yer salty hide can't outdo
my two eyepatches
tagged: humor, haiku, Talk Like a Pirate, poetry, Arrrrrr
Friday, September 19, 2008
Pirate haiku
In honor of ITLAP Day:
I be more pirate
yer salty hide can't outdo
my two eyepatches
tagged: humor, haiku, Talk Like a Pirate, poetry, Arrrrrr
yer salty hide can't outdo
my two eyepatches
tagged: humor, haiku, Talk Like a Pirate, poetry, Arrrrrr
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Galtian response
I was having a virtual conversation with a couple of guys the other day after the So-Called Government announced the $64 brajillion bailout of AIG.
I was going off on an irrational rant (as I am known to do) about how the So-Called Government is always bailing everyone out and that’s why people had no problem borrowing more than they could even unreasonably afford knowing that the So-Called Government would be there to buy them outif when the financial shit inevitably hits the fan.
This guy rightly pointed out that most people didn't "know" the government would bail them out of their mortgages, although the banks probably knew the So-Called Government WOULD bail THEM out.
This is true, and I forgot to give props for that. So, Bull, yes. You’re right that most people didn't consciously and premeditatively go into their super-balloon payment ARM mortgages with the idea of ripping off the bank and the taxpayer.
But I guess what I and an unfortunately small minority of others are so frustrated about is this on-going and really unacknowledged dependence that the American Public has developed on the So-Called Government.
Run your auto company into the ground? Don’t worry, the So-Called Government will fix it. Airline tanking? Don’t worry, the So-Called Government will give you some money.
Did your bank lose a bundle in a mortgage pyramid scheme? Hey, no problem, the So-Called Government is buying mortgage companies this week.
You say your house was destroyed in a hurricane because you built it below sea level? Let the So-Called Government help you rebuild it under sea level again.
Look people, let’s not kid ourselves into thinking we don’t live in a socialist republic. Hell, I'm not even so sure about the "republic" part anymore. Everyone is on the public dole, from the richest corporate CEO’s to the rural beet farmer.
And the majority of people seem to think that’s okay.
Years ago I read Atlas Shrugged. Now, I know the pseudo-philosophy of Ayn Rand has been roundly debunked, but I can’t help feeling like we’re living the plot of that (at times tedious) novel. How long before the few, productive members of society just get sick of funding the moochers.
In the book, the So-Called Government took over more and more industries – banking, steel, mining, transportation – for the good of the people of course. Finally the productive people said “fuckit” and started their own country in wild and unexplored Colorado.
Reading the novel, I remember thinking Rand was a passable writer and the concepts are interesting food for thought on a conceptual level. The characters were pretty melodramatic, one-dimensional and not very complex, so I never really attributed any real-world significance to them.
After the last few months, I’m not so sure.
Anyone have any unused ranch land in Colorado for sale?
tagged: economy, politics, culture, America, government, Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
I was going off on an irrational rant (as I am known to do) about how the So-Called Government is always bailing everyone out and that’s why people had no problem borrowing more than they could even unreasonably afford knowing that the So-Called Government would be there to buy them out
This guy rightly pointed out that most people didn't "know" the government would bail them out of their mortgages, although the banks probably knew the So-Called Government WOULD bail THEM out.
This is true, and I forgot to give props for that. So, Bull, yes. You’re right that most people didn't consciously and premeditatively go into their super-balloon payment ARM mortgages with the idea of ripping off the bank and the taxpayer.
But I guess what I and an unfortunately small minority of others are so frustrated about is this on-going and really unacknowledged dependence that the American Public has developed on the So-Called Government.
Run your auto company into the ground? Don’t worry, the So-Called Government will fix it. Airline tanking? Don’t worry, the So-Called Government will give you some money.
Did your bank lose a bundle in a mortgage pyramid scheme? Hey, no problem, the So-Called Government is buying mortgage companies this week.
You say your house was destroyed in a hurricane because you built it below sea level? Let the So-Called Government help you rebuild it under sea level again.
Look people, let’s not kid ourselves into thinking we don’t live in a socialist republic. Hell, I'm not even so sure about the "republic" part anymore. Everyone is on the public dole, from the richest corporate CEO’s to the rural beet farmer.
And the majority of people seem to think that’s okay.
Years ago I read Atlas Shrugged. Now, I know the pseudo-philosophy of Ayn Rand has been roundly debunked, but I can’t help feeling like we’re living the plot of that (at times tedious) novel. How long before the few, productive members of society just get sick of funding the moochers.In the book, the So-Called Government took over more and more industries – banking, steel, mining, transportation – for the good of the people of course. Finally the productive people said “fuckit” and started their own country in wild and unexplored Colorado.
Reading the novel, I remember thinking Rand was a passable writer and the concepts are interesting food for thought on a conceptual level. The characters were pretty melodramatic, one-dimensional and not very complex, so I never really attributed any real-world significance to them.
After the last few months, I’m not so sure.
Anyone have any unused ranch land in Colorado for sale?
tagged: economy, politics, culture, America, government, Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
YouTube Tuesday: I just wanna Fly
The year was 1986. A gallon of gas cost 89 cents, and Mikhail Gorbachev was the second-most popular Mikhail in America. The Bangles taught us to Walk Like an Egyptian, while Robert Palmer (R.I.P.) was Addicted to Love.
America was in recovery after the destruction of the Space Shuttle Challenger. We were introspective, searching for a return to simpler times, and veteran film director David Cronenberg was doing his part, taking a classic mad scientist movie and updating it for the glamorous '80s.
The Fly was one of my favorite movies from the period (sure, some of my contemporaries are nostalgic about the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, but I found Freddy to be just a bit too one dimensional when compared with the multifaceted complexity of Seth Brundle).
Anyway, now in the midst of a national malaise, Cronenberg returns again with a new adaptation of The Fly -- on stage at the Los Angeles Opera. The Fly The Opera features original music by the film's soundtrack composer, Howard Shore (who also did Lord of the Rings), and is conducted by Placido Domingo.
I'll be checking this out next time I'm in LA-LA Land.
tagged: 1986, The Fly, movie, video, YouTube, pop culture, opera, David Cronenberg, Howard Shore
America was in recovery after the destruction of the Space Shuttle Challenger. We were introspective, searching for a return to simpler times, and veteran film director David Cronenberg was doing his part, taking a classic mad scientist movie and updating it for the glamorous '80s.
The Fly was one of my favorite movies from the period (sure, some of my contemporaries are nostalgic about the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, but I found Freddy to be just a bit too one dimensional when compared with the multifaceted complexity of Seth Brundle).
Anyway, now in the midst of a national malaise, Cronenberg returns again with a new adaptation of The Fly -- on stage at the Los Angeles Opera. The Fly The Opera features original music by the film's soundtrack composer, Howard Shore (who also did Lord of the Rings), and is conducted by Placido Domingo.
I'll be checking this out next time I'm in LA-LA Land.
tagged: 1986, The Fly, movie, video, YouTube, pop culture, opera, David Cronenberg, Howard Shore
Monday, September 15, 2008
Man Grabs a Log III
Hey everybody! It's that time of year again! Back for its third annual installment...
It's (cue the Monty Python theme music...)
Emawkc's 3rd Annual Blog Anagram Game!!!
Yes sir, you heard right. It's the most popular 3rd Annual Blog Anagram Game!!! in the blogospheriverse.
If this is your first time participating in the 3rd Annual Blog Anagram Game!!!, then you are in for a treat. Here's a quick recap of the rules:
And as if giving you the answers doesn't make it easy enough, here's another hint: None of the blogs used last year or the year before are used this year.
I don't know how it could possibly be easier. And it certainly couldn't be more fun (unless you were naked).
Okay, here are this year's anagrams. Good luck.
**As usual, no actual prizes will be given. You should know me better than that.
tagged: blog, game, anagram, fun
It's (cue the Monty Python theme music...)
Emawkc's 3rd Annual Blog Anagram Game!!!
Yes sir, you heard right. It's the most popular 3rd Annual Blog Anagram Game!!! in the blogospheriverse.
If this is your first time participating in the 3rd Annual Blog Anagram Game!!!, then you are in for a treat. Here's a quick recap of the rules:
Below is a list of 10 blog titles in anagram form (anigramified, if you will). Your assignment, should you choose not to puss out, is to decode the anagrams and leave a comment with the answer.But wait, you say you suck at word games? Don't worry my friend, this game is designed to put the odds in your favor. All of the animgramified blogs below are listed in the blogroll to the left.
Each time someone correctly decodes a title, you get a point. I'll link to the respective blog once its anagrammed title has been decoded. The commenter with the most points will win bragging rights, link love and lots of fabulous prizes**.
And as if giving you the answers doesn't make it easy enough, here's another hint: None of the blogs used last year or the year before are used this year.
I don't know how it could possibly be easier. And it certainly couldn't be more fun (unless you were naked).
Okay, here are this year's anagrams. Good luck.
*Yes, the title of this post is actually and anagram for "blog anagrams" -- I'm so fricken clever I scare myself.
**As usual, no actual prizes will be given. You should know me better than that.
tagged: blog, game, anagram, fun
Friday, September 12, 2008
Friday Blogthing: Rainy Day Women Sept. 12
This one seemed particularly apropos today.
tagged: Friday, blogthing, rain, umbrella, black, quiz, blog, meme
What Your Black Umbrella Says About You |
 You are naturally powerful and commanding. People look to you to take charge. You are elegant and classy. You know how to always say and do the right thing. While you stand out, you also fit it. You thrive in a variety of situations. On a rainy day: you carry on as normal - a little bad weather isn't going to get in your way! |
tagged: Friday, blogthing, rain, umbrella, black, quiz, blog, meme
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Bumper? Hell I just met her.
The panicked squeal of the dog was followed instantly by the sound of something dragging behind my car along the gravel driveway.
I immediately stopped, fearing the death (or at least serious dismemberment) of one of my parents two Labradors. The two dogs, one a highly intelligent jet black lab named Rain and the other a chocolate lab named B.U.D. (acronym for Brown Ugly Dog) had run across the driveway as we pulled in for a Labor Day visit.
I had slowed down to let them pass before continuing to a parking place. I knew that as long as Rain was the leader, everything should be fine.
B.U.D. was a different story. He couldn't be trusted to make good decisions.
I'm not sure how much in-breeding there is in his questionable lineage. I just know that in the parlance of rural Kansas, he's dumber than a bag of hair.
So when I heard the loud canine yelp and the dragging sound from the rear of the car, my first thought was that I was going to have to perform an act of euthanasia on a half-wit dog that had decided to lay down under my car.
I actually felt sorry for the poor beast as I shifted the car into Park, and I wondered how I would explain this to the five-year-old dog lover in the backseat.
My entire perspective changed when I saw what was lying on the ground behind my car. The plastic bumper (which is actually the bumper cover) was torn from the driver's side, just behind the rear tire, across the back of the car and was dangling by a few plastic clips on the passenger's side rear.
A chocolate Brown Ugly Dog, was sitting nearby, dumbly drooling and wagging his tail, seeming almost proud of the destruction he had caused. It didn't take the intelligence of a black lab to quickly size up the situation:
The two dogs had run across the driveway in front of my car. But B.U.D. was latched to a dog cable, probably due to his severe stupidity to keep him from roaming the countryside and running out to greet oncoming semi trucks on the highway a quarter-mile away.
So when he crossed the driveway, he took the cable attached to his neck with him. My car tires rolled over the cable -- front tires first, then rear tires. As soon as the cable cleared the rear tires, the dog pulled tight on the line. It became stuck on the rear fender and easily pulled the entire bumper cover off the car.
What I initially took for a yelp of panic, probably was a yelp of triumph. A canine half-wit's way of saying "Hurray, look what I did!"
So after a few minutes of suppressing my cursing reflex, I made the call to AAA. I gave them the info, they said get and estimate on Tuesday and they'll cover the cost of the repair (after I pay my $500 deductible, of course).
So it takes a couple of weeks for the body shop to get the parts in and get the work done. I'm supposed to pick up my car with a shiny new bumper cover today, and I'm only out $500 bucks.
Oh, and just to prove that God's Irony Ray was aimed squarely at me, this all happened the week after we made the final payment on the car.
Hilarious.
tagged: car, accident, bumper, dog, body shop
I immediately stopped, fearing the death (or at least serious dismemberment) of one of my parents two Labradors. The two dogs, one a highly intelligent jet black lab named Rain and the other a chocolate lab named B.U.D. (acronym for Brown Ugly Dog) had run across the driveway as we pulled in for a Labor Day visit.
I had slowed down to let them pass before continuing to a parking place. I knew that as long as Rain was the leader, everything should be fine.
B.U.D. was a different story. He couldn't be trusted to make good decisions.I'm not sure how much in-breeding there is in his questionable lineage. I just know that in the parlance of rural Kansas, he's dumber than a bag of hair.
So when I heard the loud canine yelp and the dragging sound from the rear of the car, my first thought was that I was going to have to perform an act of euthanasia on a half-wit dog that had decided to lay down under my car.
I actually felt sorry for the poor beast as I shifted the car into Park, and I wondered how I would explain this to the five-year-old dog lover in the backseat.
My entire perspective changed when I saw what was lying on the ground behind my car. The plastic bumper (which is actually the bumper cover) was torn from the driver's side, just behind the rear tire, across the back of the car and was dangling by a few plastic clips on the passenger's side rear.
A chocolate Brown Ugly Dog, was sitting nearby, dumbly drooling and wagging his tail, seeming almost proud of the destruction he had caused. It didn't take the intelligence of a black lab to quickly size up the situation:The two dogs had run across the driveway in front of my car. But B.U.D. was latched to a dog cable, probably due to his severe stupidity to keep him from roaming the countryside and running out to greet oncoming semi trucks on the highway a quarter-mile away.
So when he crossed the driveway, he took the cable attached to his neck with him. My car tires rolled over the cable -- front tires first, then rear tires. As soon as the cable cleared the rear tires, the dog pulled tight on the line. It became stuck on the rear fender and easily pulled the entire bumper cover off the car.
What I initially took for a yelp of panic, probably was a yelp of triumph. A canine half-wit's way of saying "Hurray, look what I did!"
So after a few minutes of suppressing my cursing reflex, I made the call to AAA. I gave them the info, they said get and estimate on Tuesday and they'll cover the cost of the repair (after I pay my $500 deductible, of course).
So it takes a couple of weeks for the body shop to get the parts in and get the work done. I'm supposed to pick up my car with a shiny new bumper cover today, and I'm only out $500 bucks.
Oh, and just to prove that God's Irony Ray was aimed squarely at me, this all happened the week after we made the final payment on the car.
Hilarious.
tagged: car, accident, bumper, dog, body shop
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
YouTube Tuesday: TrueBlood
With all the excitement, no wait, that's not the right word, let's try this... With all of the tedium caused by the Barrack McCain and John Obama campaigns, my Supermodel Wife and I opted to watch different and more entertaining blood suckers on Sunday.
We watched the premier of the new HBO series TrueBlood. From Alan Ball, the creator of Six Feet Under, the series is set in a world where a synthetic blood equivalent allows vampires to "come out of the coffin" and demand equal rights with mortals.
While it wasn't a thrill a minute, it was an order of magnitude more interesting than watching the vampires on the political stage suck the soul out of America.
tagged: HBO, True Blood, television, video, YouTube, pop culture
We watched the premier of the new HBO series TrueBlood. From Alan Ball, the creator of Six Feet Under, the series is set in a world where a synthetic blood equivalent allows vampires to "come out of the coffin" and demand equal rights with mortals.While it wasn't a thrill a minute, it was an order of magnitude more interesting than watching the vampires on the political stage suck the soul out of America.
tagged: HBO, True Blood, television, video, YouTube, pop culture
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