With the cold winter weather upon us, everyone in our family has donned the heavy wool winter coats.
This is good in that it keeps us warm. But it's bad in that it tends to lead to a huge buildup of static electricity.
My five-year-old came home from school yesterday in her wool coat, ran across the carpet and jumped up to give me a big hug. She also gave me a static shock that straightened my remaining hair.
It looked something like this:
tagged: static, electricity, high-voltage arc, Jacob's Ladder, winter, wool
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Monday, December 03, 2007
Feetcicles
My freakin' feet are freezing!They've been cold since I got out of the shower and I haven't been able to get them warmed up all day.
It's weird because I've been pretty comfortable from the ankles up. I've even had my shirtsleeves rolled up all afternoon.
But my toes are like icicles. Something tells me they're going to be cold until I crawl into bed tonight and put them between my supermodel wife's knees.
tagged: feet, cold, weather, wife, freezing
Another milestone
It was one of the proudest moments of fatherhood so far - right up there with our daughter's first words, first steps, first use of toilet without my help.
We were sitting on the living room floor playing the Scrabble Junior game she received on her fifth birthday a few weeks ago. She had just finished a play and had drawn two new letter tiles from the pool.
"I got a 'P,'" she exclaimed as she chose the second tile.
"Well," I said. "The bathroom is right over there. I'll wait for you."
A few seconds when by while her five-year-old brain processed my seemingly inappropriate response.
Then the amazing thing happened. Here face changed from a look of confusion, to sudden recognition as she "got" the word play, then a huge sincere smile.
That was followed by several minutes of uncontrollable laughter at my lame joke.
I couldn't help but laugh myself. Not at the joke, but at the fact that she got the punchline. Sure, she's laughed at jokes before but only because she knows she's supposed to, not because she really thinks it's funny.
When the giggling finally stopped, she said "Tell that joke again!"
But it was time to move on. I mean, I also have to teach showmanship. Always leave them wanting more.
tagged: family, joke, humor, pun, word play, parenting
We were sitting on the living room floor playing the Scrabble Junior game she received on her fifth birthday a few weeks ago. She had just finished a play and had drawn two new letter tiles from the pool.
"I got a 'P,'" she exclaimed as she chose the second tile."Well," I said. "The bathroom is right over there. I'll wait for you."
A few seconds when by while her five-year-old brain processed my seemingly inappropriate response.
Then the amazing thing happened. Here face changed from a look of confusion, to sudden recognition as she "got" the word play, then a huge sincere smile.
That was followed by several minutes of uncontrollable laughter at my lame joke.
I couldn't help but laugh myself. Not at the joke, but at the fact that she got the punchline. Sure, she's laughed at jokes before but only because she knows she's supposed to, not because she really thinks it's funny.
When the giggling finally stopped, she said "Tell that joke again!"
But it was time to move on. I mean, I also have to teach showmanship. Always leave them wanting more.
tagged: family, joke, humor, pun, word play, parenting
Friday, November 30, 2007
Friday Blogthing: I'm not as think as you drunk I am...
Thursday, November 29, 2007
The KU formula
Well it's been a few days, and by now most of the initial in-your-faceness of Mizzou fans toward KU fans has subsided.
I first want to congratulate you Mizzou fans out there on a game well cheered. You supported your team to a victory and you deserve your moment in the spotlight. And a tip of the hat to the KU fans as well, who stood up to the post-game smack with aplomb. Bloodied but unbowed, they showed themselves to be good sports in a tough loss.
So while the Tiger nation is gearing up for the Big XII title bout this weekend, and the Jayhawks are cooling their heels waiting to see what upper-tier bowl they will go to, it is a good time to make sure we don't overlook the gargantuan contribution of KU head coach Mark Mangino.
You may not have noticed this man, as he tends to keep a low profile on the sideline during games. But what he has accomplished this season should not go unnoticed. In guiding his team to a successful 11-1 season, he has proven the validity of two key coaching strategies.
First is the importance of early season, on-field, non-conference preparation.
By scheduling his team for a veritable gridiron grind house in its first four games verses the likes of Central Michigan, Southeastern Louisiana, Toledo and Florida International, Mangino made sure his troops were tough and battle ready for the brutal Big XII schedule ahead.
Secondly, and most importantly, Mangino understands the need to help his players off the field as well as coach them on the field. When new recruits need academic help, for example, Mangino knows it's the coach's duty to make sure they get that help.
Sure some may call it academic fraud, but the loss of scholarships is a small price to pay for a student athlete's academic progress and the promise of fat bowl payouts.
So we salute you Coach Mangino. You may have more chins than a Chinese phone book, but you have shown us how strong priorities can lead to success on the football field.
tagged: KU, Mizzou, Kansas, Mangino, academic fraud, football, Big XII
I first want to congratulate you Mizzou fans out there on a game well cheered. You supported your team to a victory and you deserve your moment in the spotlight. And a tip of the hat to the KU fans as well, who stood up to the post-game smack with aplomb. Bloodied but unbowed, they showed themselves to be good sports in a tough loss.
So while the Tiger nation is gearing up for the Big XII title bout this weekend, and the Jayhawks are cooling their heels waiting to see what upper-tier bowl they will go to, it is a good time to make sure we don't overlook the gargantuan contribution of KU head coach Mark Mangino.
You may not have noticed this man, as he tends to keep a low profile on the sideline during games. But what he has accomplished this season should not go unnoticed. In guiding his team to a successful 11-1 season, he has proven the validity of two key coaching strategies.First is the importance of early season, on-field, non-conference preparation.
By scheduling his team for a veritable gridiron grind house in its first four games verses the likes of Central Michigan, Southeastern Louisiana, Toledo and Florida International, Mangino made sure his troops were tough and battle ready for the brutal Big XII schedule ahead.
Secondly, and most importantly, Mangino understands the need to help his players off the field as well as coach them on the field. When new recruits need academic help, for example, Mangino knows it's the coach's duty to make sure they get that help.
Sure some may call it academic fraud, but the loss of scholarships is a small price to pay for a student athlete's academic progress and the promise of fat bowl payouts.
So we salute you Coach Mangino. You may have more chins than a Chinese phone book, but you have shown us how strong priorities can lead to success on the football field.tagged: KU, Mizzou, Kansas, Mangino, academic fraud, football, Big XII
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Race to win
Last night we were watching the season finale of Dancing with the has-beens Stars.
Yes. That's a good question? Why indeed was I watching this show?
I think it was a confluence of several factors, 1) our Time Warner DVR had shot craps the day before and left us with none of the recorded decent programming to fall back on, 2) it was less obnoxious than any other ChickTV programming which, to my primitive male brain, seems to consist of a single show aired seven nights a week under the title Brothers and Grey's Private October Murder Club in Trees, and 3) my head is so congested with my twice-yearly cold that I didn't really give two shits about what was on the teevee.
Anycrap, if your not familiar with the show, they take a professional dancer (WTF?) and pair them with a so-called celebrity and have a dance-off. It's kind of like Michael Jackson's Beat It video, but with lots more latent homosexuality (not that there's anything wrong with that).
So last night, they were down to the final two teams. In one corner, a Russian professional dancer I've never heard of and Melanie Brown, a.k.a. Mel B, a.k.a. Scary Spice.
In the other corner was Indy Car racing champ Helio Castroneves and All-American California girl Julianne Hough.
So with a Russian, a Brazilian and black Brit and a blond-haired, blue-eyed American on the stage, who do you thing the viewing public would vote for.
That's right, the pretty little white girl. Good job USA! Way to vote for the white girl just because she's white! Everybody knows that black people are far superior to white people in dancing. It was clear throughout the night with all of the highlight clips Scary Spice shakin' her money maker.
So here's the American viewing public, keeping it racist since 1789.
tagged: TV, television, Dancing with the Stars, race, Scary Spice, pop culture, Helio Castroneves
Yes. That's a good question? Why indeed was I watching this show?
I think it was a confluence of several factors, 1) our Time Warner DVR had shot craps the day before and left us with none of the recorded decent programming to fall back on, 2) it was less obnoxious than any other ChickTV programming which, to my primitive male brain, seems to consist of a single show aired seven nights a week under the title Brothers and Grey's Private October Murder Club in Trees, and 3) my head is so congested with my twice-yearly cold that I didn't really give two shits about what was on the teevee.
Anycrap, if your not familiar with the show, they take a professional dancer (WTF?) and pair them with a so-called celebrity and have a dance-off. It's kind of like Michael Jackson's Beat It video, but with lots more latent homosexuality (not that there's anything wrong with that).
So last night, they were down to the final two teams. In one corner, a Russian professional dancer I've never heard of and Melanie Brown, a.k.a. Mel B, a.k.a. Scary Spice.In the other corner was Indy Car racing champ Helio Castroneves and All-American California girl Julianne Hough.
So with a Russian, a Brazilian and black Brit and a blond-haired, blue-eyed American on the stage, who do you thing the viewing public would vote for.
That's right, the pretty little white girl. Good job USA! Way to vote for the white girl just because she's white! Everybody knows that black people are far superior to white people in dancing. It was clear throughout the night with all of the highlight clips Scary Spice shakin' her money maker.
So here's the American viewing public, keeping it racist since 1789.
tagged: TV, television, Dancing with the Stars, race, Scary Spice, pop culture, Helio Castroneves
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
My latest Michael Scott moment
So my Supermodel Wife and I were meeting with a lawyer recently, getting "our affairs" in order (revocable trust, living wills, custody plans for our kid, you know all that rot that adults are supposed to do).
Well, it so happened that the lawyer was a woman, not that there's anything wrong with that. She was looking over some of our paperwork, explaining certain legal terms and concepts and she mentioned that we have a "sizable estate."
Well, of course I couldn't let that go by without remarking "That's what she said."
I received both a look of embarrassment from my Supermodel Wife (not a new thing) and a look of abject derision (also not a new thing) from the lady lawyer.
But it was totally worth it.
PS - Before you go kissing my ass to get me to buy drinks and pay for your dinner, you should know that our "sizable estate" is predicated upon both my Supermodel Wife and I being dead. Otherwise, all we have is big mortgage, a car payment and several credit card bills.
tagged: The Office, Michael Scott, lawyer, affairs, That's what she said
Well, it so happened that the lawyer was a woman, not that there's anything wrong with that. She was looking over some of our paperwork, explaining certain legal terms and concepts and she mentioned that we have a "sizable estate."
Well, of course I couldn't let that go by without remarking "That's what she said."
I received both a look of embarrassment from my Supermodel Wife (not a new thing) and a look of abject derision (also not a new thing) from the lady lawyer.
But it was totally worth it.
PS - Before you go kissing my ass to get me to buy drinks and pay for your dinner, you should know that our "sizable estate" is predicated upon both my Supermodel Wife and I being dead. Otherwise, all we have is big mortgage, a car payment and several credit card bills.tagged: The Office, Michael Scott, lawyer, affairs, That's what she said
YouTube Tuesday: Pranksgiving
One of my favorite traditions at Thanksgiving was the playing of pranks on the new guy.
It could be a friend from college, a new boyfriend (of my sister, sister-in-law, niece, whoever), but we always tried to haze the new guy a little just to make him feel part of the family.
My brother and I used to pull this one regularly. Yes it's an oldie, but still a goodie.
tagged: movie, YouTube, video, wooden spoon, prank, funny, humor
It could be a friend from college, a new boyfriend (of my sister, sister-in-law, niece, whoever), but we always tried to haze the new guy a little just to make him feel part of the family.
My brother and I used to pull this one regularly. Yes it's an oldie, but still a goodie.
tagged: movie, YouTube, video, wooden spoon, prank, funny, humor
Friday, November 23, 2007
Friday Blogthing: Travelin man, love when I can
Today's Friday Blogthing comes from R. Sherman at Musings From The Hinterland who discovered this neato geography quiz.
My first-time results are:
PS- I just notices the embedded version of this looks like complete shite, so click this link if you want to take the quiz and match geographical wits with me.
tagged: Friday, test, world, geography, travel, quiz, meme, blog
My first-time results are:
Final Score: 281,988But I think I can do better with a little practice and a few thousand frequent flyer miles.
Final Level: 8 (I started missing terribly on the small African cities)
Traveler IQ: 102
PS- I just notices the embedded version of this looks like complete shite, so click this link if you want to take the quiz and match geographical wits with me.
tagged: Friday, test, world, geography, travel, quiz, meme, blog
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The real winner
So by now everyone has been severely exposed to all the hype surrounding this weekend's game between the universities of Missouri and Kansas.
There's a lot of made up media buzz around how this is a continuation of a "border war" that has been going on since before the American Civil War, and how for the first time in history the game has "significance" on the national college football scene (the significance of which is highly questionable in and of itself).
But for those of you looking for a clue as to who is going to win this weekend, let me give you a hint: The winner has already been decided.
Oh sure, the score on the field is still to-be-determined. But in the real contest, the contest that matters, the winner was decided months ago when the two schools agreed to play the game in Kansas City, rather than Lawrence where it was originally scheduled.
You can't really blame KU. At the time I'm sure school officials figured the Jayhawks would lived down to everyone's expectations and the best hope for a bigger payday would be to sell out and move the game to Arrowhead Stadium.
This of course leaves the businesses of Lawrence out in the cold. Unfortunately for them, the huge potential payday that has resulted from the Jayhawks amazing failure to live down to expectations will go to Jackson County, Mo., rather than Douglas County, Kan.
Kansas City is raking in millions in taxes from ticket sales from the 78,000-plus sellout of the game at Arrowhead. And area businesses and hotels are taking in even more in revenue and sales tax.
The businesses of Lawrence can look forward to a huge drop in sales revenues as crowds of KU faithful head to KC for the game. Can you imagine the financial devastation that will hit Lawrence when hundreds of KU alumni take all the cash they've been hoarding from their McDonald's jobs and spend in KC?
On the biggest shopping weekend of the year no less?
So here's to Kansas City, Mo. No matter the final score of Saturday's game, KC is the real winner.*
*Of course, all of the additional tax revenue will go into the pockets of real estate developers, but that's another story.
tagged: Lawrence, Kansas, Kansas City, Missouri, KU, football, Arrowhead Stadium
There's a lot of made up media buzz around how this is a continuation of a "border war" that has been going on since before the American Civil War, and how for the first time in history the game has "significance" on the national college football scene (the significance of which is highly questionable in and of itself).
But for those of you looking for a clue as to who is going to win this weekend, let me give you a hint: The winner has already been decided.Oh sure, the score on the field is still to-be-determined. But in the real contest, the contest that matters, the winner was decided months ago when the two schools agreed to play the game in Kansas City, rather than Lawrence where it was originally scheduled.
You can't really blame KU. At the time I'm sure school officials figured the Jayhawks would lived down to everyone's expectations and the best hope for a bigger payday would be to sell out and move the game to Arrowhead Stadium.
This of course leaves the businesses of Lawrence out in the cold. Unfortunately for them, the huge potential payday that has resulted from the Jayhawks amazing failure to live down to expectations will go to Jackson County, Mo., rather than Douglas County, Kan.
Kansas City is raking in millions in taxes from ticket sales from the 78,000-plus sellout of the game at Arrowhead. And area businesses and hotels are taking in even more in revenue and sales tax.
The businesses of Lawrence can look forward to a huge drop in sales revenues as crowds of KU faithful head to KC for the game. Can you imagine the financial devastation that will hit Lawrence when hundreds of KU alumni take all the cash they've been hoarding from their McDonald's jobs and spend in KC?
On the biggest shopping weekend of the year no less?
So here's to Kansas City, Mo. No matter the final score of Saturday's game, KC is the real winner.*
*Of course, all of the additional tax revenue will go into the pockets of real estate developers, but that's another story.
tagged: Lawrence, Kansas, Kansas City, Missouri, KU, football, Arrowhead Stadium
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