Campaign Ad nauseam

Why do candidates even bother with campaign advertising?

I know, I know. I can answer my own question. They bother with it because it works. They make horrible ads – I mean c’mon the amateurishness of these ads is downright offensive – because a PR firm or election consultant told them that they can get n percentage of a lift in the polls if they do.

Trouble is, the ads are all the same. And I don’t just mean that the Democrats ads are just like all the other Democrats ads or that the Republicans ads are just like all the other Republicans ads. I mean all ads are the same, they all say the same thing and they have for years (I’ve been voting for nearly 20 years now).

In a year when we’re finally seeing a little original creativity out of Hollywood (a drama show about a comedy show? Now that’s something I can watch), the advertising firms are sticking to the same old hyperbolic, melodramatic bullshit that they know will appeal to the lowest common denominator.

Here's one example. The original poster noted that “who say’s Democrats aren’t fighting back.” I’m not sure what that means, but when Dan points to an ad, I go and watch. The ad is a bunch of hyper-emotional drivel about how if you don't support stem cells, you daughter is going to die of diabetes, your son is going to die a car crash and your wife is going to develop Alzheimer's. You shouldn't vote for Rep. Chocola because he didn't vote for stem cells.

Let me be clear on this. I'm in favor of stem cell research. There's a lot to be learned just for the sake of basic science, let alone cures for every disease known to man. And besides, the state of Missouri has enough excess chromosomes to keep pharmaceutical companies busy for years.

But the way that ad slaps you in the face with a fake emotional appeal just makes me want to gag on a cloned fetus. What happened to the so-called rational, scientific community supporting this initiative?

(I also get a kick out of the people, many of whom rant daily about the Bush administration being in bed with big corporations, who don't see that the big pharmaceutical companies are going to make tons of dinero on this stem cell thing. Hypocrisy can be so subtle sometimes.)

Anyway, the problem with this approach is that it works on the mindless sheep who think CSI is compelling television. At the same time, it's a huge turnoff to people who want real information about where candidates stand on any given issue.

Imagine this fantasy world: Instead of hearing how Mr. Candidate wants your baby dead because he didn't "vote for stem cells" (I didn't know stem cells could run for office), how about telling me specifically how Mrs. Candidate would use her position to support stem cell research.

But I guess campaign advertising is a good proving ground for when candidates are actually elected. They have to learn how to speak without actually saying anything.

tagged: campaign, advertising, stem cells, canditate, Missouri, debate, Republican, Democrat

autumn

One of the many reason I love this time of year...


tagged: fall, autumn, foliage, leaves

Are you in, genius?

Saw this quiz on TFK and Blog Meridian, so I thought I'd give it a go.

The results were encouraging. Contrary to what my Super Model Wife says, I'm not stupider than 98% of the country.

Although in the interest of full disclosure, I feel I should point out that when the third-to-last question asked -- "Without looking, what is the second question that you answered?" -- I did scroll up to look.

I figured, if James T. Kirk can reprogram the Kobayashi Maru test, then I can do the same for some dumb Internet quiz.

tagged: intelligence, quiz, Star Trek, Kobayashi Maru, James T. Kirk, culture

YouTube Tuesday: Et tu Mr. Pringles?

Jeffrey Skilling has been sentenced, Mark Foley was forced to resign, and Mel Gibson has been eating crow since his drunken outburst. Now yet another public figure is facing embarrassment in the media.



tagged: movie, YouTube, video, Mel Gibson, Pringles, humor, comedy, culture

Enter the smoking chimp

Hoards people have noticed some major changes to the 3AM blog.

And what I mean by "many people" is one or two. And when I say "major changes" I really mean a single very minor change.

But it was enough to prompt XO to ask about it, so I figure here's a quick explanation:

Hey XO, thanks for noticing my monkey.

The previous profile image was a self portrait of me as a South Park character. Although, since my eye surgery, it was a bit out of date.

So I decided to shake things up a little (you know how I like to shake things up) and use a new profile image, one that closely resembles my personality. Enter the smoking chimp.

I've been considering adding another pseudonym for the chimp. My first choice was Jack Maimunkie, but that name is taken. Let me know if you have any better ideas.

While your thinking about it, go ahead and check out Jonathan Coulton's My Monkey.

tagged: chimp, monkey, smoking, blog, Jonathan Coulton, South Park, eye surgery

Minor dilemma

JD at Evolution gives a good (as usual) quickie analysis of the Kansas Attorney General race.

I have to agree that Phil Kline is acting like a complete idiot (Al Gore) with his fundraising and memo-writing. But unfortunately, all of the focus on this fundraising issue makes it difficult to judge who would do the best job in the AG's office.

As a JOCO resident, I'm familiar with Paul Morrison (even had lunch with him one time at Jose Pepper's in Olathe). He’s got a great record on criminal prosecutions, winning convictions of rapists and serial killers and all. But I've heard lawyer-types say that he lacks background and experience in constitutional law. Also, do I want to vote for someone who's willing to switch political parties just to get elected?

At the same time, do I want to support Kline if he's showing this amazingly poor judgment in campaign fundraising? And if his own staff/party doesn't support him, why should I (not to mention his apparent lack of respect for individual privacy rights).

Maybe I'll just wage a write-in campaign for JD.

tagged: Kansas, politics, Phil Kline, Paul Morrison, attorney general

Mr. Livingston I presume

Or, "I've got a meeting with the Bobs"

Your local neighborhood mobile phone company announced the other day that it has hired actor Ron Livingston to be it's new spokesdude.

You might remember Livingston from such TV series Band of Brothers (one of my all time favorites) and Sex in The City (one of my all time least favorites).

But perhaps his most-remembered and beloved role was that of Peter Gibbons, the original cube drone. One can only imagine what scenarios Sprint Corp. will place this guy into. The press release says he would be featured "as a straightforward, relatable guy" in the new TV ads -- but you just know the YouTubers will have their own take on the subject.

Which is why I wanted to post this little chestnut in honor of Livingston's return to the corporate world.



tagged: Sprint, Ron Livingston, Peter Gibbons, Office Space, Band of Brothers, Sex in the City, advertising

The End is Near

The end of the universe as we know it is imminent.

Astronomers (for those of you in Arizona "really smart space watching guys") have observed through the Hubble Space Telescope the fate of our galaxy.

They snapped this picture of a galactic collision that began 500 million years ago and continues to this day (at least as far as we can tell through the HST).

"Nearly half of the faint objects in the Antennae are young clusters containing tens of thousands of stars. The orange blobs to the left and right of image centre are the two cores of the original galaxies and consist mainly of old stars criss-crossed by filaments of dark brown dust. The two galaxies are dotted with brilliant blue star-forming regions surrounded by pink hydrogen gas."

Scientest say this is a picture of what will happen when the Milky Way collides with the cosmically close Andromeda galaxy. Pack your bags and head for the giant space ark, because we only have six billion years left.

tagged: space, science, collision, galaxy, Mikly Way, Andromeda, Hubble Space Telescope

Segregation still alive in Kansas

And I have to say that they make a strong case. You have to keep the riff raff away from the respectable kids in the group.



Note: You might have to enlarge (click) the picture to get the joke.

tagged: Kansas, segregation, humor, KU, KSU, college, Manhattan

Nature v. Nurture

The thing about Jack Russell Terriers is that they were bred to hunt. They were bred to go after small animal, chasing them into their burrows with tenacity and bringing them back out dead or alive.

It's important to remember this if you decide to take your Jack Russell to your parents' house in the country (thinking he'll enjoy the chance to explore "the wild"), and they have a litter of two-month-old kittens that you're 4-year-old daughter is smitten with because the kitties are so damn cute.

It's important to remember this because even though you've had your Jack Russell Terrier for six years and have been diligent about training and obedience, when the Jack Russell sees the aforementioned fury little bundles of cuteness he can't help but be what he is. He will dart over and snatch the nearest kitty in his mouth and run off with it, shaking it violently trying to outrun you and break the kitty's neck.

And he'll do this right in front of your aforementioned 4-year-old daughter.

She held up well, my 4-year-old daughter. As she approached the twitching body of the kitty lying in the grass after I had the dog under control, she just said "Daddy, I almost cried a little bit."

I told her to leave the kitty alone. It was probably scared and needed to sleep a little to heal itself. As for the dog, he received a severe spanking and was sent to timeout in his kennel.

I took my daughter inside the house to get cleaned up and get her interested in something else. Half an hour later, I went back out into the yard to clean up the kitty carnage.

But the thing about kitties is that they can be very resilient. There was no kitty body to be found. In fact, the little guy had managed to crawl under a pile of wood and was licking his wounds. He was in surprisingly good spirits. I suspect he had a broken leg, but he was spry enough to leap up on a log and dart into a hole to get away from me.

Some people might be tempted to look for an allegory in this situation, to point out that, like the scorpion in the parable, it's difficult for people to be different from what they are. Some say that if it's in your nature you will sting the frog carrying you across the stream, dooming both the frog and yourself to death by drowning.

But I think that allegory is a bit shallow. People aren't Jack Russell Terriers after all (or scorpions for that matter). We all have the choice to sting or not sting, to break the cat's neck or leave it alone in its sickening cuteness.

And, given the thing about Jack Russell Terriers, we have the choice to not let them loose around baby kittens anymore.

tagged: nature, nurture, dog, cat, kitten, Jack Russell Terrier, choice