Indicator

Hey people in case you haven't noticed, the economy is bad.

It's so bad that the KU basketball program has decided to lay off three refs this year. I mean it's rough. A buck is so hard to come by that Walt Bodine has taken a job moonlighting as The Crypt Keeper just to make ends meet.

But over the weekend I saw a true sign of economic meltdown while on a quest for super cheap headphones for my six-year-old daughter to destroy use.

What was this sign? I'm glad you asked. Allow me to illustrate via camera phone:



That's right, Big Lots is having a FREAKIN' LIQUIDATION SALE!!!

Now, I don't know if you've ever shopped at a Big Lots. This is the bottom feeder of the U.S. retail distribution system. So if the American consumer-driven economy were an ocean, all of the chum deemed inedible by big fish like Crate & Barrel, Restoration Hardware or FAO Schwartz, would filter down to smaller fish like Target, K-Mart and Walmart.

The dregs unworthy of even these "value" retailers sinks to the bottom of the sea, where Big Lots picks it ups, dusts if off and puts it on the shelf and ludicrously low prices. This place is one step up from the weekly Lee's Summit swap meet.

You always hear that when the economy starts to sag (much like Larry Moore's chins), consumers flock to the value (cheap) retailers. Yet, here in good ol' OP, the throngs of shoppers seeking disposable grass trimmers aren't enough to keep the doors open.

Still, I could be misreading this. It could be that the store is closing due to the long-rumored "renovation" of the strip mall at 95th and Nall. I hope that's the case and that in a few months we'll have a newer, brighter Big Lots to get cheap junk from.

If the economy keeps going the way it is, we'll need it.

PS -- I got the headphones. Four bucks.

tagged: Big Lots, economy, liquidation, Walt Bodine, KU, Bush, environmentalist

Friday Blogthing: Wise guy

Your Mafia Name Is Dante "Fatty" Fischetti

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

What's Your Mafia Name?

tagged: Friday, blogthing, mafia, mob, name, cannoli, quiz, blog, meme

Top Ten Thursday

I'm trying out a new gimmick here.

It's been a while since I tried any new gimmicks, so today I'm launching a new gimmick. Just tossing this out there. Throwing it against the wall to see if it sticks.

I know it's not original. Lots of people do lists of all kinds of crap. But I figure, meh, it's something to do. Besides, I once read in a Top Ten List of blogging hints that readers and search engines like Top Ten Lists.

Anyway, it's pretty self explanatory. Each Thursday I publish a Top Ten list on a given subject. Sound good? Good.

To kick it off today, here's my:

Top Ten List of Upcoming Top Ten Thursday
Top Ten List Topics
10) Top Ten Favorite Movies (Obviously, this will be broken into various movie genre categories (Westerns, Drama, Comedy, etc.))

9) Top Ten Favorite Movie Villains

8) Top Ten Favorite Breakfast Cereals

7) Top Ten Favorite Religions

6) Top Ten Ways to Break Bad News

5) Top X Favorite Roman Numerals

4) Top Ten Songs About Coffee

3) Top Ten Favorite U.S. Cities

2) Top Ten Favorite Stationery Items

1) Top Ten Favorite Middle Names

Well, there you have it. Obviously, the use of lists like this isn't to categorically rank arbitrary topics, but rather to generate debate.

Maybe you disagree that Middle Names should be ranked above Breakfast Cereals. Perhaps you think I left some important category off the list all together.

If so, then by all means leave a comment with your opinion.

tagged: Top Ten, list, Religions, breakfast cereal

A sort of Hjemkomst

One of my personal philosophies about travel is that you should do your best to seek out the historical and cultural flavor of where ever it is you find you've traveled to.

I think every place has something to discover. Sure, it might be an easier search in, say, Florence, Italy, than in Liberal, Kansas. But the there is there for the curious and persistent to discover.

It was this kind of thinking that had us spend a little extra time in Fargo during our Grizwaldesque Thanksgiving road trip to North Dakota.

Actually, the Heritage Hjemkomst Interpretive Center is in Moorehead, Minn. It hosts various local art and history exhibits, but the anchor tenant (pun intended) is the Viking replica ship, Hjemkomst.

The ship was the dream of Moorehead resident Robert Asp, who wanted to build a Viking ship and sail it to his ancestral home in Norway. For those of you who don't spreken Norwegian, Hjemkomst translates to "homecoming" and is pronounced (near as my non-Norwegian ear can tell) "yom-komst."

The hull of the Hjemkomst is 76 feet long and 17 feet wide. It took Asp eight years, 100 oak trees and 7,000 rivets to build.

In 1980, while I was busy trying to figure out a Rubik's Cube, Asp sailed the completed Hjemkomst on Lake Superior. Unfortunately he died of leukemia before he could attempt the voyage to Norway.

Two years after his death, four of Asp's children were part of a 12-person crew to finally attempt crossing the north Atlantic in the Hjemkomst. The 6,100 mile voyage was treacherous as the Viking ship was buffeted in a severe nor'easter.

A rogue wave hit the ship so hart that one of the hull timbers split. The crew faced sinking in the cold waters before plugging the breach with burlap sacks.

Hull breach caused by rogue wave in the North Atlantic.

The crew's quarters on the deck consisted of sleeping bags on wooden planks, just like the original Vikings used circa 890 AD (the planks, not the sleeping bags).

After more than two months at sea, the Hjemkomst pulled into the harbor at Bergen, Norway to the celebratory greetings of their cousins.

The museum plays a 30-minute documentary about the project before the tour. Admission is only $7 bucks a person for adults. The admission attendant let our 6-year-old daughter in for free. The ship exhibit allows you to get up close and touch the ship, see the water marks and get an idea of what life aboard the ship must have been like for the Americans in 1982 and for the Vikings in the ninth century.

tagged: travel, North Dakota, Fargo, Moorhead, Hjemkomst, Norwegian, vikings, ship

YouTube Tuesday: Feminists just need to find a man

I was listening to Nellie McKay during my lunch break on my ancient iPod (good luck finding her on any radio station around here). I've always appreciated her sense of humor and social satire... not to mention her phenomenal musical talent.



tagged: Nellie McKay, music, satire, feminism, video, You Tube, humor, Sarah Palin

Borealis

Here are a few of the things I learned on during our Grizwaldesque Thanksgiving road trip to North Dakota:

• Fargo is aptly named. The only thing it's close to is West Fargo (and Moorhead which, it turns out, is not aptly named).
  
  
• Stay away from the biscuits and gravy at the Fargo Holiday Inn. "Stick to your ribs" must have a unique colloquial meaning in North Dakota.
  
  
• The people of North Dakota are super nice, but they misspell and mispronounce "barbecue."
  
  
• You can make it from Fargo to Sioux Falls on a single tank of gas... just barely.
  
  
• It's only a matter of time before there's a Space Aliens Bar and Grill at either The Legends or the P&L District. But they damn well better spell "barbecue" correctly.
  
  
• I spent hours along a lonely highway looking for that bag of money, but I didn't find it so it must still be there somewhere.

tagged: Fargo, North Dakota, travel, barbecue, Morehead

YouTube Tuesday: Scavenger

Hey let's face it guys, times are tough.

People are losing their jobs, NFL teams are going 1-20, auto company CEOs are forced to drive rather than fly private jets, I mean it's rough out there.

And desperate times call for resourcefulness. So here's a video tip on how to take advantage of one of Kansas City's most abundant and overlooked resources.



tagged: Kansas City, recession, financial, economy, video, You Tube, scavenge, homicide

Obama calling

Okay, I get why these guys were fired.

A company can't have employees snooping around in the private files of their clients, especially high-profile, politically influential clients like, oh I don't know, the PRESIDENT ELECT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!

But still, as Johnny Sacramoni would say, it seems "funny, ironic, whatever" that these guys got fired for doing something with Obama's records that Obama himself voted in favor of allowing the telecom companies to do.

For those of you with a short memory, here's what happened just a few short months ago:

Sen. Barack Obama explained his support for a compromise on FISA legislation, saying that concerns over American security trumped, at this point in time, objections over immunity for telecommunications that participated in the previously illegal program.

The old Potomac Two-Step continues...

tagged: Obama, telephone, FISA, politics, Johnny Sacramoni

Friday Blogthing: Typealyzer

I ganked this from May at May's Machete. This kind of thing is very useful for those of us who like to separate everybody into nice neat little psychological categories.

The analysis indicates that the author of http://3oclockam.blogspot.com/ is of the type:

ESTP - The Doers

The active and play-ful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities.

The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time.

Analysis

This shows what parts of the brain were dominant during writing.

tagged: Friday, blogthing, personality, type, Typealyzer, doer, quiz, blog, meme

Go Elf Yourself!

Just in time for the holidays, OfficeMax is teaming up with those knuckleheads at JibJab to sponsor the ElfYourself viral campaign.

And it's obviously working, since they got me to post this ridonkulous video ecard.

Still, with cameos from such local bloggy luminaries as Shane, Chimpotle, Xavier Onassis and The D, I think the entertainment value is worth the two minutes it takes to watch. However, it's definitely NOT as cool as last year's Handbell Hero viral staring Pensive Girl.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

tagged: Holidays, Christmas, JibJab, OfficeMax, viral, marketing, video