Monday, February 26, 2007

You dirty rotten filthy stinking animals

I try to be moderate. I try to be tolerant.

I try to practice the libertarian "live and let live" philosophy that I tell myself I believe in.

I don't want to live in a nanny state. I think people should focus more on their responsibilities than their rights.

When someone proposes banning a breed of dog, or banning advertisements for fast food, my first response is "Whoa now, let's not be so hasty!"

But you science-damned smokers make it really fucking hard.

I want to be against the proposed metro area ban on smoking in public places. I want to oppose measures like Germany's proposed ban on smoking while driving, which -- let's face it -- is the next logical step in this country.

But you dirty smokers make it impossible for me not to turn socialist on this issue.

It's bad enough that I have to walk through a cloud of cigarette smoke when I get to work. Science forbid you use the designated smoking area.

It's bad enough that I can't stop at any freakin' intersection in this city without looking out my car window and seeing a pile of cigarette butts in the gutters.

The last straw happened this weekend as we were returning from an out-of-town trip. I'm driving down I-35, eager to get home, when a disgusting Selma Bouvier driving a rusted red Oldsmobuick flicked her butt out her window.

It landed squarely with a flash of burning ash on my windshield, sending my internal dialog into a stream of obscenities.

You dirty, rotten, filthy, stinking, vile, detestable animals. You know how abominable those butts are. You'd rather throw them out your window than sully your own rust bucket with them.

It's obvious that smokers can't handle their responsibilities as smokers (let alone functioning citizens of our society). I hate to say it, but you can now sign me up as a supporter of any and all anti-smoking proposals that might be in the works.
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  1. Dude!

    You are SOOO over reacting!

    "I can't stop at any freakin' intersection in this city without looking out my car window and seeing a pile of cigarette butts in the gutters."

    What the fuck do you care what's in the gutters?!? They're GUTTERS! You may as well obsess about what people flush into the sewers.

    It's not like cigarette filters are made from some unnatural substance, like Twinkies. They are bio-degradable. True, they degrade the bio as they bio-degrade, but still, I'm just sayin'. Chill the fuck out!

    You rant and rave and fume and stew over such little things, you'll wind up like that wacked out XO fucker.

    Oh, wait....

  2. XO, the fact that you quit smoking 6 months ago is proof of evolution.

  3. Until recently I lived in New York City. I was ambivalent about the smoking ban in restaurants and bars that went into effect a few years ago. Sure, I think cigarette smokers are disgusting, but I thought it was their right to do so even though it made my clothes smell horribly to be around them. But, I became spoiled after living in a smoke free city, and now I've become as intolerant as anyone. When I've been exposed to cigarette
    smoke lately it drives me mad.

  4. I'm with you Harry. I still think people have the right to smoke. Hell, they can kill themselves any old way they want to as far as I'm concerned.

    But the fact that they refuse to accept responsibility for cleaning up after themselves and act with decency in public proves to me they they are no better than dogs. That's why the rest of us need to take care of them since they are unable to take care of themselves.


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