Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I need help

They say the first step to getting better is to admit you need help.

Well here I am, admitting it. There are several problems I've been wrestling with lately, and I'm finally going to admit that I'm stuck.

So I'm reaching out to you, my (two) readers, to see if you can look into your hearts this holiday season and see your way to giving me some much needed assistance on these three problems that have been vexing me lo these many months.
  • First, I gotta find a pillow that is comfortable. My supermodel wife recently threw out the pillow I've been using for the last few years. Part of me knows it was time to toss it, what with the smell of sweaty corn chips and all. But the pillows that have replaced it have either been too flat or too fluffy.

    You see, I'm a back sleeper. So I need to find something that isn't so thick that it pushes my head up so I'm looking at my feet, but it can't be so flat that it might as well not be there. Does anyone have a good pillow suggestion? I'm dyin' for a decent night's sleep.

  • A couple of weeks ago I spent wasted 45 minutes trying to solve the puzzles on Guest House. If you're not familiar with this style of online game, it essentially a simple Flash program.

    Your character is placed in a room and your assignment is to get out of the room. The problem is there are no instructions. You have to not only find the clues, you have to decipher what the clues mean and what to do with the objects you find.

    Well, I figured out all of the clues. I solved the combination, turned on the respirator, got the soda can from the vending machine, put the fuse in the fuse box and even poured the soda down the mouth of the sleeping chick. And I still couldn't get the freaking door open. I must be missing something but I can't figure out what it is.

    If any of you computer game savants figure this out, do me a solid and drop me a hint in the comments section, because it's driving me crazy.

  • Finally, I got this email earlier from Jon Swift, a very powerful and influential blogger who also happens to be one of the best and funniest writers out there. He's asking me, ME!, to send him what I think is the best blog post I've written this year for a year-end review.

    Problem is, it's hard for me to choose the best since I think they all kick ass. I'm leaning toward sending this recent post breaking down some new TV shows, only because it contains the phrase "pseudo-lesbian wire-fighting battles."

    But before I make my final decision, I want your input. So go back and read every single post I've written for 2007 and let me know which one kicks the most ass. (or you could just start with these, but it's not an exhaustive list.
That's it. I'd like to have these things buttoned up by COB on Friday (that's "close of business" for you non-corporate types), so get right on it, mmmmkay?

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  1. Finding good pillow is hard. I haven't found one yet. My kid likes a memory foam pillow. I'll try it out tonight.

  2. I bought a set of foam pillows at Sam's a few months back. I use one of those coupled with another, fluffier pillow. The foam one provides the lift and support crucial to back sleeping, while the other basically caves in and wraps around my head to form a nice sound muzzle.

  3. My wife made me buy a Tempur-pedic mattress and pillow earlier this year. She said I would sleep better, stop snoring, become a better lover, and bring peace to the Middle East. I was skeptical, but ponied up the cash.

    Three out of four ain't bad.

  4. For pillows, I like the combination down/tempurpedic kind. Costco has some now for aroudn 30 bucks.

  5. The Easy Blandwagon Method for Comfy Pillow Getting

    1. Go to bedding store.
    2. Identify the most expensive pillow.
    3. Buy it.

    It's not a perfect solution, but it's more likely to work that bying some lumpy bag of cheap foam from Target.

    Failing that option, perhaps ask a really good hotel which pillows they use. Really good hotels do a lot of research into finding the perfect mattresses and pillows to keep their customers happy.

  6. i'd like to help, you rotten SOB, but now i'm stuck in the damned room and can't get out and i will NOT give up...

    can't BELIEVE you did that to me...

  7. We swear by Buckwheat Hull Pillows. Even take then with us on vacation. We've used them for maybe 10 years at least. Read about them.

  8. Get two pillows like Chimps uses. One fluffy, all real down not the shitty subsitute. The second one a little firmer, maybe a memory foam one. This will give you support and fluffyness at the same time.


  10. WTF is that comment from Peter? Weird.

    Hahahahahahahaha about schico being stuck in the room now! Bwahahahahaha!

    I'm with everyone on the memory foam thing. I have the Best Pillow Ever, and Leo would love one just like it. The only problem? I can't seem to find it at BB&B anymore, and there aren't any labels on the pillow itself to tell us who the manufacturer is so we can maybe look it up online. I'd recommend a pillow that says it's specifically for back-sleepers (how you people do that is beyond me, though...I have nightmares when I sleep on my back. I HAVE to sleep on my side, or bad things will happen...), but a nice pillow from Costco for $30 sounds like a great place to start.

    I personally liked the post you had up last week in response to the action going on over at Gone Mild re: rich Republicans wanting babies to starve to death. That one made me cry, almost. Just my 2 cents...(I'll try to see if I can find anything else I'd recommend, though. I'll get back to you with my suggestion by COB Fri. Fo sho.)

  11. Thanks...I'm stuck in the room too. But I told my brother about it and he solved it in 30 mins. Yeah...he's annoying like that. I didn't want him to tell me yet because I wanted to try and figure it out. I now have spent some more time and I think I'm stuck. So in summary and conclusion, I will talk to him again and get the answers and I will get back with you.

  12. Thanks HD, I'm glad *someone* is taking that request seriously. I really MUST solve this thing before next year.

  13. okay - i'm out of the room now.

    it feels good.

    what doesn't feel good is the reason i'm out at all is Asta (who's 4 & 1/2, mind) said, "dad, why don't you...?"

    and it worked.

    emaw, you have to understand something to appreciate the depth of lmy loathing just now.

    i used to own/run a computer game store on lower main years ago, just down the hill from where the plinth to $$$ isa perched across from the marriott. then i moved it to westport, just above blaney's.

    after that i went to work for the gentleman who created ateroids. i wrote a couple of games that did serious coin.

    after that i worked computer animation for film/television; created special effects for movies films/ads/political cmpaigns that you and millions of others have seen.

    i code in my sleep.

    and my &@*-dang 4&1/2 year old had to get me out of a simple room.

    i WILL hunt you down.

    it will NOT be pretty.

    p.s. - was cool, though.

  14. Spent part of an evening in that damn room. But I'm out!

  15. I'm back....sorry to keep you locked in the room for so long.

    Solution to follow:

    There is a gold coin under the girl's finger. Buy the other drink. Pour that into her mouth. Go and pull the blue switch by the door.


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