YouTube Tuesday: Life and Death of a Pumpkin

Halloween is only a few days away. Hope you have your Balloon Boy costume ready.

In the meantime, here's a poignant portrait of one pumpkin's plight.



tagged: YouTube, Tuesday, pumpkin, Halloween, humor

Pleading Galty

I'm going to backtrack a little bit because I have a couple of things I want to say about the whiny babies running Bank of America right now.

Seems they've wet their diapers over the Obama Collective's plan to slash executive salaries.

Many of the firms, which have together received more than $300 billion in taxpayer aid, issued conciliatory statements, but Bank of America said the ruling would put it at a disadvantage in competing with companies not under the pay czar's thumb.

"People want to work here, but they want to be paid fairly," said whined BofA spokesman Scott Silvestri.

Some people (who haven't thought things through very well) have latched on to the quote and hit the panic button, warning of a Galtian response to the pay cuts (via Cup O' Joel):

If the administration actually follows through, most of these executives will quit and get higher paying jobs elsewhere. Executives not directly affected by the pay cuts will also quit when they see their prospects for future salary gains have been cut. Chaos will be created at these firms as top people leave in droves. Will the administration then order people back to work?

Like I said, I've got a couple of thoughts on this, and I'm going to try to keep it brief.

First, this whiny weasel of a bank executive is vastly overstating the risk of a "Galtian" exodus of talent. (Can you imagine? A bank executive not being 100% honest?) Yes, the reduction is a 90 percent cut over their pay in 2008. But read the fine freaking print: It only applies to "the remainder 2009..."

That's right, these poor, deprived bastards are going to have a whole two months of punishment for the 18-months-and-counting depression they've caused. Then, it's back to buying disposable superyachts on the taxpayer dime.

Secondly, even if every single bank executive affected by this pay plan decided to take his keys to the executive Korean massage parlor and crawl into a Randian hole in southwest Colorado, that's only 175 people. I say good riddance. Don't let the balloon payment hit you on the way out. By all rights, these people should be out of work anyway.

Which brings me to my final point. If you're going to run you industry into the ground (oh, and the rest of the global economy, to boot) and then go crying, hat in hand, to the government and beh-heh-heg for a bailout, and if the popular sentiment is hard enough against you, don't fuckin' be surprised when the Chief Executive (your new boss, btw) grabs some political points by cutting your pay.

Welcome to the world you created.

tagged: executive pay, Kenneth Feinberg, Scott Silvestri, economy, Galt, Rand, politics

In case you missed it... KC with "international flair"

While you were busy trying on your Billy Mays Halloween costume, I was reading the bit on USAToday.com that puts Kansas City in a Top 10 list of "Great towns with international flair."

The piece is part of a celebration of United Nations day, which I'm sure you all know is tomorrow. The list was put together by Stephen Goldsmith, director of the Center for the Living City (whatever that is).

For KC, Goldsmith plugs the KC Irish Museum and Culture Center ...

"The mixture of Irish culture in this city is not competitive but woven into its fabric," Goldsmith says. Kansas City has a thriving pub, Celtic music and culture scene. The permanent exhibit at this center includes ancient and local Irish history. Events include Irish Beer Night and workshops for singing, fiddle, bodhran (drums) and tin whistle.

Check out the rest of the article to see even more international flair.

tagged: Kansas City, Irish, United Nations Day

YouTube Tuesday: The Kitchen Sink

In keeping with the creepiness of the season, today's edition of YouTube Tuesday is a double feature guaranteed to make you regret coming here all over again.

Actually, Kitchen Sink is a great but creepily weird short movie from way back in 1989. Believe it or not, I actually had an experience not too dissimilar to this back in college.





tagged: YouTube, Tuesday, creepy, movie, Kitchen Sink, Alison Maclean, hair

Guest Post: The Punxsutawney Power Principle

Today's post comes to us courtesy of MalcomSmith, a frequent poster on the KATG forums. This post was inspired by a conversation amongst some of the more politically inclined on the forums. I post it here (with permission of course) for your consideration.

I am beginning to wonder whether our intrepid young President hasn't already squandered every last bit of his once copious political capital? The prodigal POTUS?

And it appears the Republicans, the reigning maestros of of media manipulation, have already socked away all the malicious material they need to deliver a sound trouncing in November.

Is the Obama Presidency toast?

I think Obama's media presence is indicative of his political profligacy. For example, Obama has violated the Punxsutawney Power Principle. Every year, once a year, Punxsutawney Phil emerges from his rat hole or tree stump or whatever, and millions are held in rapt attention anxiously awaiting his meteorological prognostications... then they all party.

Now, were fat Phil to emerge say once a quarter, or once a month, or once a week, how much attention would we pay him? Would there be Groundhog Days? Would there be parties? Would there be a Punxsutawney Phil?

Or, would he be but another rotund rodent?

The Punxsutawney Power Principle hypothesizes that power is inversely proportionate to media saturation. Obama is everywhere, all day, every day. The PPP is but one way in which our precocious POTUS has thus diluted his mojo.

Some might say so what? As long as he's getting things done who cares if he's overexposed?

But, he's not getting needed legislation passed. That's the point. His message is diluted to meaninglessness. He should have been more parsimonious.

Obama doesn't get what the Republicans have known for years: You've got to catapult the propaganda. Americans function on heuristic soundbites. His message is too diffuse, too broad, too vague.

His message is missing its mark.

Brother B-rock needs to focus. He needs to prioritize his goals, assess the resources he has available to achieve those goals, and then direct those resources towards those goals in the most efficient and effective manner possible.

I would like him to spend his time on the economy, Iraq and Afghanistan, and health care; and he's in the Rose Garden with Gates, Crowley, and Biden... piling up the video library for conservative campaign swift-boat hatchet men.

How's that image work: Picture of the soldier with his guts blown out, juxtaposed to Obama drinking beers, bowling, dancing, cooing with babies, and playing B-ball with Reggie Love?

---

You do the math...

Obama won against an old man and a crazy coo coo woman. He did not beat a legitimate Republican candidate.

Some would submit that the Republicans never intended to win the '08 election. You'd be crazy to take on the $#&* Obama inherited. No politician could fix that $%^&. Better to sit it out, and let the Democrats take the lumps, then point out the problems and swoop in to the rescue.

The Republicans conceded the race.

Now, think about the baggage: Obama is a black Democrat + Iraq + Afghanistan + Gitmo + the health care fiasco + the bailout fiasco + the czars + the $%^&&! economy + the Democrat congress disaster + no bin Laden + GM + too-big-to-fail banks are bigger than before + etc., etc., etc. Could he have won with this stuff on his resume? No way.

This is what Obama is up against and he chooses Geithner and Larry Summers.

It's not a question as to whether or not he's going down, it's a question as to whether or not he can pull out of the dive before he hits the tarmac.

tagged: Obama, Punxsutawney , presidency, Reggie Love, economy, politics

Money, it's a gas

Hey let's face it people, our beloved greenback has taken its lumps the last few years.

Bush's supposed "strong dollar" policy didn't pan out so well as other currencies passed the buck in value at various times over the past few years (hell even the Canadian Loonie was beating the US dollar for a while).

And, with bajillions of new dollars pumped into the economy to make sure JPMorganChase would get record profits after screwing the country into economic Armageddon, it's pretty much a sure bet that the buck will get weaker before it gets stronger.

But that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun with it, does it?

The other day I received a $1 bill as change. On the back of the bill was printed this message: "You have found a wild bill. See where I have been. Enter the series & serial # at www.wheresgeorge.com"

Now, before you go and think I'm all naive and everything let me just say that, yes, I recognized this as the government tracking program that it is. Obviously, it's just one more way for Big Brother to keep tabs on my whereabouts and spending.

Still...

I went to the wheresgeorge.com website and punched in the info from the bill. The tracking report I got on this particular bill showed a previous entry from a fella who received it as change from the KCI Airport Super Shuttle. At the time, it was in "good, nearly new" condition. That was 28 days before the bill came to me.

When I received the bill it was still in good condition, but not nearly new. Lots of wrinkles and folds, almost like it had been crammed quickly into a pocket then straightened out and placed into a money clip, then at some point drunkenly stuck into a g-string. You can use your own imagination to predict where it went from there.

Anyway, you can participate in the fun by pulling a bill from your wallet and checking the wheresgeorge.com yourself. C'mon, the government is already tracking you 10 different ways anyhow.

But if you're too paranoid to play this little game with your dollars, here's something else you can do.

I got an email the other day about Won Park, an origami artist who specializes in folding the dollar bills in to intricate shapes of animals and various objets d'argent. Here are the samples that were in the email I received.















And of course, my poetic favorite...

tagged: money, dollar, bill, fun, origami, Won Park, economy

YouTube Tuesday: Hellholes

As I've said before, the great thing about online video is that it gives so many talented people a way to show off their goods with a low barrier to entry.

In the spirit of the season, I'm really diggin' this first episode of Hellholes -- looks like it's going to be kind of in the vein of The Army of Darkness.

<a href="http://www.atom.com" target="_blank">Hellholes - Ep 1</a>

Hellholes - Ep 1

tagged: YouTube, video, Halloween, Hellholes, Army of Darkness

In case you missed it... Moon bombed in preemptive strike

While you were busy polishing your Nobel Peace Prize this morning, NASA bombed the moon.

That will teach the moon to moon us every month.



According to my inside sources, NASA has followed up the initial phase of the "shock and awe" bombing with the covert launched of a lunar invasion force. Here's some video my inside source captured with a cell phone video camera (it's a bit grainy)...



tagged: moon, pop culture, NASA, LCROSS, science

YouTube Tuesday: On the Boulevard

Most of us locals have been enjoying Boulevard Brewing Co's craft beers for years. We've toured the brewery (and tried the free samples) one or two (or ten) times so we're familiar with the company's story.

Still, this well-produced video is a nice introduction and review of where the company came from and where it's going.

Damn I'm thirsty.


tagged: Kansas City, beer, Boulevard, video, movie, YouTube, Tuesday

I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier

Well he's done it again, posted something that makes the tiny little gears in my tiny little brain start turning and churning so much that I just can't stop it until I leave a comment. Then the comment turns into a long post and I end up just typing it out and posting it here.

Internet Legend Xavier Onassis, Father of the Internal Bushing, posted his thoughts the other day about his inability to "get" poetry and abstract expressionism.

If you have something to say, if there is something you want me to know, just tell me what it is! Don't make me guess, don't leave it up to my interpretation, don't cloak it and hide it in obtuse phrases. JUST FUCKING TELL ME!

XO believes that poetry is an attempt to obscure a meaning. I'm afraid I can't agree with this characterization.

Now, I'm no poet. I'm certainly no expert on poetry. Hell, I'm barely literate! So take this all with a grain of salt as the opinion piece it is (we all know about opinions, right). But I have given some thought to this subject, and here's what I came up with...

Poetry (and really all art in general) is a form of expression that attempts to bypass the analytical left brain and communicate directly with the intuitive and subjective right brain. It is an attempt by one soul to express feelings and moods directly to another soul.

So in order to understand what's being expressed, you have to first believe you have a soul. I happen to believe that everyone does, but many people aren't aware of it or may even deny it. For some people, the soul is like an appendix, an unneeded vestigial organ. Or, more like an unused muscle that has been allowed to weaken and atrophy through neglect.

In my opinion, these are the people who have trouble "getting it."

Granted, there's a lot of bad poetry out there, and a lot of bad art in general. This is probably what leads to the conclusion that poetry is an attempt to obscure a message.

But good art created by a skilled artist is just the opposite. A true master of the form chooses words as carefully and deliberately as any novelist, probably more so. Certainly they are more diligent that you ordinary everyday blogger. They devote as much energy and effort into perfecting the meter and rhyme and other non-verbal aspects of the work.

When executed by a master, the affect is very powerful... more powerful sometimes that a well-written treatise on the Unified Field Theory.

In fact, some works are so powerful, so well executed that even someone as soulless as that heathen Xavier Onassis can "get it."

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Or this one...

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
looking for an angry fix...

Or maybe...

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

We all experience moods and feelings differently. It's just a function of our humanity. But when good poetry actually connects, the feeling or mood can be like a punch in the soul.

tagged: art, poetry, Howl, Allen Ginsberg, Robert Frost, Yeats, The Second Coming