Snake Saturday

It was beautiful in North KC Saturday. An amazing 75 degrees and sunny with just the slightest breeze to keep things cool.

Although the local constabulary wouldn't allow alcohol on the streets, many of the contestants in the BBQ contest were more than generous with their liquid consumables, which was good because the Snake Saturday parade lasted about two and a half hours.

Anyway, you couldn't ask for a nicer day, and it's still officially winter. So I've decided to coin a new term for spring-like weather in winter, Springter.

tagged: Irish, Snake Saturday, Saint Patrick's Day, North Kansas City, Missouri, weather, spring, winter

asstrology

Did you hear the big news? NASA scientists have observed a gigantic plume of icy water spewed forth by Enceladus, a small moon orbiting Saturn.

This is huge, since the presence of water is viewed by astrobiologists as a key to extraterrestrial life.

In fact, not only do scientists think the presence of water on Enceladus indicates the possible presence of life, they think it lends support to the idea of life on other heavenly bodies as well.

For example, some scientists think they have seen signs of microbial life on Uranus.

(I know it was a cheap joke. But those are the best kind).
tagged: humor, Saturn, moon, Enceladus, astrology, extraterrestrial, Uranus

Disaster or catastrophe

I was surprised to see Xavier Onasis at Hip Suburban White Guy railing against President Bush today.

Really, I had not idea he felt that way.

According to HSWG, Bush is solely responsible for allowing Iran to destroy the earth in an impending nuclear holocaust.

I'd just like to respond with a couple of small points.

First, the humanity on Earth will be destroyed sooner or later, and for extreme environmentalist Greenies like myself, the sooner the better. Then the earth can get on with being an innocent ball of mud and water making it's way through the universe in peace.

My second point is this: Although a simplistic world view might help some people get through the night, purely good or bad guys are rare. No catastrophe is ever the fault of one person, just like no one person can ever claim all of the credit for great accomplishments.

In the case of Iran's nuclear ambitions, I think a lot of the blame can be given to Europe.

But don't take my word for it.

Leon de Winter, a Dutch novelist and adjunct fellow at the Hudson Institute, published an opinion in the Wall Street Journal stating that Europe's lack of testicular fortitude is big reason Iran is getting its way with nuclear ambition.

"The mullahs also knew that the Troika couldn't back up its threat of an economic boycott with the threat of military action. If the EU couldn't muster the will to fight in its own backyard in the Balkans without America leading the way, it surely wouldn't put any lives at risk beyond the frontiers of the Continent.

By contrast, Iran, ostensibly a democracy but in reality a religious tyranny, possesses a character trait that is almost nonexistent in modern Europe: Iranians, almost exclusively Shiite, are willing to suffer."

As usual with the WSJ, it's mighty fine writin' and I encourage you to read the rest of de Winter's piece. Especially you, Xavier, until you become a little older and wiser.

tagged: Iran, Europe, nuclear, Wall Street Journal, EU, Bush, environmentalist

My way or the Segway

Entering the parking garage at work the other day, I saw a security guard on a Segway.

Security guards, it seems, are one of the niche markets for the gadget dubbed by its creators as a revolutionary transportation device. Other niche markets include old farts who use it to transport their golf clubs and lazy bastards who don't feel like walking to the donut shop.

Now, it seems Segway is trying to branch out into a more athletic clientele. This is where Segway Polo comes it.

Segway Polo - that's right, replace a horse with a Segway - is the latest rage among Las Vegas epicureans and nouveau riche Silicon Valley tech geeks.

I used to be good at playing polo, so I've put one of these on my Amazon wishlist. If nothing else, I can use it to go from the couch to the fridge to get another beer.
tagged: Segway, polo, pop culture, golf, Las Vegas, Silicon Valley, nouveau riche

Punxsutawney Phil my ass!

In yet another sign that spring has arrived early (Punxsutawney Phil my ass!), the KC metro area currently under a tornado watch. As far as I know (which isn't very far) it's the first of the "Tornado Season" (whatever that is).

I don't have much respect for tornadoes. In fact, I kind of feel I've been ripped off by tornadoes. I really think tornadoes owe me one. You see, in my more than 30 years as a resident of Kansas, I've never seen a tornado first-hand.

What a gyp.

Everybody says that tornadoes are all scary and exciting, but I couldn't tell you that. In fact, one of the conspiracy theories I subscribe to is that tornadoes don't really exist. They're just a myth, like the Yetti or its North American cousin the Sasquatch. Tornadoes are an invention of old wives tales and Hollywood special effects.

So come on, tornadoes. Give my birthright as a Kansan. Make with the blowing and the swirling and the lifting-up-my-house-and-
dropping-it-in-a-magical-land-of-wizards-and-midgets.

Just don't do it during The Sopranos (debuts March 12, 9 p.m. diggity!).
tagged: television, weather, tornado, Kansas, Wizard of Oz, midgets, Sopranos, Punxsutawney Phil, spring, Sasquatch, Yetti

Zeyad from Iraq

I've been reading Zeyad the Dentist's blog from Iraq for several months now, and so should you.

Zeyad gives an unfiltered perspective on what's happening on the ground in Baghdad. Refreshingly, he doesn't seem to approach the war from a "liberal" or "conservative" bias. He simply reports, almost clinically, what he sees and hears in his city.

And he's a helluva good writer. Here's a sample from his most recent post about the bombing of the 1,300-year-old Abbasid palace in Samarra.

"No further details on the incident were provided, but still, it boggles the mind that such an operation could be carried out twice at the same area in just over a week. Given the historical and cultural value of these palaces and mosques in such a tense area, where a similar attack took place last week, one would think that they would be closely guarded.
But why protect buildings in a country where human life has no value anyway?"

tagged: media, blog, Islam, Muslim, Iraq, war, dentist, bombing

YouTubing

I've linked to YouTube several times, and I think it's about the coolest thing going on the web right now, which means it won't be long before some bastard lawyer (no offense, Dan) with a DRM comes along a puts the kibosh on the whole thing.

Nevertheless, here's my latest favorite, a live action version of the Simpsons animated intro. Enjoy!


tagged: television, Simpsons, YouTube, video, pop culture, Internet, web

So where's Dirk Benedict?

I saw this nerd test on Joshua'sTFK, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. Luckily my highest score was a B-minus, so I'm only about 80% nerd. I suspect most male bloggers would get a A in one of the categories.

---

You scored as Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica).
You are leery of your surroundings, and with good reason. Anyone could be a cylon. But you have close friends and you know they would never hurt you. Now if only the damn XO would stop drinking.

Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 81% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 69% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 69% Serenity (Firefly) 69% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 56% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 56% Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 56% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 56% SG-1 (Stargate) 50% Moya (Farscape) 44% FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 25% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 25% Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

tagged: television, nerd, scifi, science fiction, pop culture, Battlestar Galactica, Dirk Benedict

Bully pulpit

The Lawrence Journal World reported recently on the Kansas House of Reps House Concurrent Resolution 5035 -- termed by backers the "Academic Bill of Rights".

According to the LJW:

The resolution is the brainchild of author and commentator David Horowitz, an outspoken critic of what he says are liberal biases on campuses.

The measure's sponsor in Kansas is Rep. Becky Hutchins, R-Holton, who said it was taken from "model legislation" provided by the American Legislative Exchange Council, which espouses "free markets, limited government, federalism and individual liberty."

There is an obvious link to the Paul Mirecki boondoggle, when he basically told students his religious studies class would be a "nice slap" in the "big fat face" of fundamentalists.

Now, I have some experience with professors who bully their students, though I was wise enough as a graduating high school senior to stay away from KU.

My experience was with a philosophy professor who was also a militant feminist. One day in class we were discussing a philosophical hypothetical when I mentioned a possible course of action for the "lady" in question.

I was immediately chided for using the term "lady," so I changed it to "girl." That too was the wrong answer. Embarrassed at being called out, I wrongly tried to score some points with the class by tossing out the words "dame," "skirt," "doll face," "gal," and "broad" before I was forcefully corrected as the professor wrote "womyn" on the chalk board.

I smirked derisively.

Now, I admit I took it a little too far, but it was all in pursuit of academic enlightenment (and the laugh I got from others in the class). But at the end of the semester, the professor told me pointe blanc that she dropped me from the 95 precent grade that I had earned to an 85 percent based on that incident.

Now, having related that anecdote, I still think House Concurrent Resolution 5035 is a bad idea. The realm of academics should be policed by other academicians.

The best defense against academic bullies is openness and ridicule. Paul Mirecki's loss of status and academic credibility shows this. As with most things, the government should butt out.
tagged: Kansas, KU, Mirecki, academic, feminism, Horowitz, politics

First degree douche-baggery

I recently blogged about the hypocrisy of the American public in its reaction to the port management issue. Well, now it's time to point out yet another example, this time aimed squarely at Europe.

David Irving is, in the parlance of my old neighborhood, a douche bag. The so-called historian was recently sentenced to three years in an Austrian prison for his douchebaggery - namely, saying that The Holocaust was a myth.

As you can tell, I have no interest in defending Irving. He's a bastard, and he deserves all of the unhappiness that Karma has in store for him. But should he be jailed for writing a book? Not in any country that espouses freedom of speech.

There are 14 countries with laws that forbid denying The Holocaust - including France, Germany, and Israel. Some of those countries did nothing when inflammatory images of The Prophet Muhammad were printed in newspapers.

So the West (Europe in this case) is happy to insult Muslims, but will throw a guy (admittedly an asshole) in prison using laws that protect Jews.

The bottom line is that in an open society, it's not against the law to be a douche-bag.
tagged: Muslim, Jew, religion, culture war, Holocaust, David Irving, douche, Muhammad