More strong-arm tactics

If I were a Jackson County resident, the second thing I would do is move to Johnson County.

The first thing I would do is vote no on the Billion Dollar Rolling Roof Boondoggle. Forget about whether the people can afford it, forget about investment and economic development. What really pisses me off (and I don't even live there), is this continued patronizing tone from the so-called leaders of the community.

First comes the stick: "Give us $1billion or we're taking the Chiefs and Royals away."

Then the carrots: "Give us $1billion and you can have a Super Bowl and a All-Star Game."

Today we hear the ultimate insult: "Give us $1 billion and you can host the Final Four."

No, correct me if I'm wrong, but the Final Four of the NCAA Basketball tournament is a basketball game. So, Kay Barnes, would the basketball game be played in the baseball stadium or the football stadium.

It seems to me the basketball game would be played in the soon-to-be new Sprint Center, which is designed for basketball games. But I guess the only team playing there will be the BSU Red Herrings.

tagged: Kansas City, Royals, Chiefs, Truman Sports Complex, Jackson County, baseball, tax, stadium, NCAA, Final Four, basketball

Hard to find

Australian police recently arrested a man on drunk driving charges.

I know what you're thinking, "An Aussie was drunk? Really? What is the world coming to?"

Ironically, the guy would have gotten away with it if he hadn't stopped the police to ask directions to Ayers Rock, the well-known 1,100-foot high landmark that he was 100 yards away from.

It got me wondering what else this poor schmuck might have trouble finding. I came up with this partial list:

• The Grand Canyon
• The Great Wall of China
• The Mississippi River
• Mount Everest
• his own ass
• a clue

If you can think of anything else, add it in the comments.

tagged: Austrailia, drunk, Ayers Rock, Uluru, Grand Canyon, Great Wall of China, Mount Everest, Mississippi River

Rhett, don't! I shall faint!

Well, I really can't disagree with the readers of FHM for naming Scarlett Johansson the Sexiest Woman in the World (excluding my Supermodel Wife, I assume).

According to Zap2it.com, others in the Top 10 include Angelina Jollie, Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, Keira Knightley, Halle Berry, Jenny McCarthy (???!!!), tennis star Maria Sharapova, Carmen Electra and Teri Hatcher.

I guess those ladies are hot and all, but Johansson, even though she's only 21, seems to have a certain something that the others lack: Class. (No offense Jenny McCarthy, but bodily noises aren't that sexy).

I just hope she stays classy and refrains from whoring herself up like the rest of the top 10. Unfortunately, if Hollywood history is any guide, it won't be long before Johansson makes some crappy dramedy which tanks at the box office and she ends up in a cat fight with Alexis Arquette on VH1's The Surreal Life.

So congrats Scarlett. If you're ever in town drop me an email. And as Ron Burgundy would say, Stay Classy.

tagged: sexy, Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jollie, Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, Keira+Knightley, Halle Berry, Jenny McCarthy , Halle Berry, Maria Sharapova, Carmen Electra, Teri Hatcher, FHM, Surreal Life, Alexis Arquette

YouTube Tuesday

For this episode of YouTube Tuesday (a series I just made up), we revisit the PR troubles Tom Cruise and The Cruistians had as a result of Isaac Hayes quitting his popular role as Chef on Comedy Central's South Park.

Hayes hypocritically stated that he was leaving the show because of the way it portrays religion. This statement came before the airing of an episode that mercilessly mocks Scientology and its famous prophets Tom Cruise and John Travolta. It also came after Hayes participated in mocking every other religion from Christianity to Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, Hinduism and even The Force.

It's widely believed that Cruise had a hand in getting the satirical send-up of Scientology banned from the air. Comedy Central wouldn't confirm it, but rumor has it that Cruise threatened to pull all advertising for Mission Impossible III from all Viacom networks if the episode was aired.

Which brings us to this week's installment of YouTube Tuesday. In the best tradition of the Interweb and sticking it to the Scientological Man, here's the banned episode of South Park "Trapped in the Closet".



tagged: Chef, Scientology, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, South Park, Isaac Hayes, YouTube, Viacom

Need help from KC bloggers

Sunday, my Supermodel Wife threatened to kick me to the curb.

This is a concern on several levels, not the least important of which is that at my age/weight/hairline, it might be next to impossible to find another Supermodel Wife. Also, I've grown quite fond of my wife over the last 15 years.

The issue is an old computer and monitor I've got boxed up in the basement. The computer is in perfect working condition, even packed in its original packaging. Of course, I bought it back in 1997 so the phrase "perfect working condition" doesn't necessarily translate to spectacular performance - even though I added a processor and graphics card upgrades.

That said, I just can't bring myself to send it to the landfill (what with me being a militant environmentalist wacko and all). I've been trying to find a place to take it and donate it to a charity. Maybe a church or Big Brothers or a similar organization that doesn't need a ton of processing powers. And actually, the 15-inch color monitor is still in great shape and would work with any computer really.

So, I'm asking my readers (all three of you) for some help. Please spread the word in the KC bloggosphere. Help me get the word out that this computer is available. It comes with lots of free software (Photoshop, Freehand, Word, Excel, System Software upgrades, etc.)

I'm willing to deliver, and I prefer a tax-exempt 501(3)(c) organization but at this point, I'm not being choosy.

The computer is a Mac-compatible PowerComputing Powerbase model. Here are some specs. The only differences are that, as I mentioned, it has an upgraded G3 process or and VooDoo3 graphics card.

So c'mon KC bloggers, I'm counting on your help. My marriage to a Supermodel is at stake. I know you won't let me down.

(If you have a suggestion for who I can give this to, please leave a comment or drop me an email. I'm serious about this!)

tagged: free, computer, help, Macintosh, PowerComputing, PowerBase, environmentalist

Yeah, that seems about right

You Are 44% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

Hat-tip to Leingirlz for the link.

tagged: evil, good, world domination

...but is it against the law?

I saw on TV this morning (between my 3-year-old's episodes of Little Einsteins and The Doodlebops) this story about Walgreens being sued for insulting customers.

My first reaction was to stop chuckling. My second reaction was to wonder whether insulting customers is a crime.

To be sure, it's a bad business practice. I mean, who wants to be insulted when they're shopping? Personally, I stopped shopping at Priscilla's after they made fun of me when I asked for extra small condoms (even though I made it clear that they weren't for me, but for "a friend").

But I don't know if Walgreens employees broke any laws when they called several customers "CrAzY" and "B--tch," especially if the customers in question truly are crazy and b--tchy.

Have we really become so thin-skinned and touchy to over-react by such a degree just for having a few expletives placed by our names in a corporate database? Wouldn't the reasonable action be to take your business elsewhere?

Of course, litigious as our society has become, there will be a civil lawsuit and the lawyer of the three plaintiffs will make a ton of money from the deal and prices at Walgreens will go up for all of the other customers.

If there are any lawyers out there (Dan?), I'd love to hear read your thoughts.

tagged: Walgreens, customers, Florida, lawsuit

I'll see your Super Bowl and raise you an All-Star Game

Backers of the billion dollar boondoggle that is the proposed Rolling Roof addition to the Truman Sports complex have sweetened the pot for Jackson County suckers, er.. voters.

Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig promised Kansas City that the Royals can host the All-Star Game sometime between 2010 and 2014. Of course, the promise came with a proviso, a quid pro quo with which Jackson County voters are already familiar.

According to MLB.com the "honor" is contingent on the successful ballot measure to approve nearly a billion dollars in improvements for the sports complex.

"Major League Baseball is excited about the opportunity to bring an All-Star Game back to Kansas City," said commissioner Bud Selig in making the announcement. "Kauffman Stadium's construction played a key role in the transformation of modern-day ballparks. With the approval of the proposed renovations, this historic venue will once again be transformed into one of the crown jewels of Major League Baseball."

The same deal applies to the hypothetical Super Bowl that was promised after the stadium tax is approved.

Selig claims that the All-Star Game will bring $50-55 million in revenue to Kansas City as it did for Detroit in 2005. That's an investment of nearly $1Billion for a return of $50 Million.

But given the math skills demonstrated by Jackson County officials in negotiating leases for the sports complex over the past few years, I can totally see this making sense to them.

tagged: Kansas City, Royals, Truman Sports Complex, Jackson County, baseball, tax, stadium

Victim of intellectual fashion

Contratimes author and all-around good guy Bill Gnade posted the other day a link to a Wall Street Journal interview with author and social critic Tom Wolfe.

Mr. Gnade referred to and commented on some of Wolfe's views on email, the Internet and by extension, blogs. Good points were made by all, but my attention was piqued by other statements made by Wolfe, specifically, this notion of intellectual fashion. From the interview:

This is Tom Wolfe's MO--sorting out and at once demolishing pretension, snobbery, vanity in all its guises. "There is such a thing as intellectual fashion--just as we get our clothing fashions--and often it does not mean anything more," he says. "One follows fashion in order to look proper, and it's the same thing with ideas."

The current height of intellectual fashion is to consider the Bush administration an abject failure. To dare to consider that anything positive might come from the administration at this point marks you as an intellectual square by the self-proclaimed intellectual elite.

It's something Wolfe takes exception with:

George Bush's appeal, for Mr. Wolfe, was owing to his "great decisiveness and willingness to fight." But as to "this business of my having done the unthinkable and voted for George Bush, I would say, now look, I voted for George Bush but so did 62,040,609 other Americans. Now what does that make them? Of course, they want to say--'Fools like you!' . . . But then they catch themselves, 'Wait a minute, I can't go around saying that the majority of the American people are fools, idiots, bumblers, hicks.' So they just kind of dodge that question. And so many of them are so caught up in this kind of metropolitan intellectual atmosphere that they simply don't go across the Hudson River. They literally do not set foot in the United States.

It's interesting to read these statements in light of comments made by many bloggers in conjunction with the third "anniversary" of the war in Iraq.

I think one way to identify intellectual fasionistas is by the degree to which they are open to examining all (not "both") sides of a story.

For example, Joshua at TFK recently gave his version of a numerical rundown of the war in Iraq.

"2318 American soldiers have died in Iraq, a total of 2525 coalition soldiers. Credible reports attribute 33,710-37,832 Iraqi civilian casualties to military actions since the invasion, credible epidemiological research puts the number of excess fatalities above 100,000. In 1,100 days, that amounts to ten people a day who didn't have to die."

What Joshua doesn't consider is the number of people who would have died if other, or no, action had been taken. Granted, most people would expect casualties not to be as high. But then, most people in Kansas City wouldn't have expected more than 120 homicides last year.

The intellectually fashionable fail to consider numbers from other sides of the issue:

• 1,581 Iraqi civilians killed by Islamic terrorists so far this year
• 4,535 deadly terrorist attacks since the attack on The World Trade Centers in New York
• 3,262 people have been killed by Islamic terrorists in America in 37 terror attacks since 1973.

All this isn't to say that the war in Iraq has been carried out flawlessly. It hasn't. There have been many missteps with fatal consequences, and the administration has shown incompetence on multiple occasions.

But, as Mr. Gnade notes in a separate post, there is no such thing as a perfect war or a perfect world. And mistakes have to be weighed against the cost of doing nothing at all. The the best way to do this is with objectivity and intellectual honesty.

Of course, that is much more difficult and takes more effort than following the intellectual fashion trends.

tagged: Iraq, war, terrorists, Wall Street Journal, Tom Wolfe, Bush, intellectual, fashion, casualties

Trials and tribulations

It looks like the Cruisetians (also known as Scientologists) are taking another kick in the PR chones.

By now you've surely heard/read about the flack thrown by South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone when it was reported that Isaac Hayes had announced he was leaving the show in protest to the way Cruisetians were satirized.

Now it turns out that that might not be true. But before the buzz can clear, comes the allegation that Scientology and Maverick are being blamed for a woman's death. MSNBC reports:

The ad refers readers to a Web site, which provides details on the case of Jeremy Perkins, a 28-year-old schizophrenic who stabbed his mother to death. Perkins was a staunch Scientologist and his mother was a counselor in the church — which opposes psychiatry and psychiatric drugs and "believes modern psychiatric medicine derives from an ancient alien civilization's plot to drug and enslave humanity," notes the site.

So, it's not a good time to be a Scientologists. But all fledgeling religions have gone through tough times. Well Cruisetians, take heart. It's only 85 more years until Comet Hale/Bopp returns and you can all hitch a ride to paradise on the Giant Space Ark.

tagged: pop culture, TV, Isaac Hayes, South Park, Scientology, Tom Cruise, Top Gun