Silly as it seems, I suspect this is how 90 percent of voters see their favorite candidates. This is about the level of analysis most people put into their decisions.
Ah well, at least I got a free burnt coffee out of my vote.
tagged: election, vote, coffee, Starbucks, naked campaign,movie, video, YouTube
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
Yachtsee
Now that Halloween is over, it's time to shift our attention to the next task: Christmas shopping.
That's right. Retailers are already putting out Christmas merchandise. And it's a good idea to get as much gift buying out of the way as early as possible. With only 52 days You don't want to be one of those poor schleps doing last minute shopping at the convenience store on Christmas Eve.
Luckily, I learned today that I'll be able to complete a major portion of my Christmas shopping in the next week or so when I buy my Supermodel Wife one of the coolest gifts EVAR!
I just read that former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's luxury yacht is now for sale.
I'm tellin' you, it's the perfect gift. Imagine sailing the Persian Gulf in the lap of the luxurious, 270-foot Ocean Breeze. It has too many swimming pools to count, numerous salons, mahogany furniture, big screen TVs, gold and marble accents and more.
There are ornate fountains, gold-tap bathrooms, whirl pools, steam rooms, and hi-tech bathrooms and enough opulent staterooms to sleep 28 people.
This little boat is replete with safety features as well. Cruising the Persian Gulf, for example, your likely to run into your share or pirates. That's where the built-in missile launcher and bullet-proof glass comes in handy
And, if worse comes to worst, you can always escape through the secret passageway to the on-board mini-submarine.
In your face, Dr. Evil!
Oh sure, maybe it does lack a helipad. But in this day and age, with the economy in the shape it's in, a helipad might seem a bit ostentatious. We're noting if not understated at the emawkc household.
And and at a paltry $35 million, this boat is a bargain!
tagged: Iraq, Saddam Hussein, yacht, Ocean Breeze, sale
That's right. Retailers are already putting out Christmas merchandise. And it's a good idea to get as much gift buying out of the way as early as possible. With only 52 days You don't want to be one of those poor schleps doing last minute shopping at the convenience store on Christmas Eve.
Luckily, I learned today that I'll be able to complete a major portion of my Christmas shopping in the next week or so when I buy my Supermodel Wife one of the coolest gifts EVAR!
I just read that former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's luxury yacht is now for sale.I'm tellin' you, it's the perfect gift. Imagine sailing the Persian Gulf in the lap of the luxurious, 270-foot Ocean Breeze. It has too many swimming pools to count, numerous salons, mahogany furniture, big screen TVs, gold and marble accents and more.
There are ornate fountains, gold-tap bathrooms, whirl pools, steam rooms, and hi-tech bathrooms and enough opulent staterooms to sleep 28 people.
This little boat is replete with safety features as well. Cruising the Persian Gulf, for example, your likely to run into your share or pirates. That's where the built-in missile launcher and bullet-proof glass comes in handy
And, if worse comes to worst, you can always escape through the secret passageway to the on-board mini-submarine.In your face, Dr. Evil!
Oh sure, maybe it does lack a helipad. But in this day and age, with the economy in the shape it's in, a helipad might seem a bit ostentatious. We're noting if not understated at the emawkc household.And and at a paltry $35 million, this boat is a bargain!
tagged: Iraq, Saddam Hussein, yacht, Ocean Breeze, sale
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Friday Blogthing: Mummy's the word
I don't think I can agree with this. I tend not to get too wrapped up in Halloween costumes.
tagged: Friday, blogthing, Halloween, costume, mummy, quiz, blog, meme
You Should Be a Mummy |
 You are seen as exotic and mysterious. You keep people guessing. You see Halloween as a time that you can defy expectations and show a different part of yourself. You love to try to frighten people. You enjoy being a little creepy, especially on Halloween. You enjoy breaking taboos and challenging what people are comfortable with. If that's scary, so be it! |
tagged: Friday, blogthing, Halloween, costume, mummy, quiz, blog, meme
The Undeciders
There's been a lot of invective thrown around the blogiverse about undecided voters.
Incredulous statements have come from both fake sides of the fake political coin. People just don't get how someone can be undecided in a campaign that has lasted two years and wasted billions of dollars.
People like Opinionatrix are fed up with undecided voters' reluctance to buy the steaming pile of monkey crap being flung by the McCain and Obama campaigns:
This is the dilemma we have. Both candidates are horrible. Neither one has more executive experience than my left nut. Each says he's different from the other guy, but they aren't really.
They both think that only the government can save Americans from certain doom. They both want to take more of your money to do it. Remind me again which one of these guys voted AGAINST giving a babbillion dollars to the people most responsible for the current economic melt down.
If either one, when elected, takes any steps to restore constitutional rights abused by the current administration (with full complicity of the Democratic majority in Congress) I'll eat my hat.
So given this Sophie's Choice of an election, my biggest question is how can anyone be so gung-ho about their candidate as to mock the people who are trying to decide whether they want to take a kick in the crotch or punch in the pubes.
The answer of course is that most people who have already decided, decided before they knew anything about either candidate. They're voting for their candidate for the same reason that drunk rowdy football fans cheer for their teams.
Sounds very intellectual and sophisticated, doesn't it?
tagged: election, politics, David Sedaris, Obama, McCain
Incredulous statements have come from both fake sides of the fake political coin. People just don't get how someone can be undecided in a campaign that has lasted two years and wasted billions of dollars.
People like Opinionatrix are fed up with undecided voters' reluctance to buy the steaming pile of monkey crap being flung by the McCain and Obama campaigns:
"In an adult undecided voter it’s a downright stupid and attention getting ploy... Unfortunately for you guys, the rest of us have already mastered the skill of decision making and are thus a bit ahead in the game of life."Then there's the oft-quoted David Sedaris, who I'll quote here because everyone else has:
I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”I think Mr. Sedaris is the one who is confused. His metaphor would be more accurate if the flight attendant were offering a choice between a shit platter on the one hand and a bowl of warmed up shit soup with a side of crap crackers on the other.
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.
I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?
This is the dilemma we have. Both candidates are horrible. Neither one has more executive experience than my left nut. Each says he's different from the other guy, but they aren't really.
They both think that only the government can save Americans from certain doom. They both want to take more of your money to do it. Remind me again which one of these guys voted AGAINST giving a babbillion dollars to the people most responsible for the current economic melt down.
If either one, when elected, takes any steps to restore constitutional rights abused by the current administration (with full complicity of the Democratic majority in Congress) I'll eat my hat.
So given this Sophie's Choice of an election, my biggest question is how can anyone be so gung-ho about their candidate as to mock the people who are trying to decide whether they want to take a kick in the crotch or punch in the pubes.
The answer of course is that most people who have already decided, decided before they knew anything about either candidate. They're voting for their candidate for the same reason that drunk rowdy football fans cheer for their teams.
Sounds very intellectual and sophisticated, doesn't it?
tagged: election, politics, David Sedaris, Obama, McCain
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
As bad as a monkey shit fight at the zoo
Meesha's post pointing out the hypocrisy of both side of the current farce of an election was linked today by Midtown Miscreant, who added as commentary
tagged: election, politics, McCain, Obama, dog shit, feces
"Soon they will resort to throwing shit at one another like ill mannered monkeys.."In yet another election-related public service, I just wanted to point out that the shit-throwing scenario has already happened.
A man was ticketed for unlawful dumping after admitting to putting dog feces in his neighbor's truck for political reasons. Police Sgt. Jerry Edblad said a 19-year-old St. Cloud man told police he has found small baggies of dog feces in the back of his pickup truck for the past few weeks.Donald Esmay told KNSI-AM the feces started appearing in his truck right after he put a 2-foot-by-4-foot McCain sign there.
He and his family watched the truck trying to catch the culprit, but didn't have any luck until Wednesday when his mother and brother saw someone from the neighborhood.
They confronted the 45-year-old man, who admitted to it and said it was childish.
When police later spoke with the neighbor, Edblad said he told officers he did it because he "hates McCain."
The unlawful dumping ticket comes with a $183 fine.
tagged: election, politics, McCain, Obama, dog shit, feces
YouTube Tuesday: Off Target
Monday, October 27, 2008
Elitistical
I was having a beer the other day with my friend Bob Sacamanto.
Bob's a great guy. Hard working, pretty smart, great sense of humor, heck of a dancer. But he doesn't follow politics very closely. Obviously he has better things to do.
This sometimes makes him susceptible to the more subtle claptrap that the political partisans slop into the feeding trough of American pop culture on a 24-hour cycle.
As we nursed our Boulevards, Bob pointed out that he heard someone criticizing someone else for using the term "elitists" in a pejorative sense.
"It's like the guy said. What's wrong with being an elitist? Aren't elitists the best people in society? Isn't it the elitists who make the big discoveries? Don't we send the elitist troops in for the special, dangerous missions?" Bob said.
"Don't we actually want the elitists to run our government?"
My friend Bob Sacamanto actually fell for the exact rhetorical trap that some of the partisans wanted him to. Not his fault. Like I say, when you don't automatically assume that every politician is full of crap, it's easy to get sucked in by these things.
I'm a patient guy, so I just clarified it for him.
"Well, you see Bob, what you're missing (and what the partisans want you to miss) is that being an elitist isn't the same thing as being elite.
"Sure, the elite fighter pilots are the best. The elite football players make the most money. The elite chess players... well they get beat up a lot.
"But in general, the elite are considered the top of their various fields of endeavor.
"However, an elitist isn't necessarily elite. An elitist is someone of normal to below normal intelligence who thinks they are elite.
"Sometimes they don't realize they are elitist. They actually believe they are better than everyone else.
"But often (especially in the political world), they know they are not elite, which ironically makes them even more elitist.
"So when one partisan uses the word "elitist" as an epithet, she is referring to people who claim to have some kind of special insight or right to rule over others, tell them what's good for them, spend their money and make bad decisions on their behalf."
Bob Sacamanto paused for a moment and took another pull from his beer as he considered the revelation. He actually looked kind of frustrated to have fallen for this subtle trick. So I thought I'd try to cheer him up a little with one more thought.
"Of course, it's completely hypocritical for someone proposing expanded government programs and massive taxing/spending to "help the people" to call someone else an elitist."
tagged: politics, elitist, elite, politicians, election
Bob's a great guy. Hard working, pretty smart, great sense of humor, heck of a dancer. But he doesn't follow politics very closely. Obviously he has better things to do.
This sometimes makes him susceptible to the more subtle claptrap that the political partisans slop into the feeding trough of American pop culture on a 24-hour cycle.
As we nursed our Boulevards, Bob pointed out that he heard someone criticizing someone else for using the term "elitists" in a pejorative sense.
"It's like the guy said. What's wrong with being an elitist? Aren't elitists the best people in society? Isn't it the elitists who make the big discoveries? Don't we send the elitist troops in for the special, dangerous missions?" Bob said.
"Don't we actually want the elitists to run our government?"
My friend Bob Sacamanto actually fell for the exact rhetorical trap that some of the partisans wanted him to. Not his fault. Like I say, when you don't automatically assume that every politician is full of crap, it's easy to get sucked in by these things.
I'm a patient guy, so I just clarified it for him.
"Well, you see Bob, what you're missing (and what the partisans want you to miss) is that being an elitist isn't the same thing as being elite.
"Sure, the elite fighter pilots are the best. The elite football players make the most money. The elite chess players... well they get beat up a lot.
"But in general, the elite are considered the top of their various fields of endeavor.
"However, an elitist isn't necessarily elite. An elitist is someone of normal to below normal intelligence who thinks they are elite.
"Sometimes they don't realize they are elitist. They actually believe they are better than everyone else.
"But often (especially in the political world), they know they are not elite, which ironically makes them even more elitist.
"So when one partisan uses the word "elitist" as an epithet, she is referring to people who claim to have some kind of special insight or right to rule over others, tell them what's good for them, spend their money and make bad decisions on their behalf."
Bob Sacamanto paused for a moment and took another pull from his beer as he considered the revelation. He actually looked kind of frustrated to have fallen for this subtle trick. So I thought I'd try to cheer him up a little with one more thought.
"Of course, it's completely hypocritical for someone proposing expanded government programs and massive taxing/spending to "help the people" to call someone else an elitist."
tagged: politics, elitist, elite, politicians, election
Friday, October 24, 2008
10 Things That Are More Important Than The Election
For months now -- actually years -- we've been hearing from all of the partisan Kool-Aid drinkers that the election in a couple of weeks is the most important thing EVAR in the HISTORY of the UNIVERSE!!!!!
And despite my repeated attempt to get through to the blinder wearers, it still seems like way too many people are deluding themselves into thinking that things will suddenly change when a new president is sworn in next year.
But, giving you the benefit of the doubt, I thought that maybe you just think this election is the most important thing in your life because you can't think of any other important things in your life. (No not you. I know you're smart enough to get it. I'm talking the other people).
So here's a list of 10 things (in no particular order) that are more important that who gets elected president of the United Sheep of America.
tagged: election, peppers, vote, change, gutters
And despite my repeated attempt to get through to the blinder wearers, it still seems like way too many people are deluding themselves into thinking that things will suddenly change when a new president is sworn in next year.
But, giving you the benefit of the doubt, I thought that maybe you just think this election is the most important thing in your life because you can't think of any other important things in your life. (No not you. I know you're smart enough to get it. I'm talking the other people).
So here's a list of 10 things (in no particular order) that are more important that who gets elected president of the United Sheep of America.
- Boycotting shoe stores
- Donating time and money to worthy causes like breast cancer research
- Dining at your favorite exploding steakhouse
- Avoiding the QuikTrip Ham and Cheddar on Pretzel Bread at all costs
- Becoming a better Booty Juggler
- Clearing out your DVR play list (SRSLY, you've had shows on that thing for weeks now that you haven't watched).
- Clearing out your gutters (really, you should catch up on all the home maintenance you've been putting off).
- Cleaning and lubricating your firearms in preparation for National Looting Day.
- Hiring washed-up quarterbacks for a never-was football team
- Pickling you peppers.
tagged: election, peppers, vote, change, gutters
Friday Blogthing: artful dodger
This quiz that I ganked from this guy made me think of my favorite quote about art: "I don't know art, but I know what I hate. And I don't hate this."
People that like Impressionist paintings may not always be what is deemed socially acceptable. They tend to move on their own path without always worrying that it may be offensive to others.
They value friendships but because they also value honesty tend to have a few really good friends. They do not, however, like people that are rude and do not appreciate the ideas of others. They are secure enough in themselves that they can listen to the ideas of other people without it affecting their own final decisions.
The world for them is not black and white but more in shades of gray and muted colors. They like things to be aesthetically pleasing, not stark and sharp. There are many ways to view things, and the impressionist personality views the world from many different aspects.
They enjoy life and try to keep a realistic viewpoint of things, but are not very open to new experiences. If they are content in their live they will be more than likely pleased to keep things just the way they are.
Take What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test at HelloQuizzy
tagged: Friday, blogthing, art, impressionism, painting, quiz, blog, meme
Your result for What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test...
Balanced, Secure, and Realistic.
7 Impressionist, -4 Islamic, -4 Ukiyo-e, -2 Cubist, -10 Abstract and -11 Renaissance!
People that like Impressionist paintings may not always be what is deemed socially acceptable. They tend to move on their own path without always worrying that it may be offensive to others.
They value friendships but because they also value honesty tend to have a few really good friends. They do not, however, like people that are rude and do not appreciate the ideas of others. They are secure enough in themselves that they can listen to the ideas of other people without it affecting their own final decisions.
The world for them is not black and white but more in shades of gray and muted colors. They like things to be aesthetically pleasing, not stark and sharp. There are many ways to view things, and the impressionist personality views the world from many different aspects.
They enjoy life and try to keep a realistic viewpoint of things, but are not very open to new experiences. If they are content in their live they will be more than likely pleased to keep things just the way they are.
Take What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test at HelloQuizzy
tagged: Friday, blogthing, art, impressionism, painting, quiz, blog, meme
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