Thursday, December 11, 2008

Top Ten Thursday: Top 10 Favorite Words from the Current Financial Meltdown

During our recent Grizwaldesque Thanksgiving road trip to North Dakota, I had a chance to catch up on all of the awesome NPR Planet Money podcasts. This is great programming and well worth the price of the download (it's free, btw).

Anyway, this crash course in the crashing economy gave me a new appreciation for some of the financial lingo. This week, I rank my Top 10 Favorite Words from the Current Financial Meltdown.

The main criteria was how cool I thought the words sounded, but I gave bonus points for the potential for double entendre.
Top 10 Favorite Words
from the Current Financial Meltdown

10) Collateralized Debt Obligation

9) Mortgage-backed security

8) NINJA loan -- No Income? No Job or Assets? No problem.

7) Swap line -- I've heard of parties in Overland Park where these were popular.

6) Troubled Asset -- Do these jeans make my assets look troubled?

5) Naked Short Selling

4) Deflation -- "I swear baby, this has never happened to me before..."

3) Stimulus package -- We've covered this before.

2) TED Spread -- That TED is such a floozy

1) Capital Injection
There you have it. As always, if you think I'm wrong on the ranking or if I missed something, feel free to say so in the comments.

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Thainfully employeed

I've tried to stay quiet on this one, but I can't just sit here while the angry mobs unjustly go after an upstanding citizen without saying a few words.

The media and bloggers have gone after John Thain pretty aggressively in the past week or so, and I'd just like to take this opportunity to suggest that a little slack cutting might be in order.

For those of you who haven't been paying attention, Thain is the embattled CEO of Merrill Lynch who has had everyone up in his jock simply because he requested a salary bonus that was rightfully his.

The Wall Street Journal reported on Monday that:
Merrill Lynch & Co. chief John Thain has suggested to directors that he get a 2008 bonus of as much as $10 million...

The committee and full board are scheduled to meet Monday to hear Mr. Thain's formal bonus recommendations for himself and other senior executives of the New York company. No decision has been reached, and it isn't known what Mr. Thain will recommend, but the compensation committee is leaning toward denying the executives bonuses for this year...
Suddenly everyone was jumping on Thain's case for having such hubris, asking for a $10 million bonus while the economy, led by the banking sector that he was a major player in, when down the crapper.

From Donkelphant:
Why? Because he set up a deal for Bank of America to buy Merrill Lynch. That’s right. The firm was in dire straits and needed somebody to save them. That’s why this guy thinks he’s entitled to this cash.
From WSJ Blogs:
there will probably be a scant few who judge that in a time of turmoil, a few phone calls to BofA CEO Ken Lewis is worth an extra $10 million..."
There are many more examples of people eager to place their dagger in Thain's back. But I come not to bury Thain, but to honor him.

I mean, shouldn't we look at the entire body of Thain's work at Merrill Lynch when assessing his bonus request? He was there for an entire year, after all.

Sure, maybe his company lost a few 11 billion dollars while he was the boss. Okay, granted the company's stock lost 80 percent of it's value, dropping from about $50 a share to (one sec while I check)... $14 bucks. Maybe he was forced to sell his company at a steep discount and risk the jobs of 30,000 employees.

But c'mon guys. This is America. We all about giving people a second chance. We're about understanding when someone has bad luck, not kicking them when they're down.

We're not going to fire you just because your wife ran around the office barefoot, insulted your coworkers and employees and performed ancient Druid rituals to try to get a tenant for the Sprint Center.

We still support you even if your pro-football team only wins six games in the last two years.

We don't blame you for having a bit too much to drink and driving your oil tanker into a mountain, despoiling pristine Alaskan wildlife habitats.

What we need to remember is that without his $10 million bonus, Thain only makes about $750,000 a year. Anyone care to tell me how he's supposed to replace the leather on the seats of his private jet on only $750,000 a year? Do you know how much it costs to pay illegal aliens to clean his 29-room Central Park West condo?

All I'm saying is that before we start criticizing Thain, we should all walk a mile in his Berlutis.

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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

TV tech

KCTV Channel 5 was pimping some kick-ass new technology on their news cast last night.

Seriously, every five minutes the announcers were dropping in mentions of this new, cutting edge technology that they were debuting, just in time for the first major snowtastrophy of the season.

What was this new technology? A new form of super live action laser Doppler radar? Pffth, that's yesterday's news. A bitchin' new weather control device? Still in development unfortunately.

Nope, the new technology was a video camera affixed to a news van, the pictures of which show you the road conditions at any given moment.

AWESOME! KCTV5 has invented duct taping a video camera to your bumper.

Actually if my pop culture history serves me well, I'm pretty sure Tony Soprano invented this about 10 years ago.



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YouTube Tuesday: A holiday favorite

As we find ourselves falling deeper and deeper into debt the holiday spirit, here's a Christmas classic that is sure to tug at the heart srings of some of you.

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Monday, December 08, 2008

Indicator

Hey people in case you haven't noticed, the economy is bad.

It's so bad that the KU basketball program has decided to lay off three refs this year. I mean it's rough. A buck is so hard to come by that Walt Bodine has taken a job moonlighting as The Crypt Keeper just to make ends meet.

But over the weekend I saw a true sign of economic meltdown while on a quest for super cheap headphones for my six-year-old daughter to destroy use.

What was this sign? I'm glad you asked. Allow me to illustrate via camera phone:



That's right, Big Lots is having a FREAKIN' LIQUIDATION SALE!!!

Now, I don't know if you've ever shopped at a Big Lots. This is the bottom feeder of the U.S. retail distribution system. So if the American consumer-driven economy were an ocean, all of the chum deemed inedible by big fish like Crate & Barrel, Restoration Hardware or FAO Schwartz, would filter down to smaller fish like Target, K-Mart and Walmart.

The dregs unworthy of even these "value" retailers sinks to the bottom of the sea, where Big Lots picks it ups, dusts if off and puts it on the shelf and ludicrously low prices. This place is one step up from the weekly Lee's Summit swap meet.

You always hear that when the economy starts to sag (much like Larry Moore's chins), consumers flock to the value (cheap) retailers. Yet, here in good ol' OP, the throngs of shoppers seeking disposable grass trimmers aren't enough to keep the doors open.

Still, I could be misreading this. It could be that the store is closing due to the long-rumored "renovation" of the strip mall at 95th and Nall. I hope that's the case and that in a few months we'll have a newer, brighter Big Lots to get cheap junk from.

If the economy keeps going the way it is, we'll need it.

PS -- I got the headphones. Four bucks.

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Friday, December 05, 2008

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Top Ten Thursday

I'm trying out a new gimmick here.

It's been a while since I tried any new gimmicks, so today I'm launching a new gimmick. Just tossing this out there. Throwing it against the wall to see if it sticks.

I know it's not original. Lots of people do lists of all kinds of crap. But I figure, meh, it's something to do. Besides, I once read in a Top Ten List of blogging hints that readers and search engines like Top Ten Lists.

Anyway, it's pretty self explanatory. Each Thursday I publish a Top Ten list on a given subject. Sound good? Good.

To kick it off today, here's my:
Top Ten List of Upcoming Top Ten Thursday
Top Ten List Topics

10) Top Ten Favorite Movies (Obviously, this will be broken into various movie genre categories (Westerns, Drama, Comedy, etc.))

9) Top Ten Favorite Movie Villains

8) Top Ten Favorite Breakfast Cereals

7) Top Ten Favorite Religions

6) Top Ten Ways to Break Bad News

5) Top X Favorite Roman Numerals

4) Top Ten Songs About Coffee

3) Top Ten Favorite U.S. Cities

2) Top Ten Favorite Stationery Items

1) Top Ten Favorite Middle Names
Well, there you have it. Obviously, the use of lists like this isn't to categorically rank arbitrary topics, but rather to generate debate.

Maybe you disagree that Middle Names should be ranked above Breakfast Cereals. Perhaps you think I left some important category off the list all together.

If so, then by all means leave a comment with your opinion.

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Wednesday, December 03, 2008

A sort of Hjemkomst

One of my personal philosophies about travel is that you should do your best to seek out the historical and cultural flavor of where ever it is you find you've traveled to.

I think every place has something to discover. Sure, it might be an easier search in, say, Florence, Italy, than in Liberal, Kansas. But the there is there for the curious and persistent to discover.

It was this kind of thinking that had us spend a little extra time in Fargo during our Grizwaldesque Thanksgiving road trip to North Dakota.

Actually, the Heritage Hjemkomst Interpretive Center is in Moorehead, Minn. It hosts various local art and history exhibits, but the anchor tenant (pun intended) is the Viking replica ship, Hjemkomst.

The ship was the dream of Moorehead resident Robert Asp, who wanted to build a Viking ship and sail it to his ancestral home in Norway. For those of you who don't spreken Norwegian, Hjemkomst translates to "homecoming" and is pronounced (near as my non-Norwegian ear can tell) "yom-komst."

The hull of the Hjemkomst is 76 feet long and 17 feet wide. It took Asp eight years, 100 oak trees and 7,000 rivets to build.

In 1980, while I was busy trying to figure out a Rubik's Cube, Asp sailed the completed Hjemkomst on Lake Superior. Unfortunately he died of leukemia before he could attempt the voyage to Norway.

Two years after his death, four of Asp's children were part of a 12-person crew to finally attempt crossing the north Atlantic in the Hjemkomst. The 6,100 mile voyage was treacherous as the Viking ship was buffeted in a severe nor'easter.

A rogue wave hit the ship so hart that one of the hull timbers split. The crew faced sinking in the cold waters before plugging the breach with burlap sacks.

Hull breach caused by rogue wave in the North Atlantic.

The crew's quarters on the deck consisted of sleeping bags on wooden planks, just like the original Vikings used circa 890 AD (the planks, not the sleeping bags).

After more than two months at sea, the Hjemkomst pulled into the harbor at Bergen, Norway to the celebratory greetings of their cousins.

The museum plays a 30-minute documentary about the project before the tour. Admission is only $7 bucks a person for adults. The admission attendant let our 6-year-old daughter in for free. The ship exhibit allows you to get up close and touch the ship, see the water marks and get an idea of what life aboard the ship must have been like for the Americans in 1982 and for the Vikings in the ninth century.

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Tuesday, December 02, 2008

YouTube Tuesday: Feminists just need to find a man

I was listening to Nellie McKay during my lunch break on my ancient iPod (good luck finding her on any radio station around here). I've always appreciated her sense of humor and social satire... not to mention her phenomenal musical talent.



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Monday, December 01, 2008

Borealis

Here are a few of the things I learned on during our Grizwaldesque Thanksgiving road trip to North Dakota:
  • Fargo is aptly named. The only thing it's close to is West Fargo (and Moorhead which, it turns out, is not aptly named).

  • Stay away from the biscuits and gravy at the Fargo Holiday Inn. "Stick to your ribs" must have a unique colloquial meaning in North Dakota.

  • The people of North Dakota are super nice, but they misspell and mispronounce "barbecue."

  • You can make it from Fargo to Sioux Falls on a single tank of gas... just barely.

  • It's only a matter of time before there's a Space Aliens Bar and Grill at either The Legends or the P&L District. But they damn well better spell "barbecue" correctly.

  • I spent hours along a lonely highway looking for that bag of money, but I didn't find it so it must still be there somewhere.


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