Friday, June 22, 2007

Headlines: The toughest SOB in the nation

I've tangled with some tough customers before.

I've gone toe-to-toe with the occasional hornet's nest in the kid's swing set. I've fended off the aggressive licking and butt sniffing or our friend's overgrown Weimaraner. I've chased off the elusive urban raccoon. And regular readers are familiar with my complete destruction of the harmless Steatoda triangulosa.

Hell, I've even ventured into Westport after dark before.

So yeah, I considered myself a pretty tough dude. But then I read about Florida senior resident Dale Rippy, a veritable latter-day Daniel Boone.
Dale Rippy says he was acting on instinct when a rabid 25-pound bobcat attacked him on his porch in this central Florida suburb.
My instinct would be to get the fuck off the porch. Maybe barricade myself inside the house by piling up couches, chairs and other furniture by the door, cartoon-style. But not Dale "The Ripper" Rippy:
Rippy, 62, endured the bobcat's slashes and bites until it clawed into a position where he could grab it by the throat.

Then he strangled it.
That's right. Strangled it. The rabid freakin' bobcat! With his BARE HANDS!
Rippy said it was clear the crazed bobcat had to be stopped.

"I was bleeding everyplace," the Vietnam veteran said of the May 30 attack. "If that cat had attacked a child, it would've been really bad. It wouldn't have quit."

Tests showed the dead bobcat was rabid. Rippy was treated for exposure to rabies, and several bites and cuts.

Authorities praised Rippy for clear thinking under pressure.

"We give this guy a lot of credit for what he did," said Pasco County Animal Control Manager Denise Hilton. "The man was definitely using his head when he did that. If he let the cat go, we could have had more victims."
I don't know how long Rippy has left on this earth. Clearly as a veteran of Vietnam, he's been through "some shit" as they say.

But I can tell you, based on this story, that I would rather have one 62-year-old, tough-as-nails geezer like Rippy at my back with the shit hits the fan than a hundred crying, overly sensitive, overly coddled, whining emo boy hipsters.

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  1. Score another one for "Team Hominid."

    I wonder how long it will be before PETA shows up protesting on his lawn. Although, my guess is he'd know how to take care of them, too.


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  3. I mucked up that other comment.
    That is one tough hombre' I want him on my team.

  4. I'm sure that faced with a similar situation my training and instincts would have kicked in as well.

    I'd have just switched to auto-pilot and started acting on pure adrenaline.

    I'd have been screaming like a little 5 year old girl and pissing and shitting on myself like nobody's business.

    I would take little solice from the national news stories about how I miraculously managed to save my self by vigorously "marking my territory".

    This is why I don't go outside much.

  5. No, shit! Go Rippy. Talk about keeping your head in a situation. Yeah, I'd want him to have my back too.


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