Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Package deal

I don't know about you, but I have a huge economic stimulus package.

I was admiring it the other day after taking it out of its wrapping. If you’re single, and you don’t have kids, chances are your economic stimulus package is no where near as big as mine.

Don’t feel bad though. Not everyone is endowed with such a large economic stimulus package. If you happen to have a small economic stimulus package, I hear there a many programs out there that can help you make the most of it.

For example, I saw an ad on The Home Depot website a couple of days ago saying they could help you stretch your economic stimulus package. It probably means buying one of their cheap hoes, so I won’t be taking advantage of that (let’s face it, I’m too old and dignified for that sort of thing). But it might be an option for some of you.

You can also get your stimulus package to last longer by going to Branson, Mo. According to their website, they are offering a number of services to extend your economic stimulus package.

Personally, I'll be giving my full economic stimulus package to my Supermodel Wife. She is particularly talented at getting the most out of my economic stimulus package. I actually enjoy the experience of having her take hold of the economic stimulus package and putting it to good use.

Regardless of the size of your economic stimulus package, it's important to remember that it's there to be enjoyed. And don't forget, the entire country is counting on all of us making use our economic stimulus packages.

So even if you have a tiny economic stimulus package, don't just leave it tucked away in a dark place somewhere gathering dust. Take it out and enjoy it.

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  1. dear emaw:do you think it's better for the economy to use your package on many cheap hoes or buy one expensive hoe.
    hoe-nfused in Olathe

  2. I still haven't gotten my check. It's annoying.

  3. I'm afraid the thought of going to Branson would cause my package to shrivel up and blow away.

  4. the gubmint snatched my package before I ever got my hands on it.

  5. meesha,

    The important thing is that you find trifling things to spend your package on. If you're having trouble blowing your package, perhaps you can find a girlfriend (or if your in Lee's Summit, a relative) to blow it for you.

  6. MM -- Yeah, you gotta watch out for those blood-sucking package snatchers.

  7. Mine's bigger than yours! But don't worry, any nice girl will tell you the size of your package doesn't matter.

  8. any girl that does that is not a nice girl.


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