Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Lost Tales of 3AM, Part IV: Return of the Ring

It didn’t start out as panic.

I merely had this feeling of curiously not knowing where such a familiar item would be. Normally, I carry it with me all the time. I wear it so much that it almost seems like a part of my body.

But on occasion I’ll take if off, to wash my hands, say, or when I’m working on a project that includes particularly gooey substances (making hamburger patties, or re-caulking a sink or shower).

If I’m doing intense yard work (like replacing a drain pipe) or doing some other project with my hands, I’ll take it off to keep it from getting in the way, or worse, getting lost.

My Supermodel Wife has warned me for years that taking off my wedding ring is a sure way to lose it. I, being the man, totally ignore her advice.

But after yet another day of not seeing it (and not really remembering where I put it) I began, in the back of my head, to wonder if she might be right yet again.

Still, I hadn’t really looked for it. I’m sure it’s in the bathroom somewhere, or up on my dresser. I promised myself that after work I’d track it down.

Of course I wouldn’t say anything to SMW. Why worry her unnecessarily?

But the ring was still missing after searching the usual places. Now I’m starting to get worried. Did I inadvertently drop it in the back yard somewhere? Did I perhaps leave it in the car after absentmindedly playing with it while waiting in rush hour traffic?

I searched all my pants pockets, as I sometimes slip it in there while washing my hands at work. But it was nowhere to be found.

The next day I checked my car and garage before going to work. No ring.

I scoured my cube and work station, my computer bag, all of my jackets and coat pockets. No ring.

By the end of the day, the panic HAD set in. The worst thing wasn’t that my Supermodel Wife might be right (she’s always right, so I’m used to that). What really sent the anxiety meter into the red was the realization that after 13 years I might have carelessly lost this symbol of our commitment to each other.

I lay in bed that evening staring at the ceiling retracing in my mind every step I'd taken in the previous few days. I examined every place I had looked, trying to determine if there was something I had missed.

I'd checked all of my pants, the couch cushions, the washer, the dryer...

Then it hit me. The one place I hadn't looked yet.

I bolted up and quickly but quietly made my way down to the laundry room in the basement. There, between the washer and dryer was a three-bin laundry hamper where we sort clothes.

I haphazardly toss the dirty clothes out of the bins onto the floor. First one, then the next and then finally, at the bottom of the third bin glimmering in the reflected florescent light like a gleam of hope at the end of a tunnel, a shining band of gold.

My long ordeal was over. The ring was safely in place on my finger. I went back to bed and slept soundly.

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Hatching plans...

Our six-year-old daughter is a Type A personality.

She gets that from her mom. Any plan, any idea must be carried out at that very moment. Otherwise, why plan at all?

She has yet to learn of the key roles of time and money. And when we try to explain the importance of time and money, this just leads to more planning.

For example...

We came up with our own restaurant concept while waiting for a table at O'Neill's a few nights ago. Our concept consisted of a pirate-themed seafood restaurant called "Arrjay's Galley." She's been bugging me to buy the burned out McDonald's on the corner so we can open our restaurant there with her kindergarten classmates as the wait staff.

Finally, I had to break the bad news that 1) due to labor laws, she won't be allowed to work until she's at least 14, and 2) we don't have anywhere near enough money to open a restaurant.

So, she chooses to focus on what seems the easiest problem to tackle.

"I have an idea," she announced. "We could save up enough money."

Now, you parents out there will immediately recognize this as the classic opportunity for what we call a "parenting moment." The idea is to heap praise on positive behavior in order to encourage more of it in the future.

When you can combine this with a lesson about money and the benefits of frugality, well, that's just a bonus.

So I replied enthusiastically, "Yes! That's a great idea! I'm glad you thought of that!"

By now, she's running with it.

"We could find a can or a jar or something. And every time we find a penny or a quarter, we could put it in the jar until we have enough."

I explained how, when I was growing up we had a giant glass jar that we eventually filled with all pennies. Still, I warned her that it would take a very long time -- years probably.

But the gears in her mind kept turning. After a minute or two of quiet pondering, she burst out with...

"Hey! I have another idea. Do we have a coffee mug or something? We'll need a mug."

"Yes," I said, curious about what was coming next and eager to pass out more positive reinforcement. "We have lots of coffee mugs."

"Okay," she said. "Maybe we can get a coffee mug and go out on the street corner and pretend to be blind. Then we can ask people to put money in the mug."

"Well... er..." I stammered (Yes. I'm pretty sure that's a direct quote).

Okay, so not every idea can be a winner. What's important is the brainstorming process.

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Tree lock

I'm tellin' you people, times are getting tough out there. It's getting to the point where an innocent mall developer in Johnson County has to padlock their trees just to keep thieves from absconding with them.

IT'S A LOCK ON A TREE, FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!!

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

YouTube Tuesday: Keep your tongues off those poles, people

I don't need to tell you that putting your tongue on a dirty pole can be dangerous, no matter how big it is.

Here's video proof.



Merry Christmas to all.

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Monday, December 22, 2008

FWD: Failure to communicate

Like a lot of dudes, I sometimes don't take phone message seriously enough.

That's why I typically just don't answer the phone at all. If it's important enough, the caller can leave a message on the answering machine. If it's not important enough for a message, they usually just hang up (in which case I probably didn't want to talk to them anyway).

But hopefully, I wouldn't get it as wrong as this guy...

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Friday, December 19, 2008

Friday Blogthing: It's a wonderful life rating

Where would I be without the Internetz to tell me how great my life is?

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:
7.2
Mind:
7.1
Body:
5.5
Spirit:
7.2
Friends/Family:
6.3
Love:
7.3
Finance:
8.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
Life: Your life rating is a score of the sum total of your life, and accounts for how satisfied, successful, balanced, capable, valuable, and happy you are. The quiz attempts to put a number on the summation of all of these things, based on your answers. Your life score is reasonably high. This means that you are on a good path. Continue doing what is working and set about to improve in areas which continue to lag. Do this starting today and you will begin to reap the benefits immediately.

But seriously it's a good time of year, especially with all of the economic doom and gloom, to take a step back and appreciate all of the good thing in our lives and take a moment to remember (and even give a helping hand to) those who may not have it so good.

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

Top Ten Thursday: Hot and Black

Well, I don't mind telling you it's been a rough couple of days.

I'm not going to bitch and moan about my early Christmas present (a severe head cold that has me going through life in slow motion these days). I'll just say that I needed a few extra cups of coffee to get me off of Square One this morning.

Which brings me to today's Top Ten Thursday category: Top 10 Songs About Coffee.

And lucky you, it's an audio Top 10! Here's the playlist:



And, for those of you who are reading this in an RSS reader (you should click to listen), here's the track list:

Top 10 Songs About Coffee:

10) Coffee is my cup of tea -- Lardpony

9) Coffee -- Dave Miller

8) Coffee -- David Allen Coe

7) Taylor, The Latte Boy -- Kristin Chenoweth

6) Two Beds and a Coffee Machine -- Savage Garden

5) Starfish and Coffee -- Prince

4) One More Cup of Coffee -- Bob Dylan

3) Java Jive -- The Manhattan Transfer

2) Black Coffee -- Ella Fitzgerald

1) Cigarettes and Coffee -- Otis Redding


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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

YouTube Tuesday: Xmasy

I dunno what it is with me lately. Maybe it's the fluffy white stuff we've seen in the last couple of days. Maybe going to the Christmas pageant at church. Maybe it's just the contagious excitement of our 6-year-old.

Anyway, whatever it is, it's enough to give an old cynic like myself a mild case of the Christmas spirit.

Don't worry. It's just temporary. I should be over it in a week or so. If it gets too bad, I'm sure a trip to the mall will cure me. In the meantime, here's an oldie but goody.



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3AM Poll: Shoeblogga

How could you miss the recent video footage of Prez Bush deftly dodging a shoe-chucker's projectile the other day. If it wasn't his finest moment as president, then it was definitely up there in the top five.

Actually, I could see shoe chucking becoming quite the spectator sport in this country as well. I mean it's a little more practical than pie throwing and chicken tossing, but it makes the statement nonetheless.

Which begs the question: Given the chance, who would you want to sling your Sketchers at?



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Monday, December 15, 2008

My way or the Fairway

Back in the day, about a year and a half ago to be inexact, a group of Fairway residents protested a project to put a higher, longer bridge across a creek near where Mission Road meets Shawnee Mission parkway.

To them, the new bridge was too large and didn't fit the scale of the neighborhood. It would put a "Highway Bridge" in a residential area.

Fast forward to last Wednesday when the new bridge opened, and I have to say that overall I think it's an improvement. Sure the new bridge is higher and longer - about 100 feet longer and five feet taller for what its worth.

But the improvement in flood control should more than mitigate their concerns of a monstrous highway bridge. And to be honest, it still has the feel of a small-town residential bridge.

I think the key characteristic wasn't the length, but the width. At two-lanes, this bridge doesn't change the character of the neighborhood at all. Rather, it should help the houses maintain their value, now that the risk of flooding has been reduced.


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