Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Punxsutawney Phil my ass!

In yet another sign that spring has arrived early (Punxsutawney Phil my ass!), the KC metro area currently under a tornado watch. As far as I know (which isn't very far) it's the first of the "Tornado Season" (whatever that is).

I don't have much respect for tornadoes. In fact, I kind of feel I've been ripped off by tornadoes. I really think tornadoes owe me one. You see, in my more than 30 years as a resident of Kansas, I've never seen a tornado first-hand.

What a gyp.

Everybody says that tornadoes are all scary and exciting, but I couldn't tell you that. In fact, one of the conspiracy theories I subscribe to is that tornadoes don't really exist. They're just a myth, like the Yetti or its North American cousin the Sasquatch. Tornadoes are an invention of old wives tales and Hollywood special effects.

So come on, tornadoes. Give my birthright as a Kansan. Make with the blowing and the swirling and the lifting-up-my-house-and-

Just don't do it during The Sopranos (debuts March 12, 9 p.m. diggity!).
tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Wizards and Midgets...sweet. Tornados suck. You do NOT want to see one. I was driving to a gig (had the drums loose in the van, not tied down at all) and I had a badass tornado literally cross the interstate about 100 yards in front of me. Truth be told, I couldn't see it very well (sky got real dark). I certainly couldn't see if it was assisting any cows or cars in their quest for flight (I should note that this is when I started worrying about the drums' lack of teathering). After a quick change of pants, I realized that I had gotten by unscathed, save the wet driver's side seat cushion.
    The next day (traveling the same road) I saw a really swell "part" in the woods where the bastard had literally ripped a path through the oak trees (and the trailer park behind said trees, of course!). Glad I didn't keep driving when the visibility got bad, I would have been chasing ugly bitches on brooms and annoying girls with red shoes across the countryside.

  2. You know, I'm glad someone shares the gipped feeling with me. True, I've only been in the area for seven years or so, but it's the only thing that we have in Kansas. Telling someone you live in KS and having to answer "no, never" to "have you ever seen a tornado" is as disappointing as living in NYC and having never seen the Statue of Liberty. Or having never been to beach while living in Miami. Or living in Detroit and never been in a drive-by. Well, you get my point.

  3. 3/13/06
    I HAVE seen one in person - two actually...scary indeed, but I can see how the adredaline rush sucks in (bad pun LOL) the people who become storm chasers.

    We were watching The Sopranos last night and about three minutes before the end, the heavy cloud cover blocked the satellite reception! So I'll have to catch the last part on one of the many reruns.

    Very funny comments by your other visitors!


Your turn to riff...