm not alone. Two of my favorite bloggers have noted the increased awareness of our energy situation.
Xavier Onassis, reining Imperator of Independence made some great points in his post about a smart energy grid, or as he called it an "agnostic energy grid":
That post dovetails nicely into R.Sherman's two-part series on the importance of nuclear energy to our energy future. It's a great series (as you would expect from one of Missouri's finest minds) that scientifically points out that the so-called "green" energy solutions won't be enough by themselves to provide all of our energy consumption needs.
All these points made me realize that as a culture we have a pretty limited view of how we generate electricity. It's either from nuclear plants, coal plants, hydroelectric or wind or some other grand scheme.
But let's not forget that there are many ways to capture energy that is wasted every day. It seems like there are many opportunities to generate-- or rather capture -- small amounts of energy over a very large area. Kind of a "long tail" approach to the energy problem.
For example, an Israeli company has developed a new highway surface that generates electricity as cars drive over it.
A United Kingdom company has developed a way to convert the kinetic energy of pedestrians walking down a busy street into electricity.
There have also been proposals to embedded piezoelectrics in shoes, clothing, even body parts to convert kinetic energy into electricity.
None of these plans individually generate very much electricity. But if created in mass and spread out over a national -- maybe even global -- smart energy grid, a dent could be made in our electrical consumption.
So my mind started to wander and look for ways to capture and convert more kinetic energy into electricity. They've got cars and sidewalks and shoes covered. People have even hooked bicycles up to generators.
And then I saw an opportunity literally right in front of me. We need to have tiny little piezoelectric generators embedded into every computer keyboard and mouse in the country.
Just think of the potential. Any time anyone presses a key on the keyboard -- and it's done billions of times a day -- a tiny electric charge would be created. Every time you move your mouse, every time you hit the enter key, every time you backspace to correct a misspelling you would be generating a tiny bit of power.
All of these tiny bits of power would cascade into the smart energy grid like delicate snowflakes on a mountain top. But by the time they accumulate, they would become an avalanche of clean electric power that anyone could have access to.
And finally, at long last, the millions of bloggers writing inane, uninformed posts about subjects of which they have little understanding would be serving a useful purpose.
tagged: oil, energy, nuclear, Deepwater Horizon, piezoelectric, blogging, environmentalist
And I guess to certain people with certain world views, it is a crisis.But I prefer to look on the bright side of things. Where some people see crisis, I see opportunity. In this case, it's the opportunity to look at our national energy consumption and talk about ways to make it better.
And I'm not alone. Two of my favorite bloggers have noted the increased awareness of our energy situation.
Xavier Onassis, reining Imperator of Independence made some great points in his post about a smart energy grid, or as he called it an "agnostic energy grid":
What we need is a … power grid that will accept input from any source at a standard, pro-rated, kilowatt-basedHe then lists many different ways to produce electricity, including small nuclear reactors like those that have been used for years to power America's warships at sea.compensation, feed that electricity into the grid where it is distributed as needed at a standard, pro-rated, kilowatt-based pricing system.
There are so many ways to generate electricity that with a distributed generation strategy and a unified grid, we can have all the power we need without depending on fossil fuels.
That post dovetails nicely into R.Sherman's two-part series on the importance of nuclear energy to our energy future. It's a great series (as you would expect from one of Missouri's finest minds) that scientifically points out that the so-called "green" energy solutions won't be enough by themselves to provide all of our energy consumption needs.All these points made me realize that as a culture we have a pretty limited view of how we generate electricity. It's either from nuclear plants, coal plants, hydroelectric or wind or some other grand scheme.
But let's not forget that there are many ways to capture energy that is wasted every day. It seems like there are many opportunities to generate-- or rather capture -- small amounts of energy over a very large area. Kind of a "long tail" approach to the energy problem.
For example, an Israeli company has developed a new highway surface that generates electricity as cars drive over it.
A United Kingdom company has developed a way to convert the kinetic energy of pedestrians walking down a busy street into electricity.
There have also been proposals to embedded piezoelectrics in shoes, clothing, even body parts to convert kinetic energy into electricity.
None of these plans individually generate very much electricity. But if created in mass and spread out over a national -- maybe even global -- smart energy grid, a dent could be made in our electrical consumption.
So my mind started to wander and look for ways to capture and convert more kinetic energy into electricity. They've got cars and sidewalks and shoes covered. People have even hooked bicycles up to generators.
And then I saw an opportunity literally right in front of me. We need to have tiny little piezoelectric generators embedded into every computer keyboard and mouse in the country.
Just think of the potential. Any time anyone presses a key on the keyboard -- and it's done billions of times a day -- a tiny electric charge would be created. Every time you move your mouse, every time you hit the enter key, every time you backspace to correct a misspelling you would be generating a tiny bit of power.All of these tiny bits of power would cascade into the smart energy grid like delicate snowflakes on a mountain top. But by the time they accumulate, they would become an avalanche of clean electric power that anyone could have access to.
And finally, at long last, the millions of bloggers writing inane, uninformed posts about subjects of which they have little understanding would be serving a useful purpose.
tagged: oil, energy, nuclear, Deepwater Horizon, piezoelectric, blogging, environmentalist
Monday, February 15, 2010
Eastbound and down
We were driving home from a weekend mission into the deepest reaches of darkest western Kansas Sunday evening.
The details and purpose of the mission are not germane to this post, its enough to point out that we passed the I-70 East toll plaza at about 17:15 hours for the last stretch to home sweet home. About two minutes and two miles later, I was hitting the brakes1 as traffic was coming to a standstill.
Needless to say, there was some doin's a transpirin'.
We weren't exactly parked on the highway, but we were moving slow enough that no speed was registering on the car's speedometer. After about 5 minutes of barely moving, the ADD kicked in. I decided to do a little recon to pass the time.
Since there was no traffic in the westbound lanes, it was a fair deduction that there was some kind of traffic accident ahead. But where? And when? What caused it? The weather wasn't great, but it wasn't a blizzard either. Were any deaths involved? Any decapitations? Should I watch for rolling noggins along the median?
So many questions, but no answers on the radio. And there's only so much you can deduce when your stuck in your car. Luckily, it was a bout this time that I heard the familiar sonar ping that signals the arrival of a new email on my kickass phone. Since we're not really moving, I start my email app and see that the message is a news alert from KMBC apprising me of a traffic delay on I-70 (no duh!) because of a 50 CAR PILEUP! caused by a flash blizzard whiteout.
I share this intelligence with my Supermodel Wife, who wondered aloud whether the Kansas City Scout system might have any additional details.
So I started up the web browser on my phone/tricorder and typed in the www for the Scout's web page. Before we had driven another 50 feet, I had the latest report in the palm of my hand.
"Major incident," the report read. "West bound I-70 passed K-7 exit. 3 lanes closed..."
There wasn't a lot of detail, but there was one item of importance. The report indicated that authorities expected the lanes to be cleared at 6:36 p.m. I checked the time on my phone/tricorder/chronometer. It was about 5:50 p.m. and the traffic was showing no signs of improving. In fact, a flashing light up ahead was telling all cars to merge left.
So with no other choice but to crawl, passed the time chit chatting and making jokes at the expense of other vehicles on the highway. The big Frito-Lay truck was good fodder puns for a few minutes.
After a while, we began to see a little more room between the cars ahead of us and behind us. We began to move a little faster until, almost without knowing it, we were up to normal highway speed. I checked the clock on the car's console.
6:26 p.m.
It may have been a coincidence, but it was amazing how accurate the Scout system was. And it was amazing how awesome my phone technology was that I could access it. This is what it's like to live in the future.
1. I'm a jackass for misspelling this word before.
tagged: travel, Kansas City, car crash, pile up, I-70, technology, Scout
The details and purpose of the mission are not germane to this post, its enough to point out that we passed the I-70 East toll plaza at about 17:15 hours for the last stretch to home sweet home. About two minutes and two miles later, I was hitting the brakes1 as traffic was coming to a standstill.
Needless to say, there was some doin's a transpirin'.
We weren't exactly parked on the highway, but we were moving slow enough that no speed was registering on the car's speedometer. After about 5 minutes of barely moving, the ADD kicked in. I decided to do a little recon to pass the time.
Since there was no traffic in the westbound lanes, it was a fair deduction that there was some kind of traffic accident ahead. But where? And when? What caused it? The weather wasn't great, but it wasn't a blizzard either. Were any deaths involved? Any decapitations? Should I watch for rolling noggins along the median?
 |
| 50 car pileup started by a sticking Toyota accelerator pedal |
I share this intelligence with my Supermodel Wife, who wondered aloud whether the Kansas City Scout system might have any additional details.
So I started up the web browser on my phone/tricorder and typed in the www for the Scout's web page. Before we had driven another 50 feet, I had the latest report in the palm of my hand."Major incident," the report read. "West bound I-70 passed K-7 exit. 3 lanes closed..."
There wasn't a lot of detail, but there was one item of importance. The report indicated that authorities expected the lanes to be cleared at 6:36 p.m. I checked the time on my phone/tricorder/chronometer. It was about 5:50 p.m. and the traffic was showing no signs of improving. In fact, a flashing light up ahead was telling all cars to merge left.
So with no other choice but to crawl, passed the time chit chatting and making jokes at the expense of other vehicles on the highway. The big Frito-Lay truck was good fodder puns for a few minutes.
After a while, we began to see a little more room between the cars ahead of us and behind us. We began to move a little faster until, almost without knowing it, we were up to normal highway speed. I checked the clock on the car's console.
6:26 p.m.
It may have been a coincidence, but it was amazing how accurate the Scout system was. And it was amazing how awesome my phone technology was that I could access it. This is what it's like to live in the future.
1. I'm a jackass for misspelling this word before.
tagged: travel, Kansas City, car crash, pile up, I-70, technology, Scout
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Death of a blogsman
It's only natural that when a man reaches advanced age, he begins a more serious consideration of his own mortality.
In the case of XO, a person who basically has one foot in the grave already, that consideration made him reconsider his "end of life" plan. And it's a surprisingly good plan. For someone of XO's questionable mental state it shows some unexpected clarity of thought.. even something resembling logic, which is new for him.
But -- not to throw a monkey wrench into the plan -- I'm not sure if XO has looked at the option of promession.
From what I can tell it's a pretty new thing, patent pending and all. But for people like XO, it may be just the scratch for that end-of-life itch. It has the added bonus of being "environmentally friendly" -- and let's face it, incinerating a corpse isn't exactly kind to Mother Nature, what with all of the ashes and soot, not to mention the amount of carbon it takes to produce enough energy to burn a body completely, believe me I know.
Essentially the promession process consists of freezing your corpse in liquid nitrogen, then shattering your frozen body, T-1000-style, with a sudden vibration.
Your shattered mortal remains are freeze-dried to remove any residual moisture, then any metals are removed (including those two titanium hips that XO received a couple of years ago).
Now, XO is nothing but inert organic material -- which is pretty much what he is now -- but when he's buried, this material is readily biodegradable. The nutrients are returned to the earth to be used as worm food, plant food, or even marijuana fertilizer.
Now that's what I call dust-to-dust.
Anyway, just wanted to put this option out there. It still seems overly complicated compared to my own plan, which is to just have someone toss my bloated corpse out of moving pickup into a ditch along a lonely county road somewhere in Northwest Kansas.
tagged: death, burial, cremation, promession, corpse, body, environmentalist
In the case of XO, a person who basically has one foot in the grave already, that consideration made him reconsider his "end of life" plan. And it's a surprisingly good plan. For someone of XO's questionable mental state it shows some unexpected clarity of thought.. even something resembling logic, which is new for him.
But my BFF's mom started talking about how her sister was going to donate her body to science and how they would pay for the cremation and send your ashes back home...So yeah, donate you body to science so med school students can cut you up and learn about surgery by removing all of your internal bits. Finally, XO will be contributing to society!
... instead of paying thousands or tens of thousands of dollars to a funeral home to host a maudlin weep-fest, all my survivors need to do is make a phone call.
But -- not to throw a monkey wrench into the plan -- I'm not sure if XO has looked at the option of promession.
From what I can tell it's a pretty new thing, patent pending and all. But for people like XO, it may be just the scratch for that end-of-life itch. It has the added bonus of being "environmentally friendly" -- and let's face it, incinerating a corpse isn't exactly kind to Mother Nature, what with all of the ashes and soot, not to mention the amount of carbon it takes to produce enough energy to burn a body completely, believe me I know.
Essentially the promession process consists of freezing your corpse in liquid nitrogen, then shattering your frozen body, T-1000-style, with a sudden vibration. Your shattered mortal remains are freeze-dried to remove any residual moisture, then any metals are removed (including those two titanium hips that XO received a couple of years ago).
Now, XO is nothing but inert organic material -- which is pretty much what he is now -- but when he's buried, this material is readily biodegradable. The nutrients are returned to the earth to be used as worm food, plant food, or even marijuana fertilizer.
Now that's what I call dust-to-dust.
Anyway, just wanted to put this option out there. It still seems overly complicated compared to my own plan, which is to just have someone toss my bloated corpse out of moving pickup into a ditch along a lonely county road somewhere in Northwest Kansas.
tagged: death, burial, cremation, promession, corpse, body, environmentalist
Friday, July 10, 2009
Friday Blogthing: The Humans Are Dead
One of the things that takes the sting out of the cultural toilet flush we find ourselves in is the knowledge that before we have a chance to self destruct in an orgy of welfare, entitlements and celebrity worship, we will be destroyed by our own robotic creations.
Of course, they'll keep some of us around to perform basic cleaning and maintenance. I for one welcome our new robotic overlords. Consider this my job application.
tagged: Friday Blogthing, robot, cyborg name generator, video, youtube, Flight of the Conchords, The Humans Are Dead
Of course, they'll keep some of us around to perform basic cleaning and maintenance. I for one welcome our new robotic overlords. Consider this my job application.
tagged: Friday Blogthing, robot, cyborg name generator, video, youtube, Flight of the Conchords, The Humans Are Dead
Monday, July 28, 2008
First degree battery
I've been intrigued by the Tesla Motors eponymous electric car since the project was announced ages ago.
In case you've been living in your mother's basement for the last five years, the Tesla is an all-electric car that essentially runs off of power supplied by laptop computer batteries.
And while the knock on all-electric cars had been that they're underpowered and unsexy, the Tesla Roadster is based on a Lotus Elise chassis and can go from 0-60 in about five seconds.
Here's a little more info from my good friend Jay Leno:
So anyway, the point is that the car is cool. Not sure about the feasibility of driving it around KC in the dead of winter. Seems like the batteries might not survive the minus 10 ba-billion degrees average temperature. Ah well, room for improvement I guess.
What I really wanted to pass on (in case you haven't read) is that over the weekend the Tesla hit another milestone in that all American cars face -- it's first road accident.
Evidently, the driver was out for a spin when he was rear ended (since it was an electric car, it may have been the shocker) by another vehicle, thus causing a reaction whereby the Tesla hit the car in front of it (a Mercedes, I think).
And I gotta say, judging from the pictures, it appears the Tesla Roadster came through it in pretty good shape.
It's a good sign for the future of transportation. As soon as I make my third million dollars, I'll buy a Tesla and let you guys drive it around and see for yourself.
Until then, Tesla continues to rule.
tagged: Nicola Tesla, Testla Roadster, crash, Hand Me Down World, Jay Leno, electric, environmentalist
In case you've been living in your mother's basement for the last five years, the Tesla is an all-electric car that essentially runs off of power supplied by laptop computer batteries.
And while the knock on all-electric cars had been that they're underpowered and unsexy, the Tesla Roadster is based on a Lotus Elise chassis and can go from 0-60 in about five seconds.
Here's a little more info from my good friend Jay Leno:
So anyway, the point is that the car is cool. Not sure about the feasibility of driving it around KC in the dead of winter. Seems like the batteries might not survive the minus 10 ba-billion degrees average temperature. Ah well, room for improvement I guess.
What I really wanted to pass on (in case you haven't read) is that over the weekend the Tesla hit another milestone in that all American cars face -- it's first road accident.Evidently, the driver was out for a spin when he was rear ended (since it was an electric car, it may have been the shocker) by another vehicle, thus causing a reaction whereby the Tesla hit the car in front of it (a Mercedes, I think).
And I gotta say, judging from the pictures, it appears the Tesla Roadster came through it in pretty good shape.
It's a good sign for the future of transportation. As soon as I make my third million dollars, I'll buy a Tesla and let you guys drive it around and see for yourself.
Until then, Tesla continues to rule.
tagged: Nicola Tesla, Testla Roadster, crash, Hand Me Down World, Jay Leno, electric, environmentalist
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Coppers and robbers
Northlanders should take this as a hint.
Hell, AT&T should, too.
For the second time in the last few weeks, someone swiped a length of telephone line, presumably to sell the copper wire therein.
The message is this: Get with the freakin' times, man!
This the 21st century! It's almost 2010, fer cryin' out loud. And we may not have flying cars (yet), but we've had wireless telephone technology for the last 20 years.
Buy a cell phone.
There are great deals out there. The networks are solid and with copper wire pushing $4 a pound (that's like five times more expensive than air) it just seems more efficient to go wireless.
I'm telling you, in this day and age, there's no reason to be connected by a wire to anything.
Just make sure you have an extra battery.
tagged: copper, wire, thieves, cell phone, ATT, telephone, outage
Hell, AT&T should, too.
For the second time in the last few weeks, someone swiped a length of telephone line, presumably to sell the copper wire therein.
This is the second phone outage caused by copper thieves in recent weeks. On March 29, thieves stole several hundred feet of cable from 43rd Street and Pittman Road in Kansas City. ...This is a sign to AT&T -- and all of you Luddites for that matter -- who are still living in the 1960s (the decade in which the aforementioned telephone lines were installed).
Meanwhile, the demand for copper is on the rise and the price could rise to $5 a pound in six months. Currently, copper costs $3.85 a pound.
The message is this: Get with the freakin' times, man!
This the 21st century! It's almost 2010, fer cryin' out loud. And we may not have flying cars (yet), but we've had wireless telephone technology for the last 20 years.
Buy a cell phone.
There are great deals out there. The networks are solid and with copper wire pushing $4 a pound (that's like five times more expensive than air) it just seems more efficient to go wireless.
I'm telling you, in this day and age, there's no reason to be connected by a wire to anything.
Just make sure you have an extra battery.
tagged: copper, wire, thieves, cell phone, ATT, telephone, outage
Thursday, April 03, 2008
(No hippie)
I'm really looking forward to Saturday morning. It will be my chance to jettison some personal detritus that has been taking up space in my basement and weighing on my mind.
About a year ago, our Aiwa home theater tuner burned out. A few months earlier out ink jet printer shot craps. Both items have survived a garage sale or two (evidently nobody wants to buy broken junk) and the dumpster.
You see, even though I'm not a damn dirty hippie I just can't bring myself to toss those old useless electronics into the trash. I mean, I dropped a nice wad of bills for those things, and I have to believe there's still some value left in them.
So for the last few months they've been sitting in a corner of my basement, taking up valuable space that could be better used in my basement pot-growing enterprise.
But Saturday, that will change.
The city of Overland Park is having an electronics recycling event at Shawnee Mission North High School (7401 Johnson Drive). You can bring old computers, keyboards, mice, VCRs (what the hell are those?), stereo equipment, scanners, printers and electronic vibrating anal plugs (Chimpo), and they'll take them off your hands free of charge.
According to the press release, OP collected 62,000 pounds (that's 3 Jason Whitlocks!) worth of recyclable crap at last year's event.
Here's a little more info
tagged: recycle, electronics, hippie, Jason Whitlock, ecology, Overland Park, environmentalist
About a year ago, our Aiwa home theater tuner burned out. A few months earlier out ink jet printer shot craps. Both items have survived a garage sale or two (evidently nobody wants to buy broken junk) and the dumpster.
You see, even though I'm not a damn dirty hippie I just can't bring myself to toss those old useless electronics into the trash. I mean, I dropped a nice wad of bills for those things, and I have to believe there's still some value left in them.
So for the last few months they've been sitting in a corner of my basement, taking up valuable space that could be better used in my basement pot-growing enterprise.
But Saturday, that will change.
The city of Overland Park is having an electronics recycling event at Shawnee Mission North High School (7401 Johnson Drive). You can bring old computers, keyboards, mice, VCRs (what the hell are those?), stereo equipment, scanners, printers and electronic vibrating anal plugs (Chimpo), and they'll take them off your hands free of charge.
According to the press release, OP collected 62,000 pounds (that's 3 Jason Whitlocks!) worth of recyclable crap at last year's event.
Here's a little more info
Electronic devices can contain significant amounts of hazardous or toxic substances.So if you're trying to be more ecological by living like a caveman for an hour, or keeping your ill-gotten cash (you capitalist pigdog scum!) in a plastic billfold, or even rooting through your own filth for recyclables everyday, why not add electronics recycling to your hippie lifestyle?
Cathode ray tubes found in most computer monitors and TVs contain significant amounts of lead while other equipment may contain mercury, cadmium, chromium and other heavy metals. When electronic devices are disposed of, these pollutants may pose environmental risks.
tagged: recycle, electronics, hippie, Jason Whitlock, ecology, Overland Park, environmentalist
Monday, March 03, 2008
Lost Tales of 3AM, Part II: Phone Home
The Midwest Express Boeing 717 was on its way down the tarmac, lining up for takeoff. I had already placed my stewardess in her original upright and locked position, and my carry-on luggage was safely placed under the seat in front of me.
As we lifted off out of KCI (MCI for those pilots out there), I went through the process of turning off and stowing all my portable electronic devices. That's when it hit me: I still need to turn off my phone. But where is my phone? Not in my shirt pocket. Not in my pants pocket. Not in any of the pockets of my coat.
Panic sets it. I left it at the boarding gate at the airport. Crap. I specifically remember using it to check messaging just before the final boarding call came. I must have set it down on the seat next to me while I packed up my Toshiba Tecra POS craptop that I'd been using for some last-minute emailing/porn surfing.
I flag down the flight attendant to see if there’s any chance of getting a message back to the gate. Unfortunately, we’re in the air and “out of range” so I’ll just have to wait until we land in New York.
So I’ve got two and a half hours to fret about my phone.
Now, you have to understand that I have a kick-ass phone. It’s wafer thin but still has a 2MB camera and enough processor power to allow me to watch TV, get Gmail, Google calendar and read all your blogs while waiting in line at the Korean massage parlor.
But still, what worries me most is the loss of all of the data and contacts I’ve collected over the past six years. If I have to get a new phone, it would be a pain in the ass to input the numbers to all of my business contacts, family, friends and lawyer/bondsman/bookie.
My first stop when I get to La Guardia is at Midwest gate. I explain the situation to the gate agent who looks at me like I just asked him to donate a kidney. With a great deal of effort, he somehow manages to pick up the phone and dial the Midwest gate in KC.
With a great deal of additional effort, he explains my situation to the party on the other end of the phone and then sets about the task of waiting on hold. I could tell by his increasingly labored breathing that he was having a difficult time staying on hold, and he finally hands me the receiver, allowing me to take over.
After a minute or two a voice answers from KC.
“I’m sorry but I haven’t been able to reach the gate agent that was working when you left. Can you give me a number to call in case your phone turns up?”
Defeated, I give her my Supermodel Wife’s cell phone number. At this point I know that I’ll probably never see the phone again.
I arrive at my hotel on Times Square. From my room I dial up the SMW to let her know that she might get a call from Midwest.
“Hey,” she says when she answers. “I just got a call from Midwest saying that they have your phone.”
When I finish my happy dance, I ask my SMW to get me the number for my business associate, Angelina Jolie, who is scheduled to join me in NYC for a conference the next day.
“Hey Angelina Jolie, it’s Emawkc…”
“Hey Emawkc! Guess what… I have your phone!”
It turns out that while I was reading about Harry Potter’s wand (ewe) in SkyMall, one of my NYC business associates, Brad Pitt, had called my phone. The Midwest gate agent had answered and told Brad Pitt that my phone had been left at the gate mere minutes earlier.
This news set off an avalanche of email within my company which eventually ended in the in-box of Angelina Jolie, who was at KCI early enough to stop by the Lost And Found desk near baggage claim and pick up my phone for me.
So after all of the fretting, phone calling and emailing, all that was left for me to do was head up to the hotel lounge and sip Glenlivet while watching the activity on Times Square and waiting for my phone to arrive a few hours later.
I love it when things work out.
tagged: travel, Midwest Express, New York, mobile phone, Glenlivet, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, lost and found
As we lifted off out of KCI (MCI for those pilots out there), I went through the process of turning off and stowing all my portable electronic devices. That's when it hit me: I still need to turn off my phone. But where is my phone? Not in my shirt pocket. Not in my pants pocket. Not in any of the pockets of my coat.
Panic sets it. I left it at the boarding gate at the airport. Crap. I specifically remember using it to check messaging just before the final boarding call came. I must have set it down on the seat next to me while I packed up my Toshiba Tecra POS craptop that I'd been using for some last-minute emailing/porn surfing.
I flag down the flight attendant to see if there’s any chance of getting a message back to the gate. Unfortunately, we’re in the air and “out of range” so I’ll just have to wait until we land in New York.
So I’ve got two and a half hours to fret about my phone.
Now, you have to understand that I have a kick-ass phone. It’s wafer thin but still has a 2MB camera and enough processor power to allow me to watch TV, get Gmail, Google calendar and read all your blogs while waiting in line at the Korean massage parlor.
But still, what worries me most is the loss of all of the data and contacts I’ve collected over the past six years. If I have to get a new phone, it would be a pain in the ass to input the numbers to all of my business contacts, family, friends and lawyer/bondsman/bookie.
My first stop when I get to La Guardia is at Midwest gate. I explain the situation to the gate agent who looks at me like I just asked him to donate a kidney. With a great deal of effort, he somehow manages to pick up the phone and dial the Midwest gate in KC.
With a great deal of additional effort, he explains my situation to the party on the other end of the phone and then sets about the task of waiting on hold. I could tell by his increasingly labored breathing that he was having a difficult time staying on hold, and he finally hands me the receiver, allowing me to take over.
After a minute or two a voice answers from KC.
“I’m sorry but I haven’t been able to reach the gate agent that was working when you left. Can you give me a number to call in case your phone turns up?”
Defeated, I give her my Supermodel Wife’s cell phone number. At this point I know that I’ll probably never see the phone again.
I arrive at my hotel on Times Square. From my room I dial up the SMW to let her know that she might get a call from Midwest.
“Hey,” she says when she answers. “I just got a call from Midwest saying that they have your phone.”
When I finish my happy dance, I ask my SMW to get me the number for my business associate, Angelina Jolie, who is scheduled to join me in NYC for a conference the next day.“Hey Angelina Jolie, it’s Emawkc…”
“Hey Emawkc! Guess what… I have your phone!”
It turns out that while I was reading about Harry Potter’s wand (ewe) in SkyMall, one of my NYC business associates, Brad Pitt, had called my phone. The Midwest gate agent had answered and told Brad Pitt that my phone had been left at the gate mere minutes earlier.This news set off an avalanche of email within my company which eventually ended in the in-box of Angelina Jolie, who was at KCI early enough to stop by the Lost And Found desk near baggage claim and pick up my phone for me.
So after all of the fretting, phone calling and emailing, all that was left for me to do was head up to the hotel lounge and sip Glenlivet while watching the activity on Times Square and waiting for my phone to arrive a few hours later.
I love it when things work out.
tagged: travel, Midwest Express, New York, mobile phone, Glenlivet, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, lost and found
Monday, July 02, 2007
YouTube Special: iPhool and her money
Here's the scenario: You pay some skinny twerp $800 for his spot at the front of the iPhone line. You go in to buy all of the iPhones in the store with the plan of selling them for profit on eBay.
And, ACTION:
Capitalism can be a bitch.
tagged: movies, YouTube, video, comedy, news, culture, ebay, iPhone
And, ACTION:
Capitalism can be a bitch.
tagged: movies, YouTube, video, comedy, news, culture, ebay, iPhone
Thursday, April 26, 2007
How cool is this
I've previously posted how much I love writing/sketching in my Moleskine. It's old-school bohemian groovyness is just good for the soul.Now thanks to this guy I can transfer that goodness to my computers with a hard disk enclosure.
Check out the slide show here.via engadget
tagged: Moleskine, digital, technology, engadget, gadget
Friday, March 23, 2007
Victory for wanking and free speech
I wanted to give a shout out to the federal judge in Philadelphia who dealt another blow to government efforts to control Internet pornography.
In overturning a 1998 U.S. law which makes it a crime for commercial website operators to let children access "harmful" material, Judge Lowell Reed Jr. essentially said the right of free speech outweighs parents' rights to have the government raise their pervy kids.
In his opinion, Reed wrote:
I contend that if you’re a parent and you're worried about your kid seeing pornography on the internet, then you're probably already "with it" enough to use any of the myriad of blockers and filters available to prevent that sort of thing.
Besides, as the article points out there are bigger concerns for parents of connected kids to worry about such as predators on social networking sites like MySpace, identity theft through spyware, and the contagious geezerhood of Larry Moore.
tagged: free, speech , wanking, porn , Larry Moore, Judge Lowell Reed, internet
In overturning a 1998 U.S. law which makes it a crime for commercial website operators to let children access "harmful" material, Judge Lowell Reed Jr. essentially said the right of free speech outweighs parents' rights to have the government raise their pervy kids.
In his opinion, Reed wrote:
"Perhaps we do the minors of this country harm if (free speech) protections, which they will with age inherit fully, are chipped away in the name of their protection."That's a good point. Everybody just needs to ease up a little and keep things in perspective.
I contend that if you’re a parent and you're worried about your kid seeing pornography on the internet, then you're probably already "with it" enough to use any of the myriad of blockers and filters available to prevent that sort of thing.
Besides, as the article points out there are bigger concerns for parents of connected kids to worry about such as predators on social networking sites like MySpace, identity theft through spyware, and the contagious geezerhood of Larry Moore.
tagged: free, speech , wanking, porn , Larry Moore, Judge Lowell Reed, internet
Friday, January 12, 2007
And that settles that
When I was grade school, a good friend of mine was the first kid in our town to get a video tape player.
His dad was kind of a gadget guy, an "early adopter" as the marketing gurus say. They were also the first family to have a video camera, and a cell phone (which, back then, came in the form of a small bag that you would sling over your shoulder, and you had to put an antenna on top of your car for it to work).
Anyway, they spent hundreds (maybe even a thousand) of dollars on this video tape player and we all thought it was so cool how you could watch a movie at home without commercials. You could rewind, fast forward. It was all very cutting edge. But eventually, we got tired of watching the same movie over and over again.
That's when my friend's dad realized he had invested in the wrong technology. We had been watching a Betamax player, and it didn't take long to see that VHS had won the format war.
I bring this up because we technophiles were facing a similar showdown until today.
The war was between which high-definition video format would succeed the standard-def DVD. On one side was HD DVD, on the other was Blu-ray. Sure, there were efforts to work together to come to a consensus. But like the battle between the Galactic Empire and the Rebel Alliance, no solution was forthcoming.
Until today. The multi-billion dollar porn industry has stepped in to put and end to the destructive conflict by adopting the HD DVD format for your late-night wanking pleasure.
The importance of this development would be difficult to overestimate. Despite the lip service (pun intended) paid to morals and family values in the US, Americans were estimated to spend as much as $8 to $10 billion on pornography in 2003.
And it's axiomatic that, from a technological standpoint, where the porn industry goes, the rest of American follows. Arguably, the porn industry deserves credit for most of the advance in high-speed internet content delivery technology, and possibly the internet itself.
So here's a twenty-one tissue salute to the porn industry for solving yet another social problem.
tagged: technology, culture, video, movie, porn, industry, Blu-ray, HD DVD
His dad was kind of a gadget guy, an "early adopter" as the marketing gurus say. They were also the first family to have a video camera, and a cell phone (which, back then, came in the form of a small bag that you would sling over your shoulder, and you had to put an antenna on top of your car for it to work).
Anyway, they spent hundreds (maybe even a thousand) of dollars on this video tape player and we all thought it was so cool how you could watch a movie at home without commercials. You could rewind, fast forward. It was all very cutting edge. But eventually, we got tired of watching the same movie over and over again.
That's when my friend's dad realized he had invested in the wrong technology. We had been watching a Betamax player, and it didn't take long to see that VHS had won the format war.
I bring this up because we technophiles were facing a similar showdown until today.
The war was between which high-definition video format would succeed the standard-def DVD. On one side was HD DVD, on the other was Blu-ray. Sure, there were efforts to work together to come to a consensus. But like the battle between the Galactic Empire and the Rebel Alliance, no solution was forthcoming.
Until today. The multi-billion dollar porn industry has stepped in to put and end to the destructive conflict by adopting the HD DVD format for your late-night wanking pleasure.
The importance of this development would be difficult to overestimate. Despite the lip service (pun intended) paid to morals and family values in the US, Americans were estimated to spend as much as $8 to $10 billion on pornography in 2003.
And it's axiomatic that, from a technological standpoint, where the porn industry goes, the rest of American follows. Arguably, the porn industry deserves credit for most of the advance in high-speed internet content delivery technology, and possibly the internet itself.
So here's a twenty-one tissue salute to the porn industry for solving yet another social problem.
tagged: technology, culture, video, movie, porn, industry, Blu-ray, HD DVD
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Or not TV
A few weeks ago my supermodel wife and I said goodbye to a long family friend. Craig had been a member of our household for as long as we’ve had a household.
Through five major relocations, major life decisions, career changes, new family members (and lost family members) and all of the major national events over the past 13 years, Craig was with us.
Craig is the off-brand name of the generic 19-inch television set I bought for $180 bucks through the Alco employee discount layaway program when I was in college.
We knew Craig’s time must be coming. I mean, I didn’t expect the off-brand import to last more than 5 years. Balls to Korean electrical engineers, I guess.
But alas, a couple of weeks ago a click from the ‘on’ button of the remote was met with a snap, crackle, pop and no picture.
It was a sad moment, but life goes on. It gave us the opportunity to do something we rarely do: drop a ton of money on an impulse buy.
After a quick consultation where we decided that if our TV is going to last for 15 years, let’s get some really kick-ass technology, we hit a sale at Nebraska Furniture Mart. We dropped $1400 on a 42-inch widescreen Samsung rear-projection LCD DLP high-definition television.
It took a couple of days to get the upgraded HD cable box from Time Warner. But when we did, holy crap the picture is good. I was never a huge hockey fan, but I watching hockey in HD is an incredible experience. You can literally see the details as if you’re there, but with a great zoom lens and amazing camera angles.
Baseball is the same (except when the Royals are playing). It’s a whole new level of engagement.
Movies look amazing. I can see why theaters like AMC are losing money. Batman Begins was airing on HBOHD (the HD is for High Definition—duh!) and the picture is incredible.
In fact, pretty much everything looks better and more dynamic, the news, talk shows like Letterman, movies and especially sports. Everything that is, except World Cup Soccer.
That’s still incredibly boring.
tagged: TV, television, HD, high definition, movies, theater, World Cup, soccer, Samsung
Through five major relocations, major life decisions, career changes, new family members (and lost family members) and all of the major national events over the past 13 years, Craig was with us.
Craig is the off-brand name of the generic 19-inch television set I bought for $180 bucks through the Alco employee discount layaway program when I was in college.
We knew Craig’s time must be coming. I mean, I didn’t expect the off-brand import to last more than 5 years. Balls to Korean electrical engineers, I guess.
But alas, a couple of weeks ago a click from the ‘on’ button of the remote was met with a snap, crackle, pop and no picture.
It was a sad moment, but life goes on. It gave us the opportunity to do something we rarely do: drop a ton of money on an impulse buy.
After a quick consultation where we decided that if our TV is going to last for 15 years, let’s get some really kick-ass technology, we hit a sale at Nebraska Furniture Mart. We dropped $1400 on a 42-inch widescreen Samsung rear-projection LCD DLP high-definition television.
It took a couple of days to get the upgraded HD cable box from Time Warner. But when we did, holy crap the picture is good. I was never a huge hockey fan, but I watching hockey in HD is an incredible experience. You can literally see the details as if you’re there, but with a great zoom lens and amazing camera angles.
Baseball is the same (except when the Royals are playing). It’s a whole new level of engagement.
Movies look amazing. I can see why theaters like AMC are losing money. Batman Begins was airing on HBOHD (the HD is for High Definition—duh!) and the picture is incredible.
In fact, pretty much everything looks better and more dynamic, the news, talk shows like Letterman, movies and especially sports. Everything that is, except World Cup Soccer.
That’s still incredibly boring.
tagged: TV, television, HD, high definition, movies, theater, World Cup, soccer, Samsung
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Holy CrApple!
Apple computers announced today that they will distribute software that will allow you to install Windows on new Macintosh computers.As a long-time Macintosh and MacOS fan, I'm blown away by this announcement. It just seems so superfluous. I mean, the whole point of buying a Mac is so that you don't have to use that gawd-awful Windoze OS.
Installing Windoze on a Mac is like putting rancid mayonnaise on a perfectly cooked fillet mignon, or spending $80 on a bottle of Brunello, then mixing it with 7-Up. Would you buy a Ferrari then paint a Confederate flag on the roof, install a horn that plays Dixie and call it the General Lee?
I'm trying to think of other things that might be comparable. Being invited to Osama Bin Ladden's nephew's bar mitzva, maybe?
It just doesn't seem right, somehow.
Surely these are the end times.
tagged: Apple, Macintosh, Mac OS, Boot Camp, Microsoft, Windows, Ferrari, Brunello, Osama Bin Laden
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