Good call

I previously posted about a killjoy in Vermont who was tired of seeing beautiful naked people walking around her hometown.

The bitter shrew even went so far as to put forth an ordinance banning public nudity. The town council of Brattleboro discussed the ordinance earlier this week for about five minutes before politely declining to take action.

The level-headed town council saw it the way I saw it:

"Winter is coming. If spring comes and we still have a problem, we'll take another look at it," said Select Board Chairman Steve Steidle.

According to the Associated Press, the burg has a history of freedom with the human form, being very open to public nudity, clothing-optional swimming and other events.

In fact, there is even an event known as "Breast Fest," with women parading topless.

In related news, I've decided to buy a summer home in Brattleboro, Vermont.

tagged: Brattleboro, Vermont, nudity, naked, nude, Breast Fest, clothing optional

YouTube Tuesday: Video Exclusive

This week, we bring you a 3AM Video exclusive:
Joel Mathis' First Date!!!

We all know area blogger Joel Mathis for his excellent blogificating at Cup O' Joel. And many in the Lawrence area view the work of our intrepid newspaper editor every day in the Lawrence Journal World.

But only Three O'Clock in the Morning has captured this breaking video coverage. We can't be certain of the original author of this video. Our investigation is ongoing, but we suspect that it was taken by Mr. and Mrs. Mathis, who had installed a surveillance camera in Joel's bathroom to keep tabs on the teenage him.

But thanks to the ubiquity of video surveillance and the popularity of YouTube, we can bring you this unedited footage of Joel primping for his first date.

Note: The following video contains images that may be considered disturbing to some. Parental discretion is advised.



tagged: video, YouTube, music, Joel Mathis, humor, dating, Trekkie

Tenacious D

We were staring to get really worried.

Over the past couple of days, he had gone from his usual happy self, to acting tired and run down, to extremely lethargic, vomiting and shaking.

Dexter the Wonder Dog was under the weather to say the least. X-rays at the vet showed some inflamed vertebrae which could be causing pain and explain the lack of willingness to jump up on everything and chase anything.

For the first time in six years, our Jack Russell Terrorist Terrier wasn’t bouncing off the walls.

Friday morning when he refused to drink or eat (even the special extra soft and chewey sausage-flavored treats I bought him), we finally had to consider that it might be Dexter’s time.

This breed typically lives for 15 years or so, and Dexter has always been as tough as they come, surviving a broken leg as a pup and a scrap with a dog four times his size.

But as he lay on a blanket Friday morning, laboring to breathe, my Supermodel Wife and I were forced to consider the worst. Will we need to do what a broken leg and a big dog bully weren’t able to do? Will we have to “put him down?”

Major bummer. I thought about all the good times we’d had. I taught him all the tricks he knows: sit, stay, shake hands, roll over. He even does this cool thing: When I make my fingers into the shape of a gun and “shoot” him, he falls down dead.

How could we ever consider getting another dog after Dexter?

Luckily, we don’t have to. Dexter was up and around Saturday morning. He had his appetite back and by Sunday afternoon he was eager to go out to the back yard and play Frisbee.

We still don’t know what was wrong. The vet says he probably injured his back somehow – falling down, bumping it or twisting it. I tend to disagree. He’s like the Mikhail Baryshnikov of dogs. He has more agility in his stump tail than most dogs have in their entire bodies.

My theory is that he had some kind of canine version of the flu, hence the vomiting and lack of appetite.

Either way, it’s great to have him back to his old self. Here’s to Tenacious Dexter.


tagged: dogs, Jack Russell Terrier, vet, euthanize, Dexter, Tenacious D

Five favorites

Ganked from Joel Mathis who swiped it from J. Freedom do Lac (what?!?!), here's my list of favorite songs in five different musical genres.

Note: This is my current list. This is bound to change, especially since it's a three-day weekend.

• O Mio Babbino Caro – Puccini (Opera)
  
• I Shall Be Released – Nina Simone (Soul)
  
• Take Five – Charlie Parker Dave Brubeck (Jazz)
  
• People Get Ready – Curtis Mayfield (R&B)
  
• Rapper’s Delight – Sugarhill Gang (Old School Rap)
  
  tagged: music, genre, culture, opera, soul, jazz, R&B, rap

Newest reality show: "American Schizo"

One of my favorite daily read blogs is Wandering Amylessly. Amy is a beautiful person who is brave enough to let it all hang out (metaphorically speaking, you perverts).

In a recent post, she frankly discusses her recent experience with a depression therapy group where, one by one, the participants quit coming to the sessions over the course of a few weeks.

To her credit, Amy was one of the few to stick with it. It's a great story, and Amy's openness shows that she's more to grips with her emotional baggage than many of the rest of us.

And call me crazy, but I think we've stumbled upon the next great "reality TV" show here.

Stay with me on this: 15 people join a group therapy class and each week we see who comes back and who drops out. In the meantime, we get to hear all about their phobias, neuroses, psychoses and psoriasis.

In the end, there is a winner and we all learn a little bit about ourselves.

Okay, find me a network producer and consider this idea copyrighted. Amy, I'll split the royalties with you.

tagged: reality TV, culture, mental health, depression

YouTube Tuesday: Magic Moments

I love this time of year.

The days start getting shorter. The summer heat finally breaks. In a few weeks the leaves will begin to turn and the inexorable march of time will beat on.

And football kicks off.

Ah yes, football. In particular, college football. One of the finest metaphors for the human experience. Always striving for a goal, ever having to overcome your own weakness and the strengths of your foes.

I'm really looking forward to this season as my alma mater begins a new era with new head coach Ron Prince. It's been a rough couple of years for the boys in purple, missing out on the last two bowl seasons after winning the Big XII Conference Championship over the OU Cheaters Sooners.

And with only two quarterbacks, a new coach and new offensive and defensive systems, it's looking like it might be another tough year. But right now everyone's undefeated and as they say, hope springs eternal.

And the purples still have a nice record against those jaybirds from Lawrence to hang our helmets on (at least in the modern era).

Which brings us to this week's YouTube Tuesday submission. A terrific music video of some great moments from the recent KSU vs. KU football series. This video offers some great editing for an amateur, and I love the juxtaposition of the music and the video imagery.

Enjoy.



tagged: video, YouTube, movie, college, football, KU, Jayhawks, KSU, Wildcats, Kansas State Univeristy

As if being a teen isn't bad enough

Remember how much puberty sucked?

The gawkiness? The awkwardness? The bad hair, greasy skin, and clumsiness? The urge to fit in, the angst and the general state of being pissed at the world because nobody understands you.

I remember it. It was the worst weekend of my life.

Adolescence leaves everyone emotionally scarred and a complete headcase. Then we spend the rest of our adult lives trying to come to grips with all the psychological crap.

If we're lucky, if we've had patient parents and we didn't get busted smoking pot too many times, we might just come through it with the shred of an ability to have some semblance of normal relationships with other people (whatever normal means).

But imagine you have to go through all the typical teenage crap while a the same time being held prisoner by an Austrian freak (the entire state of California notwithstanding).

By now, we've all heard the sickening story of Natascha Kampusch, who was abducted as a child and held as a sex slave by Wolfgang Priklopil in Viena. After her recent escape and his subsequent suicide, she seems to be handling it better than anyone would expect (aside from a raging case of Stockhold Syndrom).

She gave a statement to the press today.

"I realised quite clearly what a strong impression the news of my captivity has made on people, but I ask for understanding in satisfying the tremendous interest of the public."

She seems to have a fairly strong grasp on the reality of what happened to her. If this were the end of it, one could almost call it a happy ending, at least as happy as it could get.

Unfortunately for young Natascha, she's got a huge struggle ahead. Not only will she have to come to grips with the last eight years of her life, she'll have to do so under the crushing pressure of a media spotlight and the severe strain of those trying to get a piece of her 664,900 euros compensation from the Austrian government.

I say good luck to her. I hope money and media don't make her a prisoner the way her captor did.

tagged: Natascha Kampusch, sex slave, Viena, teen, puberty, adolescence, Wolfgang Priklopil

Wet Blanket Award

There's always that one killjoy who wants to ruin the party for everyone else.

You know, it's that guy in high school who would call you parents when you were sneaking a cigarette behind the stadium. Or the jerk who tells the casino that its slots are paying out way too much money.

Well this week Three O'Clock in the Morning bestows its lowest honor, the Wet Blanket Award, on a Vermont woman who is trying to harsh everyone's mellow.

Theresa Toney of Brattleboro, Vermont, has complained to the burg's elders about the rash of nude teens running around the town. For the past few months, as the summer has grown hotter, the teens have taken to shedding their cloths as a way to beat the heat.

And until now, nobody has really complained? I mean, who's going to object to a bunch of nubile chicks and dudes showing it all. Hey, it's a much needed distraction in this small town, so who would have a problem with it?

Theresa Toney, that's who. According to Reuters:

Nobody, including the police, seemed to take offense until one local, Theresa Toney, went before the town government in August to complain about a group of youngsters naked in a parking lot.

"The parking lot is not a strip club," she said.

The irony is that by the time any legislative action is taken, it will be too cold in Vermont to go around nekid without risking a serious case of shrinkage.

tagged: Vermont, naked, nude, teens, Theresa Toney, killjoy, humor, culture

They prefer to be called "little planets"

The international scientific community threw a slap in the face of the planet Pluto by stripping it recently of it's planet status.

Much like my grade school friends and I did to my little brother, astronomers decided Pluto was too small to be a member of the Planet club and kicked it out, leaving only eight official planets now.

“The eight planets are Mercury, Earth, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune,” said the IAU resolution, passed in a raised-hands vote after what, by the discreet standards of the astronomical community, was a stormy debate.

The scientists threw small planets like Pluto a crumb though, inventing a new term called Dwarf Planet, to describe celestial bodies of Pluto's stature.

Of course, it's important to keep in mind that the decision was made only by scientists who have a star on their bellies. The non-star-bellied scientists weren't allowed to vote.

tagged: astronomy, science, planet, Pluto, dwarf, 2003 UB313, Xena

The smartest guys in the room

I watched an incredible documentary last night on HDNET, Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. It's based on the book by Bethany McLean and chronicles the rise and fall of the infamous energy and weather trading company.

Unless you've been living under a rock on Mars for the past 10 years, you're already familiar with the gist of the story. But it was great to see this movie again with a couple of years' distance since the spectacular implosion.

A few random thoughts from the movie.

• Former CEO Jeffrey Skilling was a complete bastard.
  
  Toward the end of the film the characters are describing how haggard and used up he looked (kind of like a guy with no soul?) toward the end just before he retired. It's almost enough to make you feel sorry for him. Then you remember the entire previous 45 minutes of douchebaggery and the empathy passes like a case of gas. In the photo, Skilling is seen telling a lie. How can you tell? His mouth is open.


• Ken Lay was a complete bastard. He was still alive when the movie was released (and maybe he still is???), but his excuse that he "didn't know what was going on" is utterly ridiculous (since all the shenanigans required Lay's approval as well as the approval of countless others) and the documentary pointed this out.
  


• There was an amazing amount of complicity throughout the financial community. We bitch about Skilling, Lay and Pai getting off with a handslap, but virtually every major bank, analyst and financial institution had its fingers in the cookie jar as well.


• Of all the bastard characters, only Andrew Fastow came off as the least bit sympathetic. Fastow, the architect of the "off-balance sheet" accounts, got busted and actually admitted wrong-doing, was fined millions of dinero and is now doing time in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
  


• Big balls to Sherron Watkins, the whistle blower who virtually called Skilling a dirty liar to his face during federal hearings.

The film is highly entertaining, but it has a tendency to "angry up the blood" as Grandpa Simpson would say. Some would be tempted to point to this as an example of how evil all corporations are. But that would be missing the point.

Anytime the pursuit of money is placed as the only (not just the most important) priority, there is a risk of this kind of hyper-corruption. It could be a corporation, a communist politburo or a hipity-hop rap crew.

It's all a matter of priorities.

tagged: Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, Ken Lay, corporation, corruption, culture, Bethany McLean