In case you haven't yet had your fill of schadenfreude at Tiger Woods' expense, Kansas Sity Sinic has pointed us toward the Tiger Hunting flash game.
Obviously I'm not going to be very good, not being a European super model and all. But still, give it a try and see if you can beat (heh) my high score of 51 (which, coincidentally, is the number of strokes it takes me to finish the first 6 at Dub's Dread). One good sign is that these kinds of memes are usually a trailing indicator of pop culture. In other words, unless Woods does something to make things even worse than they are now, we should be moving on to a new target du jour any time now.
Alright, I've got a lot to say to say and not much time to say it. I'm starting on the other side of the pond, but believe me there's more later about our own effed up country. But before we get to that...
The mistaken belief that albino body parts have magical powers has driven thousands of Africa's albinos into hiding, fearful of losing their lives and limbs to unscrupulous dealers who can make up to $75,000 selling a complete dismembered set.
In the latest reported killing last October, "albino hunters" beheaded a 10-year-old boy and cut off his leg as well.
Can someone explain to these people what century it is? I thought we got past this witch doctor crap and moved on to the violent racism crap.
So again, really? No, seriously, really? 'Cause I might be interested in a new gig. Do you pay for relocation?
Oh, and while we're in Europe, really Italy? REALLY? Why give up centuries of tradition for a mere boost in worker productivity.
The Italian Program Minister (really?) is urging Italian workers to give up the traditional 2-hour mid-day lunch break to increase the country's productivity.
Now look. I like Italy. It's one of my favorite countries. I find the culture fascinating, and lazy workers and corrupt public officials are part of the culture.
Besides, I think Italian productivity may be a bit overrated. Do we really need more $500,000 cars and $50,000 dresses? I mean, really...
Okay, bringing it back home now. You guys remember when liberty used to mean something in America? Yeah, me neither. But it seems like there was a time when it was more than just a punchline in an election year stump speech.
Well, those days (if they ever really existed) are long gone as evidenced by two recent events.
Managers contacted police, who examined the small digital camera, which also records video segments, Cmdr. Frank Siciliano said. Officers found that Tumpach had taped “two very short segments” of the movie — no more than four minutes total, he said.
Hey, I'm not advocating pirating movies. But really?? We're going to throw people IN JAIL?! without a trial? For taping a birthday party?! REALLY?!?! Why not just go ahead and tattoo a serial number onto her forearm while you're at it?
But the fact that you can get arrested and carted away to the police station for not paying A FRIGGIN' TIP? Really?!! Do the police/restaurant owners know what a gratuity is?
Finally, if you need any more evidence that our country has reached its cultural nadir, reference yesterday's ridiculous Barbara Walters Special. I mean, really. This show gives new meaning to the word "special."
According to Walters, the most fascinating people of the year include Kate Gosselin, Adam Lambert, Laddie GaGa (I can't believe I just typed that), Glenn Beck and Sara Palin.
Really.
What does it say about a person when they can be fascinated by such vapid pop culture personalities. I wouldn't even know who these people were if it weren't for their ability and eagerness to self-destruct in public.
Fascinating?! Really!??? This is the best our culture can do? There's no scientific, medical, literary or artistic accomplishment we can point to? You're telling me we're stuck with "pa-pa-pa-poker face, pa-pa-poker face," as our crowning cultural achievement this year?
When the first real blast of iron cold arctic air hits every winter, I have this little mental trick that I like to do as I make the frozen trek from the parking garage to my cubicle. I go back in my mind to the last perfect weather day of the year.
That happened to be a few days after Thanksgiving this year.
We were home from our annual Thanksgiving tour of Kansas so we decided a casual family dinner out would be a good way to decompress. We hit up one of our favorite neighborhood eateries, had a nice supper then walk (in my case hobbled) around the local strip mall. We ended up stopping at Foo's for a desert nightcap.
We took our custards to Foo's backroom to enjoy them in the couch lounge area. We were the only people in the room with the exception of a mid-40ish aged guy in the corner setting up a microphone and amps, one-man-band-style.
Presently, he got out his guitar and harmonica. He announced his name, which I missed at first, then proceeded to give us a free private concert.
Harry Hewlett played a set of original songs, his sound very Country Americana, a kind of Hank Williams Senior vibe. Not my cup of musical tea, but it was pretty entertaining for an intimate show over butter-pecan frozen custard.
Hewlett himself has a great sense of humor that comes through in the lyrics to his original songs. A quick Google search pointed me to his début album "World Class Dirty Old Man" at CDBaby.
His sense of humor also came through when he didn't get pissed or irritated at me for turning on my cell-phone light and holding it in the air while I yelled "Play some Free Bird!"
We left before his set was over, but by then another family had made their way into the room. We sent our 7-year-old up with a 5'er to drop in his guitar case. He gave us a shoutout as we left.
According to what (little) info I've been able to find about Hewlett, he plays coffee houses, restaurants and other small rooms around town pretty regularly. If you seem him some night, tell 'im Emawkc says hey. And request some Free Bird.
The internet has been great for adding to the canonical base of classic holiday children's programing. We all remember the classic Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph and Santa Clause is Coming to Town stop motion animation specials.
And now thanks to online video distribution, new classics are emerging, not the least of which is today's YouTube Tuesday entry. We follow the exploits of a lovable Snowman as he endeavors to bridge the gap of interstellar communication, bringing the true meaning of Christmas and saving the world.
3AM presents Real Men of Genius Real Men of Genius!
Today we solute you...
Mr. Abe Vigoda look-alike athletic director. You totally look like Salvatore Tessio
Like an old Sicillian don, you've shown you're adept at getting what you want no matter how many lives it destroys. Is that a decapitated horse head in Mangino's bed?
To you, KU Athletics isn't just a family, it’s a family business. Whether it's kickbacks to bowl officials, extortion of local businesses, or just your garden variety academic fraud, you know that the bottom line is the bottom line. Gotta keep the money rollin' in!
And while you don't mind having abusive people on you staff, when your biggest earner fails to bring in fat wads of cash, you know it's time to make him an offer he can't refuse. Tonight he sleeps with the fishes...
So leave the gun and take the cannoli, oh floppy eared arbiter of lesser men's fates. Because firing the best coach your team has ever had is a sure way to keep the rest of your organization in line. Mr. Abe Vigoda look-alike athletic director!
I like the way the sun brings out subtle hues of the Flint Hills this time of year.
I know it's not for everyone. I get that a lot of people consider it barren looking. But to me, it kind of feels like the real-life version of a Mark Rothko painting.
Plot Summary: An affluent white Southern family adopts an athletically gifted homeless black teen. They provide a bed, home, food and educational assistance that eventually allows the teen to pursue a football career.
My Thoughts:The Blind Side is based on Michael Lewis' book (same name) about physically gifted but socially disadvantaged teen Michael Oher.
The story is fairly well known by now, and the movie is directed as the quintessential holiday feel-good hit. It wastes no time charging the emotions with a sad soundtrack to match the tragic life circumstance of the principal character, Oher.
I have some pretty mixed feelings about the film, and it could be that I'm just over thinking it.
It does deliver on the tugging-at-the-heartstrings mission of the typical holiday hit. Pretty much all of the ladies in the theater were tearing up within 20 minutes of the start of the movie. By the time Michael Oher admitted that "I've never had a bed before" there wasn't a dry female eye in the house.
But there was something about how the film was executed that just made me felt a little uneasy. It's a good story, don't get me wrong. But I don't know if it was the directing or the editing or what, but it just came across to me a bit exploitative.
One problem is that the story is rife with stereotypes. From the affluent southern bigot to the redneck southern bigot to the black gangster thug to the poor ghetto junkie mother, there was no real character development even in the primary characters.
The other problem I had was what I perceived to be a not-so-subtle mixture of white guilt and White Man's Burden. The implication was that these white folk could save the black folk. It was a simplistic portrayal of race relations, where there was an opportunity to take a serious and sincere look at social issues that still exists.
Finally, Sandra Bullock's portrayal of Leigh Anne Tuohy really was tragic. I guess it could have been the director's fault, but Bullock managed to take what should have been one of the most sympathetic characters -- the woman who took a black kid from the projects into her home, fed him, clothed him and championed his education -- and make her an unlikable shrew.
Bullock's interpretation of Tuohy was that of an uptight, bossy, entitled harpy. Really, I remarked to my Supermodel Wife at about the 30-minute mark that "That woman hasn't smiled once yet." A few minutes later, she managed to squeeze out the ghost of a grin, but made it look painful, like it was about to break her face.
It was really almost enough to make me racist in reverse.
The rest of the cast did an okay job. Tim McGraw played an Everybody Loves Raymond househusband and Jae Head channeled Macaulay Culkin circa 1990 as the youngest sibling. Kathy Bates... was in the movie.
The best acting job probably goes to Quinton Aaron as Michael Oher, though the sparse dialogue and understatedness of the character made it easy for him.
I hate to get too down on the movie. Like I said, a lot of people really liked it and it is a good story -- maybe even inspiring if you don't think too much about it. I would recommend the book over the movie, though.
So I'm cruising easily down the K12, the quadruple black diamond run at the exclusive ski resort where our family traditionally spends our Thanksgivings.
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the snow was... well, sitting lightly on the mountain side. It was truly bucolic and I basked in the bucolicness as I passed through 20, 30, 40 miles per hour down the mountain.
I was basking all bucolic-like when suddenly I saw out of the corner of my eye a little white snow bunny dart out from behind a tree, right into the path of my slicing skis. It was only my expert skiing ability that saved the delicate rodent creature from certain decapitation, as I executed a triple-axel-reverse-front-gainer to avoid dealing the death blow.
But as bad luck would have it the tip of my ski lightly clipped an overhanging spruce limb, throwing my equilibrium off just enough that I landed slightly askew on my left foot.
The pain was instantaneous as all my weight combined with my downward and frontward momentum transferred and compressed on my left ankle. I heard a sound like the cracking of knuckles, and while I remained upright on my skis, I made the rest of the run down the mountain in severe pain.
Yeah. That sounds pretty good. Pretty heroic and not at all stupid like the actual true story.
You know, the actual true story where I decided not to wake up our six-month-old daughter, instead carrying her to the nursery to sleep. Then, since I was carrying her and unable to see where I was going, I don't realize when I get to the bottom step of the staircase that there is actually one more step to go.
Then I step out to walk down the hall, but there's no floor there and I end up tipping forward, landing on the side of my foot, having it fold under my ankle and hearing that tell-tale knuckle-cracking sound that (I find out three days later) is also the sound of foot bones fracturing.
In honor of the upcoming heartburn holiday later this week, today's edition of YouTube Tuesday remembers one of the greatest Thanksgiving moments in TV history...
One good sign is that these kinds of memes are usually a trailing indicator of pop culture. In other words, unless Woods does something to make things even worse than they are now, we should be moving on to a new target du jour any time now.
