Perspective

The story so far...

I blogged a kind of dumb parody music video during the Christmas season of 2018.

I had nothing to say the entire year of 2019, but the spammites really took over the comments sections.

Then 2020 happened. You might remember it. You were probably there. If you weren't, I can tell you it wasn't much fun. If you were, but you're trying to NOT remember... brother, I don't blame you. 

Years ago, when the Inkernets was still young, a guy wrote some advice to me that I've been mulling over on occasion ever since...

No matter how great (or ungreat) you are, ultimately, NOTHING you do can change the fate of the universe (but everything you do will bring the universe closer to it's fate :). Hamlet himself, the author of "Shakspeare" (the box office hit) once said, 'Ya know, Caesar himself could be this brick in my wall...' (well something like that; I don't remember the exact wording).

The point is this: Whether the universe decides to collapse into a spec of ultra extremely gigantically ludicrously dense material, or spill out over the voids until the last solid body (and brain) evaporates into cold nothingness, you will be able to do exactly nothing to stop it, no matter how great a person you are. 

I don't know about you all, but I take comfort in that.

Cheers, Inkernets...

YouTube Tuesday: Baby It's Woke Outside

Yep. We need to start updating these classics. It's just the right thing to do.

Reflective Ruminations, by Fletcher Dodge

Archeologists have learned that the whole "Pharaoh is a living god" thing was just a big pyramid scheme.

YouTube Tuesday: See you soon, space cowboy…

I read the other day about Netflix working on a new live-action adaptation of Cowboy Bebop and immediately became stoked.

Sure, the Netflix track record for this kind of thing is a bit uneven. But in this case I'm more than willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. This genre-blending Sci-Fi/western/jazz/noir anime was pretty groundbreaking when it came to the USA back in the pre-Y2K era. And when I heard about the Netflix remake, I went back and binge-watched the series (available to stream on Hulu, ironically).

The show really holds up well, not least for its amazing soundtrack. Let's hope they get a release date out ASAP.

Dude… uh… today's already the 10th

I first met George Saunders (figuratively) in the pages to The New Yorker ten year's ago or so when I read probably my favorite of his short stories, Escape From Spiderhead. It's a ripping good yarn that would be a great addition to John B.'s section on post-humanism.

What kind of crazy-ass Project Team was this? 

I mean, I had been on some crazy-ass Project Teams in my time, such as one where the drip had something in it that made hearing music exquisite, and hence when some Shostakovich was piped in actual bats seemed to circle my Domain, or the one where my legs became totally numb and yet I found I could still stand fifteen straight hours at a fake cash register, miraculously suddenly able to do extremely hard long-division problems in my mind. 

But of all my crazy-ass Project Teams this was by far the most crazy-assed. I could not help but wonder what tomorrow would bring.

I'm sure you've all read his recent Lincoln In The Bardo, but I wanted to take today to also recommend his short story collection Tenth of December, which happens to include the above mentioned and linked short story along with a slew of other home runs.

Here's a video of him reading an excerpt from another entry in the collection...

Bullitt List – 12.07.18

Today's category: Profiles in GYAHHH!
Say what you will about the Internet. It's divisive and leads to unchecked, destructive tribalism. It's an amazing tool for communication, offering us unprecedented exposure to different cultures and a chance to draw closer as one world race. Both views, while contrary to each other, are valid.

But one thing you can always say about the Internet is that it's interesting. Well, it's been its usual shocking and gross week out there on the Internet, so proceed with caution.

• Woman dies from brain-eating amoeba after using neti pot with filtered tap water
  I heard that one time a brain-eating amoeba tried to attack Meesha, but it starved to death. #sickburn
  Also, follow Nancy Reagan's advice and stop putting bugs up your nose.
   
• Kona Community Hospital shuts down due to scabies outbreak
  "Kona Community Hospital shut down today due to a severe outbreak of scabies, a highly contagious skin condition caused by tiny burrowing mites…"
  
  Dudes. These are tiny mites… burrowing into your SKIN! This sort of thing is how the Justinian Plague started, right?
  
• Asian beetles disguised as ladybugs burrow into your dog's mouth
  
  
  I mean there's just way too much burrowing going on lately, amirite? I guess this might be localized to the North Carolina region, but still... I see those beetles all over during the late fall.
  
  If I see them trying to migrate into my house this winter, I'll be sure collect them and feed them to my neighbor's crazy barking dogs (I'm kidding! I would never! I'm a dog person!).
  
• Man coughs up bizarre blood clot shaped exactly like part of a lung
  
  
  But perhaps the most GYAAHHH! story of the week comes from the New England Journal of Medicine, which reports that a dude recently died shortly after he LITERALLY COUGHED UP A LUNG!!!
  
  Okay, it was a blood clot that looked like a piece of his lung... because it had been lodged in his bronchial tree and become a cast IN BLOOD of the inside of his fricken' LUNG!

Bullitt List – 11.30.18

Today's category: Nature is not your friend

Look, don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of Nature. There are few things I enjoy more than getting out-of-doors, out of the city, doing some hiking, biking fishing... anything really that will get me away from the soul crushing mass of humanity that weighs down on all city dwellers 24-hours a day (Not you though. You're cool. You're alright. I'm referring to all of the other humanity).

But let's face it, that fandom is a one way street. Those people who say that Nature is beautiful are only partly right. Nature is beautiful, sure. But Nature doesn't give two shits how beautiful you think it is. And Nature wouldn't think twice about sinking a cobra fang into your neck if you let your guard down for half a second.

So, Nature Boy, while you're busy thinking up your rebuttal, here are a few Bullitt Points to back up my assertion that Nature is not your friend:

• Scientists Find New, Disease-Spreading Tick in 9 States
  It's not cute. It's not here to save the day. It's here to spread human-killing pathogens.
   
• New Wasp Species Turns Spiders into Zombies
  Just what we need, zombie spiders. Mark my words, this is only the first step for these wasps. They're coming for you next!
• New Weapons to Fight Baby-eating Snakes
  "…they have even been found trying to swallow the hands of sleeping infants."  Good luck with that, snake hunters.
• Young Girl Gored by Deer in London Park
  
  
  Yes they're magnificent creatures, so graceful and gentle... unless they're looking to get it on. Hey, if you only have a couple of weeks each year in which to get your freak on, you might feel a little aggressive at times too. Bottom line, kids: Stay away from horny deer.

Reflective Ruminations, by Fletcher Dodge

Interestingly, North Carolina is the South Dakota of the Carolinas.

Reflective Ruminations, by Fletcher Dodge

It seems kind of sexist to say "Antman and The Wasp" instead of "Antman and Waspwoman"…

YouTube Tuesday: The Ballad of of Buster Scruggs

I gotta say, I'm almost more excited about this movie than I was about the premier of the new season of BoJack Horseman.