Friday, October 13, 2006

Get out of town

A report in today's KC Star revealed that Kansas City is one of the best cities to get out of.

In the event of an emergency (nookular strike, bird flu, violent robot uprising, mutant zombie attack, etc.) the metro area's abundance of paved roads and urban sprawl guarantee that we'll be able to head for the hills, spreading all sorts of pathogens and genetic maladies across the fruited plain.

But the area's "evacuation capacity" has another benefit. It allows most residents to leave town on weekends, avoiding death by boredom-induced over masturbation because of a lack of anything exciting to do anywhere in the city.

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  1. If you're looking for something to do, I have a lawn you can rake while I go out looking for fun.

  2. Hell, most of us with over 32 brain cells "evacuated" years ago.

    If you want something fun to do, it's the last weekend of the Ren Fest in Bonner Springs. As a Ren Fest regular for decades, I'll let you in on a little secret...

    On the last weekend of the Ren Fest each year, all of the Bawdy Wenches actually "put out".

    So quitcherwhinin' and go get ya some.



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