Friday, January 16, 2009

Obama's Big Balls FTW!

As Amy correctly and excitedly pointed out, we're down to single digits in the number of days left in our long national nightmare we call the Bush Administration.

At long last we will be free of life's slings and arrows, and a new day will dawn with tons of hopeful Hope and gobs of changing Change.

Unfortunately, some cynical narrow minded people seem bent on harshing the Democratic mellow with common sense. In an attempt to tear down the most successful American president ever, they point out how much this inaugural party is going to cost us.

But I think we should consider this $160 million odd dollar expenditure as an investment, rather than a cost.

After all, there will be no fewer than 10 official inaugural parties and dozens of unofficial ones. And it's been widely reported that these inaugural balls are the biggest celebrations of any American president. Millions of people are expected to make the trip to DC to attend one of these parties, and it can be a painful experience for a president to have so many people trying to get to his balls.

So it's understandable that Obama is approving historically high record spending for his balls.

I mean, you have to expect that when a president has balls as big as Obama's, you're going to have to pay a little extra for them. For example, when your balls are this big you can't hold them just anywhere. You have to hold your balls in the proper venue. And let's face it, those venues can be expensive.

Furthermore, you don't get hotties like Beyonce to come to your balls unless you're willing to pay for it. Celebrity luminaries like Bono and Denzel Washington aren't going to waste their time on tiny little balls. They need balls they can really sink their teeth into.

And don't even think about getting your balls broadcast on national network television unless you're willing to open up your pocketbook.

In his defense we should point out that to a significant extent private parties are paying for Obama's balls. It's only fair and appropriate that the Wall Street executives whose companies have received billions of dollars in federal bailout money should kick a little of that back to Obama's balls.

So even though the economy is in the crapper, average Americans are losing their jobs, houses and dignity, raise your glass to our new president and the way he's handling his huge balls.

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  1. Ha HA! You said "balls"!! I'll toast to Obama's balls, I just think it sucks his balls are so costly!

  2. Beyonce's packing those jeans might nicely there.


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