Sporting chance

I've long valued this medium as a channel for discussing important topics and exchanging ideas on the policies that will shape our society for years to come.

So I wanted to take this opportunity to share my view on an issue about which both J.D. and Lodo have recently opined.

I know it's something that we are all very concerned about, especially in these trying times that we are going through. And with baseball in full swing and football kicking off just around the corner, it's important to talk about... sports.


Lodo made a pretty good point the other day:

Truth be told, the only sports I find even remotely as exciting as sex or live music are basketball and boxing. Especially boxing.

But my response today is prompted more by J.D.'s rather rigid definition.

There is only one absolute rule of sport identification, and it is this: If among an event’s essential ingredients are animals, betting, or pavement, then the event in question is not a sport. All others are negotiable, and the physical conditions of the participants is irrelevant.

While elegant at first glance, these criteria are problematic. For example, professional cycling takes place on pavement. Therefore, according to JD's model, it is not a sport. At the same time, professional mountain biking is a sport because it involves neither betting, animals nor pavement.

Hard court tennis is also played on pavement. Does that make the U.S. Open not a sport while Wimbledon and the Australian Open are? Of course not.

Another example: People bet on college football all the time, but pretty much anyone you ask -- even those who hate college football -- would categorize it as a sport.

In fact, you probably don't have to look too hard to find a bookie to take your action on pretty much any athletic endeavor you can think of. I would say that criteria should be eliminated solely on the basis of being over broad.

As you can see, this is a topic to which I've devoted considerable thought (at least 10 minutes worth if brain power).

Here's the model I've come up with, and it's a good reflection of my worldview in general.

I don't think you can divide athletic endeavor into "sport" and "not sport." It's not an either/or, it's not digital, it's more analog.

There's a continuum, a scale that indicates the degree to which a certain activity is sportish or non-sportish. There are certain criteria that can move the activity to the right (sportish) or left (non-sportish), and JD's rules fit nicely into this model (except for the betting one).

So to find an activity's position on the continuum, considers such factors as the filed of play (including whether it's on pavement), equipment (are animals included), the presence or lack of balls, the physical effort exerted by the participants, etc.

But one factor, perhaps the primary factor, is scoring.

In my view if judges or a panel of judges are the most significant factor in deciding the winner of any contest -- well, that's a major negative mark in the degree of sportishness.

It's such a big factor that I would say sports like gymnastics, dancing and figure skating have a lower degree of sportishness than, say golf or even auto racing.

And, when an activity scores high in all criteria, it's way to the right on the sportishness scale.

• Football: High degree of physical exertion by participants, played on grass (or reasonable facsimile thereof), uses a ball, objective scoring based on achievement of predefined goals, protective equipment only.
  
  
• Baseball: Played on field, low-tech equipment only, high-degree or physical coordination required, objective scoring system, uses a ball.

So you see, pretty much any activity can be graded according to this method. And it still supports my assertion that figure skating, though very athletic, is still quite lame.


tagged: sports, football, baseball, cycling, figure skating, culture

Mugged

I've kind of been bringing my own coffee in to work a lot lately.

Our office coffee is that vacuum packed Folgers stuff. Frankly, it's not that good. And it's become a general practice in my block of cubes to double the dose of Folgers when whoever-it-is makes a new pot. The flawed logic seems to be that if a single dose is bad, then two doses will be good.

Anyway I sort of ignored the last 1/3 of a cup of coffee in my work mug for the last two weeks or so, drinking instead from several travel mugs that I fill up with decent coffee before work.

Well I today I just happened to glance over at my mug to discover that all of the liquid has evaporated out, leaving only coffee crust and a thick, inky sludge at the bottom of the cup.

Note the rings of crust rising about a third of the way up the inside of the glass. It must be some kind of indication of how well the dehumidifiers work in my office. I mean, that's a lot of liquid to just vanish into thin air.

Here's a better view looking down into blackness at the bottom of the mug.


I'm thinking about letting it dry all the way out, then adding hot water to see if I can reconstitute it. Does coffee work like that?

tagged: coffee, mug, office, work, Folgers

The long and winding The Road

Reports are surfacing that the film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer Prize winning The Road finally has a release date.

This is something that's been on my radar since first reading the novel a couple of years ago. I remember thinking at the time that a movie version was a foregone conclusion. The book is written almost as a screenplay.

And, with the critical and commercial success No Country for Old Men, a movie based on another of McCarthy's novels, it seemed studios would be anxious to get on The Road.

Well, it now looks like the film version of The Road is set for release this October, just in time to be the feel-good hit of the holiday season. Original reports were that it was supposed to be out early this year, but it has been delayed for various reasons.

Viggo Mortensen and Kodi Smit-McPhee in The Road

There's not much info yet on the official website, aside from the mention that Viggo Mortensen will be playing the lead. And try as I might, my five-minute Google search produced no video trailers for the film yet.

But there has some hype about the movie being a leading contender for more awards at the next Oscars. I just hope it lives up to the quality of the book.

tagged: Cormac McCarthy, The Road, movie, Viggo Mortensen

Swine flu over the cuckoo's nest

These days, with all of the modern touchy-feely parenting techniques that focus on "feelings" and "self-esteem" and "proper dental hygiene," one very effective motivational device gets woefully overlooked.

Of course I'm talking about fear.

Fear is a great motivator when used sparingly (if you over use it, your kid gets desensitized and then it stops working). Anyway, it occurred to me that this recent swine flu mania was a good opportunity to get in some good parenting moments.

So when I brought The Kid home from kindergarten the other day, I took her immediately to the kitchen sink.

"Okay, the first thing we need to do is wash our hands. It's more important than ever to wash our hands a lot these days," I said.

Of course I received the expected and inevitable answer in the form of a question.

"Why," The Kid asked.

"Well, there's a really bad flu going around," I explained. "It's so serious that people have died."

Ah yes. The fear of death. That should get her attention. But first things first.

"A 'foo'? What's a 'foo'?"

"Not a foo," I explained. "A flu. It's a virus that can get into your body and make you sick. It's kind of like a germ."

"Oh. And people die from it?"

"Yes. They have had people die from it. But as long as you was your hands a lot and make lots of suds, you should be okay."

For the next few minutes we washed out hands together. I told her how important it is to use warm water, make lots of suds with the soap and wash the front and back of you hands, between your fingers and even up around your wrist.

The next day on the way to school, NPR conveniently played the latest tragic news about the flu, and I conveniently turned up the volume for The Kid to conveniently hear. When I picked her up from school that afternoon, I asked if she washed her hands a lot during the day.

"I tried, but the soap here doesn't make suds very well," she said. "Also, my friend Carly doesn't care if she dies."

"What?"

"She didn't believe me when I told her she had to wash her hands so she doesn't die from the flu."

tagged: family, parenting, swine flu, health

YouTube Tuesday: Cinco de YouTube

In honor of taking the day off (I wish) and drinking lots of Mexican cerveza and refusing to refer to it as "Mexican Flu" -- here's a quickie YouTube history lesson for you.



tagged: YouTube, Cinco De Mayo, Mexico, video, RocketBoom, history

3AM EXCLUSIVE: SPECTRE switches sides

SPECTRE ISLAND (3AM) - Global terrorism network SPECTRE announced plans Tuesday to switch sides, a move intended to boost its chances of remaining profitable during the global economic downturn.

"We now find our political philosophy more in line with the forces of good than evil," said super villain and Chief Evil Officer Ernst Stavro Blofeld in a statement posted on a Web site devoted to world-wide anarchy. Several lower level henchmen said a formal announcement could come later in the week.

SPECTRE, the notorious crime syndicate, is one of a handful of terrorist organizations remaining from the Cold War era. It is known to have been involved behind the scenes in several high-profile terrorist operations specializing in kidnapping, ransom, extortion and stolen Soviet rockets.

SPECTRE faced an extraordinarily difficult challenge throughout the cold war and was stymied on many occasions by special operatives of the Western governments. Some proposed that it was this ongoing war of attrition that finally prompted the syndicate to change sides.

"It's true that we never intended to join in the fray directly," explained senior SPECTRE Operative Julius No. "But our strategy of pitting one side against the other to weaken both so that we could then achieve world domination proved to be flawed when the two superpowers made peace."

As a member of the side of good, SPECTRE spokesmen have pledged to use their global criminal network to help Western powers root out and defeat terrorist organizations around the world.

"We have the ability to tap vast resources to provide the kind of critical information necessary for successful anti-terror operations," said Professor R.J. Dent, an operations analyst for SPECTRE.

"Using information we provide, Western governments will be able to engage the enemies of freedom directly and effectively. Our believe financial and human damage from these operations will be minimal."

Added Blofeld, "Rest assured that our organization will stand ready to step in an assist with any rebuilding or recovery necessary if you country is significantly weekend as a result of these operations."

tagged: Specter, Blofeld, Dr. No, James Bond, satire, pop culture

Don't turn around, uh-oh

KCMeesha today has a fascinating post about the revisionist propaganda and photographic falsification employed by the post-revolution USSR.

The post includes a discussion of the book “The Commissar Vanishes” and some very interesting photos.

In fact, the photos were so interesting that it prompted me to do my own ad-hoc internet photo search. I was amazed by what I found.

Evidently, our Russian friend is not only the sole survivor of Lenin's core braintrust, he's also some kind of Jewish/Russian/American Highlander.


tagged: Russian, Lenin, photo, photoshop, The Commissar Vanishes

Hey, there's risk in everything

So yeah, like I said yesterday I taught my kid to make coffee for me in the morning. No big whoop, right?

Well, I received this email today from Phillips, makers of the Senseo single-serve coffee machine I use.

Dear Valued Customer:

SENSEO® COFFEE MAKER

Philips has identified a safety problem which affects a number of Senseo® coffee makers produced between July 2006 & November 2008. Philips is committed to the well-being of its consumers and has decided to voluntarily recall the affected Senseo® machines and offer a replacement unit.

Affected units can be identified by model type, manufacturing location and production date. Please refer to the information below. Only units that meet the criteria in all categories are under recall:

Models: HD7810, HD7811, HD7815, HD7820, HD7832 and HD7890.

Manufacture Country and Date: units made in Poland from 0627 to 0847 and units made in China from 0727 to 0847

Colors: Black, Blue, Silver, Red, White

Unaddressed calcification in the coffeemaker from use of hard or medium water, when combined with an external electrical fault, can lead to obstruction of the overpressure release system causing boilers to suddenly separate possibly leading to injury. Per year, the risk is less than three per million and there have been no reported cases in the United States.

Philips would like to advise consumers as follows:

1 Please look at the sticker on the base plate of your Senseo® machine to identify the model number, manufacturing location and production week.

2 Please visit www.senseoexchange.com or call the toll-free phone number 1-866-604-0051 to register your product and receive further instructions and how to receive a free replacement unit. We intend to replace affected units with the same model product.

We wish to thank you for your cooperation and apologize for any inconvenience.

Kind regards,
Philips Consumer Care

Okay, so maybe it's a little more risky that I thought. On the other hand, when has anyone ever died from an exploding pressure chamber?

Sure, there was that time my cousin Jeffrey (who works for the NYC Parks & Rec department, btw) was seriously injured in a boiler explosion. In fact it blew the entire left side of his body off. Don't worry though. Jeffrey recovered. He's all right now.

tagged: coffee, Senseo, recall

YouTube Tuesday: Nunchaku besuboru

I'm still trying to decide whether this is awesome or lame. Right now I'm leaning toward two parts awesome to one part lame.




tagged: movie, YouTube, video, baseball, nunchuck

This having a kid thing is finally starting to pay off

I know some of you out there are completely anti-kid. And I must concede that in theory you have a point.

Who needs the staying up all night taking care of a hungry screaming baby. Or the added expenses of childcare and tiny socks and booster seats for cars and special biohazard trashcans designed for radioactive diapers.

But I can tell you that after a few years, these things start to pay dividends as you begin to reap the reward for all of the time you spent on the rigorous child training program.

For example, our kindergarten-age kid is becoming a convenient time-saving device for me. About a week ago I taught her how to make me my morning cup of coffee.

Since I'm the only coffee drinker in the family, I have one of those single serving coffee makers from Senseo (that I got virtually for free). And using a Senseo is so easy a child can do it -- which is kind of the point here.

So I walked the kid through all of the coffee making steps. I showed her where the coffee pods are kept in the upper cupboard and how to avoid being impaled on the rack of steak knives while climbing onto the counter to retrieve the pods.

I showed her how to fill the water reservoir on the coffee maker with scalding hot water from the kitchen sink.

I showed her how to place the pods in the coffee maker and clamp down the locking lid, how to press the appropriate buttons and set the coffee mug under the steaming streams of coffee, and how to carefully carry the mug of hot java to me without burning her fingers.

So for the last few mornings, I've had a nice hot cup of coffee ready for me when I get to the kitchen.

Child labor, ain't it grand?

tagged: family, coffee, Senseo, labor, parenting