Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Race to win

Last night we were watching the season finale of Dancing with the has-beens Stars.

Yes. That's a good question? Why indeed was I watching this show?

I think it was a confluence of several factors, 1) our Time Warner DVR had shot craps the day before and left us with none of the recorded decent programming to fall back on, 2) it was less obnoxious than any other ChickTV programming which, to my primitive male brain, seems to consist of a single show aired seven nights a week under the title Brothers and Grey's Private October Murder Club in Trees, and 3) my head is so congested with my twice-yearly cold that I didn't really give two shits about what was on the teevee.

Anycrap, if your not familiar with the show, they take a professional dancer (WTF?) and pair them with a so-called celebrity and have a dance-off. It's kind of like Michael Jackson's Beat It video, but with lots more latent homosexuality (not that there's anything wrong with that).

So last night, they were down to the final two teams. In one corner, a Russian professional dancer I've never heard of and Melanie Brown, a.k.a. Mel B, a.k.a. Scary Spice.

In the other corner was Indy Car racing champ Helio Castroneves and All-American California girl Julianne Hough.

So with a Russian, a Brazilian and black Brit and a blond-haired, blue-eyed American on the stage, who do you thing the viewing public would vote for.

That's right, the pretty little white girl. Good job USA! Way to vote for the white girl just because she's white! Everybody knows that black people are far superior to white people in dancing. It was clear throughout the night with all of the highlight clips Scary Spice shakin' her money maker.

So here's the American viewing public, keeping it racist since 1789.

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  1. 1. Two seasons ago, Emmitt Smith won. He's black, last time I checked.

    2. Julianne is not from California. She's a Mormon from Utah.

    3. There are actually many injustices about this so-called "competition," starting with the fact that the best dancer got voted out in week six and the fact that Marie Osmond lasted until the finals for the simple reason that (again) there are million-ish Mormons out there and that there are, apparently, even more housefraus who collect her goofy dolls.

    4. Overall, I think it's pretty miraculous that a race car driver won a ballroom dance competition. Maybe even more amazing that you actually watched all of it. But I understand. You weren't in your right mind, what with your sickness and all...

  2. Did you sit between your wife's legs and let her braid your hair, too?

    Me and the rest of the hetro male population were watching the Beauty and the Geek, Sex and the City, er, er....

  3. Chimpo, she was braiding my back hair.

  4. Scary Spice isn't so scary anymore.

  5. Brothers and Grey's Private October Murder Club in Trees? LOL!

  6. Oh c'mon. You know you secretly want to put on a matador outfit and dance the supermodel wife into the moonlight with the paso doble.

    (Should I worry that I know what the paso doble is?)


  7. PDSH, thanks for stopping by. Great to hear from you. Hope all is well in NoCal.

  8. Randall, until the other night, I thought "paso doble" is how you superized it at Ponak's.


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