YouTube Tuesday: The Great Pumpkinhead

Self deception is one thing, but self deception by way of pumpkin is a whole new level of stoopid.



tagged: pumpkin, carving, movie, video, YouTube, pop culture, Obama, politics, election

As seen in Kansas: The answer, my friend...

It was an impressive site, even from 10 miles away.

The crystal clear sky and the straight and horizontal nature of I-70 west of Salina made the turbines of the Smokey Hills Wind Project visible long before we were actually along side it.

I'd been hearing about the wind farm project for months, and we had been as far west a Salina a couple of times but never drove the extra 20 miles to see it for ourselves.

So we took advantage of some free time while visiting the in-laws this past weekend to do just that.

The approach to the giant, electricity producing windmills is impressive. Whizzing past at 75 miles per hour on I-70, it's impossible for the first-time spectator not to be impressed. The turbines are truly on a monumental scale.

It's difficult to appreciate the size of these wind turbines.
For a sense of scale, note the conventional Kansas windmill
next to the trees in the foreground.

The farm, developed by TradeWind Energy of Lenexa, began producing 100.8 megawatts of electricity early this year when construction on the 56 turbines in Phase 1 was completed.

By the end of 2008, project planners say Phase II will be online, bringing the total to 155 wind turbines generating 250 megawatts of electricity -- enough to power a city of 45,000.

According to TradeWind Energy, the project will offset 450,000 tons of carbon dioxide per year.

One of the most dramatic (of many) views of the turbines was as we were traveling back east toward Salina. To get an idea of the monumental size of these power producers, the turbines above are about a mile north of the highway (and the SUV pictured in the lower left).

It's good to see Kansas playing in the home-grown energy game, beyond creating coal-fired nuclear power plants.

As a life-long Kansas, I can attest to the constant availability of wind power. Harnessing it seems like a no-brainer. It seems clear that wind power should be a part of the domestic energy mix that the US desperately needs to develop.



tagged: Kansas, Salina, energy, science, wind, Smokey Hills, environmentalist

Woe, dispair and agony on me

Kansas City's Best Blogger Meesha V. has challenged readers to a Hardship-Off at his blog.

I was in the process of responding, letting everyone know how difficult it was to be me growing up, when my comment just became too long. So I decided to post it here for the sake of not uglifying his comments section too much.

Read it if you want, but be warned. It's a sad, sad story and those with fragile mental states should probably steer clear.

But if you do proceed, you should know that Meesha and his commenters were lamenting the primitive plumbing they had do deal with growing up.

Well, that's nothing. When I was growing up I had to share the top floor of our house with my brother. HE got the bigger room, and we had to share the bathroom. Get this, the bathroom didn't even have a bathtub. Just a shower. And the shower didn't even have a variable massage shower head.

And, I didn't even have a TV in my bedroom. We all had to share the 40-inch television in the family room in the west wing of our house. I remember one summer the remote control broke and my dad didn't want to buy a new one, so whenever we wanted to watch a different program, we had to get up and WALK to the TV to change the channel.

I know. But it gets worse. When I was in junior high our Olympic-size heated swimming pool developed a crack and half of the water drained out. It was a mess, and we ended up having to drain the whole thing to have it patched. We essentially lost the use of the pool for half the summer. The horror.

Then there was the time when I was in high school and I had to drive a hand-me-down two-year-old BMW while all my friends were driving Lexuses and Mercedeses. I was humiliated every time I parked in the covered parking garage at my high school.

Well, there's more, but I can sense how depressed you are all getting. I doubt any of you can come up with sadder stories, but if you dare, leave it in the comments at Meesha's place.

tagged: hardship, humor, Lexus, BMW, Mercedes, swimming pool

Buy you a drink?

If you ask me, there's not much better than knocking off work early on a sunny, fall Friday afternoon and tossing back a drink or two with Jack and Larry down at the Regal Beagle.

One of the things that could be better than that, is if the drink or two (or four) is free premium Scotch whisky.

I got the tip from my local wine and spirits store that their sister location is having a free Scotch tasting from 4 to 7 p.m. this Friday (Oct. 17).

The tasting is at The Beer Cave Wine and Spirits. It's at about 87th and Farley in Overland Park, near the Johnson County Library.

From what I heard the other day, Scotches on the tasting table will include Dewar's White Label, Dewar's 12, Jim Beam, Glenmorangie and more.

And, as if free samples aren't good enough, the bottles featured in the tasting will be available at a 10% discount.

So I'll be there around 4:30 or 5, let me know if you want to meet me there. I'll buy the first round.

tagged: Scotch, whisky, Dewar's, Glenmorangie, Beer Cave, alcahol, spirits

Overheard in the OP

This morning I was reminded that when you hear only a portion of a conversation, the phrase "tire tubes" can sound comically similar to "tie her tubes" (no homophone).

tagged: language, homophone, Overland Park

Bug Out

It was a dirty, sweaty job, but it needed doing and the weather last Saturday was perfect for doing it.

Like many across the metro this year, three of the trees in my backyard have been afflicted with webworms.

In case you aren't familiar with these insidious little beasties, they build a webby nest in your tree and eat all the leaves. The more leaves they eat, the bigger the web gets. As the web gets bigger, it engulfs more leaves for the little bastards to eat.

It seriously uglifies your trees and can kill saplings. And the only way to really get the out of your tree is to amputate the infected limb and destroy it.

So anyway, I had already pruned the affected branches from two of the three infested trees.

The worms on the third tree were about 20 feet up. I put up a ladder and grabbed my telescoping loppers and climbed as high as I could through the lower branches.

By this point I was used to tree bark, leaves and sawdust falling off the trees onto my head and into my eyes and ears (eye protection is for the weak). So after I lopped of the offending branch near the trunk, I stepped down off the ladder and brushed myself off.

I could feel that a piece of leaf had fallen into my ear. I casually tried to brush it out with my pinkie finger as I picked up the recently severed branch to add it to the debris pile.

Except the leaf wouldn't come out of my ear. In fact, my brushing attempt seemed to have pushed it further into my ear.

It was at this point that I noticed dozens of tiny winged insect crawling all over my shirt. This was accompanied by the realization that there wasn't a leaf in my ear, it was a bug. And it was crawling deeper into my ear canal.

Cursing, I made my way inside, headed to our downstairs bathroom and grabbed the nearest cotton swab. I rubbed it around my ear until I was sure that no creepy crawlie could be left.

Feeling better (but still a little creeped out), I headed back to the backyard to finish my work. I'd just taken a step off the back patio when I felt the sickening tickling in my external auditory meatus - and no, that's not a good thing.

Panic set in as I raced up to our master bath. We have multiple mirrors that can be articulated to allow me to look into my ear.

It was clear that this nefarious creature was intent upon burrowing into my noggin and laying eggs in by brain. Believe me folks, I can not afford to lose any brain cells.

Visions of Chekov's madness in Wrath of Khan raced through my mind.

I aligned the mirrors to peer into my ear and there it was. Laughing maniacally at me and brandishing its pincher-like beak about to delve into my dome.

A few quick flicks of my finger and I had him out.

I made my way back outside, relieved to be rid of this certain terror. When I got into the sun, I peered at the horrible little invader for a moment or two before crushing him like the bug he was.

tagged: insect, webworm, bug, tree, ear, Wrath of Khan, Chekov

Most like an arch

It's no secret that in the United States today, roughly 98 percent of marriages end in divorce within five years. That's only one of the reasons I'm so lucky to be married to someone like my Supermodel Wife.

She has a great sense of humor and a lot of patience which, fortunately for me, has allowed her to put up with my shenanigans for thirteen years now.

I consider these past few years to be the best of my life so far. We've done amazing things together. We've seen priceless works of art, viewed the wonders of nature, visited ancient ruins, dipped our toes in four oceans... we've been in one of the tallest buildings in the world, and traveled deep underground. We've raised one of the smartest and most beautiful daughters in the history of smart, beautiful daughters.

We've had arguments, fights even. But I wouldn't trade even the worst day for all of the Brunello in Tuscany. I value our time together that much. We have built our life together through hard work, blood, sweat and tears, but more importantly love, devotion.

It hasn't always been easy, but it has always been worth it. And I can't wait to see what the future brings.

I saw this poem a few weeks ago, and I think it's particularly apropos. We are stronger together than we could be apart.

Most Like an Arch This Marriage
by John Ciardi

Most like an arch—an entrance which upholds
and shores the stone-crush up the air like lace.
Mass made idea, and idea held in place.
A lock in time. Inside half-heaven unfolds.

Most like an arch—two weaknesses that lean
into a strength. Two fallings become firm.
Two joined abeyances become a term
naming the fact that teaches fact to mean.

Not quite that? Not much less. World as it is,
what’s strong and separate falters. All I do
at piling stone on stone apart from you
is roofless around nothing. Till we kiss

I am no more than upright and unset.
It is by falling in and in we make
the all-bearing point, for one another’s sake,
in faultless failing, raised by our own weight.

tagged: marriage, anniversary, poem, arch, John Ciardi

Irony

One of the pleasant surprises about our vacation to Branson a few weeks ago was Silver Dollar City.

I was expecting a sort of redneck version of the already-kind-of-rednecky Worlds of Fun. But instead, it was more like a fun version of the Renaissance Festival. There were enough kid rides to keep our fiver-year-old entertained, but also enough artisanal displays to keep the adults occupied.

We watched a glass blowing demonstration right after shooting bad guys in the Flooded Mine. A big hit for my dad was the blacksmith's shop. A craftsman was at work turning iron into useful tools and works of art.

Pops struck up a conversation with the gentleman and learned that, by working at Silver Dollar City for 12 weeks, he makes enough contacts that he gets jobs lined up for the entire year. Not a bad way to make a living doing something you think is fun.

The blacksmith's shop is where my dad got me this kickass birthday present:

I know you guys know what it is, so I won't waste time explaining its use. But I do want to point out a few details.

First, here's the business end of this useful little gadget...

But the coolest part is this...
That's right, rather than just the typical loop, dad had the blacksmith put in a monogram 'A' for me. This thing is a family heirloom now.

Sweet.
tagged: vacation, Branson, Missouri, Silver Dollar City, iron, blacksmith

Random Photo XV: Autumn Birch

If I asked you what your favorite season was, you would probably say spring or summer.

But you would be wrong. It's actually autumn.

Like Michael Scott, I find autumn to be the most contemplative of the seasons. The angle of the sun, the colors of the foliage, the sweet and sour smell of decomposing leaves and the mild temperatures all combine for an atmosphere of introspection and appreciation.

I took this picture yesterday of one of the river birches in our back yard.



tagged: Random Photo, autumn, fall, tree, leaves, nature

Friday Blogthing: Monster

This doesn't sound like me at all...

You Are a Werewolf

You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky. You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster. Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural. Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control You play well with: Vampires

What Kind of Monster Are You?

tagged: Friday, blogthing, Halloween, monster, quiz, blog, meme