Bullitt List – 12.07.18

Today's category: Profiles in GYAHHH!
Say what you will about the Internet. It's divisive and leads to unchecked, destructive tribalism. It's an amazing tool for communication, offering us unprecedented exposure to different cultures and a chance to draw closer as one world race. Both views, while contrary to each other, are valid.

But one thing you can always say about the Internet is that it's interesting. Well, it's been its usual shocking and gross week out there on the Internet, so proceed with caution.

• Woman dies from brain-eating amoeba after using neti pot with filtered tap water
  I heard that one time a brain-eating amoeba tried to attack Meesha, but it starved to death. #sickburn
  Also, follow Nancy Reagan's advice and stop putting bugs up your nose.
   
• Kona Community Hospital shuts down due to scabies outbreak
  "Kona Community Hospital shut down today due to a severe outbreak of scabies, a highly contagious skin condition caused by tiny burrowing mites…"
  
  Dudes. These are tiny mites… burrowing into your SKIN! This sort of thing is how the Justinian Plague started, right?
  
• Asian beetles disguised as ladybugs burrow into your dog's mouth
  
  
  I mean there's just way too much burrowing going on lately, amirite? I guess this might be localized to the North Carolina region, but still... I see those beetles all over during the late fall.
  
  If I see them trying to migrate into my house this winter, I'll be sure collect them and feed them to my neighbor's crazy barking dogs (I'm kidding! I would never! I'm a dog person!).
  
• Man coughs up bizarre blood clot shaped exactly like part of a lung
  
  
  But perhaps the most GYAAHHH! story of the week comes from the New England Journal of Medicine, which reports that a dude recently died shortly after he LITERALLY COUGHED UP A LUNG!!!
  
  Okay, it was a blood clot that looked like a piece of his lung... because it had been lodged in his bronchial tree and become a cast IN BLOOD of the inside of his fricken' LUNG!

Bullitt List – 11.30.18

Today's category: Nature is not your friend

Look, don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of Nature. There are few things I enjoy more than getting out-of-doors, out of the city, doing some hiking, biking fishing... anything really that will get me away from the soul crushing mass of humanity that weighs down on all city dwellers 24-hours a day (Not you though. You're cool. You're alright. I'm referring to all of the other humanity).

But let's face it, that fandom is a one way street. Those people who say that Nature is beautiful are only partly right. Nature is beautiful, sure. But Nature doesn't give two shits how beautiful you think it is. And Nature wouldn't think twice about sinking a cobra fang into your neck if you let your guard down for half a second.

So, Nature Boy, while you're busy thinking up your rebuttal, here are a few Bullitt Points to back up my assertion that Nature is not your friend:

• Scientists Find New, Disease-Spreading Tick in 9 States
  It's not cute. It's not here to save the day. It's here to spread human-killing pathogens.
   
• New Wasp Species Turns Spiders into Zombies
  Just what we need, zombie spiders. Mark my words, this is only the first step for these wasps. They're coming for you next!
• New Weapons to Fight Baby-eating Snakes
  "…they have even been found trying to swallow the hands of sleeping infants."  Good luck with that, snake hunters.
• Young Girl Gored by Deer in London Park
  
  
  Yes they're magnificent creatures, so graceful and gentle... unless they're looking to get it on. Hey, if you only have a couple of weeks each year in which to get your freak on, you might feel a little aggressive at times too. Bottom line, kids: Stay away from horny deer.

Reflective Ruminations, by Fletcher Dodge

Interestingly, North Carolina is the South Dakota of the Carolinas.

Reflective Ruminations, by Fletcher Dodge

It seems kind of sexist to say "Antman and The Wasp" instead of "Antman and Waspwoman"…

YouTube Tuesday: The Ballad of of Buster Scruggs

I gotta say, I'm almost more excited about this movie than I was about the premier of the new season of BoJack Horseman.

    

Anti-wonder

A lot of meaning in this quote, both in its original context and in the wider socio-political context of the moment…

Nick Cave

Whatever happened between us, it saddens me that something of our individual nature has disappeared into the divide, our unique voices are being worn down and everyone is communicating within the safe and strident anti-wonder of grievance politics.

30,000 sexdecillion

One of the minor Internet sensations last year was the nifty, browser-based AI simulator Universal Paperclips.

I ignored it until I got the superflu and had only the brain capacity to keep clicking a button on a dumb-but-clever web-based AI simulator.

It turned into a race to see how many paperclips my AI could manufacture before I died of influenza. Turns out, I was able to convert the entire mass of the (simulated) universe into paperclips... a grand total of a very sexy number of paperclips.

YouTube Tuesday: Too alone to be proud

It's been a lot to deal with in the last few days. I think by now we all know how it feels.

Anyway, here's a little in memorium to get us by for a few minutes.

Well said

I'll stand my ground
Won't be turned around 
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down 
Gonna stand my ground
-- Tom Petty, 1950-2017

A day for the ages!

Attention everyone!

I forgot to mention the other day that I was very appreciative of the birthday wishes the coolest of you bestowed upon me via Facebook.

Birthdays are a bit of a mixed blessing these days. One the one hand, it's always great to receive the well-wishes of such fine and upstanding people.

On the other hand… is the finger of the doctor, which goes in my butt during my annual exam around this time of year (and is it just me, or does your doctor seem to search with more and more diligence each year. I mean, you'd think I was trying to smuggle a smartphone into Ft. Leavenworth fer crissakes).

It's just the consequence of me failing to live the rock-n-roll lifestyle and dying in a helicopter crash while OD'd on smack and Jack.

I figure I'm like most people: After (and before) a certain point birthday's seem to lose their luster.

When you get past the point of "wishing" for "gifts" (I just buy myself whatever I need these days) and being surprised by "parties" (like most people, I've become anti-social in by dotage), it really comes down to spending a few hours hanging out with the family and hitting up Joe's for some ribs and beer. That really is as good as it gets... and it pretty damn good if you ask me.

Butt on the hole (sic), we take the good with the extremely uncomfortable. I've always said getting older really sucks, but it's a hell of a lot better than the alternative (well, full disclosure here, I haven't always said that... its only been for the last 20 years or so I guess.)

So thanks again, everyone! Happy birthday to all you sinners out there.