tagged: wordle, blog, image
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Olympics, schmolympics
A lot of people have been sharing their thoughts about the Olympics. Everyone seems to have caught the Olympic fever.
Me? I just can't seem to get into it. Believe me, I've tried. But I don't know, everything just seems so corporate and overproduced.
I've tried to be interested. Hell, with five or six channels of Olympic coverage, they certainly make it easy to follow. Problem is, every time I try to tune in on the teevee machine, I end up tuning out mentally.
But with the closing ceremonies starting today, or tomorrow, or within the next few days or whatever, I thought I'd give a few thoughts on what little I have seen.
Here's what I managed to force myself to sit through:
tagged: Olympics, gymnastics, handball, Michael Phelps, drums, Bob Costas
Me? I just can't seem to get into it. Believe me, I've tried. But I don't know, everything just seems so corporate and overproduced.
I've tried to be interested. Hell, with five or six channels of Olympic coverage, they certainly make it easy to follow. Problem is, every time I try to tune in on the teevee machine, I end up tuning out mentally.
But with the closing ceremonies starting today, or tomorrow, or within the next few days or whatever, I thought I'd give a few thoughts on what little I have seen.
Here's what I managed to force myself to sit through:
Part of the opening ceremonies: I saw that part where 2,008 Chinese guys were pounding drums in unison. Impressive? Yes. Scary?... Well, let me just say that it's not a huge leap to go from carrying a drum mallet to carrying a rifle. You tellin' me you don't think that was a military display?- Synchronized diving: What? I'm sorry but this must be one of the lamest of the so-called sports. Yes, I agree that the athletes are... well.. athletic. But is it a sport? More on this later.
- Bob Costas: Am I the only one who thinks Bobski looks like he's suffering from a case of permanent jet lag? Could be just the High Definition TV, but he's looked really tired every time I've seen him (about three times). Also, does he wear a hairpiece now?
Michael Phelps: Did you notice how nobody gives a crap about swimming when the Olympics aren't going on? Still, good job for Mr. Phelps on his history-setting performance. But if I know the American viewing public (and let's face it, I AM the American viewing public), nobody will remember his name when the next season of Deal or No Dancing with America's Top Survivor Idol starts.- That weird sport that is kind of like hockey on a basketball court but without sticks and using soccer goals: What the hell is the deal with that sport anyways?
- Women's gymnastics: I guess having an American get screwed by the Chinese judges should piss me off. Unfortunately, I couldn't give less of a shit about these dwarf women swinging around on bars.
Look, I don't even consider gymnastics to be much a sport. Sure, like the divers, they're athletic. But for me, if a judge (or panel of judges) is making subjective decisions on wins, then that makes it more of an exhibition than a competition. As you saw the other night, the judges have too much influence on the outcome. Now, show me full contact sudden death gymnastics and you'll have my attention.
tagged: Olympics, gymnastics, handball, Michael Phelps, drums, Bob Costas
Friday Blogthing: Go to Helvetica
I like this. It gives me an excuse when I'm at parties to say "It's not that I'm boring, it's just that you don't 'get' me."
tagged: Friday, blogthing, font, Helvetica,, clean, quiz, blog, meme
You Are Helvetica |
 Your life is ultra modern and ultra streamlined. You don't get bogged down in details or decoration. You like to think that you're the epitome of style and taste. People either totally get you - or they think you're boring and generic. |
tagged: Friday, blogthing, font, Helvetica,, clean, quiz, blog, meme
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Electric Emu
What the hell is the deal with Florida cops and their Tasers?
tagged: Florida, sheriff, deputies, Tazer, emu
Bay County Sheriff's deputies were forced to use a Taser to subdue an escaped emu named Plop-Plop. The large female bird escaped from a farm last weekend and on Monday, she holed up with some horses and goats in a pen.Next time I go to Florida, remind me to wear my rubber long underwear. Sheesh!
When deputies arrived, the emu "went kind of crazy," said Sheriff's deputy Randolph Grob.
The deputies didn't want the bird to hurt itself or them, so the used the Taser stun gun to immobilize Plop-Plop.
The emu was brought to the Bay County Animal Control Center, where she has made a full recovery. The bird's owner is expected to take her home soon.
tagged: Florida, sheriff, deputies, Tazer, emu
KCMSD3K
With the new school year now in full swing, I wanted to take a moment and reflect on the recent brouhaha between the Independence and Kansas City Metropolitan school districts.
For those of you in Johnson County who aren't used to the drama of dysfunctional government, let me summarize the events:
A group of concerned Independence residents finally became fed up with enough with the perceived mismanagement of the schools and the continual lack of academic progress. They decided they wanted to abandon the rest of the district and hitch up with neighboring Independence School District.
The plan went to a vote, was passed, and the schools officially swapped districts. Unfortunately, weeks of legal wrangling followed where KCMSD did it's best to not let the schools go, asking for mo' money and locking Independence officials (and janitors) out of the buildings.
It provided much fodder for bloggers and commenters to remark how the KCMOSD officials were behaving like adolescents (or, as Heather puts it "...like bitchy ex-wives dividing property with their ex-husbands").
But as you all know, I like to look at the bright side of things. I think now is a good time to look at the important ways the KCMSD is helping the entire community of Kansas City, Missouri.
For example, thanks to the KCMSD school board, literally BILLIONS of dollars have been distributed into the community. The school board and administration had developed a fine art of distributing the districts largess (and the largess of the state and federal governments, to boot) in the form of kickbacks, bribes, payoff, sweetheart deals and other graft.
Can you imagine what the community would be like without that kind of influence?
Also, let's not forget the success the KCMSD has had in ridding the city of those nasty white people. Let the Liberty and Independence, Overland Park and Olathe schools have those pasty, uncultured, non-diversity, vampires who suck the life from KC and spoiled little girls who are partying on somebody else's dime. I say good riddance to them!
So stand up and celebrate, residents of Kansas City, Missouri. The school board you have elected is doing okay by you.
tagged: Kansas City, Missouri, school board, education, Independence
For those of you in Johnson County who aren't used to the drama of dysfunctional government, let me summarize the events:A group of concerned Independence residents finally became fed up with enough with the perceived mismanagement of the schools and the continual lack of academic progress. They decided they wanted to abandon the rest of the district and hitch up with neighboring Independence School District.
The plan went to a vote, was passed, and the schools officially swapped districts. Unfortunately, weeks of legal wrangling followed where KCMSD did it's best to not let the schools go, asking for mo' money and locking Independence officials (and janitors) out of the buildings.
It provided much fodder for bloggers and commenters to remark how the KCMOSD officials were behaving like adolescents (or, as Heather puts it "...like bitchy ex-wives dividing property with their ex-husbands").
But as you all know, I like to look at the bright side of things. I think now is a good time to look at the important ways the KCMSD is helping the entire community of Kansas City, Missouri.
For example, thanks to the KCMSD school board, literally BILLIONS of dollars have been distributed into the community. The school board and administration had developed a fine art of distributing the districts largess (and the largess of the state and federal governments, to boot) in the form of kickbacks, bribes, payoff, sweetheart deals and other graft.Can you imagine what the community would be like without that kind of influence?
Also, let's not forget the success the KCMSD has had in ridding the city of those nasty white people. Let the Liberty and Independence, Overland Park and Olathe schools have those pasty, uncultured, non-diversity, vampires who suck the life from KC and spoiled little girls who are partying on somebody else's dime. I say good riddance to them!
So stand up and celebrate, residents of Kansas City, Missouri. The school board you have elected is doing okay by you.
tagged: Kansas City, Missouri, school board, education, Independence
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tails of the weird
I squinted skeptically as I heard the story relayed to me fourth-hand.
My Supermodel Wife had heard it from my mother-in-law who had relayed it from my my SMW's grandmother who had heard it from my SMW's uncle. If you had trouble following that, don't worry. It's all relative.
Anyway, the point is I was about four degrees removed from the horses mouth on this one, and as REO Speedwagon reminds us, tales grow taller on down the line.
But here's what I heard (this makes you guys fifth in line): SMW's uncle was swathing wheat (whatever that means) on the family farm in north central Kansas. As he was driving the swather around the field, he saw a strange looking animal running around.
It was about the size of a small dog, but hairless with a naked tail like a rat and gnarly looking fangs. He took note but, as he had a lot of field to mow and a limited amount of daylight, he kept swathing.
Then, some time later, he felt something hit the blades of the swather in a way that plants usually don't. Getting down, he saw that the animal had been nesting in the field and that he had run over it, slicing it in half with the farm implement.
He told the story to his mother (my SMW's grandmother), who told my mother-in-law, who told my SMW, who told me (stick with me here, I know it's confusing), she (grandmother) noted that she had seen a similar critter skulking around her farmhouse nearby, and that it had eaten one of her chickens.
Anyway, upon inspecting the bisected corpse, my uncle-in-law noticed how strange looking the animal was. It didn't look like anything he had seen around those parts. Hairless, big fang in the middle of its mouth, rat-like tail, about the size of a coyote, eats chickens.
I know what your thinking, and it's not Mark Mangino. My uncle-in-law came to the conclusion that it was none other than the legendary Chupacabra.
They've been spotted before, and in case you're not a watcher of late-night sci-fi television, here's a blurb from wikipedia:
No. In my expert opinion we have a coyote, possibly suffering from a genetic condition known as "larrymoritis", with severe case of the mange.
But, as many of you already know, my motto is "Be skeptical, but keep an open mind, and pass the whiskey." So I'm just going to put this out there for you guys to decide for yourselves.
Oh, c'mon. You knew there would be pictures...
tagged: chupacabra, chupacabre, legend, monster, photo, animal, science
My Supermodel Wife had heard it from my mother-in-law who had relayed it from my my SMW's grandmother who had heard it from my SMW's uncle. If you had trouble following that, don't worry. It's all relative.
Anyway, the point is I was about four degrees removed from the horses mouth on this one, and as REO Speedwagon reminds us, tales grow taller on down the line.
But here's what I heard (this makes you guys fifth in line): SMW's uncle was swathing wheat (whatever that means) on the family farm in north central Kansas. As he was driving the swather around the field, he saw a strange looking animal running around.It was about the size of a small dog, but hairless with a naked tail like a rat and gnarly looking fangs. He took note but, as he had a lot of field to mow and a limited amount of daylight, he kept swathing.
Then, some time later, he felt something hit the blades of the swather in a way that plants usually don't. Getting down, he saw that the animal had been nesting in the field and that he had run over it, slicing it in half with the farm implement.
He told the story to his mother (my SMW's grandmother), who told my mother-in-law, who told my SMW, who told me (stick with me here, I know it's confusing), she (grandmother) noted that she had seen a similar critter skulking around her farmhouse nearby, and that it had eaten one of her chickens.
Anyway, upon inspecting the bisected corpse, my uncle-in-law noticed how strange looking the animal was. It didn't look like anything he had seen around those parts. Hairless, big fang in the middle of its mouth, rat-like tail, about the size of a coyote, eats chickens.
I know what your thinking, and it's not Mark Mangino. My uncle-in-law came to the conclusion that it was none other than the legendary Chupacabra.
They've been spotted before, and in case you're not a watcher of late-night sci-fi television, here's a blurb from wikipedia:
Chupacabra is a legendary cryptid rumored to inhabit parts of the Americas. It is associated more recently with sightings of an allegedly unknown animal in Puerto Rico, Mexico, and the United States, especially in the latter's Latin American communities.You can understand my skepticism. I would have had the same reaction if they said they had sliced Bigfoot in half.
The name comes from the animal's reported habit of attacking and drinking the blood of livestock, especially goats. Physical descriptions of the creature vary. Eyewitness sightings have been claimed as early as 1990 in Puerto Rico, and have since been reported as far north as Maine, and as far south as Chile. Most biologists and wildlife management officials view the chupacabra as an urban legend.
No. In my expert opinion we have a coyote, possibly suffering from a genetic condition known as "larrymoritis", with severe case of the mange.
But, as many of you already know, my motto is "Be skeptical, but keep an open mind, and pass the whiskey." So I'm just going to put this out there for you guys to decide for yourselves.
Oh, c'mon. You knew there would be pictures...
tagged: chupacabra, chupacabre, legend, monster, photo, animal, science
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Random photo XIII: State flower
Now that summer is winding down, the sunflowers we planted in our backyard garden are just blooming.
I wanted to snap a quick shot while they were still in all their glory. Here's what they looked like this morning.
tagged: sunflower, summer, garden, Random Photo, flower
I wanted to snap a quick shot while they were still in all their glory. Here's what they looked like this morning.
tagged: sunflower, summer, garden, Random Photo, flower
Youtube Tuesday: Nite Fite
One of the funnier "original programming" options available on the interwebs these days is Nite Fite with hosts Penalty and Lloyd.
An entertaining send up of your typical obnoxious cable channel talking heads, Penalty and Lloyd have tackled such issues as the fate of the dinosaurs, stick shift vs automatic and Morgan Freeman in their firs half dozen episodes.
In this episode they host Schism of The Wang Warriors and take on the most offensive, repulsive form of music out there. Hey, entertaining and informative...
tagged: Nite Fite, Penalty, Lloyd, The Wang Warriors, music, humor, YouTube, video
An entertaining send up of your typical obnoxious cable channel talking heads, Penalty and Lloyd have tackled such issues as the fate of the dinosaurs, stick shift vs automatic and Morgan Freeman in their firs half dozen episodes.
In this episode they host Schism of The Wang Warriors and take on the most offensive, repulsive form of music out there. Hey, entertaining and informative...
tagged: Nite Fite, Penalty, Lloyd, The Wang Warriors, music, humor, YouTube, video
Monday, August 18, 2008
3AM Salutes Phill Kline
3 A.M. Salutes Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you...
Mr. Abortion-fixated soon-to-be-former County Attorney guy.
(Mr. Abortion-fixated soon-to-be-former County Attorney guy!)
Though you've practiced law for only six short years, you've shown us all the importance of qualified candidates for state and county offices.
(The world needs bad examples too!)
You've never lost sight of the fact that, much like yourself, the law is a tool.
A tool not only to be used for justice, but for the heavy handed pursuit of personal agendas.
(What a gigantic tool!)
Though some have called you greedy, callous and exploitative, through it all you've kept your mind closed and your mouth open. You've let all men know that Phill Kline's best asset is his lie ability.
(The extra "L" is for "Loser")
No matter how many laws you had to break, or lives you had to ruin, you've always made sure your $upporters got their money's worth.
(Has the photo op started yet?)
So file one last injunction, oh sniffer of young girls' panties. Because even though your career has had a late-term abortion at the state and county levels, there's still a seat at the local bar for you.
(Real Men of Genius!)
tagged: politics, Phill Kline, Kansas, Johnson County, law, humor
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you...
Mr. Abortion-fixated soon-to-be-former County Attorney guy.
(Mr. Abortion-fixated soon-to-be-former County Attorney guy!)
Though you've practiced law for only six short years, you've shown us all the importance of qualified candidates for state and county offices.(The world needs bad examples too!)
You've never lost sight of the fact that, much like yourself, the law is a tool.
A tool not only to be used for justice, but for the heavy handed pursuit of personal agendas.
(What a gigantic tool!)
Though some have called you greedy, callous and exploitative, through it all you've kept your mind closed and your mouth open. You've let all men know that Phill Kline's best asset is his lie ability.
(The extra "L" is for "Loser")
No matter how many laws you had to break, or lives you had to ruin, you've always made sure your $upporters got their money's worth.
(Has the photo op started yet?)
So file one last injunction, oh sniffer of young girls' panties. Because even though your career has had a late-term abortion at the state and county levels, there's still a seat at the local bar for you.
(Real Men of Genius!)
tagged: politics, Phill Kline, Kansas, Johnson County, law, humor
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