Thursday, February 16, 2006

Eyes only

I meant to write about this sooner, but what with Valentine's Day and VPs shooting people, I just haven't got around to it.

Tomorrow is a big day for me. My life, after nearly 25 years, will change dramatically.

I'm going in for eye surgery.

Chances are you know someone who has had laser eye surgery. Basically, they cut the lens off of your eyeball and use a laser to reshape it so that you can see again.

I can't tell you how excited I am. For the first time in ages I'll be able to see without some kind of optical prosthesis. I'll be able to see the soap and shampoo when I take a shower. When I'm at the swimming pool, I'll be able to use those goggles to look under water at the girlies' bathing suits. I won't have to worry about fumbling for my glasses if an intruder breaks into our house in the middle of the night. Oh joy!

My supermodel wife keeps telling me how nervous she is. She's afraid there will be some malfunction with the laser which will result in me having a one inch hole burned through my head. But the way I see it (currently through my coke bottle glasses), if we've learned anything from movies like Logan's Run, Goldfinger and Star Wars, medical procedures involving lasers rarely go wrong.

And if they do, you can get a neato bionic limb out of the deal.
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  1. Best of luck! I've had several friends have the surgery, and they've all been happy with the results.

  2. Thanks Dan. Maybe I'll become a Liberal when I can "see more clearly."

  3. Heh. Awesome post. Good luck my man with the "frickin Laser!"

  4. Dude, do you read my blog at all??? I am an Ophthalmology nurse. I've been working in an eye operating room for 7 years and lasix is the least of any procedure. Many people I work with have had it done. Dry eye is the only "slightly annoying" after effect that has been reported by one of my friends, but went away with my one friend in about 6 months, she was use to dropping her eyes with saline from wearing contacts anyway so it wasn't a big deal for her. My other friend had nothing at all but she didn't wear contacts at all and she reported that she could have probably come into work that evening if she wanted to but she took 2 days off to enjoy her new vision. Not a big deal, some numbing drops, might sting initially and then go away in a few seconds, blink through it, that helps some people, I have had numbing drops, they never stung me. Then a few slices with the laser, reshape your cornea and you're as good as new for a total of about 10 minutes max. (That's how long it takes us anyway) Don't move, lay still, be comfortable and relaxed. You'll be in good hands. They might advise you to wear a protective eye shield for 2 to 6 weeks when you sleep. Don't pick at, itch or rub your eyes. You don't have to worry about the laser one bit. It isn't going to bore a hole through anything. It's going to make nice happy precise little slices that you won't feel. Nothing to be worried about. The technology for your type is great, now they are working on mapping uneven corneas for lasix as it's a good thing you are a good candidate for the prodeure! Be happy about that and don't worry! If all else fails, you can always come to philly and I'd hook you up with a doc that prob wouldn't charge you if I sent you to him! HA!

  5. echele,
    Thanks for the comments. As you know, I read your blog regularly, so I expected a good comment from you. I'll let you know how everything goes tomorrow. Do you think it's a good idea for me to make sci-fi laser sound effects when the doc starts slicing?

  6. You could if you wanted. If I was part of your team, I'd laugh. LOL..yes, please do, let me know how your sight is after. I like to hear about results. Most people are really amazed. I like to hear what they enjoy doing the most without their some will go to reach for their glasses by habit and then remember they don't need them. Good luck.

  7. The strangest thing...A really cool eye doctor had pity on my broke butt and did me the favor of giving my eyesight back to me.
    I was stupidly being dangerous, but, that's not really interesting.
    What was cool was that the first eye they didn't give me enough "stuff" to really be under,(they need some response from ya when yer down) so when he asked me a question, I guess I just started going on and on and on (if ya know me you know that isn't odd) but he finally kinda said to me, "I gotta work here, couls ya shut up?" and the anathethia, anatheseisolo, guy who puts us to sleep took the hint and I was talking no more.
    Second time I went under, it was like a hammer came down on me and I remember nothing at all.
    The first I keep trying to paint.

    It'll be wonderful to see again


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