Wednesday, April 09, 2008

That's all I've got to say about that

I'm a little bit bitter better today -- a state of mind I owe, no doubt, to the therapeutic affects of time and a Benadryl overdose (the original stuff, not that non-drowsy crap).

Today the KU fanboys (and girls) around the office are still obnoxious with their second straight day of Blue and Red, but they seem to have picked up on my non-verbal cues that I'm not one of them (chief among such cues: the purple shirt (the color of kings) that I'm wearing today).

I know I've been a whiny bitch about the whole KU thing. But in my defense, I just think someone should try to provide some kind of equal-time balance to the gigantic, collective Hawkgasm that has spewed its sticky self all over this city.

Still, I know a lot of the Cheathawk fans don't have much of a sense of humor in this regard, so I'm making this my last post on this particular issue (unless and until Coach Bill Self takes the money and runs to Okie State).

That being the case, I just need to get a couple of things off my chest.

First, I want to offer a bit of a mea culpa to KU's basketball team. I want to congratulate you for your accomplishment. You succeeded in using illegal recruiting practices* to build a team that could coast through the easiest bracket in the tournament and then accept the championship presented to you on a silver platter by an inept Memphis team that refused to foul when it needed and refused to make critical free throws.

So congratulations again on that.

Secondly, I know that this is a huge deal to KU fans, but just remember how annoying we all think the Oklahoma "longest-winning-streak-in-college-football-history" Sooners fans are.

With that in mind, if you must talk or interact with me, let's see if we can find a topic other than KU. I've come up with a starter list:
Things I would rather do than hearing about KU's win:
*NCAA Division I Committee on Infractions, Oct. 12, 2006: "Major violations occurred in the men's basketball program from 2002 through 2005. During that time frame, a representative of the institution's athletics interests supplied cash, transportation, clothing and other benefits to two men's basketball student-athletes. The athletics representative befriended one of the young men while he was still a prospect, buying him clothing and meals and transporting him to a number of the institution's men's basketball contests. ..."
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  1. You somehow single handedly capture exactly how I feel about KU. Only mine is actually a completely irrational and unconditional hatred for KU. Props for use of the word 'Hawkgasm'.

  2. "Hey man! Did you see that game Monday night? It was Awesome!!"

  3. Thank GOD you're letting this go*! I was about to offer to build you a bridge already. Sheesh!

    *Yeah, you're not really letting it go, are you? We're gonna have to hear about this more next week, or something, right? Good God.

  4. Shane,

    Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

  5. This is hands down the greatest post I've ever read.

    You are my hero --

    F. U. K. U.

    Rock Chalk that Mf's

  6. Can I sell you some Windex for that glass house you're living in?

  7. K- Who? Kudo's for the kiss larry moore reference, funny stuff.

  8. Nicely said. Love the "Hawkgasm" line.



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